Kpop Satanic/Illuminati Influence

seafood7

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Well the illuminati arent here for nothing, their ultimate goal is to become gods themselves and replace biblical doctrine with theirs. Satan knew that God is more powerful yet he chose to rebel and wanted to become god himself. Satan is the murderer, and he comes to kill steal and destroy. Nothing else. Through all of these agendas and distractions and technologies the illuminati has been heavily pushing in the world, God is being hidden, they hate God they are making sure to push God out and make the world accept their satanic doctrines and teachings and promote lawlessness, immorality, selfishness/pride/becoming gods, etc instead of following God and being able to find hope and salvation, which is why most of the world is tolerant and blind and openly embracing all this satanic stuff. They make it so appealing and look perfectly normal... As the world keeps pushing and rejecting God away, He seems more distant to the point of people questioning whether He is even real or not. Thats why it also seems really difficult to pray and see or feel God intervene with the world. It is Satans fault why there is so much evil. And the more demonic influences pollutes the world the more evil there will be. And God may not always protect our flesh, but he will always protect our spirit. So much people are suffering the world yes but that responsibility is completely held on Satan. God doesnt want anyone to perish but that all come to repentance and be saved and have eternal life and has good plans prepared. At the end of the day the evildoers will receive their deserving reward and the victims/the innocent will receive their reward and justice they deserve and this evil will not last forever.

Im not attacking you or trying to 'convert' you or start a religious debate at all but just trying to clear things up and explain it on my perspective:):) cus the illuminati worships satan and like people shouldnt be worshipping/supporting the very source of evil and wickedness, but be in favor of God/good things. But yes i do agree that now that we are aware of the occult and their agendas and how they are using idols/celebrities as puppets we should just stay away from them and not let ourselves get lured into their tricks. :cool::)
I know this is the most popular view on this subject, but I will not share this view, too many questions are open
 






Veranda57

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Oct 12, 2019
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Do those idols who do military service also get abused/tortured??
I think they all have to endure this over the time they work for SM...just my opinion.. . I know that chains represents being a Slave but I just started noticing that Ta3mn is wearing pearls and I wondered what that means if anything... I haven’t seen this before...
 






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Sunnyday21

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Hi
I found this picture
J0y always is special to ESEM since the debut of rv
She wears crowns to make the difference or short dresses. J0yy must be a special sexu4l slave I think(?) In ice cream c4ke mv she appears with a cat. We know that means a cat.... something strange for me also is her fear to fireworks. She has a trauma with fireworks, but some years ago she was not afraid. Her trauma is recent and why? Maybe it is result of constant abuses :/
Sorry for my English
 






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alyssanug

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i've lurked this thread for a while but each time i come back to try to absorb everything here it leaves me massively dented in the brain and scarred in the soul. it's really a lot to take in but it's not hard to believe something that's so fucking obvious and i feel like people will do anything both subconsciously and consciously to veer themselves far from the sad filthy reality of it. because the symbols and all of it is right there literally mocking you in your face if you choose to ignore it. as someone who disassociates often due to suffering by myself from keeping all the pain locked up inside of me nothing sends me down into the biggest depressive spiral than the dark real facts laid here in the open about the weird truth of what's really going on behind the scenes. it's made me unable to cope alone because it's too much to bear so i'm crawling into this thread. when idols do the ok sign over their eye does it mean they know what they're doing and they've already long sold their soul or they're being told to pose that way without knowing nothing about it? i know at that point they're helpless programmed victims subjected to mk ultra because they're in the shitty evil industry. i doubt they knew they'd be abused because i have a hard time understanding why anybody would put themselves in such a sick environment like that. let's say it's for fame and fortune, it's still not so simple i don't get why they'd want it if they have to sell their body to hideous pedophiles sitting on cushion seats eating cheezits while they only target "smaller" sickos for turning people's attention toward the elite's scapegoat in the media and complying to anything else included in the deal even when you know you'll probably want to die after what you've done. and sacrificing your loved ones? sacrificing your mom? what? why would you do that do you have no love in you is the only thing that sheerly exists inside of you pitch black emptiness???????? how cold and hard as rock your heart must be to be able to sacrifice the ones you're close to. it really makes me distraught because of how disgusting and twisted it is. i'm scared and sick of how science praised supported newer technology is enthusiastically keeping up wildly being invented out of the devil's ass and constantly upgraded to the shiniest most traumatizing effective mind control tool with the indiscreet plans of the butter faced elite psycho pedos in this vile world.

It’s really tough to learn about all this. It makes you feel alone since you know that majority of the population has no idea about all this stuff. I’ve been knowing about this for 7 years and it still bothers me. celebrities/idols have no idea what there getting into when they join the music industry. They go through mk ultra which causes multiple personalities. Most of the time they don’t even know that they have those other personalities. There’s children from the 80’s who are speaking out about there mk ultra experience and they said that they had no idea about there other personalities until they went and saw a psychiatrist or they were triggered by something that was familiar to them when they are in a different alter. One women didn’t know about her sex kitten alter for 40 years. It’s so sad. Also going under extreme stress and traumatization causes the brain to forget about what happened. It’s a natural body mechanism. Most idols/ celebrities have a choice though. & most continue to live that life.
 






