Would you date a broke man?

[Lurker]

@morita
I forgot, you always take the "high road"

I thought it was the High Horse.

 

[morita]

Finally, who cares who makes more money? It doesn't really matter.
So long as someone is working, and paying the bills.
I've seen different setups and seemingly odd couples, if it works for them, it works for them.
Some women are better outside the house, income earners, and some guys are better suited at more domesticated tasks.
Your views are very antiquated. Lol!!!

If someone is broke because they have debts and don't live within their means they're probably irresponsible too.

 

[morita]

And if both of those people can't manage their money, then they are definitely in for some hard times!!

So money matters all of the sudden LOL. Predictable.

 

[morita]

If you want a rich husband, don't date a writer.

Wait
How did you become rich then if not by your amazing writing?..

 

[Bent8484]

That’s what you call it?

Well, she's a woman, and she has issues, so...

 

[Bent8484]

Wait
How did you become rich then if not by your amazing writing?..

Hard work. In short bursts, and at prices I set, because I'm no sucker for wage slavery.

If you're good at what you do and you don't slack off, money just happens.

(And I'm definitely not wealthy anymore, but I can say I'm comfortable. My spending used to be a bit of a problem, when I was single, but that's not an issue now that I have different life goals - artistic pursuits and spiritual practice don't cost very much.)

Y'know, multiple people here, of various genders, have given you anecdotal evidence of successful relationships that are based on cooperation and teamwork regardless of income or wealth difference, and you keep arguing against it... against the experiences of literally everyone else here. I'm sorry you've clearly had bad experiences, but maybe, instead of telling us that our daily lives are impossible, you should reconsider based on that evidence, and realize that it's not so bad for everyone...some make it work, there's hope there.

 

[Dtrizzle2091]

I think it’s worth me clarifying (not that I particularly care what anyone on here thinks of me(sorry not sorry)). That when I said many broke men play the victim card, I should’ve said people, not men, but I’ve seen it more in men simply because...I’m a heterosexual female. When I say I wouldn’t date a broke man, I’m basing this on the generalization that broke=lazy, irresponsible, wimpy etc., not the outlier.

And honestly what’s so bad about being a woman dude? We have vaginas and boobs and brains and work ethic. We can be the trophy wife and the CEO. We have options. The sooner the female race realizes that good (not these sorry excuses we see these days) men will always want to biologically provide for us and protect us, the better. The sooner women realize that, YEAH, generally, young men are going to consider your fertility (this is usually subconscious) because HOLY SHIT women are the key to life!!!! We are the most sacred, cherished beings on this earth and should be treated as such. I could get into the science behind this statement but I really don’t think anyone cares.

 

[polymoog]

Y'know, multiple people here, of various genders, have given you anecdotal evidence of successful relationships that are based on cooperation and teamwork regardless of income or wealth difference, and you keep arguing against it.

morita: your problem is that you do not understand that a man who has money does not necessarily mean they are great providers. although you are asking about men who are mature and financially stable, you come off as a gold digger on a thread like this.

from reading several of your posts, you have been around far too many weak minded, apathetic, low- willpower men (of which there surely is an abundance these days, thanks to soy), and therefore have made gross generalizations about men in general.

you are in dire need of a strong man who can provide for you as well as challenge you intellectually. i hope that one day you find that guy.

 

[Dtrizzle2091]

morita: your problem is that you do not understand that a man who has money does not necessarily mean they are great providers.

So true^^^

you have been around far too many weak minded, apathetic, low- willpower men (of which there surely is an abundance these days, thanks to soy),
^^^ROFL (is that still a thing?)

 

[Kung Fu]

If the man makes more money than the wife than you complain that's not fair and it's because of the patriarchy. But yet in this thread you seem to want to be with a man that makes more and can provide for you.

You're confusing me.

 

[Dtrizzle2091]

Or maybe you've worked a lot of dead-end jobs.

I don’t buy it. A full time employee making 15$ an hour (minimum wage here) still makes roughly 2Gs per month after taxes. Factor in your rent, health insurance, car insurance, cell phone bill, groceries, gas etc., you still have 3-400 to save each month. It’s all about making good choices financially and personally.

 

[free2018]

I don’t buy it. A full time employee making 15$ an hour (minimum wage here) still makes roughly 2Gs per month after taxes. Factor in your rent, health insurance, car insurance, cell phone bill, groceries, gas etc., you still have 3-400 to save each month. It’s all about making good choices financially and personally.

Bro, I deleted my comment.

 

[Dtrizzle2091]

Bro, I deleted my comment.

Son of a

 

[free2018]

Son of a

?

 

[Lisa]

And honestly what’s so bad about being a woman dude? We have vaginas and boobs and brains and work ethic. We can be the trophy wife and the CEO. We have options. The sooner the female race realizes that good (not these sorry excuses we see these days) men will always want to biologically provide for us and protect us, the better. The sooner women realize that, YEAH, generally, young men are going to consider your fertility (this is usually subconscious) because HOLY SHIT women are the key to life!!!! We are the most sacred, cherished beings on this earth and should be treated as such. I could get into the science behind this statement but I really don’t think anyone cares.

Men and women have different roles in life...we need to go back to respecting that.

 

[Dtrizzle2091]

?

You know? Like Chris Farley in Tommy Boy? ‍

 

[free2018]

You know? Like Chris Farley in Tommy Boy? ‍

No worries. I understand.

