I agree with many points you have raised.
Regarding tae and jk.. being a new "fan" i immidiately got exposed to all the shipping videos on youtube. Many of them are really convincing so i myself became somewhat certain taekook is a thing.
Looking at concert interaction just from several months ago it was clear those 2 are close, at least really good friends who enjoy each other even though to my western eyes it looked more. The looks, the chemistry.
A lot of people noted it was bigh1t that separated them and forces this narrative of them barely interacting on stage and almost ignore eachother on camera, especially while in the us. Fans are looking for literally seconds of interactions between them to assure themselves they are fine and "keeping their relationship private".
The only times i saw them engaging is during fanmeetings - i dont know if its fanservice or real interactions but all of the previous behaviour was there.
Also one of the few interactions happened at the mega concert before they left for the bbmas. I dont know, those smiles seemed real to me.
http://instagr.am/p/Bw0A6AZgLQM/
So if its their management who restricts it, why now? The lgbt agenda is very present around bts and jimin is flirtatious with all the members.
I agree with you that the fans are very much invested in those ships so much as they participate in wars and hate on other members if they happen to touch one of their favs. I myself follow taekook accounts on twitter.. not proud of it but i got sucked into it too.
The narrative throughout is that they are cute babies while some are 26-27 old, grown men who are not allowed to keep a gf (or bf) and not even have facial hair.
I do believe it puts wrong ideas in their fans minds regarding norms and sexuality. But actually from what i saw in us concerts, the gay behaviour was toned down almost completely. Strange