I have DID, AMA

[Trenton]

I see your following entries show that your family was seriously into the occult. How much do you believe that is a factor in your DID?
If you/ alter egos are a Christian, have you ever looked at information for Christians who wish to become free of that?

I live 1,600 miles away from my family, that's how I got out of it tbh. I think most secular families are big into the occult. It's ubiquitous really.

I'm not sure if my parents being occultist caused me harm or not, probably but again my memories are incredibly vague from my childhood. When I try to think about them my mind gets super muddled and foggy.

Been through some weird shit though.

My alters who are Christian have dealt with their reconciliation, as for the others it can't be forced, they have to get there on their own.

We have looked into freedom from bondage to Satan etc, but everyone has a different take on it.

It's kinda scary and stressful to imagine deliverance stuff. And while I respect exorcism and all that, most of the time it seems so hoaky, or the person really believed it would help them and TADA they're healed?

I've spent an entire lifetime possessed and shit and praying, having others pray for me, you name it.

I'm still like this.

Either God is testing me, or it's his plan for me, or he doesn't care.

Blah

 

[JoChris]

I live 1,600 miles away from my family, that's how I got out of it tbh. I think most secular families are big into the occult. It's ubiquitous really.

I'm not sure if my parents being occultist caused me harm or not, probably but again my memories are incredibly vague from my childhood. When I try to think about them my mind gets super muddled and foggy.

Been through some weird shit though.

My alters who are Christian have dealt with their reconciliation, as for the others it can't be forced, they have to get there on their own.

We have looked into freedom from bondage to Satan etc, but everyone has a different take on it.

It's kinda scary and stressful to imagine deliverance stuff. And while I respect exorcism and all that, most of the time it seems so hoaky, or the person really believed it would help them and TADA they're healed?

I've spent an entire lifetime possessed and shit and praying, having others pray for me, you name it.

I'm still like this.

Either God is testing me, or it's his plan for me, or he doesn't care.

Blah

I have a book for you to read called "the bondage breaker". https://archive.org/details/bondagebreaker00neil_0
All you have to do to join "openlibrary" is give your email address, like here.
It isn't the movie exorcism type of ministry. It is seeing the truth, God's way, therefore rejecting Satan's lies. Praying through issues mentioned and so on.
If you say you are interested, I will return the book so you can access it for yourself.

 

[Trenton]

I have a book for you to read called "the bondage breaker". https://archive.org/details/bondagebreaker00neil_0
All you have to do to join "openlibrary" is give your email address, like here.
It isn't the movie exorcism type of ministry. It is seeing the truth, God's way, therefore rejecting Satan's lies. Praying through issues mentioned and so on.
If you say you are interested, I will return the book so you can access it for yourself.

I would enjoy reading it, but I'm uncertain if I'd have the time to do so.

No need to return the book though, I actually found a free source PDF just now, so I have it loaded onto my phone. Haha

 

[JoChris]

I would enjoy reading it, but I'm uncertain if I'd have the time to do so.

No need to return the book though, I actually found a free source PDF just now, so I have it loaded onto my phone. Haha

Excellent. The Christian parts of you should enjoy it. Biblegateway.com will be helpful for you to look up passages and verses mentioned.

You should give your link here too!

 

[Trenton]

Excellent. The Christian parts of you should enjoy it. Biblegateway.com will be helpful for you to look up passages and verses mentioned.

You should give your link here too!

I have a Bible actually, KJV with full concordance.

I use biblehub and biblegateway quite often as well.

I skimmed the book just now to get an idea of it's contents. I'm sure I'll enjoy reading it.

I saw the questionnaire at the end of the book and my honest answers would put me in very dismal position.

The PDF is here if anyone wants to download it.

http://selfdefinition.org/hearing-voices/Neil-T-Anderson-The-Bondage-Breaker.pdf

 

[JoChris]

I have a Bible actually, KJV with full concordance.

I use biblehub and biblegateway quite often as well.

I skimmed the book just now to get an idea of it's contents. I'm sure I'll enjoy reading it.

I saw the questionnaire at the end of the book and my honest answers would put me in very dismal position.

