I have DID, AMA

[Trenton]

Ever thought about using your abilities against the vile sadists who abused the child that became your home? Can't think of a better target for a flying brick than a SRA-handler.

I wasn't in cult. Ffs I was abused by my actual redneck ass family who were high on drugs almost 24/7

I did hurt them sometimes, so you know. It only got me deeper into shit and usually locked in my room for weeks on end.

My parents are very aware I'm able to use telekinesis. But the bad part is, it's not something I can accurately control, like anyone else who can do it.

If I could use telekinesis at my discretion don't you think I'd be world famous and shit? Or kidnapped by the CIA tbh.

 

[Trenton]

What things did he spoke of? And what was the weird shit you found?

Books and papers mostly, which seemed weird and I didn't understand them at the time.

He was a doctor, back in the days when doctors did house calls. In a small rural town.

Some of the paperwork was about how to run a family. How to structure conversations and influence certain values that if not commonly held in the household, how you can mold them to better suit a "conducive environment".

On the surface it all seemed mundane to me at the time, etiquette sort of stuff.

But after learning more about how fucking weird Americans are and the goals of mass mind control post WW1 became, these 'strange yet innocuous' papers of my grandfather's make more sense retroactively.

My dad fought in ww2, and he wasn't a mason or anything. In fact he was actually against a lot of the stuff he would talk with his buddies about over drinks and stuff. They'd always be going on about Nazis and shit and rumors about the military housing Nazi defectors here in America. Stuff like that. I was like 9-10 years old so I didn't really understand what they were talking about or what made my dad so upset about it all.

 

[NewOnThisSite]

I wasn't in cult. Ffs I was abused by my actual redneck ass family who were high on drugs almost 24/7

Haven't "you" said your biological father was a Satanist:

https://vigilantcitizenforums.com/threads/i-have-did-ama.2067/page-4#post-75262

I am well aware, that I am probably talking now with a different alter, I understand. But still, was the father biological father of "the body" a Satanist, redneck or both?

I must admit, have trouble imagining a redneck occultist. Most of them seem to be at least middle class. All those Thelemite books and stuff aren't cheap.

 

[Trenton]

Haven't "you" said your biological father was a Satanist:

https://vigilantcitizenforums.com/threads/i-have-did-ama.2067/page-4#post-75262

I am well aware, that I am probably talking now with a different alter, I understand. But still, was the father biological father of "the body" a Satanist, redneck or both?

I must admit, have trouble imagining a redneck occultist. Most of them seem to be at least middle class. All those Thelemite books and stuff aren't cheap.

A Satanist doesn't need to belong to a cult or have a million dollars or a 401k plan.

My dad has an inverted pentagram tatooted to his left hand. I'm pretty 100% positive he chose to do that. He gave it to himself. (It's really well done, he was a great tattoo artist)

My parents weren't even middle class. We we're dirt poor. My mother practiced witchcraft, my dad was clearly alleged to the devil, and I was a small child not being taken care of.

I don't remember being put through any sort of satanic rituals. I don't know much about my father, he suffered a TBI when I was 7 so he's what he is now. Severely brain damaged, living homeless somewhere in Bangor.

But it wasn't great either I remember when I was 11 for inexplicable reasons, branding my skin with inverted crosses and trying to sell my soul to the devil.

No one told me to do it, I was just in a trance.

 

[NewOnThisSite]

Severely brain damaged, living homeless somewhere in Bangor.

I must admit, I automatically imagined dark masses deep down under a Masonic lodge filled to the brim with Monarch symbolism and high ranking p***phile state politicians with hoodies.

Looks like this stuff can be a lot less "glamorous" in real life.

You said you're transgender, right? Biologically female to male? That's interesting because... you are not one person. Have they all agreed to it? Is it because most of the alters are male, and they wanted a male body?

 

[Trenton]

I must admit, I automatically imagined dark masses deep down under a Masonic lodge filled to the brim with Monarch symbolism and high ranking p***phile state politicians with hoodies.

