On the surface there was not an obvious sin like adultery that would have had made the church's decision easier.
Yes, obvious
visible sins, would make it easier to decide who to discipline. I can't imagine most adulterers are out in the open about their sin, so it winds up being a matter of who is dumb enough to get caught.
Sometimes people just have prickly personalities (I approached them like that until towards the end).
For the general picture, think Ned Flanders with a very disagreeable personality and then lying by omission when confronted.
They were armchair critics of how things are run but they didn't want to actively help out at the church.
The husband thought because he had more formal secular qualifications that meant he knew more than the pastor about everything, including doctrine.
They were very judgemental of church members who did not get actively involved in local politics. They were an older couple with no kids at home any more. The wife really offended some women with her snobbishness.
I recognised from the outset that they were "fake nice" personalities. Some people just care too much about what other people think and it shows. I only shared personal information in general chit-chat with the wife I am happy to share with just about anyone. Other women must not have had that detector and so the wife deeply hurt several women who had troubles with children for various reasons.
It all added up to the point it was causing division and a hesitancy to be open with each other in case of what the couple might say/ do next.
Ok, i see, thanks for the examples.
We were not at any of the churches long enough to see full blown church discipline, but these are some examples of things i saw publicly chastised before the congregation.
- "fat shaming", multiple comments about a churchgoer being a sinful glutton because he was very overweight. This one annoys me because it's very well possible to be a glutton and not show it outwardly if one just pigs out on veggies - same constant urge to stuff one's face but none of the physical evidence.
- shamed for not wearing a suit. NOWHERE does the Bible say men are required to wear a 3 piece suit. Im not saying show up in shorts, pajamas or sandals, but how is business casual not acceptable? As "proof" the pastor gave Gen35:2 "Then Jacob said unto his household, and to all that were with him, Put away the strange gods that are among you, and be clean, and change your garments", which seems less relevant than not treating the rich better than the poor.
- it was a sin to go to the movies, or watch tv. While this may be wise, how is this biblical and not just a personal conviction issue?
- it is a sin to dress in "rock and roll fashion", meaning a fur fringe on a jacket or leather/imitation leather.
- it is sinful to drive a sports car because it's "immodest", yet most of the churchgoers at this particular church drove luxury cars
And so on.
Since i don't have a confrontational personality, i wouldn't stick around to be disciplined and instead would just choose to voluntarily leave...