Marriage or singledom for Christians - which is the better option?

[Robin]

What’s more important than a family?

Taking care of my family (which does not have to include a husband and kids), being with my friends, personal growth, travelling before the world completely goes off it's rocker. Idk. Go ask all the people who regret having families if there was nothing else they'd rather have done. But the fact that you believe in the tribulation and still think that in the midst of all of that (increased evil, persecution, day as they were in the time of Lot and Noah, the anti-Christ and all that jazz), marriage and creating a family is still somehow the greatest calling even for non-believers is laughable. And that you compare what it used to mean and be like to the way the world is now. You have an extremely warped view of the world.

 

[JoChris]

Genesis‬ ‭2:18‬ ‭​

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”​

‭‭
If God thinks it’s not good..than it’s not good don’t ya think?

It depends on each person's situation.
If it is essential for a person to get married to please God, why didn't Jesus get married?

God doesn’t change..

Hebrews‬ ‭13:8‬ ‭​

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.​

‭‭

Using that logic, if God never changes (therefore his commandments would stay the same), shouldn't Christians be following the many rituals and laws given to the Old Testament Jews as well?

 

[JoChris]

But again how does this help people in the here and now? The bitter truth is that the number of people looking for anything traditional is VERY low. You can't expect them to still maintain marriage as an ideal when the modern dating scene and dating pool are all working against that ideal. It makes no damn sense. There is nothing wrong with choosing to stay single. And there is nothing wrong with focusing on other areas of life which are just as important.

It certainly seems like no-one wants marriage in a traditional sense these days.
Now modern society has accepted sex with no strings attached as "normal", a major incentive to get married in first place has disappeared.

 

[Robin]

It certainly seems like no-one wants marriage in a traditional sense these days.
Now modern society has accepted sex with no strings attached as "normal", a major incentive to get married in first place has disappeared.

Exactly. I find a lot of my friends rushed into toxic relationships just because they were terrified of being alone. It's sad that's what this world has come to but it's just the way it is. It's easy for someone like @Lisa to talk about it the way she does because she isn't single. She doesn't know what "the market" is like right now. I just wish she'd be a bit more generous in her stubborn refusal to look at anything from an alternative perspective.

 

[JoChris]

Exactly. I find a lot of my friends rushed into toxic relationships just because they were terrified of being alone. It's sad that's what this world has come to but it's just the way it is. It's easy for someone like @Lisa to talk about it the way she does because she isn't single. She doesn't know what "the market" is like right now. I just wish she'd be a bit more generous in her stubborn refusal to look at anything from an alternative perspective.

In a perfect world (without sin) marriage would be guaranteed to be happy and a blessing from God.
In principle I agree with Lisa. The majority of adults should be married.
In reality there are many difficulties in getting married and staying married for multiple reasons.

Marriage has a lot of difficulties that single people don't understand until they too get married. Even in the happiest marriages it means you can never "do your own thing" any more, you have to consider your spouse every time.

 

[Lisa]

Taking care of my family (which does not have to include a husband and kids), being with my friends, personal growth, travelling before the world completely goes off it's rocker. Idk. Go ask all the people who regret having families if there was nothing else they'd rather have done. But the fact that you believe in the tribulation and still think that in the midst of all of that (increased evil, persecution, day as they were in the time of Lot and Noah, the anti-Christ and all that jazz), marriage and creating a family is still somehow the greatest calling even for non-believers is laughable. And that you compare what it used to mean and be like to the way the world is now. You have an extremely warped view of the world.

Or maybe I just believe that nothing is impossible for God. Ya, the world is messed up, ya things aren’t that simple but the world has always been messed up and the world has never been that simple whether or not the tribulation was coming, life has never been normal as CS Lewis said once. Actually it was normal until Adam and Eve disobeyed God and then since then not.

But the world goes on and people get married anyway, they have babies anyway and they live their lives anyway. And God is still God who can and will help you with your problems....that is the difference.

