Are narcissists poessesed? Why god bring them to our life even as parents? Serious question

[Truthrevealer01]

My narc mom is so different outside and different at home but when we are alone it's like she completely becomes demonized.Her voice changes,her look becomes scarier and totally cold.Yet no-one believes me when i talk about being emotionally abused except support forums on the net.

Has anyone been through this?
I wonder if God loves us all and wants the best why was I born into a narc family that puts me down,makes me feel bad and calls me useless and worthless and manipulates so I can't move out?
They raised me as Christian as possible using religion to manipulate me into not living my life or going out with friends.Ended up isolated and depressed and suicidal.

So my question is still the one on the title
You can share similar experience and opinion here.

 

[Dalit]

My narc mom is so different outside and different at home but when we are alone it's like she completely becomes demonized.Her voice changes,her look becomes scarier and totally cold.Yet no-one believes me when i talk about being emotionally abused except support forums on the net.

Has anyone been through this?
I wonder if God loves us all and wants the best why was I born into a narc family that puts me down,makes me feel bad and calls me useless and worthless and manipulates so I can't move out?
They raised me as Christian as possible using religion to manipulate me into not living my life or going out with friends.Ended up isolated and depressed and suicidal.

So my question is still the one on the title
You can share similar experience and opinion here.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Have you checked out Michelle Lee Nieves on YouTube? She talks about narcissist abuse, PTSD from such and even offers counsel and a support network. Both sets of my grandparents had at least one narcissist (Mom had two narcissistic parents!) so I think that's why I've seen my parents embody the narcissist and empath/enabler dynamic. It's what they both knew. :-( Anyway, please check her out. Her videos are a little cheesy looking with her talking against a blue screen with a tropical background or stars or whatever, but the content is good even if production value is not.

 

[Aero]

My parents weren't narcissists, but I found plenty out in the world. I made the mistake of feeding off the narcissism for awhile. It's like I was a vampire and didn't even know it. I mean I look back at things I got away with and can't believe they are real. Like that couldn't have been my life. But it was my life.

I understand that it's not a good feeling being cooped up. And I know it's difficult, but the types of feelings described really belong in repressed mind space. I would suggest focusing on your own plans for the future. Create a strategy and start putting it into practice. Plus always remember all the greatest minds in history have gone through something similar.

 

[JoChris]

My narc mom is so different outside and different at home but when we are alone it's like she completely becomes demonized.Her voice changes,her look becomes scarier and totally cold.Yet no-one believes me when i talk about being emotionally abused except support forums on the net.

Has anyone been through this?
I wonder if God loves us all and wants the best why was I born into a narc family that puts me down,makes me feel bad and calls me useless and worthless and manipulates so I can't move out?
They raised me as Christian as possible using religion to manipulate me into not living my life or going out with friends.Ended up isolated and depressed and suicidal.

So my question is still the one on the title
You can share similar experience and opinion here.

I definitely understand what you mean. My mother fits the profile of a covert narcissist perfectly. https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/understanding-maternal-covert-narcissism-when-mom-cant-let-go-0309185

My father has some NPD personality traits but was way better with me (I am the oldest), and had an "OK on the surface relationship" with my first younger sibling, but he had a much worse relationship with my other two younger siblings.

You have been through an awful lot by the sounds of it. Grieving for the parents you didn't have is a painful process and it is hard not to stay in that place if that is all you have known. Which online groups have you visited?

 

[Red Sky at Morning]

My narc mom is so different outside and different at home but when we are alone it's like she completely becomes demonized.Her voice changes,her look becomes scarier and totally cold.Yet no-one believes me when i talk about being emotionally abused except support forums on the net.

Has anyone been through this?
I wonder if God loves us all and wants the best why was I born into a narc family that puts me down,makes me feel bad and calls me useless and worthless and manipulates so I can't move out?
They raised me as Christian as possible using religion to manipulate me into not living my life or going out with friends.Ended up isolated and depressed and suicidal.

So my question is still the one on the title
You can share similar experience and opinion here.

