Would you date an ugly man?

[Spades]

"went all femme fatale"? lol I was simply expessing my views, crazy to do that on a forum right?

No... you're not crazy for expressing your views. At all. You have feelings for her though. Right?

 

[morita]

No... you're not crazy for expressing your views. At all. You have feelings for her though. Right?

First off, you're taking this thread waaay too seriously.
Second, you quoted an other post I wrote about victim blaming and the treatment of r*pe victims by stating that somehow it gives me less credentials to talk about those issues. They're not correlated so that's asinine.

You're actually proving my point about [white] feminism. It's more about policing what other women are saying and doing rather than acually challenging systems of power. Why? Because white women think they are the gatekeepers to feminism, talk about entitlement and privilege.

And if we're gonna quote other threads, you accused Brie Larson of diminishing the movement with her tweet, and went on a tangeant on how you suffered more. How is that not tarnishing every thing you said about supporting women then if we're gonna look at it from this prism?
Obviously I'm not Brie Larson and I can't speak for her, but if she made a tweet saying she felt uncomfortable in that moment, who am I to say "it's not valid". Allies like Brie Larson imperfectly sending the right message don't make other forms of pro-women activism meaningless.

People have this sliding scale in mind about what constitutes a really 'serious' infraction and even during the metoo debacle victims of harassement and catcalling were basically told by other women to shut up because some women had it worse aka they had been raped or assaulted. How is it taking away from what you've experienced when other women are telling their stories?

As for your second question, I do'nt know if you're trying to insult me by using lesbian as an insult or if you're joking. Either way it's lame.

 

[sickgirl15]

would you date a man that has good qualities yet is objectcively unattractive or goofy looking. Could you really get past this?

No, I would absolutely NEVER date a man who I found to be unattractive/goofy looking. I definitely could NEVER get past the unchangeable reality that I was not physically attracted to him. My boyfriend (in my opinion) is both physically handsome (which leads to him being SEXUALLY attractive to me, so I desire to be sexually intimate with him DEEPLY; (he literally makes me scream from passion and arousal when we are having sex because I am turned on by him so so strong and intensely), AND I love the way he expresses himself verbally, he’s super intelligent, both street and book smart, and I am literally never bored intellectually when we are together! He stimulates my mind fabulously as well as my body! So, those 2 main components MUST be present if I am going to be attracted to a man in an intimate relationship. I MUST find him both sexually attractive, and he MUST satisfy my intellect: I love his sick, crazy sense of humor, his overall intelligence, open mindedness, rebelliousness, the fact that he’s a free thinker, he has an entrepreneurial, independent spirit, is spiritual, strong minded, tough, fun, and I find it exhilarating to be around him! I will not settle for less because life is too short for me to live a lie and not have the pleasure of experiencing a fulfilling and satisfying relationship with a man/woman/trans person (I identify as pansexual, but have been in a relationship with a man for a few years now). I definitely am aware that no human being is perfect, (“perfect” people just do NOT exist), and do not expect “perfection,” (goodness knows I am DEFINITELY not “perfect;” no person is, and I definitely accept his faults as he accepts mine. It’s important for me to weigh up the positive aspects of a potential partner as well as the negative before getting too involved with them intimately, BUT, people are always capable of changing (for the better, or for the worse if they choose to), so nothing is really “set in stone” except for the person’s physical appearance; that’s my opinion

 

[morita]

No, I would absolutely NEVER date a man who I found to be unattractive/goofy looking. I definitely could NEVER get past the unchangeable reality that I was not physically attracted to him. My boyfriend (in my opinion) is both physically handsome (which leads to him being SEXUALLY attractive to me, so I desire to be sexually intimate with him DEEPLY; (he literally makes me scream from passion and arousal when we are having sex because I am turned on by him so so strong and intensely), AND I love the way he expresses himself verbally, he’s super intelligent, both street and book smart, and I am literally never bored intellectually when we are together! He stimulates my mind fabulously as well as my body! So, those 2 main components MUST be present if I am going to be attracted to a man in an intimate relationship. I MUST find him both sexually attractive, and he MUST satisfy my intellect: I love his sick, crazy sense of humor, his overall intelligence, open mindedness, rebelliousness, the fact that he’s a free thinker, he has an entrepreneurial, independent spirit, is spiritual, strong minded, tough, fun, and I find it exhilarating to be around him! I will not settle for less because life is too short for me to live a lie and not have the pleasure of experiencing a fulfilling and satisfying relationship with a man/woman/trans person (I identify as pansexual, but have been in a relationship with a man for a few years now). I definitely am aware that no human being is perfect, (“perfect” people just do NOT exist), and do not expect “perfection,” (goodness knows I am DEFINITELY not “perfect;” no person is, and I definitely accept his faults as he accepts mine. It’s important for me to weigh up the positive aspects of a potential partner as well as the negative before getting too involved with them intimately, BUT, people are always capable of changing (for the better, or for the worse if they choose to), so nothing is really “set in stone” except for the person’s physical appearance; that’s my opinion

