was I on the verge of disassociation?

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I keep remembering things that my ex-husband would do to me and our kids, like it will hit me like a ton of bricks. One thing I remembered while I was working today was that he would try to convince me that he and our sons had died and I imagined them in my head as a coping mechanism. And that I was actually in a mental institution and that my parents were actually nurses.
 

Maes17

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Maybe.
Traumatized mind? I'd take a guess easy to manipulate
 

Lonk

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I feel like you made this thread before...Not joking around, did you delete it? Anyway, you might have been, but the fact you recognize it means you can stop it. I experience severe dissociation (not MPD type, just your typical everyday dissociation turned up to 1,000) sometimes where I'll be so lost in thought and what I'm imagining that I treat people IRL differently and have trouble realizing I'm in reality. I.e. I play a lot of video games and sometimes I'll get so lost in thinking about them that I'll walk out and greet my husband and move my hands as if I'm selecting dialogue options. Or I'll think of what dialogue to choose in conversations I come up with, completely forgetting that people IRL do not, in fact, have 3 dialogue choices to choose from. (This is different from me imagining conversations and trying to figure out what the best thing to say is. Similar, except in these cases I'm thinking of them as humans and not NPCs.)
 

Maes17

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I've been rather over caffeinated lately.
Back on a pre workout.

Just kinda reminded me of that disassociated feeling.
 
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I feel like you made this thread before...Not joking around, did you delete it? Anyway, you might have been, but the fact you recognize it means you can stop it. I experience severe dissociation (not MPD type, just your typical everyday dissociation turned up to 1,000) sometimes where I'll be so lost in thought and what I'm imagining that I treat people IRL differently and have trouble realizing I'm in reality. I.e. I play a lot of video games and sometimes I'll get so lost in thinking about them that I'll walk out and greet my husband and move my hands as if I'm selecting dialogue options. Or I'll think of what dialogue to choose in conversations I come up with, completely forgetting that people IRL do not, in fact, have 3 dialogue choices to choose from. (This is different from me imagining conversations and trying to figure out what the best thing to say is. Similar, except in these cases I'm thinking of them as humans and not NPCs.)
Nope, this was my first thread. I agree. I don't feel I am completely lost. I am in my right mind and everything, but I feel if I had stayed in that relationship I would have been severely traumatized.
 

Glad 2 know

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So sorry to hear that Coraline. It sounds like you were in an abusive relationship and those types of relationships can and will damage your heart, mind and spirit, literally. It will cause some kind of disorders of the mind, some will be mild and some will be more severe depending on different factors. Most of all it will cause PTSD, please look into it. You really need some emotional and psychological HEALING. A lot of women will leave abusive relationships without seeking some kind of treatment for the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder brought on by the abuse. I encourage you to read material on how to heal from toxic relationships and address your PTSD. Take some time to pamper yourself and do some of the things mentioned in the other thread Managing stress -How??

The faulty relationship was NOT your fault. Don't blame yourself, empower yourself. Read and inform yourself so you don't ever get into another relationship like that. Most of the time the other person in the relationship might be suffering from a personality disorder, may it be narcissistic, borderline, histrionic. Do research on these and inform yourself. But first please heal your emotional/psychological wounds.
 
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So sorry to hear that Coraline. It sounds like you were in an abusive relationship and those types of relationships can and will damage your heart, mind and spirit, literally. It will cause some kind of disorders of the mind, some will be mild and some will be more severe depending on different factors. Most of all it will cause PTSD, please look into it. You really need some emotional and psychological HEALING. A lot of women will leave abusive relationships without seeking some kind of treatment for the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder brought on by the abuse. I encourage you to read material on how to heal from toxic relationships and address your PTSD. Take some time to pamper yourself and do some of the things mentioned in the other thread Managing stress -How??

The faulty relationship was NOT your fault. Don't blame yourself, empower yourself. Read and inform yourself so you don't ever get into another relationship like that. Most of the time the other person in the relationship might be suffering from a personality disorder, may it be narcissistic, borderline, histrionic. Do research on these and inform yourself. But first please heal your emotional/psychological wounds.
Thank you! I am trying to heal. The thoughts of what I went through and still blaming myself are things I deal with daily. I think if it carried on I would have broken. Or he would have killed us.
 

Glad 2 know

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Thank you! I am trying to heal. The thoughts of what I went through and still blaming myself are things I deal with daily. I think if it carried on I would have broken. Or he would have killed us.
Oh Coraline I'm sorry to hear that but work toward not blaming yourself. You entered the relationship in good faith, not knowing your S.O. had big issues. That's the thing about those with personality disorders, they show they're so nice and "normal" and they show that very nice side of them to lure you but then when they have you, their true personality surfaces. You cannot blame yourself for that, but now you have valuable info that you can share with others so they know not to get into those kind of destructive relationships. You have learned from that painful experience and now you can teach others to avoid it.
 
