Trans?

Incognito

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Jul 20, 2017
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I know a little bit about hurt. In a different way. I also know about looking in the wrong places to give me some type of hope or happiness. Im sorry you feel the way you do, but theres no surgery or magic spell that will fix all your problems and make everything ok. You may end up looking like a man but you wont ever be a man. This life can be a little cold, and there are some things we can either accept, or dont and allow it to eat us up. Whatever it is that youre looking for, youre not going to find it on an operating table.
Maybe or maybe not. It would be easier to look in the mirror and be okay with myself though.
 

polymoog

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Jun 17, 2017
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If I was a man and I was on a sinking ship, I wouldn't give a shit about anyone else besides me and my family and I would be the first one out.
the comment was solely for entertainment purposes only. any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited.
c.2017 polymoog. all rights reserved.
 

mecca

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the comment was solely for entertainment purposes only. any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited.
c.2017 polymoog. all rights reserved.
Yes, it was entertaining.
 
Joined
Jun 12, 2017
Messages
139
Alright. Just a suggestion, take a break from thinking about your body, your anxieties, your struggles, your pain, your family, your girlfriend, and even this world we live on. Sit down somewhere, and think deeply about what it is you want out of life, think about the bigger picture. No matter how long it takes. Cuz you seem to be lost at crossroads right now, and this may help you figure out where you want to go.
 

Incognito

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Alright. Just a suggestion, take a break from thinking about your body, your anxieties, your struggles, your pain, your family, your girlfriend, and even this world we live on. Sit down somewhere, and think deeply about what it is you want out of life, think about the bigger picture. No matter how long it takes. Cuz you seem to be lost at crossroads right now, and this may help you figure out where you want to go.
I've done that. I found God. But. Thank you. It means a lot that people want me to find peace
 

Fl-Fr-Fa

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Jun 5, 2017
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Hi Incognito,

What I say obviously will only be my opinion here, but has been touched on earlier in the thread and elsewhere. TBH, I’m fleshing these ideas out as I speak -- in my own life still. No, I am not trans – but I mean as far as approaching life as wholistically (I almost hate that word as it’s been "taken over" by New Agers, etc.) as possible. This is a “general discussion” section, but as mentioned below, maybe an extra forum section is needed for clarity/confusion on any appropriate topic :)

To me, life is a multi-layered and inter-related experience. How taking a wholistic approach ‘might’ relate here:

Spiritual – Did one decide before coming into this world on the experience they would have? In this case, did you take on this challenge for your sake, and for those around you for some higher purpose, an example is being a "male" in a "female body" and what does that look like whether surgery happens or not? Or conversely, is there a past/relative universe life as a male that either ‘made sense’ to you so much or even that you can’t let go of because of any negative experiences, so in that case it could be a previous trauma that needs to be healed before accepting the life you have right now?

Psychological – Related to the spiritual, but what feelings are you actually feeling and why [sitting with it and see what happens]. What does your inner identity/purpose say it is before being ‘fleshed out’ in your body. Is our psyche really male or female? What does male or female mean? Can we be both somehow? Have we [unfortunately] allowed other views to shape us in our experience, in ways that are “unhealthy” (whatever that is)? Were we affected in the womb with outside influences, just as there have been babies musically/scientifically taught during that time?

Physical – There is the big pharma issue for sure, as mentioned before in this thread. But also, how are things coded into our cells with the spiritual and psych. issues, childhood experiences, etc. Can recoding be done and how? Quantum physics – if a particle can exist in more than one place at the same time (double-slit experiment), then the story of our body or mind’s cells are somehow fleshing out our experiences. Not just the law of attraction of wishing something into existence (I hate that teaching too, sorry), but the energy of our cells are co-creating with God into our very experiences?

-----
I think possibly, there could be a ‘wholistic’ forum section for the purposes of seeing things from a more complete perspective, even if all the answers aren’t known yet. E.g. I have heard that when one heals from various physical ailments, that many psych. issues can be cleared up as well, or vice-versa (Dr. Christianne Northup has some examples in her medical practice); in my former Christian experience (I'm not Christian now, FYI), a doctor had reminded me of an example in scripture about God trying the ‘reins’, Jer. 17:10 (reins is “kidney” in the original language, and you will see that word on certain supplements in the health food store); and in Chinese medicine, the kidneys symbolize the “will” and “beliefs”. Further in Chinese medicine, there is the body clock (http://pathways4health.org/2010/03/04/the-chinese-body-clock-energy-patterns-through-24-hours/ )– where at certain times of day, there will be an emphasis on certain organs – e.g. if you wake up at the same time every night, it is possible that either a physical organ/system is going through something, needing some extra support AND/OR what that organ symbolizes can give a clue as to what is going on too. Another Bible example – “bowels of compassion”, where I used to work, we had found that many many people had intestinal issues; is it no wonder why there is so much war going on in the world [the golden rule being missed]? Another look at relatedness is Dr. Bernard Jensen’s graphics on the eye (http://joedubs.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Iridology-Simplified-Bernard-Jensen.pdf )and colon (http://www.naturalhealth365.com/images/intestines-chart.pdf )with the corresponding organs. I’ve also seen charts for teeth as well . . .