Amen to that, it's ridiculous and naive to think physical appearance doesn't play a part in whether or not you're attracted to someone.

"Life is too short to date ugly men" Put that on a shirt.

 

[morita]

Give Ugly Men a Chance

You better get ready for this one. Read my lips... get yourself an ugly man. You heard what I said. Get an ugly man or somebody that just looks

steveharvey.com

No wonder a misogynist like Steve Harvey would say something like this...

 

[Cintra]

How about ugly women?

Should they be datable? Or are they to be cast onto the reject pile and doomed to a life of loneliness too?

Should there be a law that forbids the ugly or the visually unacceptable to have relationships, so they don't spread their intolerable ugliness to another generation?

Who will set the standard for beauty and ugliness so that these rules can be enforced?

What happens if someone was beautiful, but then has an accident or illness that leaves them disfigured?
Should they be forced to leave their beautiful partner, so they don't corrupt them with their unacceptable appearance?
Should they be forced to give up their beautiful children, so that their lives are not spoiled by having an ugly parent?

 

[weskrongden]

How about ugly women?

Should they be datable? Or are they to be cast onto the reject pile and doomed to a life of loneliness too?

Should there be a law that forbids the ugly or the visually unacceptable to have relationships, so they don't spread their intolerable ugliness to another generation?

Who will set the standard for beauty and ugliness so that these rules can be enforced?

What happens if someone was beautiful, but then has an accident or illness that leaves them disfigured?
Should they be forced to leave their beautiful partner, so they don't corrupt them with their unacceptable appearance?
Should they be forced to give up their beautiful children, so that their lives are not spoiled by having an ugly parent?

There's someone for everyone. I've seen beautiful women date goofy looking guys. But in most cases you should be realistic and date people in your looks range, unless you're wealthy.

 

[Sunshine]

I never used the word feminist on this forum to talk about myself but thanks for putting words in my mouth.

I don't identify with feminism because it only serves the interests of white women.
White women may be oppressed, but they also benefit from the system from being white. So they're not inerested in challenging systems of power. In fact they reproduce the very same power dynamics inside the movement. Yall are litteraly parroting men and their respectability politics. "Men can't tell you what to do, that's MY job" - white feminists, so yall don't need me to give you a bad name.
And even if I did call myself a feminist, it would not mean every thing I post on here is a feminist statement.

Hey Morita, I am curious why you think feminism "only serves the interests of white women"? I don't consider myself a "feminist" in the sense of being an activist, but I certainly am interested in the empowerment of all women and girls, of all races/ethnicities/nationalities to live in this world without fear, have the freedom to set goals for themselves and achieve success. If you were to ask any woman anywhere who was interested in seeing those ideas grow into reality, she would never say "Except for black chicks." or "Except for brown chicks."

What is it about the movement that has you feeling disenfranchised? Is it the airtime? I know that, historically speaking, the dinguses who program what we see on tv have given the issue, its leaders and its adherents, the least amount of airtime that they could get away with. The ladies who have been shown to us, like Gloria Steinem, Betty Freidan and today's modern Hollywierd actresses, for sure they are higher up in the socio-economic ladder. But, from a practical standpoint, that's what gives them the opportunity to speak out in the first place. Their economic self-suffiency, even freedom to invest the time and their energy in project after project, while the rest of us out here paying our bills. Just because you don't see them in that limited coverage, doesn't mean that black and brown women aren't invited, included, involved, indispensible.

This struggle has been going on, at least officially, since the Suffragette movement in the 1840's. That battle wasn't won until 1920--almost 80 years later! If you do some research, you'll see that there is a huge overlap in the activities of the Women's Rights and Civil Rights movements. They go hand in hand. And neither movement looks to be running out of reasons to exist any time soon.