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alyssanug

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Friends, I've just wanted to rewatch a video about satanic things in b1@ckp!nk's KT.L. I had already watched it, but now I can't find it anymore:( All I remember that video was about a lot of a light and thunders in KT.L mv that means lucifer. And, as I remember, the video have been made by a priest, or at least that video made a person with a male voice. Does anybody have a link?...
That video included screens like these:View attachment 27605View attachment 27606View attachment 27607View attachment 27608View attachment 27609View attachment 27610View attachment 27611
Friends, I've just wanted to rewatch a video about satanic things in b1@ckp!nk's KT.L. I had already watched it, but now I can't find it anymore:( All I remember that video was about a lot of a light and thunders in KT.L mv that means lucifer. And, as I remember, the video have been made by a priest, or at least that video made a person with a male voice. Does anybody have a link?...
That video included screens like these:View attachment 27605View attachment 27606View attachment 27607View attachment 27608View attachment 27609View attachment 27610View attachment 27611
Kill this love is about members of black pink trying to kill there innocent selves or the good within themselves. Also you can see jisoo that has the bow and arrow she’s dressed in dark clothing and looks a bit evil, that’s the evil side of herself aiming the arrow at her innocent self who is dressed up in white. She’s trying to kill the good part of herself. Rose is also trying to kill the innocent /good part of herself when she’s in the car. Jennie shown in the beginning is by two swans that are black and white which represents the duality of her mind, which is a reference to mk ultra and how they can only see in black and white now figuratively. Lisa is shown in “heaven” surrounded by a lot of cereals that are sweet which means that just because something looks “sweet” or good doesn’t mean that it is,
Its like don’t judge a book by it’s a cover. Becoming an idol may seem great on the outside but once you’re in it, it’s not great at all.
 






alyssanug

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I think they all have to endure this over the time they work for SM...just my opinion.. . I know that chains represents being a Slave but I just started noticing that Ta3mn is wearing pearls and I wondered what that means if anything... I haven’t seen this before...
Pearls symbolizes beta sex kitten/sex slave. Taehyung of bts wears them sometimes too.EEE46FAA-E785-4BFD-BF2F-E42E8A9A39A9.jpeg
 






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alyssanug

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There’s a lot of symbolism in WaY Vs new music video and I noticed this guy is wearing red shoes. Red shoes is symbolism for sacrificing children. . The same guy made a prayer to the devil during a performance too. If you ever see an artist performing and they bring there hand from there chin up above them to the sky while doing the devil horn symbolism, that’s a prayer to the devil. Makes me sick. I’ve seen bts do it multiple times.
Also the first picture you can see the “as above so below” which is referring to satanism. A62E3D9E-6E2E-4D66-B465-9F7E391CDFC8.jpeg2D4878B8-E95E-4D0B-8522-D02A335C1818.jpeg3A53CF2F-2169-4A45-850C-8A7E87670B5E.jpeg6D4A0660-87D1-4619-ABA7-FE697F53D216.jpeg
 






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yeo0milk__

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I agree with you, the music video is just evil. I think some of the fans are waking up, because the video's views are at a all time low. I pray that those sacrificed children's soul can be in heaven, the fact that they got killed for just a music video is downright monstrosity. The signals are more stronger than ever that the end of the world is coming, and we may not have much time left.
 






alyssanug

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I agree with you, the music video is just evil. I think some of the fans are waking up, because the video's views are at a all time low. I pray that those sacrificed children's soul can be in heaven, the fact that they got killed for just a music video is downright monstrosity. The signals are more stronger than ever that the end of the world is coming, and we may not have much time left.
No noo no, the end of the world is not coming! There is way more people in the good side than the bad side. I'm really into astrology and know a lot of other conspiracies and trust me, somethings coming but its good. Theres a mass awakening going on. People are starting to wake up to truth more and more. History truly does repeat itself. This has happened before where the evil tries to take over but never wins.
 






alyssanug

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What other conspiracies?I heard that whatever is coming,the change will be around jan 12 or in the spring of 2020,somewhere in april.
And, because it can go either way depending on the collective consciousness,'they' will try to force people into low vibrations to advance 'their' own cause.
Is it alright if I message you?:)
yeah you can message me :)
There’s the 2030 conspiracy which is already half true. The U.N which is where most countries presidents come together proposed to have 20 guidelines they want to meet in 2030 it’s called “The UNs 2030 Agenda” that they want to happen all over the world. It sounds great but if you think deeper it’s not going to be great at all. It’s like the music industry lol. It may look great on the outside but there’s bad stuff happening once your in it. There definitely going to force there agendas on us in 2030. I highly agree with you too that the elite and all the evil people on top thrive off of bad energy and traumatization, which is why so many bad stuff happens here on earth. Satanism is no joke, it goes so much deeper than what people talk about. They literally cast spells onto the population to get what they want and they do mass sacrifices, for example it may seem like a “terroist attack” but they actually sacrificed people. It’s awful.
 