We tend to separate the various parts to our lives, and to some degree that is necessary for our minds to grasp a concept. However, if we are one being, whatever that means – then maybe, just maybe, we can look at something from what seems to be a different perspective, and yet it’s tackling the exact issue we want to address but from a different angle. So, how it relates to you, only you can figure the answer out, whatever it is, and it will feel right (even if the truth comes in bits at a time).

To me from a physical perspective – I am fairly confident that pharma is a huge problem, playing with all of our hormones! And it’s almost like, we need people with ‘abnormal’ hormonal issues to make and enforce the related laws [i.e. “big pharma, get the hell out of treating us like lab rats”] to deal with this, ha. I am half-joking here, but I am also serious – meaning, that your experience is valid and further, should be studied from a completely open, compassionate, and even logical approach because no-one knows the whole truth by him/herself and we need each other. If one part hurts, then the whole hurts, literally and figuratively. Also, we need the best of the best [including those who are just willing to think in their areas of expertise] of spirituality, science, philosophy, psychology, etc. to come together saying, i.e. “This is what we think is happening from this perspective – what does your group have to say that can confirm/deny this”. The discussion has to start somewhere, but if the concept is true that there is wholeness, then sooner or later, there will be a consensus that we can just see as truth being confirmed everywhere and without any preconceived agenda going into the quest – do we dare?

Like Haich said, and I agree, this specific topic is coming more to the fore as of late. Obviously, there are big agendas at play, e.g. the issues of hormones & feminism happening at the same time. In the health world, we would always ask the client – if you are experiencing a symptom, then how long has it been, and what was happening at the time prior which may have contributed to it (physically, foods, emotionally, familial/other relations, environmentally, etc. etc.).

It may take a bit of a miracle for something to happen, or 100th monkey syndrome where a revolution of sorts will happen (in my lifetime, who knows), but more along the lines of . . . “we just don’t need ‘this system of me-good and you-bad’ anymore because we are tired of it” and then we’ll just drop all of our weapons accordingly. I’ll quickly say, I am not matriarchal or patriarchal – and truly feel that the world if it will continue, will move into a meld of the two and we just don’t have a clue what that is going to look like yet. We need BOTH, in my humble opinion.

The micro and the macro is the same thing IMO – we just can’t see it yet . . . it’s as detailed or complex as you want it to be, but always works as a whole.

Sorry for being SO wordy, I hope I said something useful and understandable. I hope you find peace through your struggle.
 
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Apr 12, 2017
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Incognito,
Do you suppose that you are simply uniquely yourself, as we all are, and it is actually beliefs about gender that were formed early in life due to social pressures that are the source of your discomfort? Have you unwittingly placed an unfair condition upon your own happiness just because of social construct which suggests that who you are and your outer physical appearance must "match" so to speak?
 

Victoria

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Jun 2, 2017
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95
Incognito, I would recommend seeking therapy in real life. It really does help. I've been going for 6 years. Very helpful. :) It helps get your thoughts straight just to have someone to verbally talk to.

Gender in the west is very strict and has been manufactured over the past 150 years. It's manufactured by media, retail, magazines - everyone. To say "I like makeup" in the west is to imply you are female, but men traditionally have always worn makeup or face paint in the past. Men wore dresses or skirts in the past, too. There are cultural currents fighting against LGBTQ that I do not think are fair. I think if you like what you like, then you like what you like, and who am I to say otherwise?

Here's my personal challenge: I still think I am genderqueer, but lately my maternal drive has kicked in and I can't think of much else besides having a baby. Before this I was a driven, aggressive person who excelled in my job. I was also very overweight and had PCOS. I've lost weight and my sexual drive is back, along with a maternal instinct (this is new and scary! Especially to my husband!) I went from the breadwinner in the relationship to being acutely maternal in about 2 years. It means I feel more submissive, more subdued. It's weird. I think it has to do with the fact that when I was obese I had a very high level of testosterone (yes, I've had it medically tested.) Now that my weight is getting back to a more normal level, my hormones have adjusted. My periods are back to normal and I want to have a baby.