I think one of the hardest places to reach is the resentment in the heart created in children when parents use Christianity as a form of religious mind control. On some level, your parents may have a faith, but in terms of the way they have related it to you, it seems it must have felt more like a pressure cooker than an invitation in to relationship with the Lord.

How we treat our kids makes a huge difference to them. Imagine a sporty parent who forced their children to grow up on wheat germ smoothies, allowed no sweets and expected a daily program of hard fitness training. They might call you all sorts of things if you sneak a bar of chocolate or skip a workout. Sometimes the child might conform to those standards, more often than not they might become pizza loving couch potatoes, but all the time say to themselves “at least I’m not like them”.

Perhaps I am generalising from my own experience, you see, my parents (not narcissists at all btw) became Christians in their 20s having grown up in the 60s and having lost time and happiness doing “worldly” things they later regretted. I grew up in a very Christian home but I felt by my mid-teens that I hadn’t “chosen” that route so much as had it chosen for me.

So I rebelled (significantly), then I regretted it severely.

At last I understood first hand the nature of God’s love and forgiveness. A line from “Sit Down” by James was what helped cut through it all “If I hadn’t seen such riches, I could live with being poor”.

Sometimes God allows the son to leave home and become a prodigal till they realise the emptiness on the things they secretly crave. Certainly it was that way for me.

The complicating thing for you seems to be that your folks seem to have made use of Christianity as a means of control. The Hegelian dialectic is a very powerful thing. During my time “away”, I never lost my faith in God, but I held up to myself, when my conscience would sting, certain Christians I knew who represented the gospel badly. I would take them as my justification for taking a new direction. I certainly get where you coming from in the OP and hope you find a way through this.

 

[Cocomj]

My narc mom is so different outside and different at home but when we are alone it's like she completely becomes demonized.Her voice changes,her look becomes scarier and totally cold.Yet no-one believes me when i talk about being emotionally abused except support forums on the net.

Has anyone been through this?
I wonder if God loves us all and wants the best why was I born into a narc family that puts me down,makes me feel bad and calls me useless and worthless and manipulates so I can't move out?
They raised me as Christian as possible using religion to manipulate me into not living my life or going out with friends.Ended up isolated and depressed and suicidal.

So my question is still the one on the title
You can share similar experience and opinion here.

Hi
I haven't been through this (narcissistic parent )
But i've been through abuse (still healing from it) so i understand how you feel...

The answer is yes god loves us all
If that can help you :

https://www1.cbn.com/questions/why-do-bad-things-happen-to-good-people

Read this also : https://narcissisticbehavior.net/what-does-the-bible-say-about-narcissistic-behaviour/

(Personally i believe he has a purpose for every single one of us (am a born again christian who only believes in reading the bible)
Yes you must live in righteousness but that doesn't mean you can't live a happy life
It's just that you should seek God to ask what he wants from you (for Glory) so that you won't end up in bad situations
Also i'm so sorry they aren't letting be with your friends
And the thing that always comes to mind for me is : 1 Peter 5:10)

They didn't taught you how Christianity was but only some of the basis in it
(https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+John+4:1-5&version=KJV)
https://biblicalperspectivesonnarcissism.com/2017/04/13/dealing-with-narcissists-jesus-simon-and-the-woman/#more-6358)

Also if that helps : https://www.biblestudytools.com/msg/2-timothy/2.html

If you are a Christian you may know about sins and spiritual bondages (or attacks )
Maybe your parents are going through that

I hope i am not being judgemental
I wish that you will find peace and hope in your life


(Ps n°2 : idk how old you are but when you are old enough or you really feel like you are suffocating please reach out for help don't wait until you are under physical violence )
If you don't like psychologists,there are other forms of therapies : cognitive therapy,zoo therapy (animals),occupational therapy whatever works for you
I saw in your question that you said parents but this is not a parent : a loving parent isn't a narcissist one
They love you,care for you (and siblings if you have some )when you are sick,when you are low,when you are under physical and mental violence
They comfort you and play with you, go through everything with you
It's like being a unit )

Those are just my words (i hope i am not saying hurtful things with my words
Tell me if i am ^^')
Idk if this helps
But i wish you the best
Stay strong !
(And i will delete this comment probably later cause of my agoraphobia )