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tin oil

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This is exactly what I felt when I got in this theories myself. But you need to realax. You can't do anything about it, this is how this world created. This world. You'll be in another someday, but right now you should care about yourself and people who close to you and live right. I know there's a lot of Christian's here but I'm not one of them. I truly believe we are already in hell or in one of them C's this explains everything to me perfectly.
Why we are in such a place: people struggle, raped and God does nothing? Probably C's it's some sort of a hell. This might be the reason why the Satan called the god of this Earth. This might explain the reason one born poor and struggle somewhere in Iran and the other one is rich in the first world country. This explains why celebs pray for Satan and sell the soul. Who would sell the soul to be fried a tortured for the whole eternity?? But if hell is an Earth and signing the contract you'll be here after death it is sounds not that scary, right? This is why they have all seeing eye and have such control. C's it's their job to have this Ballance of evil in the world, people (or sinners) to struggle. This is our punishment and people get it depends on what they did in other better world. I don't think the God so cruel he would physically torture you for the eternity, this is sick, but I see the creator punish us to put in a place like this. Not that bad but not easy either. This explains why wars and all the mess created and why there's so many greedy evil people - it's needed and the souls are different. Some almost cured, some in the beginning of their way. This explains why suicide is a crime in religions - it's a try to run away from the matrix, but you' ll back here if you'll do it again. This might be totally bullshit but this theory explains everything to me while any religion view gives me 0 answers and cruel in the core. I prefer to think we get our way how we deserved it somewhere there. And you need to do what you think right and try to be a better person so when you'll die you might be come back to a great place. If we really in hell you can't fix anything, 'they' have allowance to do their sh*t from higher, it's evil planet, they rule it. If you'll check the folklore, which is really old, a lot of old Scandinavian and Russian fairytales talk how we live in one of the world's hinting it is not the best one. So who knows, I prefer belive in this. Just relax, live your life, look at evil with open eyes and never be part of it. I feel sad an pain for those who constantly tortured but I or you can't fix this system. You need to accept this and just help others when you can. You won't help yourself always thinking about everything evil going on.
honestly i don't consider myself a true christian because the definition of christian means that you humbly follow him while practicing his teachings and i'm not on the right track right now because i'm a chronic backslider. glad i know there ain't no white aryan jesus though because there just ain't. miss me with that blonde jesus is the loving lamb bs.

i love your theories. they're very interesting. most of the time i entertain my unstable depression demons by engaging in the dark neverending loop of metaolympics and nihilistic thoughts because it gives me false breathing room. i remember debating with my brother who was so up in god and studying/breathing scripture, etc all into it all the time i saw him but it'd be what i called apologetics christian metaolympics represented in his arguments. on the other hand my black pit adamant metaolympic logic would be only based on what the devil wants me to stay entrapped in. and whatever he'd tell me went out of my other ear because every time he tried to lecture/preach to me i'd be so fed up with him and the way he was always having his nose in the bible and it made me want to rip it up. not only would he study the word of god, he'd also study the quran and book of mormon just because. all the divided strange religious fruitcake ideologies and teachings he could get his hands on to counter them in roundabout debate. i'd make fun of him in my narrowminded head like i'd be all why does he even bother, what a weirdo. he pissed me off especially because "people all over the world are suffering and he does nothing but read the stupid bible and what have you as if that'll make the world a better place". now i know i was wrong to think that because no matter how far from god you are or what your religion is once you meet god and let him come into your heart none of it matters and as long as you're in him your ways will automatically be gradually corrected in a gentle loving way. no kind of any super secular drifted far off reasoning for why whatever anything is can stand against the body that's your vessel that he wants to occupy when you feel his real love. i see christians making fun of and hating on homosexuals but that's not how jesus is. you hear about hardcore homosexuals getting saved because they could feel his love even when they were in bondage to sodomy. there's nothing stronger than his love that condemns sin. no one individual is better than another because nobody's perfect.

and i suddenly want to cry as i type because i know i'm not in the best place right now to feel like i'm allowed to say all this like it's so hard for me to maintain my composure because i didn't think i had any more tears but they randomly flow out sometimes. i'm so jaded they dry quick. i'm so far from god right now i feel like my soul is heavily oppressed. i know he can help me but i'm stubborn and won't open my heart to him even though i know there's no hope except for him. i hate someone in my life and also hate myself. but it's hard to discredit god from the experiences i've had that i know are valid because i'm not the only one with these experiences. i've seen a demon close up right by the side of the bed during paralysis (not sleep paralysis i was fully awake and it didn't happen during my sleep it happened right as i was about to go to sleep after lying down) because of my rage and all of my questionable sins i indulged in. that's how i know spiritual warfare is real and hell is actually unimaginably more worse because that's where the demons are dancing michael jackson's moves all the time no those aren't michael jackson's moves they're the demons moves and it's lit over there. i heard demons dance like that in hell. let me tell you, when i saw that demon i had no power. i couldn't even keep looking away because it made me look it in the eyes. i literally thought i was going to die and go to hell. and i've never felt a hate so much intensely radiated before in a living thing my hate compared to its hate for me seemed like a joke. it only lasted for a moment and afterwards i didn't see the demon anymore but i was so petrified. i think that was god's way of showing me what i was really dangerously indulging in and how i was living however i wanted in a sinful lifestyle that attracts demons to feed off on my dark energy and most of all, that he didn't want me to live like that because he cares. and i know satan is real because mk ultra exists. that's the most satanic thing to ever be created and just like the abominable feces eating elite don't give a shit he doesn't care all he has is pure raw hate for humans and he'll use any sick twisted means he can to fuck us up that's how you know this isn't just a game we're in and how serious this shit is.

i don't buy what they say about sleep paralysis and deep down i only trust in god with how he works because not everything can be explained in the human point of view and he most likely sees the bigger picture and has the key. i feel like it's so easy to think he's just as glorified and screwed up in nature as satan is and on a power trip because we don't see how the pieces are being moved. heated secular atheists will criticize about how god's on a power trip saying believers only believe due to one thing, fear. especially fear of the unknown after death. when really satan's the one on a power trip. it's weird, every time i hear that i kind of laugh because i know it's not true. when i gave in to god and i could feel him in my presence i had no ounce of fear, depression, disassociation, sorrow, anger, anxiety, desire to sin, lacking energy, inproductivity, pessimism, nothing but peace and happiness and genuine curiosity about god the creator so i had the desire to read his word despite lingering on my past and not wanting to move on from something that happened to me when i was little because i remember it vividly after that memory became unrepressed and when it pops up which is frequently i just want to die. i was the same as my brother who i hated for doing what i just finally discovered then and when i opened the bible i'd read a few words and all i could do was cry the whole time for some reason i couldn't stop crying but i felt like my soul was being cleansed. the secret is you have to experience god curing you with his wonders yourself otherwise yeah, it's easy to be on that side. you'll constantly be stuck your whole life and in my case, never be able to get up on my feet.

