Would you date an ugly man?

justjess

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But think about it. A guy with straight, symmetric facial features can be a complete scrub, unshaved, long haired and havent showered but he'll still be damn goodlooking. It's really all about a goodlooking face with an at least normal body.
This is probably why you constantly complain that you can’t meet a good guy and think every guy you meet is autistic for some reason (they aren’t)
 

morita

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If all those other qualities ONLY matter if a persons physically attractive - which is what your saying here, don’t be mistaken - then yeah that’s what you are reducing people to
There is nothing wrong with having standards imo. I don't see men being accused of being shallow or vain when they "discuss" women's looks. But god forbid that a woman actually wants better for herself than a slob...lol.
 

justjess

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There is nothing wrong with having standards imo. I don't see men being accused of being shallow or vain when they "discuss" women's looks. But god forbid that a woman actually wants better for herself than a slob...lol.
Do not get it twisted. Men are most certainly accused of being shallow and vein when all they care about is a woman’s appearance. Having a vagina doesnt grant you immunity from the same exact accusations and judgement.
 

morita

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Do not get it twisted. Men are most certainly accused of being shallow and vein when all they care about is a woman’s appearance. Having a vagina doesnt grant you immunity from the same exact accusations and judgement.
If having standard is all it takes for someone to be labelled vain, then a lot of us are. But if you want to date ugly men, you do you, I'll pass.
 

justjess

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If having standard is all it takes for someone to be labelled vain, then a lot of us are. But if you want to date ugly men, you do you, I'll pass.
Lol... aren’t you the one posting about how horrible men are all the time claiming to be a feminist?

1) if this is how you determine what men to involve yourself with, no wonder you think men are horrible. Your discounting tons of men out the gate based on their appearance and then judging men by a subset of men who are more inclined to be “horrible”

2) you aren’t describing “standards” what you are describing is one standard that supersedes all OTHERS, which just happens to be an entirely vein and shallow way to determine a persons worth

3) no self respecting feminist would ever be okay with her qualities as a person only being relevant IF she passes some subjective “attractive” goalpost first. Wanting to be found attractive or have an attractive partner is very different then prioritizing physical attractiveness solely to the exclusion of other characteristics if physical attractiveness isn’t present first

If all you want as a feminist is the right to be EQUALLY HORRIBLE please stop calling yourself a feminist. You give the rest of us a bad name.

No one said you have to date ugly men, however, your credibility in discussions regarding men specifically and human relations in general just took a massive tank.
 

morita

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Lol... aren’t you the one posting about how horrible men are all the time claiming to be a feminist?

1) if this is how you determine what men to involve yourself with, no wonder you think men are horrible. Your discounting tons of men out the gate based on their appearance and then judging men by a subset of men who are more inclined to be “horrible”

3) no self respecting feminist would ever be okay with her qualities as a person only being relevant IF she passes some subjective “attractive” goalpost first. Wanting to be found attractive or have an attractive partner is very different then prioritizing physical attractiveness solely to the exclusion of other characteristics if physical attractiveness isn’t present first

If all you want as a feminist is the right to be EQUALLY HORRIBLE please stop calling yourself a feminist. You give the rest of us a bad name.
I never used the word feminist on this forum to talk about myself but thanks for putting words in my mouth.

I don't identify with feminism because it only serves the interests of white women.
White women may be oppressed, but they also benefit from the system from being white. So they're not inerested in challenging systems of power. In fact they reproduce the very same power dynamics inside the movement. Yall are litteraly parroting men and their respectability politics. "Men can't tell you what to do, that's MY job" - white feminists, so yall don't need me to give you a bad name.
And even if I did call myself a feminist, it would not mean every thing I post on here is a feminist statement.

2) you aren’t describing “standards” what you are describing is one standard that supersedes all OTHERS, which just happens to be an entirely vein and shallow way to determine a persons worth
it's not that deep, I asked women if they would date a guy they find ugly or unattractive. Period.
 

justjess

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Lol... :rolleyes:

I’m not telling you what to do. You asked a question. I answered it. Do what you want. I think it’s shallow. Especially since you also mentioned your friends boyfriend was a good guy otherwise. That’s not simply saying what you, yourself, want. That’s assuming what you want is representative of what everyone else should want. Might want to check that superiority complex you came riding in on. Instead of being happy for your friend that she met a good guy that she likes you are worried about his unbrushed hair and lack of interest in the gym. Apparantly your friend is not similarly bothered.

As for feminism there are a lot of feminists who recognize and operate out of a system of intersectional feminism which does quite bluntly address how white women, while experiencing sexism, also benefit off privilege in other areas (race, cisgender, socio economics). Quite a lot of intersectional feminists are WHITE. But again, go ahead and paint everyone with a broad stroke to suit your own predisposed opinions as much as you like. No stopping you even if I cared to. Carry on.
 