The PDF is here if anyone wants to download it.

http://selfdefinition.org/hearing-voices/Neil-T-Anderson-The-Bondage-Breaker.pdf

Remember that even Christians who have had the most Christian upbringing possible e.g. pastors' kids will also sin and be deceived, leading to possible demonic oppression.

This past week I had had some memories stirred up from long ago and the pain came back. That book opened my eyes to how I was not seeing my past through God's eyes and how I was believing Satan's lies that there was no hope for me, no good would come from me and so on. It was very subtle but I see it now.

Knowledge is power. Time to reject lies about God and yourself Trenton.

 

[NewOnThisSite]

No but my Grandpa was a free mason. In my case they seemed to pick me, I didn't pick them.

They picked you? The Masons I guess?

So it's them who drugged and programmed you? How far up the ladder (degree) was your grandfather?

LOL. It's fine. I'm just so used to this stuff. I've integrated it all into my conscious awareness. And they didn't do it for fun. They create alter egos so they can send them on missions.

Even been on such a mission? Or ever expected you were on a mission but you can't remember anymore?

 

[NewOnThisSite]

I'm not greatful whatsoever for child abuse. It breaks my heart.

He [boyfriend] has seen psychokenesis events, he has seen some of us physically outside the body. He has seen the papers found on old records online.

Ever thought about using your abilities against the vile sadists who abused the child that became your home? Can't think of a better target for a flying brick than a SRA-handler.

 

[Aero]

They picked you? The Masons I guess?

So it's them who drugged and programmed you? How far up the ladder (degree) was your grandfather?

Well I suppose it could of been aliens. And I meant to ask my Grandpa about his mason stuff but I forgot. I know he has a cool mason ring though.

Even been on such a mission? Or ever expected you were on a mission but you can't remember anymore?

Why would I write it if I hadn't? Or Forgot?

 

[NewOnThisSite]

Why would I write it if I hadn't? Or Forgot?

Well, how do you know they send them on missions and that your DID was on purpose? I mean they show that stuff in movies and there are articles on the internet about it.. but for all you know, these could be inventions after all.

Yet you seem to be certain that it happened to you for a purpose, and you seem to know it's done to send people on missions.

What are your personal clues for these claims? I don't want to discourage or disrespect you, but it's a helluva topic. I am glad for the chance to speak to someone who has gone through this.

 

[Aero]

Well, how do you know they send them on missions and that your DID was on purpose? I mean they show that stuff in movies and there are articles on the internet about it.. but for all you know, these could be inventions after all.

Yet you seem to be certain that it happened to you for a purpose, and you seem to know it's done to send people on missions.

What are your personal clues for these claims? I don't want to discourage or disrespect you, but it's a helluva topic. I am glad for the chance to speak to someone who has gone through this.

I can't speak from anyone else's perspective. I can just draw from the symbolism, and motivations. And they are inventions, it's just a question if they are all my own, or if someone else influenced them. So when I look at all the movies, and events during my child hood. Than compare that to my current behavior, motivations and symbolism. The puzzle starts coming together.

When so much of your life starts to seem scripted. They aren't clues anymore. Weird shit happens to me on a daily basis. But I'm not really interested in getting into personal details. At least not publicly. For now anyway. This post is about DID. It's about alter egos. Nobody can tell you everything their alter ego does or thinks. Unless their alter ego tells you.

 

[NewOnThisSite]

Weird shit happens to me on a daily basis.

Supernatural stuff?

 

[Aero]

Supernatural stuff?

Not by my definition. I think things like Telepathy and Psychometry are completely natural. But these are skills people don't utilize. Like a musician or an athlete. Some are born for it, but they all have to train to get better. So I see nothing to suggest that the mystic arts aren't the same way. Astral projection? It's just like punching someone. Punching someone with your fist *IS* punching them with your mind. Therefore that's not supernatural either. You are just removing the fist from the equation.

 

[NewOnThisSite]

By definition of most people that is supernatural though. Maybe you're right with your definition, but that is not the point.

Do you have control of these phenomena? Or do they just happen? Have you met other people with DID who experience that? Are you from an affluent family background?