honestly i'm so thankful you replied to me with what you said because at first when i all i did was lurk this thread i thought i would just keep lurking and that's it. you people aren't fake and are the realest quick witted bunch that are good at uncovering the sickeningly subtle and hidden meanings in all this esoteric mk ultra symbolism bull i feel lucky to talk to. though my brain hurts because of the higher understanding information overload (like what the actual fuck how do i know i'm not the clone of a human banana after i astral projected to find the best behaved monkeys to sacrifice in their sleep so i could be the #1 peeled clone of a banana it's too much for my tiny brain cells my forehead's gonna split) i'm glad i came out of my bubble a little even though i like to close myself off.

and i admit i have the same questions as you and to be honest i don't understand the way he works and the way he is at all. but the thing is there's always going to be back and forth metaolympics that support the mind's tendency of contorting this and that on any side of the debate. and i've never really delved into the word so i'm not the best one who can back god up with what little i know. what i won't do is totally discredit him because i'm the type to be like who are you? but then be like oh i know you. you're bffs with everyone! how nice is that! so i don't want anything to do with you! and pretend to hate him but i don't. i don't even go to church because imagine going to church with shady ass people and pedophiles. i've seen hypocritical pedos give sermons. and going to church only on sunday which is the pagans' sun worship day. god said to worship him always and pedos scrape at the bare minimum and pop in on sunday including celebrating all the pagan holidays in what's supposed to be the holy church revolving around god not events that give appreciation to the devil and for the rest of the other days in the week until sunday act the same as the atheists do. i feel like it's a commonly reveled spiritually fake jumbo fest. i tell myself all these things and that's how i shut god out but i don't lock the door on my heart even though i want to hate him so badly. at the end of the day he's in control and the one with the final authority who will be bringing judgement down on everybody that he made to have free will. and i think just because they go to church and repent doesn't mean it won't be revealed when they face god. and i think god allows certain things to happen through the free will he gave to humans so they're disqualified from entering heaven due to being a righteous judge and not just a loving god.

there are laws reflected from god in life and if you break them clear consequences will appear to you and follow and permanently attach on you so you won't get away but when you think you successfully squirmed away god sees what you did and it'll be revealed on judgement day. so he has all the ones that have been wronged covered. i may be blinded by emotional bitterness that clamps my heart shut tight right now but i can't pretend i don't know that. to be honest i feel like there are lots of contradictions and what bothers me the most out of all of them is the quote "repent and i will forget everything and your slate will be white and clean as snow". it makes it sound like every sin is equal in god's eyes which i can't stand honestly. and that's why i keep backsliding and not let god come near me but i think satan tries really hard to prevent me from having a relationship with god because i know god knows what i've been through and he's not just going to let it slip no matter how much it seems like he's letting it slip. like i said, i don't know how he works but i do know he's not a god who's lax and lets everything go.

lol my head's throbbing typing so much but as perplexing it all is due to the apparent laws of god on this earth everything always points back to the originator with its roots. i think why there are third world countries is because historically traced back if you look in the bible it's said how god promised he'd make great prospering nations out of the prophets. ultimately to god the poorer the individual the more blessed they are. the ones that literally don't have anything not even the bible to direct them how to live the way god wants but god comes to the poor and guides them and they feel rich to have god and the holy spirit. rich materialistic people think they don't need god so they don't look for god. human beings will always be afflicted and have to struggle but god helps carry all of the weight of your burdens if you let him.

sorry for dragging out my response and my head's about to explode but suicide's a big thing. i've never gone so far as to attempt actually offing myself but it makes me happy to a strangely comforting degree to think about killing myself and dying. especially after finding out about this whole indescribably sick mk ultra thing. but i'm trying not to go there because whenever i fantasize about suicide demons come to screw with me and i get sleep paralysis. that tells me how bad the devil wants my soul. like i get unexplainable red scratches and marks on my body. i feel like god protects you but there are certain barriers you can go out of and one of those are thinking about how much you want to die because only the devil wants you to do that.
 






Joined
Mar 10, 2018
Messages
6
Hi
I found this picture
J0y always is special to ESEM since the debut of rv
She wears crowns to make the difference or short dresses. J0yy must be a special sexu4l slave I think(?) In ice cream c4ke mv she appears with a cat. We know that means a cat.... something strange for me also is her fear to fireworks. She has a trauma with fireworks, but some years ago she was not afraid. Her trauma is recent and why? Maybe it is result of constant abuses :/
Sorry for my English
Other people have noticed these differences between J0y and the other members of Red Velvet. People seem to think she could be a clone, but I wonder why EsEm would go out of there way to distinguish her from the others like this? I remember a while ago another user here posted an article about kpop labels using android/robotic singers in "the future" which to me that means they're already doing it. Maybe J0y is their first and they're trying to hint at it with these images of her. Just an theory though.

https://www.koreaboo.com/stories/red-velvet-fans-believe-joy-clone-alleged-proof/

Also (as the article mentions) it's very interesting and strange that in their MV for Dumb Dumb, J0y is the only member not to appear on the conveyor belt as a set of clones.