I didn’t want to have kids because of the tribulation and I didn’t want to live my life because of the tribulation but God convinced me otherwise. I didn’t have a happy marriage but God changed what my marriage was to what my marriage is. So I know that you can have a bad marriage and God can transform it, I’m not talking about something I know nothing about. Yep, there’s challenges to finding someone but I truly believe God can help find someone and it won’t be perfect but God can transform it. That is why I don’t discount anything...I’ve seen God work in my own life...and no God doesn’t transform people quickly, you will have to hold on and believe God can do it, that’s just the way it is and even then you learn a lot about God.

 

[Lisa]

It depends on each person's situation.
If it is essential for a person to get married to please God, why didn't Jesus get married?

You would agree that that wasn’t His mission? He had a different mission, to seek and save the lost.
Plus who could be married to God? Even Mary didn’t conceive in the normal way because that’s not how God is with humans.

Using that logic, if God never changes (therefore his commandments would stay the same), shouldn't Christians be following the many rituals and laws given to the Old Testament Jews as well?

There should if Jesus hadn’t come and been the once for all sacrifice. You might then say that He changed things..all He changed was there is a once for all sacrifice, there was always a sacrifice for sin.

 

[Lisa]

Exactly. I find a lot of my friends rushed into toxic relationships just because they were terrified of being alone. It's sad that's what this world has come to but it's just the way it is. It's easy for someone like @Lisa to talk about it the way she does because she isn't single. She doesn't know what "the market" is like right now. I just wish she'd be a bit more generous in her stubborn refusal to look at anything from an alternative perspective.

I think the market as you call it has always been iffy, people are sinners, how could it be otherwise? It’s not the people that my hope is in but my hope is in God. The God who loved people enough to save them from His punishment for sin. He took that punishment on Himself and offers us grace in return. Not only does He do that...His help doesn’t stop there, He will continue to help us in our lives and make our lives better and that also includes what people think as non Christian..your wants and desires.
@Dalit brought up that those desires should just be living for God..though she might not have been serious about that, but living for God isn’t what people may think at first. I think living for God is His being first in your life and you can’t do that on your own, God helps you with that when He begins a new creation in you, your wants and desires change to things that God would call good..marriage, children. How do I know this? Because it’s happened to me.

 

[Lisa]

Even in the happiest marriages it means you can never "do your own thing" any more, you have to consider your spouse every time.

That’s not so bad is it? It’s not good for people to be selfish but give to one another and compromise.

In a perfect world (without sin) marriage would be guaranteed to be happy and a blessing from God.
In principle I agree with Lisa. The majority of adults should be married.
In reality there are many difficulties in getting married and staying married for multiple reasons.

The world has only been perfect once and that all changed in the garden and it hasn’t been perfect since but that doesn’t mean that marriage and babies are wrong. God didn’t change His mind on that...He made Adam a helper who could also bear children that was no accident or just a garden of eden thing. God wanted men and women to be together and have children together, that’s the greatest thing we can do together.

Doesn’t mean it’s easy or should be easy. Life was never meant to be lived without God. Without God..life is bad but with a good God, life can never stay that way.

 

[justjess]

I think the market as you call it has always been iffy, people are sinners, how could it be otherwise? It’s not the people that my hope is in but my hope is in God. The God who loved people enough to save them from His punishment for sin. He took that punishment on Himself and offers us grace in return. Not only does He do that...His help doesn’t stop there, He will continue to help us in our lives and make our lives better and that also includes what people think as non Christian..your wants and desires.
@Dalit brought up that those desires should just be living for God..though she might not have been serious about that, but living for God isn’t what people may think at first. I think living for God is His being first in your life and you can’t do that on your own, God helps you with that when He begins a new creation in you, your wants and desires change to things that God would call good..marriage, children. How do I know this? Because it’s happened to me.

What about infertile people? What about widows? What about women who’s husbands can’t work? They are disabled etc.

And I think it’s pretty clear that marriage and children is considered the second best option in Paul’s opinion - with celibate devotion to god being the first.

 

[Lisa]

What about infertile people? What about widows? What about women who’s husbands can’t work? They are disabled etc.

And I think it’s pretty clear that marriage and children is considered the second best option in Paul’s opinion - with celibate devotion to god being the first.

And I think that was only Paul’s opinion not God’s command.

