Marriage or singledom for Christians - which is the better option?

[JoChris]

Lisa made an interesting comment here:

God created man and then because He said its not good for man to be alone He created woman and He created women to be the man’s helper and He also made a woman able to bear children, seems to me that He wants men and women to be together and that women have kids and raise them. I don’t see how I’m wrong there.

How do you answer the apostle Paul's recommendation for people to remain single in 1 Corinthians 7?

1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.....

6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I....

32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.

The other verses balance the above PRO-single position for people who wish to be married (unlike Paul).

 

[Axl888]

God gave us all free will and both options have their own guidelines according to the Bible. One should choose wisely, I guess.

 

[Lisa]

First Paul writes that

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7:2‬ ‭
But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband.​

He is for marriage between man and woman, and he is against polygamy or what we have now throuples...two women marrying one man.

He also says this which I think is about his being single..

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7:6-7‬ ‭
But this I say by way of concession, not of command. Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.​

And the reason he thinks that is he thinks single people like him would be more devoted to God..which if priests or nuns are any indication...that doesn’t work out. You might say well they aren’t really Christians, can we use them as an example, idk, would Christians be any different?

Because like I said, Adam was lonely so God made him a helper. Adam who knew God and saw Him face to face was lonely. So God made for him a helper. The helper who also is able to have kids because God wanted people to populate the earth as well and singles couldn’t populate the earth by them selves for a very long time. And even though we can through science populate the earth singular, you still need a sperm and an egg...so I would say there is more in the Bible about being married than being single.

Genesis‬ ‭1:28‬ ‭
God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”​

‭‭

 

[Lisa]

Genesis‬ ‭2:18‬ ‭
Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”​

‭‭
If God thinks it’s not good..than it’s not good don’t ya think?

 

[Robin]

Genesis‬ ‭2:18‬ ‭​

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”​

‭‭
If God thinks it’s not good..than it’s not good don’t ya think?

You don't think the world in the genesis story is vastly different to Paul's time not to mention ours?

 

[Dalit]

Lots of people in the Bible were single: Jesus, Paul, Barnabas, Jeremiah, Anna (widowed), Lydia, Dorcas, Elijah, probably Elisha, John the Baptist, Daniel, the Ethiopian eunuch, etc. Paul couldn't have spread the gospel as far with a wife. He also worked full time making tents so as not to mooch off the churches.

It's a valid and appropriate path.

1 Corinthians 7:7: Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35: But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.

Matthew 19:10-12 (after divorce statement with only adultery as grounds): The disciples said to Him, "If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry."
But He said to them, "Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it."

Psalm 86:11 (NIV): Teach me Your way, LORD, that I may rely on Your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear Your name.

 

[Lisa]

You don't think the world in the genesis story is vastly different to Paul's time not to mention ours?

God doesn’t change..

Hebrews‬ ‭13:8‬ ‭
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.​

‭‭

 

[Lisa]

1 Corinthians 7:7: Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am.

He wishes that all men were like himself but he doesn’t say all men should be like himself. And I think that goes back to God saying it’s not good for man to be alone, honestly. Yes people can be divided when in relationships and families but then again I’m married, have kids and am devoted to God, so it’s not always the singles that will be the most devoted to God.

But He said to them, "Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it."

Sure, but God did intend for man and woman to be with one another because a.) it’s not good for man to be alone and b.) to be fruitful and multiply.

Psalm 86:11 (NIV): Teach me Your way, LORD, that I may rely on Your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear Your name.

Whether married or single I think God’s goal in the life of any believer is an undivided heart with God being first in all believers lives.

 

[Robin]

God doesn’t change..

Hebrews‬ ‭13:8‬ ‭​

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.​

‭‭

But the world and people do.

 

[Lisa]

But the world and people do.

Well in this case...the world moves further away from God and lawlessness increases and when lawlessness increases then God’s ways are left behind, doesn’t mean that He doesn’t want people to live like that.

 

[Robin]

Well in this case...the world moves further away from God and lawlessness increases and when lawlessness increases then God’s ways are left behind, doesn’t mean that He doesn’t want people to live like that.

But again how does this help people in the here and now? The bitter truth is that the number of people looking for anything traditional is VERY low. You can't expect them to still maintain marriage as an ideal when the modern dating scene and dating pool are all working against that ideal. It makes no damn sense. There is nothing wrong with choosing to stay single. And there is nothing wrong with focusing on other areas of life which are just as important.

 

[Lisa]

And there is nothing wrong with focusing on other areas of life which are just as important.

What’s more important than a family?

 

[Dalit]

What’s more important than a family?