Looks like this stuff can be a lot less "glamorous" in real life.

You said you're transgender, right? Biologically female to male? That's interesting because... you are not one person. Have they all agreed to it? Is it because most of the alters are male, and they wanted a male body?

I mean I'm sure there are rich families and actual cult type shit going on for unfortunate people out there but not me.

I'm not exactly Transgender anyway, I'm intersex. I have no idea what it feels like to be transgender.

When I was born I was assigned female because, regardless of someone has "disorder of sex development" they choose a gender for you based on your anatomy and what they figure you'll be able to live best as.

As I grew up, I felt like a boy regardless. I've never NOT felt like a male.

All of my alters are male, so of course we all want to live as a male, look like a male, and be treated as a male.

I don't know why some people with DID have opposite sex alters, but usually it's from sexual abuse I'm guessing.

I also don't know what makes Transgender people feel like they do.

What exactly is it that our bodies and brains say 'im a man or I'm a woman'

It's not cut and dry like our genitalia or chromosomes show.

Maybe transgender people are mentally ill. I would hope they aren't.

But I just -am- a man. Androgynous, but still a man.

 

[NewOnThisSite]

I did hurt them sometimes, so you know. It only got me deeper into shit and usually locked in my room for weeks on end.

My parents are very aware I'm able to use telekinesis. But the bad part is, it's not something I can accurately control, like anyone else who can do it.

What was their reaction seeing those powers in you? Were they freaked out? Given that they dabbled in the occult: Were they proud of you on some level? Did they take it as a proof of their witchcraft?

 

[Trenton]

What was their reaction seeing those powers in you? Were they freaked out? Given that they dabbled in the occult: Were they proud of you on some level? Did they take it as a proof of their witchcraft?

My mom was "proud".

I know next to nothing about how my father sees me.

 

[NewOnThisSite]

My mom was "proud".

I know next to nothing about how my father sees me.

Did she realize that your abilities were due the abuse? Or did she saw your abilities as a result of her witch-activities?

 

[Trenton]

Did she realize that your abilities were due the abuse? Or did she saw your abilities as a result of her witch-activities?

She's insane so I doubt she thinks it was because of abuse.

I'm not so sure it's because of abuse myself.

I mean, I was abused but I think people have a natural propensity for telekenisis.

At any rate she probably chalked it up to us being "special" genetically or something. Since she is psychic, it's not a surprise to her than I am too. Those "gifts" are handed down through DNA.

 

[NewOnThisSite]

I'm not so sure it's because of abuse myself.

Supernatural abilities in people with DID is something I've heard before. That's why I take your claims seriously, in opposite to most people I guess.

Here's some interesting info from a German site about Monarch, put through Google translate and some editing for clarifications:

http://www.wahrheitssuche.org/monarch.html

However, the CIA was interested in the topic of "multiple personalities", not only because of the ability to mentally enslave people and how to program robots; the agency also dealt with even more exotic aspects of this strange mental disorder. Many multiples are convinced that they have paranormal abilities, the gift of mind reading and clairvoyance. Some therapists also agree with this belief of their clients. Extrasensory perceptions often seem to be connected to the process of profound dissociation, whether based on fact or deception. This is not a new finding: suspected paranormal phenomena were already evident in early hypnosis experiments with somnambulists in the last third of the 18th century (Gauld 1995: 62ff.).

The psychologist Michaela Huber, who specializes in the treatment of multiple personalities, reports that "supernatural abilities" in contact with multiple people are clearly noticeable. She goes on to say: "And I've actually seen a number of predictions from [DID] clients come in retroactively, and what's palpable is a tremendous amount of energy that's released especially when there's a lot of confusion and/or alter-switching inside the multiple personality. Sometimes, when I sit face-to-face with the person concerned, I can feel that energy as if it were a kind of vortex "(Huber 1995: 136)

Do you experience some of these described phenomena too?

Activating ESP through dissociation is probably the key reason for organized ritualistic abuse within families who are close to secret societies/intelligence/armed forces.