Woman's Suffrage History Timeline - Women's Rights National Historical Park (U.S. National Park Service)

www.nps.gov

If you feel like you have to decide between fighting for more respect because of your skin color, or fighting for more respect as a woman, I say, eff that. You don't have to choose. We are all fighting for you to be respected, as a human being.

 

[Aero]

We're not triggered, you're triggered.

Being ugly is kind of like a disability though. Would you make fun of a guy in a wheelchair?

 

[elsbet]

would you date a man that has good qualities yet is objectcively unattractive or goofy looking. Could you really get past this?

I don't think someone can be objectively unattractive, tbh. For example-- we see these beautiful women dating or marrying older, wealthy men-- or just wealthy men-- who seem unattractive by comparison----> mismatched. People will say, O she married him for the money! Very often, though, Wealth comes with Power... and I wonder if that combination (and maybe, a magnetic personality to boot) creates an authentic attraction. That is... the Melanias of the world think their personal Donald is Hot!

But I don't believe I would date someone I found unattractive-- and that isn't just an aesthetic evaluation, for me (and likely, many others). If you've ever been with someone you initially found swoonworthy, then learned of his terrible (let's say) character flaws-- then you know how easy it is to see that same face as downright ugly.

Interesting topic, morita.

 

[morita]

We're not triggered, you're triggered.

yet here you are, getting all emotional about a question that wasn't aimed at you (I asked women if they would date an ugly man).

 

[Dalit]

would you date a man that has good qualities yet is objectcively unattractive or goofy looking. Could you really get past this?

Yes, and have.

If he's intelligent and can stimulate my mind, what he looks like matters less and less. And is kind. Kindness goes a long way.

Give it a try. You might like it. Having a type is overrated anyway. ;-)

 

[Vixy]

I don't think someone can be objectively unattractive, tbh. For example-- we see these beautiful women dating or marrying older, wealthy men-- or just wealthy men-- who seem unattractive by comparison----> mismatched. People will say, O she married him for the money! Very often, though, Wealth comes with Power... and I wonder if that combination (and maybe, a magnetic personality to boot) creates an authentic attraction. That is... the Melanias of the world think their personal Donald is Hot!

But I don't believe I would date someone I found unattractive-- and that isn't just an aesthetic evaluation, for me (and likely, many others). If you've ever been with someone you initially found swoonworthy, then learned of his terrible (let's say) character flaws-- then you know how easy it is to see that same face as downright ugly.

Interesting topic, morita.

Wait a minute..Did you just call Donnie ugly? I think he's dashing! I mean he's 6" and built. His face is very symmetrical so yes, I'd defo say hes attractive and the way he carries himself adds to it. Like he knows he IS somebody. A bit of difference next to the men who crouch like a little insect "Please dont look at me"

next to:

The pride with which he carries himself!

 

[Kung Fu]

Lol at this thread.

 

[Kung Fu]

For whatever it's worth (I'm a 9/10 in looks lol). I don't believe there are "ugly" people. If you take care of yourself like staying in shape, eating right, being a good person, taking showers, and etc. you'll look good or decent. Also, who one person finds ugly someone else might find attractive. One person's trash is another person's gold.

 

[elsbet]

Wait a minute..Did you just call Donnie ugly? I think he's dashing! I mean he's 6" and built. His face is very symmetrical so yes, I'd defo say hes attractive and the way he carries himself adds to it. Like he knows he IS somebody. A bit of difference next to the men who crouch like a little insect "Please dont look at me"

next to:

The pride with which he carries himself!

I didn't say he was ugly.

I do enjoy the effect he has on the liberally inclined though... *warm/fuzzy*

 

[Tidal]

In my opinion facial features have got very little to do with what makes a person "ugly". For example these are what make a woman unattractive to me personally-
She smokes
Her hair is too short
She wears hideous flat shoes
She's a hardboiled feminist
She likes nagging
She's not Christian
She's not white
But worst of all she's just downright-

 

[Infinityloop]

She's not white

What?

 

[Carrieh76]

if you give someone a shot past looks and they have a great personality and the qualities you are looking for, they change and they start being the appearance you want too. It’s odd but neat!

 

[morita]

For whatever it's worth (I'm a 9/10 in looks lol).

lol probably 9/10 in modesty too

I don't believe there are "ugly" people. If you take care of yourself like staying in shape, eating right, being a good person, taking showers, and etc. you'll look good or decent. Also, who one person finds ugly someone else might find attractive. One person's trash is another person's gold.

Majority of men don't even do this, they just don't workout, stay in shape or dress nicely, yet expect to hang around models.