Screenshot 2019-11-22 at 12.42.51 AM.png Screenshot 2019-11-22 at 12.36.22 AM.png Screenshot 2019-11-22 at 12.34.59 AM.pngScreenshot 2019-11-22 at 12.33.12 AM.png
 






Chibi Maruko Schweetz

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Sep 18, 2019
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Other people have noticed these differences between J0y and the other members of Red Velvet. People seem to think she could be a clone, but I wonder why EsEm would go out of there way to distinguish her from the others like this? I remember a while ago another user here posted an article about kpop labels using android/robotic singers in "the future" which to me that means they're already doing it. Maybe J0y is their first and they're trying to hint at it with these images of her. Just an theory though.

https://www.koreaboo.com/stories/red-velvet-fans-believe-joy-clone-alleged-proof/

Also (as the article mentions) it's very interesting and strange that in their MV for Dumb Dumb, J0y is the only member not to appear on the conveyor belt as a set of clones.

View attachment 28301View attachment 28302View attachment 28303View attachment 28304
There are two opinions in my brain. First if SM makes Joy is a clone, why she was fat while SM can make it slimmer because if clone it must be perfect?
Second, Yeap I have a thought that Joy is the clone of Sulli and of course they have to be the same! Same vibes! Joy and Sulli both give sexy dynamite aura vibes. They love to wear super skinny outfit and what makes them just the same are mouth and eye area. But my strong thought is Joy is Sulli clone. It can be the strongest reason why Sulli had to passed away while she can live longer.... SM doesn't want anybody know that they're just the same person
 






Gogobebe

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Phew... I tried to catch up with this thread as much as I can ^^ First of all hello to all new Users! :D
Sorry for being off topic, but could someone tell what each colour of hair means please?
Yess someone answer this please! Apart from pink, red and blond hair meaning programming/sex beta kitten slaves what about green, blue, gray, purple, etc
A while ago one of the members from other thread wrote:
blue - childlike
green - healing from ritual, transformation, turning a new "leaf"
grey - moody or no feelings
pink - beta kitten/se#ual; feminine, childlike
purple/violet - ritual (preparing to be programmed); superior
dark yellow - neutral, about to be programmed, precarious
white/blonde - programmed, beta kitten
red - aggressive, se#ual, beta kitten
black - normal or even those who are superior and those who have completed programming
brown - slightly programmed
platinum - superior and magician (ritual)

Hard for me to say if they are completely true, but that's what I've found

honestly i don't consider myself a true christian because the definition of christian means that you humbly follow him while practicing his teachings and i'm not on the right track right now because i'm a chronic backslider. glad i know there ain't no white aryan jesus though because there just ain't. miss me with that blonde jesus is the loving lamb bs.

i love your theories. they're very interesting. most of the time i entertain my unstable depression demons by engaging in the dark neverending loop of metaolympics and nihilistic thoughts because it gives me false breathing room. i remember debating with my brother who was so up in god and studying/breathing scripture, etc all into it all the time i saw him but it'd be what i called apologetics christian metaolympics represented in his arguments. on the other hand my black pit adamant metaolympic logic would be only based on what the devil wants me to stay entrapped in. and whatever he'd tell me went out of my other ear because every time he tried to lecture/preach to me i'd be so fed up with him and the way he was always having his nose in the bible and it made me want to rip it up. not only would he study the word of god, he'd also study the quran and book of mormon just because. all the divided strange religious fruitcake ideologies and teachings he could get his hands on to counter them in roundabout debate. i'd make fun of him in my narrowminded head like i'd be all why does he even bother, what a weirdo. he pissed me off especially because "people all over the world are suffering and he does nothing but read the stupid bible and what have you as if that'll make the world a better place". now i know i was wrong to think that because no matter how far from god you are or what your religion is once you meet god and let him come into your heart none of it matters and as long as you're in him your ways will automatically be gradually corrected in a gentle loving way. no kind of any super secular drifted far off reasoning for why whatever anything is can stand against the body that's your vessel that he wants to occupy when you feel his real love. i see christians making fun of and hating on homosexuals but that's not how jesus is. you hear about hardcore homosexuals getting saved because they could feel his love even when they were in bondage to sodomy. there's nothing stronger than his love that condemns sin. no one individual is better than another because nobody's perfect.

and i suddenly want to cry as i type because i know i'm not in the best place right now to feel like i'm allowed to say all this like it's so hard for me to maintain my composure because i didn't think i had any more tears but they randomly flow out sometimes. i'm so jaded they dry quick. i'm so far from god right now i feel like my soul is heavily oppressed. i know he can help me but i'm stubborn and won't open my heart to him even though i know there's no hope except for him. i hate someone in my life and also hate myself. but it's hard to discredit god from the experiences i've had that i know are valid because i'm not the only one with these experiences. i've seen a demon close up right by the side of the bed during paralysis (not sleep paralysis i was fully awake and it didn't happen during my sleep it happened right as i was about to go to sleep after lying down) because of my rage and all of my questionable sins i indulged in. that's how i know spiritual warfare is real and hell is actually unimaginably more worse because that's where the demons are dancing michael jackson's moves all the time no those aren't michael jackson's moves they're the demons moves and it's lit over there. i heard demons dance like that in hell. let me tell you, when i saw that demon i had no power. i couldn't even keep looking away because it made me look it in the eyes. i literally thought i was going to die and go to hell. and i've never felt a hate so much intensely radiated before in a living thing my hate compared to its hate for me seemed like a joke. it only lasted for a moment and afterwards i didn't see the demon anymore but i was so petrified. i think that was god's way of showing me what i was really dangerously indulging in and how i was living however i wanted in a sinful lifestyle that attracts demons to feed off on my dark energy and most of all, that he didn't want me to live like that because he cares. and i know satan is real because mk ultra exists. that's the most satanic thing to ever be created and just like the abominable feces eating elite don't give a shit he doesn't care all he has is pure raw hate for humans and he'll use any sick twisted means he can to fuck us up that's how you know this isn't just a game we're in and how serious this shit is.

