It depends on the situation. Exactly WHY are the men getting in touch with their emotions?
* Is it to impress others with their sensitivity (especially women for ulterior motives)
* Is it to avoid growing up? Boo hoo ... I have shown you need to look after me (substitute) Mum"
* Is it being true to themselves (not every man can/ wants to be a warrior/ leader)
* Is it them facing personal issues? so they can grow past them and become more "whole" mature men
I obviously disagree with first 2 examples and agree with last 2 examples.
I think in a way you value ultra-masculinity too highly. I have seen the bad side of too many tough blokes suppressing girly emotions in a mining town. The suicide rate is higher because they don't get enough emotional support (they are often living in a mining camp with their family 100s, even 1000s km away).
You might dismiss that as being weak. I see that as them being human. Men and women are 50% population for a reason. Too much of one group is unhealthy, whether numbers or influence.
Western culture has gotten soft. My family comes from the Third World. I can see the difference. What would be considered "ultra-masculinity" is considered normal in other cultures. I don't think I promote "ultra-masculinity"- I think that Western standards are simply soft.
In some cultures, stronger men are prized and in some cultures, what's promoted is for men to be soft.
I grew up in the slums. What other people might consider normal was considered soft where I grew up and what other people might call things like "toxic masculinity" is simply normal.
Now- my thing is this. I understand- not every man is going to live up to the standards of, say, a Malcolm X.
I get that. I've coached a lot of guys. I've had guys older than me look up to me. They took my words as inspiring- not oppressive.
And to be honest, this is getting into the realm of guy talk. I don't know if women will understand it but it doesn't really matter. My thoughts here are more geared towards men.
These men these days- they feel like Mr. Incredible in that first Incredibles movie. They want to be heroes, they want to be bold, brave, etc.- but society is trying to repress their inner instincts.
My message to men is to be bold, to be daring, to be confident, to be courageous. A man's psychological needs are not the same as a woman's. I'm not saying all women don't understand men psychologically- I wouldn't rule it out as a possibility. But a lot of women don't understand men psychologically. I do.
When I talk to guys I'm friends with- and I'm not lying- a lot of men have looked up to me- they feel beat down, demoralized and I try to encourage them to bold, to be confident, to be daring- to embrace their inner nature. All this stuff of trying to promote "sensitive guys" and all that- they hear that all day and that is pushed all the time. This is not the 1950's. What I promote is not commonplace.
I'm not telling men to repress their natures, to fight ther natures and to be more like women. I encourage men to be bold, to be confident, to be daring.
I try to push men towards living up to their fullest potential.
I've had guys study me. I've had guys look up to me. I've had guys imitate me. I don't force it- it's voluntary.
If I'm talking to a guy and I talk about someone like Malcolm X and I mention Malcolm X. I understand- not every guy is going to meet the standards of a Malcolm X. I'm not trying to point in that type of direction to shame him- to make him feel bad. But every guy has an inner Malcolm X. Or John Wayne or a Zakir Naik or an Ahmed Deedat or whoever you want to cite as an example. Every guy has that in him. It is part of his primordial nature.
Look at Michelangelo. He started with rock and then out of the rock he managed to pull out sculptures. If I'm talking to a guy and I'm trying to give him "game" and give him advice- I'm trying to do something similar. I'm trying to pull out the inner lion that he has inside of him that is repressed.
This is a forum. People see my posts but they've never met me in real life. I've seen when other men were trying to imitate me, trying to talk like me, trying to act like me. I've seen it. Even guys older than me.
If Malcolm X was alive, they'd call him "toxic masculinity". If Ahmed Deedat was alive, they'd call him "toxic masculinity". I looked a list of traits that are "toxic masculinity". I was intrigued. You could take that same list and change the title to "how to be attractive to women".
I'm not oppressing anyone. The way I think is not really a Western way of thinking. I get that. Western culture is foreign to me and I understand that I'm foreign to it. I'm thinking from a completely different perspective, though, and my intent is to point people towards being in harmony with their deepest and truest inner nature.
Western culture has been subverted for a long time. It's whole basis at this point is to try to alter human nature. To re-engineer human nature. That is the Western approach. And I am firmly against it. I don't believe we need to re-engineer human nature. I believe that human nature was put there by the God and I believe that we have to protect and preserve human nature- I'm out to point people towards moving in the direction of their deepest inner nature- to be in touch with their inner nature. Western culture has lost touch with nature and has become alienated from nature. That is a mistake and following that mistake leads to tragic consequences.
EDIT:
Further, it is insane to promote an idea that men shouldn't embrace their inner warriors.
It is their biological destiny. They have no choice in the matter. It is their place.
If they run from that, then they are running from the path to their inner fulfillment. It's as simple as that. If they want to reach their highest potential, they have no choice. I refuse to promote for them to embrace mediocrity. I really have peoples' highest interest at heart and so I want to see them attain greatness. I'm not promoting mediocrity. I know there's potential in people.
What has your experience been "absorbing" others' emotions, if you've experienced that at all? From what I've read, INFPs seem to be pretty similar emotionally (correct me if I'm wrong).
