...Christ you’re all legitimately insane and belong in asylums
Not me mate..
Some years ago my solicitor sent me to a psychiatrist in connection with a vigilante court case I was facing; maybe he hoped the shrink would pronounce me nutty so i'd get a lighter sentence by pleading "guilty but insane".
But to our surprise the shrink pronounced me sane and I was jailed for 3 months in Leicester Prison !
His written report concluded with
"Mr X's behaviour was appropriate throughout the interview, he is a strong minded individual which would account for the trouble he now finds himself in with the police, and I can find no evidence that the balance of his mind was disturbed"
PS- mind you, as a kid I overheard my dad saying to my mam about me -
"He's nutty! No don't laugh, I really do mean it, he wastes all his pocket money on silly plastic model aeroplanes then hangs 'em on string from his bedroom ceiling in full view of the street, I dread to think what the neighbours are saying about him, when's he going to start saving his money instead?"
I got my own back though, I filled his radio with sand from a builders yard down the road and rofl'd at his bewildered expression when he tried to tune in the Clay-Liston fight but all he got were electrical crackles and splutters. He he he
Then the sand began pouring out in torrents like an Indiana Jones temple and he freaked,
"I don't believe it!" he yelled,
"its full of bleddy sand, how the hell did that get in there?"
He's been dead now for 40 years but I wonder what he'd say if he knew I still buy models, I've currently got my eye on one of these babies down the model shop..
-
PS- he was far more round the bend than me, everybody knew he was off his rocker..