i don't buy what they say about sleep paralysis and deep down i only trust in god with how he works because not everything can be explained in the human point of view and he most likely sees the bigger picture and has the key. i feel like it's so easy to think he's just as glorified and screwed up in nature as satan is and on a power trip because we don't see how the pieces are being moved. heated secular atheists will criticize about how god's on a power trip saying believers only believe due to one thing, fear. especially fear of the unknown after death. when really satan's the one on a power trip. it's weird, every time i hear that i kind of laugh because i know it's not true. when i gave in to god and i could feel him in my presence i had no ounce of fear, depression, disassociation, sorrow, anger, anxiety, desire to sin, lacking energy, inproductivity, pessimism, nothing but peace and happiness and genuine curiosity about god the creator so i had the desire to read his word despite lingering on my past and not wanting to move on from something that happened to me when i was little because i remember it vividly after that memory became unrepressed and when it pops up which is frequently i just want to die. i was the same as my brother who i hated for doing what i just finally discovered then and when i opened the bible i'd read a few words and all i could do was cry the whole time for some reason i couldn't stop crying but i felt like my soul was being cleansed. the secret is you have to experience god curing you with his wonders yourself otherwise yeah, it's easy to be on that side. you'll constantly be stuck your whole life and in my case, never be able to get up on my feet.

honestly i'm so thankful you replied to me with what you said because at first when i all i did was lurk this thread i thought i would just keep lurking and that's it. you people aren't fake and are the realest quick witted bunch that are good at uncovering the sickeningly subtle and hidden meanings in all this esoteric mk ultra symbolism bull i feel lucky to talk to. though my brain hurts because of the higher understanding information overload (like what the actual fuck how do i know i'm not the clone of a human banana after i astral projected to find the best behaved monkeys to sacrifice in their sleep so i could be the #1 peeled clone of a banana it's too much for my tiny brain cells my forehead's gonna split) i'm glad i came out of my bubble a little even though i like to close myself off.

and i admit i have the same questions as you and to be honest i don't understand the way he works and the way he is at all. but the thing is there's always going to be back and forth metaolympics that support the mind's tendency of contorting this and that on any side of the debate. and i've never really delved into the word so i'm not the best one who can back god up with what little i know. what i won't do is totally discredit him because i'm the type to be like who are you? but then be like oh i know you. you're bffs with everyone! how nice is that! so i don't want anything to do with you! and pretend to hate him but i don't. i don't even go to church because imagine going to church with shady ass people and pedophiles. i've seen hypocritical pedos give sermons. and going to church only on sunday which is the pagans' sun worship day. god said to worship him always and pedos scrape at the bare minimum and pop in on sunday including celebrating all the pagan holidays in what's supposed to be the holy church revolving around god not events that give appreciation to the devil and for the rest of the other days in the week until sunday act the same as the atheists do. i feel like it's a commonly reveled spiritually fake jumbo fest. i tell myself all these things and that's how i shut god out but i don't lock the door on my heart even though i want to hate him so badly. at the end of the day he's in control and the one with the final authority who will be bringing judgement down on everybody that he made to have free will. and i think just because they go to church and repent doesn't mean it won't be revealed when they face god. and i think god allows certain things to happen through the free will he gave to humans so they're disqualified from entering heaven due to being a righteous judge and not just a loving god.

there are laws reflected from god in life and if you break them clear consequences will appear to you and follow and permanently attach on you so you won't get away but when you think you successfully squirmed away god sees what you did and it'll be revealed on judgement day. so he has all the ones that have been wronged covered. i may be blinded by emotional bitterness that clamps my heart shut tight right now but i can't pretend i don't know that. to be honest i feel like there are lots of contradictions and what bothers me the most out of all of them is the quote "repent and i will forget everything and your slate will be white and clean as snow". it makes it sound like every sin is equal in god's eyes which i can't stand honestly. and that's why i keep backsliding and not let god come near me but i think satan tries really hard to prevent me from having a relationship with god because i know god knows what i've been through and he's not just going to let it slip no matter how much it seems like he's letting it slip. like i said, i don't know how he works but i do know he's not a god who's lax and lets everything go.

lol my head's throbbing typing so much but as perplexing it all is due to the apparent laws of god on this earth everything always points back to the originator with its roots. i think why there are third world countries is because historically traced back if you look in the bible it's said how god promised he'd make great prospering nations out of the prophets. ultimately to god the poorer the individual the more blessed they are. the ones that literally don't have anything not even the bible to direct them how to live the way god wants but god comes to the poor and guides them and they feel rich to have god and the holy spirit. rich materialistic people think they don't need god so they don't look for god. human beings will always be afflicted and have to struggle but god helps carry all of the weight of your burdens if you let him.

sorry for dragging out my response and my head's about to explode but suicide's a big thing. i've never gone so far as to attempt actually offing myself but it makes me happy to a strangely comforting degree to think about killing myself and dying. especially after finding out about this whole indescribably sick mk ultra thing. but i'm trying not to go there because whenever i fantasize about suicide demons come to screw with me and i get sleep paralysis. that tells me how bad the devil wants my soul. like i get unexplainable red scratches and marks on my body. i feel like god protects you but there are certain barriers you can go out of and one of those are thinking about how much you want to die because only the devil wants you to do that.
My... Thank you so much for sharing your honest feelings
I really hope the tiresome thoughts will leave you and that you will find peace. The fact that you take up the fight is already glorious of you
I can tell you out of my own experience, that once I had really dark and depressing time, although I always tried to be close to the God, that time, same as you, I couldn't totally open my heart to Him and didn't know how to pray, what to say... Generally I was a total chaos. But I've learned that we have to be unceasing and continuously ask God to help us open up to Him. It often takes a long time, but God really bestows His grace :) And how much He can change our lives is beyond words (I'm not trying to exaggerate anything, I simply mean it)

If you'd like to talk or discuss sth please feel free to write to me in priv ;) I'll gladly help as much as I can!
 






