Yeah I’d you told your daughter to obey your son I think that would be a bit weird. I think you are arguing about power and control and not love like Christ taught, simple as that. If you want to argue from a Christian basis, Christ said he had only one teaching which was love. What does love imply? Sacrifice, transcending the I self, benevolence, respect for another’s will, can you say you love someone if you don’t respect their will, or they love you if they don’t respect yours. The only problem you are describing is how relations without love are failures. If you say someone doesn’t love you because they don’t follow your commands, I think again you are misunderstanding that one underlying concept. You see God as a power, a controller, and you project that into relations but power only comes in when love is absent, to replace what it would fulfil at a lower level, power instead of cooperation etc.