The big question is what does this mean? What does this mean for you? Well, it means absolutely nothing to you. I'm not you. But I find it interesting nonetheless and want to throw that out there. I think hormones play a huge role in the rise of LGBTQ and with that comes tough questions like Does obesity cause one to become gay? or Does pollution play a role in hormone levels? And if hormones levels in obese people factor in sexual or gender identity, would that identity change if the hormone levels changed?
 

Todd

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Apr 16, 2017
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This topic is very interesting to me right now. My wife and I are foster parents and just last week we did respite care for a 16 year old “boy” named Tobi. Tobi was born a girl and is transitioning to a boy. Tobi has not had any surgeries but he is on hormone therapy. He also hopes to get approved for “top” surgery soon.

As Christians my wife and I, had for a long time just pressumed like many conservative Christians that any LGBT lifestyle is sinful and wholly unacceptable to God. If you define sin as anything against the perfect will of God then I would still say that any LGBT lifestyle is against God’s original design and intent for humans. However we know that we are born into a sinful will and that all of us are born with a “sin” nature. That was not God’s original design or intent but it also did not catch God “off guard”.

For about 5 years my thoughts toward LGBT has been changing. I do not support the militant, radical movement that is trying to force LGBT into everyone’s life but I also do not support discrimination or any hateful acts towards anyone who is LGBT. As a Christian I am embarrassed by the way the Church, in general, has addressed LGBT issues and how they have treated individuals who are LGBT. I have been on a quest to seek God on how he would have us, as Christian’s, relate, minister and love those who are LGBT.

That is why I do not think it was just coincidence that we were asked to provide foster care for Tobi while his foster parent, Alan, who is gay, went on a week long trip. When Tobi arrived we were upfront that we did not necessarily agree with his lifestyle choice, but we told him that we respected his decision and would be as supportive of him as we could. Tobi is fully aware that we do not think LGBT is in any way part of God’s perfect design or intent for anyone.

After he was with us for a couple days and began to experience the unconditional love that we try to show towards everyone, Tobi started opening up quite a bit with us. We did not judge, or try to convince him why we didn’t agree with his lifestyle change. Eventually Tobi and I had a discussion that lead to talking about the God of the Bible and Christianity.

I explained to him how I was not proud of how Christianity has handled the LGBT issue. I explained to him how Christians and the church in general have assumed the role of God, by being judge and determining for ourselves that LGBT “sins” are somehow more offensive to God than any other kind of sin. We have been hypocritical in acknowledging that no one becomes perfect when they first become a Christian, and that it takes years and years of relationship and fellowship with God for him to deal with all the sin issues in our lives. Yet we place a double standard on LGBT individuals and expect them to immediately acknowledge and renounce their lifestyle before they can be accepted as “Christians”.

Do I think God desires for LGBT individuals to stay the way they are? No I do not. But I also do not think God expects me to stay the way I am. I’ve been a Christian for 29 years and God is still pointing out issues in my life he wants to change. I am thankful that God did not demand or expect me to change everything before I couldd have a relationship with him.

Getting to know Tobi and trying to understand his feelings and why he is choosing to transition was a blessing from God. Tobi is respectful, caring, kind and overall a great kid. If not for the fact that I knew his situation and he was open about talking about it, I might not have even realized he was not really a boy for some time. (well expect for when we were in our pool and he was wearing a binder!) We had a few people at our house who met and talked with him and we never told them Tobi was transgender and they never thought a thing about it.

By the end of the week Tobi was asking if he could spend time with us on a regular basis. We ended up creating a special relationship with him and he feels comfortable and accepted in our home, even knowing that we do not fully embrace his lifestyle choice. We may not embrace his lifestyle choice, but we embrace and accept him as a person. We have compassion on his situation and his feelings, but no amount of me talking at him will change his perspective. Only God can do that. So my stance is, let me be the best representative of God’s unconditional love, that would draw Tobi to a relationship with God. After that it’s up to God when, where and how he might change Tobi’s perspective or paradigm about his sexuality. It’s not my place or responsibility to do that. My only responsibility is to have compassion and un-conditional love for the people God has placed in my life.
 

rainerann

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Mar 18, 2017
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It's like. Seeing yourself in a mirror and saying. No that isn't me. It's like always thinking. Yeah I would like to be a guy. And I don't like being a girl. It's. Hard to explain. It's. Wanting to always change who you are. Because you don't like who you are
Ironically, and I hope you won't take offense if I say this, but your description sounds like a sort of depersonalization disorder, which would be a form of dissociative disorder. Chemicals and pollutants would be capable of creating this type of condition and would not require any sort of genetic change.