 

[Robin]

Or maybe I just believe that nothing is impossible for God. Ya, the world is messed up, ya things aren’t that simple but the world has always been messed up and the world has never been that simple whether or not the tribulation was coming, life has never been normal as CS Lewis said once. Actually it was normal until Adam and Eve disobeyed God and then since then not.

But the world goes on and people get married anyway, they have babies anyway and they live their lives anyway. And God is still God who can and will help you with your problems....that is the difference.

I didn’t want to have kids because of the tribulation and I didn’t want to live my life because of the tribulation but God convinced me otherwise. I didn’t have a happy marriage but God changed what my marriage was to what my marriage is. So I know that you can have a bad marriage and God can transform it, I’m not talking about something I know nothing about. Yep, there’s challenges to finding someone but I truly believe God can help find someone and it won’t be perfect but God can transform it. That is why I don’t discount anything...I’ve seen God work in my own life...and no God doesn’t transform people quickly, you will have to hold on and believe God can do it, that’s just the way it is and even then you learn a lot about God.

Yeah, again not everyone believes in God or the same God you do and the world is getting progressively worse. But ok, let's take a young Christian single for example: what are the chances of them finding someone that fills those requirements in today's day and age? I remember reading a study once that said an upwards of 90% of men in the church study they conducted admitted to either having been or still being addicted to pornography. That's enough to tell you that your religion doesn't exempt people from being people and still suffering from whatever the rest of the world does that could hinder their relationships. I'm not trying to demean what you believe God did for you in your life and marriage, if you perceive he came through for you then I'm no position to question anyone's testimony. But that doesn't happen for the vast majority of people. Your example doesn't serve as some standard for everyone else's relationships and approach to singleness. People are still marrying and having kids . . . You're on a conspiracy forum Lisa surely you see how bad society is getting in multiple aspects. People having kids doesn't mean the world's not getting worse, just that most either dont care or dont see it.

I think the market as you call it has always been iffy, people are sinners, how could it be otherwise? It’s not the people that my hope is in but my hope is in God. The God who loved people enough to save them from His punishment for sin. He took that punishment on Himself and offers us grace in return. Not only does He do that...His help doesn’t stop there, He will continue to help us in our lives and make our lives better and that also includes what people think as non Christian..your wants and desires.
@Dalit brought up that those desires should just be living for God..though she might not have been serious about that, but living for God isn’t what people may think at first. I think living for God is His being first in your life and you can’t do that on your own, God helps you with that when He begins a new creation in you, your wants and desires change to things that God would call good..marriage, children. How do I know this? Because it’s happened to me.

Not everyone is a Christian and Christianity is dying in the west anyway. I'm not saying that to offend you or anyone but it's true, at least if you count out the televangical showmen and their brand of lies.

And I think that was only Paul’s opinion not God’s command.

So where in the NT does God command people to marry and have kids?

 

[Lisa]

Yeah, again not everyone believes in God or the same God you do and the world is getting progressively worse. But ok, let's take a young Christian single for example: what are the chances of them finding someone that fills those requirements in today's day and age? I remember reading a study once that said an upwards of 90% of men in the church study they conducted admitted to either having been or still being addicted to pornography. That's enough to tell you that your religion doesn't exempt people from being people and still suffering from whatever the rest of the world does that could hinder their relationships. I'm not trying to demean what you believe God did for you in your life and marriage, if you perceive he came through for you then I'm no position to question anyone's testimony. But that doesn't happen for the vast majority of people. Your example doesn't serve as some standard for everyone else's relationships and approach to singleness. People are still marrying and having kids . . . You're on a conspiracy forum Lisa surely you see how bad society is getting in multiple aspects. People having kids doesn't mean the world's not getting worse, just that most either dont care or dont see it.

Sure, I understand that not everyone believes in God or I should say the God of the Bible.
Yep, I agree great the world is getting progressively worse, but there is still a good God so all is not hopeless.
My niece just got married earlier this year to a nice Christian man...it can be done.
Church folk are still sinners being sanctified by God..they don’t become perfect when saved but God World in their lives daily to sanctify them and He will continue doing that all our lives.
He did come throug for me Robin!
I just meant that people getting married and having kids means that life still goes on whether or not it’s bad out there...hope is still in the world and I think that’s a good thing.

