I'll go check those out. I don't have social media except for youtube, but I have been watching the videos people post here which has opened my eyes a lot. I recently deleted my weverse and vlive accounts. I thought I was obsessed with bts, but then I became a fan of txt. at first I thought they were relatable and more genuine, but after learning everything about what goes on it's not hard to see something's wrong. while their songs are stuck in my head and I do admit I'm guilty of sometimes playing one of their songs, it's not as much as I used to before when I would listen 25/8 so that's an improvement. I do kinda get scared sometimes when I got to sleep because I've had a couple really weird/creepy kpop dreams that seem very realistic. though those were last year. I haven't had a dream in a while so it surprised me. for the past year I've just lost interest in everything. my mental health isn't the best because of family issues, masturbation addiction, suicide/sh, etc. and kpop (mostly bts/txt) was the only thing that made me happy. I tend to daydream a lot as a way to escape reality (a lot of my past daydreams were related to kpop in some way). that's probably one of the only things keeping me somewhat mentally stable. I keep telling myself that they don’t actually care about me and they’re fake but even then I still subconsciously daydream about them. so the hardest part for me is getting rid of the emotional dependence and parasocial relationships I have on them. I’m really lonely and have no one to open up to about anything except for my pillow and stuffed animals, or the imaginary people I make up in my head (I have no friends and my family thinks I’m a
dumb
lazy
ungrateful
brat that doesn’t have feelings because I’m only 13
). so I’ve been trying to pray more and connect with God again because I know only He can truly free me from everything but it’s really difficult for me to be consistent in worship. but I guess it’s gonna take time and effort. sorry for the mini vent. thank you for the advice! you’re really sweet. it’s really assuring to me knowing that you and others could get out of kpop. God bless you (and everyone else too)!