Aero

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Standards are fine, but you don't have to act salty about it. I see a lot of people who seem to cling to the things they hate. Like nobody is forcing you to be around ugly slobs.

If someone wants to slob it up, I really don't care. I don't care about your clothes, hair, or how bad you smell. Because 99.9% of the time, I can just avoid you. Plus if I don't like the sight of someone, I sure as hell won't let them control my thoughts.
 

Sunshine

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Over the years, I've come to realize, and I am paraphrasing for the sake of brevity: Ugly is as ugly does.

There are drop dead gorgeous people in the world who are selfish, intentionally cruel and even straight up evil. We know this. And we know the opposite is true. You don't have to watch "Shallow Hal" to see that looking beyond a first impresson can lead to rewarding friendships and relationships.

I have also noticed that there can be a huge disconnect between people being considered conventionally attractive, and being sexy. Sex appeal actually has little to do with physical attributes, and everything to do with intelligence, personal magnetism, and confidence.

A third note I would suggest is that it sounds like the dude may be suffering fom depression, rather than "laziness." If he is young (teens/20's) he may not have been taught or encouraged in the myriad of steps involved in personal hygiene, especially if his family was toxic or dysfunctional. Feel him out, see if he's up for a male make-over. Even if he does it in baby-steps, rather than one day, it will make a world of difference in his sense of self-worth.
 

morita

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Lol... :rolleyes:

I’m not telling you what to do. You asked a question. I answered it. Do what you want. I think it’s shallow.
I wasn't talking about this thread but about white feminism in general. It's about policing other women's feminism.

That’s assuming what you want is representative of what everyone else should want. Might want to check that superiority complex you came riding in on. Instead of being happy for your friend that she met a good guy that she likes you are worried about his unbrushed hair and lack of interest in the gym. Apparantly your friend is not similarly bothered.
I don't care that much what my friend or anyone does, that's not my life, I could have just as much taken another exemple. He's just the first person that came into my mind when I wrote this since I see him regularly.
Why even bother responding if you think this thread is too shallow? It could have gotten lost amongst the hundred of other threads on here but by responding you keep it in the new posts and actually giving it more views lol.
 

morita

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Over the years, I've come to realize, and I am paraphrasing for the sake of brevity: Ugly is as ugly does.

I have also noticed that there can be a huge disconnect between people being considered conventionally attractive, and being sexy. Sex appeal actually has little to do with physical attributes, and everything to do with intelligence, personal magnetism, and confidence.
True, some men have 0 swagger or charisma even if they're conventionally attractive.
 

morita

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so "real"
 

Thunderian

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It's both. My friend's boyfriend doesn't workout, deosn't take care of himself, never went to a hair salon. I don't get it because my friend is a cute girl, but what you gonna do? He was a slob when she met him, he'll stay a slob...
You can go crazy trying to figure it out.

I’m a conventionally decent-looking guy, and, back in the day, I went to the gym and got proper haircuts and had nice clothes, so it was baffling when a girl I liked would turn me down and instead go out with some crusty, unwashed moron with white man dreads who always wore the same pants.
 

Spades

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You can go crazy trying to figure it out.

I’m a conventionally decent-looking guy, and, back in the day, I went to the gym and got proper haircuts and had nice clothes, so it was baffling when a girl I liked would turn me down and instead go out with some crusty, unwashed moron with white man dreads who always wore the same pants.
Conventional? You?! I would have never believed it. How dare those crusty, unwashed long haired freaky people apply?
 

Spades

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I'm glad you took the pics off this thread... but still... YOU UGLY SHAMED. Just gonna say that is WORSE than slut-shaming because... I mean... one person had a personal choice to make. Hahaha... Such a silly troll. Honestly, though... one piece of ridiculous makes your other views look suspect and I don't appreciate that at all. In my eyes... you are henceforth TROLLTRASH. I'm sorting you out one by one.

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Spades

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If having standard is all it takes for someone to be labelled vain, then a lot of us are. But if you want to date ugly men, you do you, I'll pass.
Then pass... without making a thread about how ugly the guy is. Or worse... how ugly your friend's guy is. Why do you even care? If she likes him.... she'll stay with him. You've got nothing invested in this situation. Leave them to themselves.

Sounds to me like you've got a crush on your friend.
 

morita

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BTW... This whole thread is ridiculous. LMAO. Wait just one god forsaken minute... morita... are you by chance the one who went all femme fatale on one of the metoo posts? Ugh oh.
"went all femme fatale"? lol I was simply expessing my views, crazy to do that on a forum right?
 

morita

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If some of you are that triggered by this thread it's time to ask yourself why.
 
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