Not everyone is a Christian and Christianity is dying in the west anyway. I'm not saying that to offend you or anyone but it's true, at least if you count out the televangical showmen and their brand of lies.

Ya I know less people are actual Christians nowadays and apostasy abounds, you aren’t offending me by bringing that up.

So where in the NT does God command people to marry and have kids?

Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. He doesn’t change with the times. Marriage and children are God’s ideal for us and that never changes.

 

[Robin]

Sure, I understand that not everyone believes in God or I should say the God of the Bible.
Yep, I agree great the world is getting progressively worse, but there is still a good God so all is not hopeless.
My niece just got married earlier this year to a nice Christian man...it can be done.
Church folk are still sinners being sanctified by God..they don’t become perfect when saved but God World in their lives daily to sanctify them and He will continue doing that all our lives.
He did come throug for me Robin!
I just meant that people getting married and having kids means that life still goes on whether or not it’s bad out there...hope is still in the world and I think that’s a good thing.


Ya I know less people are actual Christians nowadays and apostasy abounds, you aren’t offending me by bringing that up.



Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. He doesn’t change with the times. Marriage and children are God’s ideal for us and that never changes.

If you recognise that many people don't believe in God then you can't use your faith and his intervention as a way to support marriage in this day and age. Congrats to your niece though, I really do wish them the best.

Don't things get even worse according to your beliefs though? So for people that don't believe in God that means there is no hope anyway.

But Jesus didn't advocate marriage as a command. If I remember correctly he only brought it up in a response to a question about divorce. God doesn't say anything about it in the NT.

 

[Lisa]

If you recognise that many people don't believe in God then you can't use your faith and his intervention as a way to support marriage in this day and age. Congrats to your niece though, I really do wish them the best.

Thank you!
Just because people don’t believe doesn’t mean that’s not the way life is supposed to go. And I think that because anyone can believe at any time means that God’s intervention can always happen.

Don't things get even worse according to your beliefs though? So for people that don't believe in God that means there is no hope anyway.

Yep, life will get worse, so bad that it will be the worst time that has ever been on the earth. There is always hope because people can still believe in God, that doesn’t get taken away, I can see hopelessness without that though.

But Jesus didn't advocate marriage as a command. If I remember correctly he only brought it up in a response to a question about divorce. God doesn't say anything about it in the NT.

Paul talks about marriage in the NT in the roles wives and husbands are to play in marriage, so marriage is still on in the NT.
The only thing the NT actually did was to change the sacrifice from animals and everyday to Jesus the once for all sacrifice for sins.

 

[Aero]

Marriage for sure. But you need to find the right person.

These days a lot of relationships are distractions at best. Plus I would go so far as to say that humanity has turned the dating game into a type of escapism. I mean what better way to ignore your own problems than to focus on someone else's?

Of course, I've never been the type to be critical of everything. And I wouldn't want a partner who does.

 

[Lisa]

Marriage for sure. But you need to find the right person.

These days a lot of relationships are distractions at best. Plus I would go so far as to say that humanity has turned the dating game into a type of escapism. I mean what better way to ignore your own problems than to focus on someone else's?

Of course, I've never been the type to be critical of everything. And I wouldn't want a partner who does.

You aren’t going to find anyone without problems though.

 

[Todd]

And I think that was only Paul’s opinion not God’s command.

What? I thought the bible was the literal word of God? Paul inserted his opinion into the Bible? Oh my LOL!

 

[Lisa]

What? I thought the bible was the literal word of God? Paul inserted his opinion into the Bible? Oh my LOL!

He said he did so no one would get the wrong opinion of what he said and God didn’t seem to mind since its in there.

 

[Todd]

He said he did so no one would get the wrong opinion of what he said and God didn’t seem to mind since its in there.

LOL! That is just plain riduculous. Paul or any of the other authors of Bible likely never even imagined what they were writing was going to become the Bible. But the omnipotent, omniscient creator of the Universe who supposedly protects his word and made sure there is no error, mistranslations, or additions to the his word, "didn't mind" that Paul inserted his own personal opinion? Seriously?