What Is Salafism?

[Haich]

Actually @mecca , countries like my motherland (Somalia) many women are desperate for a husband as they don't have the means to escape the loop of poverty they're born into, especially in rural villages.

Thankfully, things are changing and the younger female generations are in education and some are even working but not everyone has the means to pay for school or university. So marriage is a form of escapism but also a lifeline for those stricken with poverty...

So in a bid to lessen the burden of their families, women marry young and sometimes marry older men as an older man is equated with stability and status. They also believe that a man who is already married has the experience and expertise to run a home, so they're more than willing to 'share' him if he's proven to the community, that his first wife and established family were a success.

Honestly, it's not common at all and of course the vast majority of people are either in normal marriages or happily single, but polygamy is still present in these communities which are alien to the westernised mind.

When we view things from a western mindset it's easy to dismiss how polygamy can help isolated communities. The truth is we're just up to ours in privilege and luxury we just don't have a clue how rotten things are for the vast majority of the world.

 

[Haich]

But her reply is still valid, as it relates to many Muslims in the US as well as other western nations. In fact it is more relevant than not. Which Muslims on this thread are NOT from western nations?

Previous Muslims like GIF weren't from western nations

 

[Haich]

Polygamy is pretty much unheard of in the U.K. unless you have refugees who've settled here and have families back home and married new women here. The amount is so minuscule in comparison to the vast majority...

 

[Lady]

Previous Muslims like GIF weren't from western nations

Well, he is not looking for a husband last I heard! Is Mauritius a polygamous nation?
It seems as though the women on this thread are the ones who are vocal here. The majority do not promote polygamy-yes, these are of western thought, I grant you that.

 

[Haich]

Well, he is not looking for a husband last I heard!

I certainly hope not!

 

[Kung Fu]

But her reply is still valid, as it relates to many Muslims in the US as well as other western nations. In fact it is more relevant than not. Which Muslims on this thread are NOT from western nations?

"Not all women want to marry, most women don't need a husband."

^That's a general statement and no where do I see the "West" or "US" in that sentence. Please read accordingly before trying to correct me.

 

[Haich]

Lol "husbandless women" how is it a problem though?

I think DS was referring to women who want husbands but can't find any. There's definitely more women looking to settle down than there is men available...

Many of my friends have been looking for marriage for years and they're pressing 30. There's no rush, but it's discouraging as men are either gay, married already or juvenile minded. I don't want to be cliche and say the good ones are taken but they probably are

So polygamy is an option for those who may want kids for instance and are getting older but no closer to finding someone

 

[Haich]

Well, he is not looking for a husband last I heard! Is Mauritius a polygamous nation?
It seems as though the women on this thread are the ones who are vocal here. The majority do not promote polygamy-yes, these are of western thought, I grant you that.

I don't think there's such thing as a 'polygamous nation' as polygamy is not common in Muslim communities, but if it's a Muslim country the laws will allow consensual polygamy.

Sure, I don't personally advocate for it because it's of no benefit to me and many millions of women who will not entertain the idea of her husband being with another woman!

However, it works for some people- however odd it may sound to me, I've met women back home who love it.

 

[Lady]

"Not all women want to marry, most women don't need a husband."

^That's a general statement and no where do I see the "West" or "US" in that sentence. Please read accordingly before trying to correct me.

Ok, ok! Uncle!

 

[Lady]

I don't think there's such thing as a 'polygamous nation' as polygamy is not common in Muslim communities, but if it's a Muslim country the laws will allow consensual polygamy.

Sure, I don't personally advocate for it because it's of no benefit to me and many millions of women who will not entertain the idea of her husband being with another woman!

However, it works for some people- however odd it may sound to me, I've met women back home who love it.

Interesting. Is it strictly for practical reasons, then? Childcare, chores and cooking would certainly be easier shared with another.
The marriage bed is where I think Christians and other westerners have a problem with polygamy.
It goes against the biblical example of one man-one woman covenant that was set at the creation. Not to mention the spiritual Union depicted in the NT between Christ and His bride. (Ok, the church is made up of many brides, but this is spiritually speaking).

 

[DesertRose]

The marriage bed is where I think Christians and other westerners have a problem with polygamy.

Whaaaaaa?
They are entitled to a different domicile......!
No one can share a bed with a man and his wife.
A woman is not allowed to see the privates of another woman unless she is her doctor.
Do Mormons share a bed?

 

[Haich]

Interesting. Is it strictly for practical reasons, then? Childcare, chores and cooking would certainly be easier shared with another.
The marriage bed is where I think Christians and other westerners have a problem with polygamy.
It goes against the biblical example of one man-one woman covenant that was set at the creation. Not to mention the spiritual Union depicted in the NT between Christ and His bride. (Ok, the church is made up of many brides, but this is spiritually speaking).

It depends, I mean polygamy helps women escape poverty in rural villages in my home country, is it recommended? No. Do Islamic scholars encourage it? No. It's an option for those who feel it's for them.

Unfortunately, it's abused by many people and if I'm frank, sex-crazed men take advantage of this option and try to justify the abandonment of their first wife and family (which isn't permissible). I've seen the breakdown of families in my community due to polygamy and I don't blame the practice, I blame the men.

 

[Haich]

Well in polygamy I doubt they all share a bed! Probably take it in shifts?

 

[Lady]

It depends, I mean polygamy helps women escape poverty in rural villages in my home country, is it recommended? No. Do Islamic scholars encourage it? No. It's an option for those who feel it's for them.

Unfortunately, it's abused by many people and if I'm frank, sex-crazed men take advantage of this option and try to justify the abandonment of their first wife and family (which isn't permissible). I've seen the breakdown of families in my community due to polygamy and I don't blame the practice, I blame the men.

Thank you for not assuming that I meant all join together in the marriage bed. I should have said "beds" I guess to be perfectly clear.

 

[DesertRose]

Well in polygamy I doubt they all share a bed! Probably take it in shifts?

Separate rooms and Islamic jurisprudence entitles separate homes.

 

[Haich]

Separate rooms and Islamic jurisprudence entitles separate homes.

I know sis , was just messing around lol

 

[Lady]

Yes, there are the human aspects that come into play with this arrangement. This is sad for the 1st wives and families. It reminds me of the divorce situations I see around me. The kids feel this the worst and are the most scarred from the abandonment.
Oops, I am sure this still relates to the title thread somehow!

 

[DesertRose]

I know sis , was just messing around lol

 

[Lady]

Whaaaaaa?
They are entitled to a different domicile......!
No one can share a bed with a man and his wife.
A woman is not allowed to see the privates of another woman unless she is her doctor.
Do Mormons share a bed?

I do not know about those Mormons-I run from that religion. I think that most of the polygamy is practiced in Utah, which is the "Home of the Mormons," so to speak.

 

[Haich]

True, a relative of mine whose an older lady, in her late 50s, she has 4 kids. The youngest is 15 I think...

Her husband went behind her back, travelled back to Somalia and married another woman. She had no idea and immediately kicked him out of the house.

Was there any reason to break down his first marriage? On the surface, no. I think he just wanted to trade her in for a younger model.

This is what makes polygamy tricky.