I know your family are a bunch of "rednecks", but it's interesting that their "unsophisticated" abuse maybe triggered the same mechanisms completely by accident.

At any rate she probably chalked it up to us being "special" genetically or something. Since she is psychic, it's not a surprise to her than I am too.

She is psychic for real? So all that witchcraft stuff wasn't just mad babbling? Any idea whether she was an MK participant in some way prior? Making easy cash by volunteering at a university etc.?

What are her abilities?

 

[Trenton]

Supernatural abilities in people with DID is something I've heard before. That's why I take your claims seriously, in opposite to most people I guess.

Here's some interesting info from a German site about Monarch, put through Google translate and some editing for clarifications:

http://www.wahrheitssuche.org/monarch.html

However, the CIA was interested in the topic of "multiple personalities", not only because of the ability to mentally enslave people and how to program robots; the agency also dealt with even more exotic aspects of this strange mental disorder. Many multiples are convinced that they have paranormal abilities, the gift of mind reading and clairvoyance. Some therapists also agree with this belief of their clients. Extrasensory perceptions often seem to be connected to the process of profound dissociation, whether based on fact or deception. This is not a new finding: suspected paranormal phenomena were already evident in early hypnosis experiments with somnambulists in the last third of the 18th century (Gauld 1995: 62ff.).

The psychologist Michaela Huber, who specializes in the treatment of multiple personalities, reports that "supernatural abilities" in contact with multiple people are clearly noticeable. She goes on to say: "And I've actually seen a number of predictions from [DID] clients come in retroactively, and what's palpable is a tremendous amount of energy that's released especially when there's a lot of confusion and/or alter-switching inside the multiple personality. Sometimes, when I sit face-to-face with the person concerned, I can feel that energy as if it were a kind of vortex "(Huber 1995: 136)

Do you experience some of these described phenomena too?

Activating ESP through dissociation is probably the key reason for organized ritualistic abuse within families who are close to secret societies/intelligence/armed forces.

I know your family are a bunch of "rednecks", but it's interesting that their "unsophisticated" abuse maybe triggered the same mechanisms completely by accident.



She is psychic for real? So all that witchcraft stuff wasn't just mad babbling? Any idea whether she was an MK participant in some way prior? Making easy cash by volunteering at a university etc.?

What are her abilities?

I feel like that all makes sense. I've also heard of MPD being linked with "supernatural powers". (I believe in scientific reasoning behind the phenomenon but aside from that)

My abilities include, psychokenesis (movement of objects without touching them)

Telekenisis (being able to communicate thoughts directly into peoples mind or hearing their thoughts)

Out of body experience.

Premonition, (seeing an even before it happens) I take my dreams or visions seriously for this reason.

Clairsentience (knowing something is happening somewhere else, without being told it is or seeing any evidence of it happening)

Seeing typically invisible entities, ghosts (of people can animals), demons, angels etc. And being able to literally just speak to them and hold a conversation.

I make lights blow out, computers turn off, or malfunction.

Aporting of objects. If something is lost I can make it appear in a place nearby and retrieve it.


My mother only is able to have premonitions.

She was abused badly as a child herself, but no cult type activity that I know of.

My boyfriend has a number if these abilities as well, and the same type of upbringing as I did, if only a fair bit worse than I had it.

 

[NewOnThisSite]

Seeing typically invisible entities, ghosts (of people can animals), demons, angels etc. And being able to literally just speak to them and hold a conversation.

You had conversations with demons and angels? How do these entities look like?

Have you ever asked them something substantial? God, devil, the universe, you know. What did they say?

 

[Trenton]

You had conversations with demons and angels? How do these entities look like?

Have you ever asked them something substantial? God, devil, the universe, you know. What did they say?

I've met two demons, and seen angelic beings before.

The angels do not speak. They look like androgynous humans. Long hair, feminine faces, male bodies.

The two demons, one Baelthatscal (balthazar) and Belial.

Bael looked like a Satyr. He was charming and "dignified". He told me he wanted to keep me. I told him to fuck off.