I say this because many people don't realize how dissociation works when it is not in it's most extreme form. There is a broad spectrum of dissociation that ranges from mild to severe. There are a couple of books that I have on the subject of dissociation in a broader spectrum including dissociation that everyone experiences at some point. The first is called "The Stranger in the Mirror". The second is called Intensive Psychotherapy for Persistent Dissociative Processes: The Fear of Feeling Real".

The first one is little less clinical sounding. It might be worth looking into. In my experience with therapy, I have often encountered a road block where the therapist is not equipped to help me and I don't feel like I should pay a therapist and have to educate them, so I do a lot of reading. I thought I would suggest it because I figure it couldn't hurt.
 

Kung Fu

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Mar 24, 2017
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If people don't entertain the thoughts of people who were born a man/woman but feel like they should be a hippo why should anyone entertain your thoughts of wanting to be a man?
 

Karlysymon

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Victoria said:
I think hormones play a
huge role in the rise of
LGBTQ and with that comes tough questions like Does obesity cause one to become gay? or Does
pollution play a role in
hormone levels? And if hormones levels in obese people factor in sexual or gender identity, would
that identity change if the hormone levels changed?
Its interesting that you had high testosterone levels while obese. Fat cells produce estrogen but also act as its store, accomodating that from outside the body. So the heavier one is, the more estrogen there is in one's blood. I realised there is ALOT of estrogen in our enviroment. Not just as a synthentic hormone in contraceptive pills that ends up in the water supply but, for example, Bisphenol A (BPA) found in plastics mimicks estrogen in the body. This, among countless other industrial chemicals and food additives that mimick estrogen. This means males now have more estrogen in their systems and this result CANNOT be without effect. Maybe that explains why some boys may 'feel' like girls during the early years. The less exposed a population is to endocrine disruptors, the less prevalent 'gender confusion' is.
 

Aero

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Mar 13, 2017
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5,910
"Experiments with animals have identified critical developmental time points in utero and days after birth when exposure to chemicals that interfere with or mimic hormones have adverse effects that persist into adulthood."

So there you have it. These chemicals are in everything we touch all the time. I've had metal in my mouth since I was a kid. I should probably get it taken out, but it didn't turn me super gay. The bigger risk if it was laced with these chemicals is probably cancer. Or some other genetic disorder.

The danger is real there. People need to decide whether they believe the science or not. If these are sick people, they didn't make a lifestyle choice. That's just how they are. The world made them that way. So what's the problem?
 

Devine

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Mar 20, 2017
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no joke you should have a baby!!! that'll fix yo genderqueer right up!
I do not actually know what that means :) but i think you should have one
Incognito, I would recommend seeking therapy in real life. It really does help. I've been going for 6 years. Very helpful. :) It helps get your thoughts straight just to have someone to verbally talk to.

Gender in the west is very strict and has been manufactured over the past 150 years. It's manufactured by media, retail, magazines - everyone. To say "I like makeup" in the west is to imply you are female, but men traditionally have always worn makeup or face paint in the past. Men wore dresses or skirts in the past, too. There are cultural currents fighting against LGBTQ that I do not think are fair. I think if you like what you like, then you like what you like, and who am I to say otherwise?

Here's my personal challenge: I still think I am genderqueer, but lately my maternal drive has kicked in and I can't think of much else besides having a baby. Before this I was a driven, aggressive person who excelled in my job. I was also very overweight and had PCOS. I've lost weight and my sexual drive is back, along with a maternal instinct (this is new and scary! Especially to my husband!) I went from the breadwinner in the relationship to being acutely maternal in about 2 years. It means I feel more submissive, more subdued. It's weird. I think it has to do with the fact that when I was obese I had a very high level of testosterone (yes, I've had it medically tested.) Now that my weight is getting back to a more normal level, my hormones have adjusted. My periods are back to normal and I want to have a baby.

The big question is what does this mean? What does this mean for you? Well, it means absolutely nothing to you. I'm not you. But I find it interesting nonetheless and want to throw that out there. I think hormones play a huge role in the rise of LGBTQ and with that comes tough questions like Does obesity cause one to become gay? or Does pollution play a role in hormone levels? And if hormones levels in obese people factor in sexual or gender identity, would that identity change if the hormone levels changed?
 
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