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seafood7

Rookie
Joined
Sep 24, 2019
Messages
36
honestly i don't consider myself a true christian because the definition of christian means that you humbly follow him while practicing his teachings and i'm not on the right track right now because i'm a chronic backslider. glad i know there ain't no white aryan jesus though because there just ain't. miss me with that blonde jesus is the loving lamb bs.

i love your theories. they're very interesting. most of the time i entertain my unstable depression demons by engaging in the dark neverending loop of metaolympics and nihilistic thoughts because it gives me false breathing room. i remember debating with my brother who was so up in god and studying/breathing scripture, etc all into it all the time i saw him but it'd be what i called apologetics christian metaolympics represented in his arguments. on the other hand my black pit adamant metaolympic logic would be only based on what the devil wants me to stay entrapped in. and whatever he'd tell me went out of my other ear because every time he tried to lecture/preach to me i'd be so fed up with him and the way he was always having his nose in the bible and it made me want to rip it up. not only would he study the word of god, he'd also study the quran and book of mormon just because. all the divided strange religious fruitcake ideologies and teachings he could get his hands on to counter them in roundabout debate. i'd make fun of him in my narrowminded head like i'd be all why does he even bother, what a weirdo. he pissed me off especially because "people all over the world are suffering and he does nothing but read the stupid bible and what have you as if that'll make the world a better place". now i know i was wrong to think that because no matter how far from god you are or what your religion is once you meet god and let him come into your heart none of it matters and as long as you're in him your ways will automatically be gradually corrected in a gentle loving way. no kind of any super secular drifted far off reasoning for why whatever anything is can stand against the body that's your vessel that he wants to occupy when you feel his real love. i see christians making fun of and hating on homosexuals but that's not how jesus is. you hear about hardcore homosexuals getting saved because they could feel his love even when they were in bondage to sodomy. there's nothing stronger than his love that condemns sin. no one individual is better than another because nobody's perfect.

and i suddenly want to cry as i type because i know i'm not in the best place right now to feel like i'm allowed to say all this like it's so hard for me to maintain my composure because i didn't think i had any more tears but they randomly flow out sometimes. i'm so jaded they dry quick. i'm so far from god right now i feel like my soul is heavily oppressed. i know he can help me but i'm stubborn and won't open my heart to him even though i know there's no hope except for him. i hate someone in my life and also hate myself. but it's hard to discredit god from the experiences i've had that i know are valid because i'm not the only one with these experiences. i've seen a demon close up right by the side of the bed during paralysis (not sleep paralysis i was fully awake and it didn't happen during my sleep it happened right as i was about to go to sleep after lying down) because of my rage and all of my questionable sins i indulged in. that's how i know spiritual warfare is real and hell is actually unimaginably more worse because that's where the demons are dancing michael jackson's moves all the time no those aren't michael jackson's moves they're the demons moves and it's lit over there. i heard demons dance like that in hell. let me tell you, when i saw that demon i had no power. i couldn't even keep looking away because it made me look it in the eyes. i literally thought i was going to die and go to hell. and i've never felt a hate so much intensely radiated before in a living thing my hate compared to its hate for me seemed like a joke. it only lasted for a moment and afterwards i didn't see the demon anymore but i was so petrified. i think that was god's way of showing me what i was really dangerously indulging in and how i was living however i wanted in a sinful lifestyle that attracts demons to feed off on my dark energy and most of all, that he didn't want me to live like that because he cares. and i know satan is real because mk ultra exists. that's the most satanic thing to ever be created and just like the abominable feces eating elite don't give a shit he doesn't care all he has is pure raw hate for humans and he'll use any sick twisted means he can to fuck us up that's how you know this isn't just a game we're in and how serious this shit is.

i don't buy what they say about sleep paralysis and deep down i only trust in god with how he works because not everything can be explained in the human point of view and he most likely sees the bigger picture and has the key. i feel like it's so easy to think he's just as glorified and screwed up in nature as satan is and on a power trip because we don't see how the pieces are being moved. heated secular atheists will criticize about how god's on a power trip saying believers only believe due to one thing, fear. especially fear of the unknown after death. when really satan's the one on a power trip. it's weird, every time i hear that i kind of laugh because i know it's not true. when i gave in to god and i could feel him in my presence i had no ounce of fear, depression, disassociation, sorrow, anger, anxiety, desire to sin, lacking energy, inproductivity, pessimism, nothing but peace and happiness and genuine curiosity about god the creator so i had the desire to read his word despite lingering on my past and not wanting to move on from something that happened to me when i was little because i remember it vividly after that memory became unrepressed and when it pops up which is frequently i just want to die. i was the same as my brother who i hated for doing what i just finally discovered then and when i opened the bible i'd read a few words and all i could do was cry the whole time for some reason i couldn't stop crying but i felt like my soul was being cleansed. the secret is you have to experience god curing you with his wonders yourself otherwise yeah, it's easy to be on that side. you'll constantly be stuck your whole life and in my case, never be able to get up on my feet.