Also, if you have some control over this stuff, same question to you: Ever thought about using it against former tormentors? Clandestine drugging and programming doesn't sound pleasant.

 

[NewOnThisSite]

As for MKULTRA (I Trenton have personal experience with the program from my past life, at least second hand knowledge from my father, he would actually talk about things sometimes with his buddies, military rumors and shit. My grandfather who died a few years before I was born was a 31st degree Mason, and also in order of the Oddfellows and Knights of Pythias. I found old trunks full of weird shit in the attic when I was still alive.)

What things did he spoke of? And what was the weird shit you found?

 

[Aero]

By definition of most people that is supernatural though. Maybe you're right with your definition, but that is not the point.

Do you have control of these phenomena? Or do they just happen? Have you met other people with DID who experience that? Are you from an affluent family background?

Also, if you have some control over this stuff, same question to you: Ever thought about using it against former tormentors? Clandestine drugging and programming doesn't sound pleasant.

I can only guess at my levels of control. But it's not something I'm doing out of boredom. I don't think my family is affluent but I'm really not a good judge of that sort of thing. And I know other people but we don't talk about mind control.

As far as your last question. That would be kind of dumb to answer. Like it's never a good idea to incriminate yourself. However since I'm such a narcissist I will give you something. I've lost count of the shots I've let off. And they always hit, and always bring the pain.

 

[NewOnThisSite]

Were these "abilities" a goal of your programming? I mean do you think they expected you would gain ESP?

 

[NewOnThisSite]

I've lost count of the shots I've let off. And they always hit, and always bring the pain.

How does the targeting work? Do you need to see the person? Is it like a spell?

Speaking of: Ever thought about taking the James Randi challenge? I am pretty sure he's not trustworthy, but maybe some less dogmatic employees of his "foundation" could be turned.

I firmly believe that the things you're speaking about do exist. I have the opinion that denying the "supernatural" is a key cornerstone in the agenda. The elites are drenched in occult symbolism (which is about the supernatural after all), yet you get laughed at in public when speaking about such things. Talk about double standards.

It's something they want to keep for themselves, and it's about denying the spiritual side of existence.

 

[Aero]

Were these "abilities" a goal of your programming? I mean do you think they expected you would gain ESP?

Probably. For me it's a simple equation. These people have clearly done this MK ultra thing before. So if they know the results are real, and are driving this huge machine how could I deny it? That would lead to a seriously unbalanced mind.

How does the targeting work? Do you need to see the person? Is it like a spell?

Speaking of: Ever thought about taking the James Randi challenge? I am pretty sure he's not trustworthy, but maybe some less dogmatic employees of his "foundation" could be turned.

I firmly believe that the things you're speaking about do exist. I have the opinion that denying the "supernatural" is a key cornerstone in the agenda. The elites are drenched in occult symbolism (which is about the supernatural after all), yet you get laughed at in public when speaking about such things. Talk about double standards.

It's something they want to keep for themselves, and it's about denying the spiritual side of existence.

Well let me try to answer with an example. Lets say there is a fugitive on the run, or a serial killer stalking a community. These are prime targets because they are guilty. They have bad karma. So in that sense, I just have to want them caught. And most of the time they really do get caught.

Using the spirit world to make money seems counterproductive. And may actually be impossible. From what I've noticed I can use the spirit world to make other people money. I just haven't figured out how to get it from them.

 

[NewOnThisSite]

Probably. For me it's a simple equation. These people have clearly done this MK ultra thing before. So if they know the results are real, and are driving this huge machine how could I deny it? That would lead to a seriously unbalanced mind.

This may sound terrible at first, but, are you grateful on some level that all this happened to you? I know it sounds horrible, but bear with me:

You know things which the vast majority of humanity doesn't know. Things like that the supernatural does exist, that all this MKULTRA stuff isn't just crazy crackpot conspiracy theory.

You paid a terrible price for this knowledge, but still. You got a peek behind the Matrix.

So in your opinion: Was the pain worth it to get literally "illuminated", or is it better to stay oblivious yet live an uneventful life free of pain?

If you could chose again, what would you chose?