 

[justjess]

Come one, you're not that stupid. You understand damn well how systemic oppression works. You know women don't have the power to systemically oppress men or objectify them. You want to keep believeing in your ideal world where men and women are equal because you're a sellout, period.
You've admitted yourself you prefere men to women, so you're probably one of these pickmes who care more about coddling male ego than anything.

Yes I do understand how systemic oppression works. I also understand that anything MACRO starts at the MICRO. Emulating your oppressors and taking on the traits you don’t like in them for yourself... what does that make you? My ideal world will never exist and you have about zero goddamn clue what it would even look like cuz you don’t know me. Right?

I’m a sell out for what? Being a strong woman who is capable and willing to take care of myself? Who chooses her partners (or really just partner) based on what we had in common and could build together rather then on the shitty hand he was dealt in life in compared to mine? If you don’t like the mirror being reflected back on you then don’t start conversations that you had to know would recieve the responses you got.

And yeah, I prefer men’s company. Sorry, not sorry. Women for some reason tend to be catty Passive aggressive and vindictive. I don’t have patience for it.

I don’t buy it. A full time employee making 15$ an hour (minimum wage here) still makes roughly 2Gs per month after taxes. Factor in your rent, health insurance, car insurance, cell phone bill, groceries, gas etc., you still have 3-400 to save each month. It’s all about making good choices financially and personally.

where the hell do you live that the minimum wage is 15$/hour and rent isn’t Atleast $1500 per month?

 

[morita]

Y'know, multiple people here, of various genders, have given you anecdotal evidence of successful relationships that are based on cooperation and teamwork regardless of income or wealth difference, and you keep arguing against it... against the experiences of literally everyone else here. I'm sorry you've clearly had bad experiences, but maybe, instead of telling us that our daily lives are impossible, you should reconsider based on that evidence, and realize that it's not so bad for everyone...some make it work, there's hope there.

I personally think the financial stress is not worth it. I would rather stay alone and fend for myself than be with someone who's broke or earns less than I do. And besides from you, other people didn't give anecdotal evidence but rather emotional diatribes about assuming that a relationship where a man is higher earning is inevitably about exchanging sex for money. As if hetero dating was always like prostitution. Which it was, or is? because at the end of the day it's about exchanging the same things though, so it's really not that different. Or maybe times are changing slowly. But for a long time, women had no other choice to survive (they weren't allowed to work) than sell their body to a man=the socially acceptable form of prostiution which we call marriage. Or sell her body to several men, which was called as it is and was deemd degrading, then and now. It's a bleak picture but that's what it was (and still is in many different countries). Money has always been used as a way to keep women below men in society. Men have more access to high paying jobs. Navigating a male-dominated field is still very new for women, because until recently we were still relegated to subordinate jobs or being a housewife. Men having easier access to money, it makes sense that they should be the providers, until women are on an equal playing field.
One thing I noticed is there seems to be an anti-feminist (I don't really like to call myself a feminist because I don't want to be associated with white feminsts but I identify with feminism as a concept for female advencement) sentiment that's really pervasive on the VC forums, because they follow everything VC says. And since VC said feminism is bad, they will believe it without a second thought. But here is the thing, these radical women empowerement movement will never reach enough momentum to actually change anything because not enough women are joigning them. (At the end of the day, women can get raped, abused and harassed, they still want to believe the majority of men are intrinsically good.)

 

[Bent8484]

I personally think the financial stress is not worth it. I would rather stay alone and fend for myself than be with someone who's broke or earns less than I do. And besides from you, other people didn't give anecdotal evidence but rather emotional diatribes about assuming that a relationship where a man is higher earning is inevitably about exchanging sex for money. As if hetero dating was always like prostitution. Which it iwas, or is? because at the end of the day it's about exchanging the same things though, so it's really not that different. It's really not that different if you think about it, or maybe times are changing slowly. But for a long time, women had no other choice to survive (they weren't allowed to work) than sell their body to a man=the socially acceptable form of prostiution which we call marriage. Or sell her body to several men, which was called as it is and was deemd degrading, then and now. It's a bleak picture but that's what it was (and still is in many different countries). Money has always been used as a way to keep women below men in society. Men have more access to high paying jobs. Navigating a male-dominated field is still very new for women, because until recently we were still relegated to subordinate jobs or being a housewife. Men having easier access to money, it makes sense that they should be the providers, until women are on an equal playing field.
One thing I noticed is there seems to be an anti-feminist (I don't really like to call myself a feminist because I don't want to be associated with white feminsts but I identify with feminism as a concept for female advencement) sentiment that's really pervasive on the VC forums, because they follow everything VC says. And since VC said feminism is bad, they will believe it without a second thought. But here is the thing, these radical women empowerement movement will never rich enough momentum to actually change anything because not enough women are joigning them. (At the end of the day, women can get raped, abused and harassed, they still want to believe the majority of men are intrinsically good.)

See, that's a good example right there...on the issue of feminism, you came down in the middle... you saw the colonial attitudes of white academic feminism on one end, VC's kneejerk reaction to a movement he doesn't fully understand on the other end (and yes, male fragility may be a factor - no reason to think he's immune), and concluded that the truth is somewhere in the middle.

A relationship, regardless of gender or cultural roles, can be viewed from different angles - a zero sum game power dynamic, or a drive to achieve shared goals. Our culture pushes one view on us, but we can still choose the other.

And yeah, it's a rough world, getting rougher. Most "decent" people aren't so decent under pressure. Most aren't very good partners, by the metric of their moral character, and can even cause harm. But in a world like that, it can really help if you find someone you can trust to team up with, however rare they may be. (And I'm not saying you should feel limited by cultural norms there either - love is love.)