Making disciples is more important than having a family (Matthew 28:19). Maybe focus on the family of God, His Bride, matters more than being a bride. Just a thought.

I'm not saying singleness is better, but it is a valid life, a calling even, and you exalt marriage. Neither should be exalted. Both are gifts from God. The church as a whole exalts marriage. The conditioning is strong.

 

[Lisa]

Making disciples is more important than having a family (Matthew 28:19).

Somehow I don’t think Robin will have the same answer.

Maybe focus on the family of God, His Bride, matters more than being a bride. Just a thought.

I'm not saying singleness is better, but it is a valid life, a calling even, and you exalt marriage. Neither should be exalted. Both are gifts from God. The church as a whole exalts marriage. The conditioning is strong.

Marriage is a holy institution, God ordained it since the beginning with Adam and Eve and just because people think it’s too hard nowadays to have it be highly thought of doesn’t mean that’s true.

In fact it’s such a big deal that Jesus tells us that people will still be marrying in the tribulation

Matthew‬ ‭24:37-38‬ ‭
For the coming of the Son of Man will be just like the days of Noah. For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark.​

‭‭

 

[Dalit]

Somehow I don’t think Robin will have the same answer.


Marriage is a holy institution, God ordained it since the beginning with Adam and Eve and just because people think it’s too hard nowadays to have it be highly thought of doesn’t mean that’s true.

In fact it’s such a big deal that Jesus tells us that people will still be marrying in the tribulation

Matthew‬ ‭24:37-38‬ ‭​

For the coming of the Son of Man will be just like the days of Noah. For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark.​

‭‭

Marrying in the tribulation, when they should be more concerned about the coming of the Lord mostly and not so much about their wedding nights perhaps?

It's a reference to being in the days of Noah and being unprepared for the judgment of God coming upon the earth. Matthew 24 also says "pray that your flight might not be in winter" and that it'll be really tough on nursing mothers. Men will pray for rocks to fall on them so they can hide from God and their hearts will fail them for fear.

It could be sooner than anyone realizes. A friend of mine's husband thinks it could be 2030. Even though I didn't ask for this gift of singleness and wanted the other more promoted gift, I plan to no longer whine about being single but start really living for God. If the days are truly getting shorter, that's the best use of my time anyway. . Plus, if it's true that I might have prophetic gifting which a few have told me, NARly people and regular charismatic or Spirit-filled people, then it's about a 50/50 chance I'll be single like Jeremiah. People tend to despise and even ridicule God's real prophets. Talk about another gift no one should ever want. It's not so bad

 

[Vytas]

Better ? Neither is better, neither is wrong or right...Simply different.
Paul is probably having in mind those who are going to give their whole life to serving. For those people single life might be better option. But for casual person...Since NT seems to be finished, world might survive few lost extra hours everyday.

 

[Lisa]

Marrying in the tribulation, when they should be more concerned about the coming of the Lord mostly and not so much about their wedding nights perhaps?

It's a reference to being in the days of Noah and being unprepared for the judgment of God coming upon the earth. Matthew 24 also says "pray that your flight might not be in winter" and that it'll be really tough on nursing mothers. Men will pray for rocks to fall on them so they can hide from God and their hearts will fail them for fear.

Sure, but there will still be marriage until the end.

I plan to no longer whine about being single but start really living for God.

What does that mean?

Plus, if it's true that I might have prophetic gifting which a few have told me,

Why do people think you have that gifting?

 

[Vytas]

Marrying in the tribulation, when they should be more concerned about the coming of the Lord mostly and not so much about their wedding nights perhaps?

It's a reference to being in the days of Noah and being unprepared for the judgment of God coming upon the earth. Matthew 24 also says "pray that your flight might not be in winter" and that it'll be really tough on nursing mothers. Men will pray for rocks to fall on them so they can hide from God and their hearts will fail them for fear.

It could be sooner than anyone realizes. A friend of mind's husband thinks it could be 2030. Even though I didn't ask for this gift of singleness and wanted the other more promoted gift, I plan to no longer whine about being single but start really living for God. If the days are truly getting shorter, that's the best use of my time anyway. . Plus, if it's true that I might have prophetic gifting which a few have told me, NARly people and regular charismatic or Spirit-filled people, then it's about a 50/50 chance I'll be single like Jeremiah. People tend to despise and even ridicule God's real prophets. Talk about another gift no one should ever want. It's not so bad

There is 50/50 chance you are just having fun here. That better be true. Or there is 50/50 you are serious...

 

[Dalit]

There is 50/50 chance you are just having fun here. That better be true. Or there is 50/50 you are serious...

Both.

 

[Vytas]

Both.

Good...To be honest I freaked out