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Oh Coraline I'm sorry to hear that but work toward not blaming yourself. You entered the relationship in good faith, not knowing your S.O. had big issues. That's the thing about those with personality disorders, they show they're so nice and "normal" and they show that very nice side of them to lure you but then when they have you, their true personality surfaces. You cannot blame yourself for that, but now you have valuable info that you can share with others so they know not to get into those kind of destructive relationships. You have learned from that painful experience and now you can teach others to avoid it.
That is so true. Ladies and gents, if the person you are dating or thinking of dating sounds way too good to be true they probably are. Ik once I started having feelings, and he made sure I did, that's when things started getting strange. And it was covert, and little by little at first, until it was blatant and full on torture towards the end. My advice is to always keep your head on straight when you are falling in love too fast. Take a step back and examine things and don't jump into things. Bc once this sort of person has you living with them, it becomes so much more difficult.
 

Salem

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That is so true. Ladies and gents, if the person you are dating or thinking of dating sounds way too good to be true they probably are. Ik once I started having feelings, and he made sure I did, that's when things started getting strange. And it was covert, and little by little at first, until it was blatant and full on torture towards the end. My advice is to always keep your head on straight when you are falling in love too fast. Take a step back and examine things and don't jump into things. Bc once this sort of person has you living with them, it becomes so much more difficult.
Wow, really well said. Reading this helped me too. Thank you.
 

Salem

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First of all, anybody normal who had that kind of stuff said to them would later suffer mental anguish. Those are extremely horrible things to say to someone and that was HIS choice to treat you in that shitty way. So you're a perfectly normal, feeling, thinking human being and you can throw my advice out the window - but I just wanted to say that ANYONE normal would have some kind of later reactions. In my opinion it could partly be your brain/mind/heart trying to make sense of it. And it may or may not be overall great to keep re-living it in your mind. That part I don't know because I'm still going through it too. I guess it's part of the healing process but it can be too much at times. That's where people have told me to try breaking that thought or "stuck" in a bad memory feeling (it may be flashbacks- I'm confused about the difference).

Some of the things that help me are to take a shower/bath/light a candle/play instrumental but neutral type music or nature sounds - if at home. All sensory things that will engage a different part of your brain. Watch something you are engrossed in that makes you normally feel better. Just go outside and look at the sky. The tree tops. Listen to the sounds. Go buy yourself something cute. At home you can even make up a basket that has stuff in it that is comforting - puzzle books, slippers, idk just some stuff that makes you feel better that you can grab if you feel really bad. Sometimes I just had to curl up in a ball on the floor (at home) and hug my knees till it subsided.

If possible exercising just routinely can help get rid of excess energy and help your whole nervous system. I think it might help also with feeling more in control and in touch with our own selves. I don't do this, lol, and I really really need to. I'm great at explaining it though, haha. I truly do think it can help though.

At the same time you can know it's just a normal reaction to very abnormal people - it's your brain/body trying to heal itself. If you can do therapy, (and be careful, there's lots of crap therapists but occasionally really good ones - listen to your self and quit a therapist asap if it feels at ALL not good) then I think the idea is to deal with bits of this in a controlled way when you are in a safe environment with a SAFE person. It has helped me a lot but not completely but with the right people it DID give me a lot of relief.
 

Maes17

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That is so true. Ladies and gents, if the person you are dating or thinking of dating sounds way too good to be true they probably are. Ik once I started having feelings, and he made sure I did, that's when things started getting strange. And it was covert, and little by little at first, until it was blatant and full on torture towards the end. My advice is to always keep your head on straight when you are falling in love too fast. Take a step back and examine things and don't jump into things. Bc once this sort of person has you living with them, it becomes so much more difficult.
The wife and I fell in love early.
She was 19 and I was 22 at the time. Late night mcdonalds runs after a night of video games and birds & the bees stuff.

We did everything together. That passion still runs strong 8 years later and a 5 year old kid to boot.

What helped us is we were pretty mature for our age. Til this day we hate hate drama.
Not perfect by any means, we've had arguments before.
Relationships are not so complicated in the grande scheme of things. Part of it is simplicity.

If you're not willing to be tied down yet, then your post is absolute truth and solid. But I do think people who fall in love early can sustain that relationship. Just be mature and realize faults etc exist
 

Haich

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This thread has come up multiple times before. People should seek psychiatric help instead of asking for personal advice on a public forum.
 

Glad 2 know

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That is so true. Ladies and gents, if the person you are dating or thinking of dating sounds way too good to be true they probably are. Ik once I started having feelings, and he made sure I did, that's when things started getting strange. And it was covert, and little by little at first, until it was blatant and full on torture towards the end. My advice is to always keep your head on straight when you are falling in love too fast. Take a step back and examine things and don't jump into things. Bc once this sort of person has you living with them, it becomes so much more difficult.
SOOO TRUE if the other person rushes you to do things you feel you aren't quite ready for then that's a BIG red flag. If the person truly cares about you, then he/she will respect your wishes and won't pressure you and rush you.

If they don't want to respect your slowing down then it's time to leave
 

Glad 2 know

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This thread has come up multiple times before. People should seek psychiatric help instead of asking for personal advice on a public forum.
A lot of the time, heartache is alleviated by talking about the unpleasant experiences with someone who is willing to listen and finding sympathy and compassion. The professionals don't need to step in all the time (depending on the situation)
 
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