Belial looks like a very tall inky black spider monkey. He doesn't speak, but he gives off a feeling of pure dread.

As for asking demons any questions, they lie all the time. I tried to ask them about hell or heaven or god or the devil, and Bael only replied with "I'm from a higher place, you can serve me if you want." I refused, and he left me alone as far as I'm aware. He visited me repeatedly for a year before he took "no means no".

 

[NewOnThisSite]

Was your boyfriend anywhere near when you saw them?

 

[Trenton]

Was your boyfriend anywhere near when you saw them?

My boyfriend is the one who first saw Belial, but he hasn't ever seen Bael.



Imagine this guy, but 7 feet tall, and black skin too.

Baelthatscal had goat legs, horns going back and coiled, but not like a Rams horns. Like a Billy goats horns I guess.

He had a male human torso, and a humanoid face, but with sallow bluish skin, and 3 sets of "cheekbones". Long white hair, with a long coil of white bangs hanging forward. He also had a very long tail, similar to a zebra tail, with short hair and a puff of hair at the end.

IDK just trying to give a better description of what they looked like.

 

[NewOnThisSite]

My boyfriend is the one who first saw Belial, but he hasn't ever seen Bael.

Yet he's still a staunch materialist? What's his explanation for the things he has seen? Was there ever an situation where both of you saw entities at the same time?

 

[Trenton]

Yet he's still a staunch materialist? What's his explanation for the things he has seen? Was there ever an situation where both of you saw entities at the same time?

I've talked with him a bit about my mentioning him in this thread and stuff.

His reply about being "staunchly athiest" is that he believes many things are possible in this realm, but that there's, other layers? Like this physical layer, and under that, a nothingness.

He doesn't seem to have a great grasp on what he believes.

Personally I agree with Nikola Tesla in that "earth isn't a physical planet in our universe, but rather a realm". Paraphrasing there quite a bit.

I believe in a Creator of the universe, I believe it's not such a physical definite place.

I dunno if I weren't going by what the Bible says about earth, and I came up with my own conclusions, I'd still believe the world is a strange place, and that there's a God.

At any rate I don't understand his beliefs any better than he understands mine.

 

[NewOnThisSite]

Let's be frank here: Most people would probably call you crazy at this point, but I've talked with few people who saw similiar things ("sane" people) and I know about the supposed link between DID and ESP, so I take your posts serious.

It was nowhere near on that level what you're describing though.

Back to topic: Are you happy that you can see these things or is it a burden? I mean the state you are in is basically that of epiphany (or "illuminism" to stay in VC-lingo) You're seeing things most people never see, you know things most people never know.

It's quite fucked up (and says a lot about humanity) that it's apparently possible to reach such state through something horrific as child-abuse, but still... Most dedicated mystics or occultists would give their left and right arm to see an angel or demon for real.

How do you feel about this?

 

[Lisa]

I have at least 5 different alters. All different names and all very dissimilar to one another.

No one is particularly dominant, but I may stay as a certain alter for a majority of my time for up to a month. After a while they (or I rather) will get very tired and lethargic, or have a mental breakdown at some point.




Who is "out" really depends on their own personal preference. Really I think sometimes I switch out of necessity but otherwise it seems to be random tbh. I know a lot of times my alters will say "I don't want to be here!!! But I can't leave!" If confronted by family and told to "leave and let so and so back out".




My alters have varying abilities. Some are good at writing or spelling better, some are rather illiterate.

I don't drive, and I know of one alter who absolutely cannot drive, simply because he is very very bad at it. I know I drove a car once, and it was one of my older alters. He claims to be able to drive fine.

Some of my alters have different voices. Deeper or higher. Or an accent. Or knows how to speak another language (I only speak English and have never studied other languages outside of some Spanish in middle school).

I believe as far as I can tell my youngest alter is 11. However I've been told I speak like a toddler sometimes. So who knows.

I have only gotten this far so far in the discussion, but I was wondering, and forgive me if someone has already asked this..but are you also other people here on the forum? Or just Trenton?