honestly i'm so thankful you replied to me with what you said because at first when i all i did was lurk this thread i thought i would just keep lurking and that's it. you people aren't fake and are the realest quick witted bunch that are good at uncovering the sickeningly subtle and hidden meanings in all this esoteric mk ultra symbolism bull i feel lucky to talk to. though my brain hurts because of the higher understanding information overload (like what the actual fuck how do i know i'm not the clone of a human banana after i astral projected to find the best behaved monkeys to sacrifice in their sleep so i could be the #1 peeled clone of a banana it's too much for my tiny brain cells my forehead's gonna split) i'm glad i came out of my bubble a little even though i like to close myself off.

and i admit i have the same questions as you and to be honest i don't understand the way he works and the way he is at all. but the thing is there's always going to be back and forth metaolympics that support the mind's tendency of contorting this and that on any side of the debate. and i've never really delved into the word so i'm not the best one who can back god up with what little i know. what i won't do is totally discredit him because i'm the type to be like who are you? but then be like oh i know you. you're bffs with everyone! how nice is that! so i don't want anything to do with you! and pretend to hate him but i don't. i don't even go to church because imagine going to church with shady ass people and pedophiles. i've seen hypocritical pedos give sermons. and going to church only on sunday which is the pagans' sun worship day. god said to worship him always and pedos scrape at the bare minimum and pop in on sunday including celebrating all the pagan holidays in what's supposed to be the holy church revolving around god not events that give appreciation to the devil and for the rest of the other days in the week until sunday act the same as the atheists do. i feel like it's a commonly reveled spiritually fake jumbo fest. i tell myself all these things and that's how i shut god out but i don't lock the door on my heart even though i want to hate him so badly. at the end of the day he's in control and the one with the final authority who will be bringing judgement down on everybody that he made to have free will. and i think just because they go to church and repent doesn't mean it won't be revealed when they face god. and i think god allows certain things to happen through the free will he gave to humans so they're disqualified from entering heaven due to being a righteous judge and not just a loving god.

there are laws reflected from god in life and if you break them clear consequences will appear to you and follow and permanently attach on you so you won't get away but when you think you successfully squirmed away god sees what you did and it'll be revealed on judgement day. so he has all the ones that have been wronged covered. i may be blinded by emotional bitterness that clamps my heart shut tight right now but i can't pretend i don't know that. to be honest i feel like there are lots of contradictions and what bothers me the most out of all of them is the quote "repent and i will forget everything and your slate will be white and clean as snow". it makes it sound like every sin is equal in god's eyes which i can't stand honestly. and that's why i keep backsliding and not let god come near me but i think satan tries really hard to prevent me from having a relationship with god because i know god knows what i've been through and he's not just going to let it slip no matter how much it seems like he's letting it slip. like i said, i don't know how he works but i do know he's not a god who's lax and lets everything go.

lol my head's throbbing typing so much but as perplexing it all is due to the apparent laws of god on this earth everything always points back to the originator with its roots. i think why there are third world countries is because historically traced back if you look in the bible it's said how god promised he'd make great prospering nations out of the prophets. ultimately to god the poorer the individual the more blessed they are. the ones that literally don't have anything not even the bible to direct them how to live the way god wants but god comes to the poor and guides them and they feel rich to have god and the holy spirit. rich materialistic people think they don't need god so they don't look for god. human beings will always be afflicted and have to struggle but god helps carry all of the weight of your burdens if you let him.

sorry for dragging out my response and my head's about to explode but suicide's a big thing. i've never gone so far as to attempt actually offing myself but it makes me happy to a strangely comforting degree to think about killing myself and dying. especially after finding out about this whole indescribably sick mk ultra thing. but i'm trying not to go there because whenever i fantasize about suicide demons come to screw with me and i get sleep paralysis. that tells me how bad the devil wants my soul. like i get unexplainable red scratches and marks on my body. i feel like god protects you but there are certain barriers you can go out of and one of those are thinking about how much you want to die because only the devil wants you to do that.
The religion is highly corrupted. If you read the Bible there's a lot of cruelness from God himself. If everything works as it said in Bible than our life is pointless. I really believe it is mostly fiction and you should look at it as at fairytale or just a book where you can find something interesting for you. I've never met truly right and kind religion people. They are always in fear they'll do something wrong and will be punished. They always judge others even if they say the don't. Religion gives a lot of fear and it is nothing different than monarchy that was for hundreds of years on this planet - there's a king and If you don't pray for him or trust him you're out. The God (creator) exists, I belive but he/she/it has nothing in common with any religion. Why women made smart if our destiny is just push out the babies?? Why I should be always afraid that I'll do something wrong and if I will not pray I'll be in hell. We are here to learn on our mistakes, this is life. It is not easy, we are placed in this cruel world to go out own way. Satanists do exist, they pray for the God of this world to get the power or money, the are sick souls. Don't overanalyze it, you have your own way, just do what you think right without this fear of being punished, be a nice person, help those who need help. The system those people were born (satanic families) or they chose - it is their way, not yours. I fell sad for them but you unable to do anything with that. Just enjoy the life right now, you won't go in a better place struggling, I don't think it works like this. This world is auful but there's still a lot of beautiful things, the nature, some people, love. God put you in this place to feel all that, so just live. Crying over how cruel this planet won't help them and won't help you. As I said this is their way I belive. Your way is not be part of the evil in this world and teach others to stay away from it when you can. I wish you good luck and be healthy
 






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