Things I've learned from the Coronavirus

Awoken2

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Joined
Jan 22, 2018
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3,910
It is nearly at my door!!!!!!!

I've just stepped out of the shower after scrubbing myself down for 3 hours after this mornings contact with a spreader. I was towelling myself down looking out of my bedroom when I saw the most horrific sight in the back garden of my next door neighbours.....the Smith's.

I had to rub my eyes in disbelief at what I saw. Mrs Smith, a diabetic, had obviously been struck down by the virus as she was on all fours scrabbling round in her begonias. I assumed she was having a shortness of breath attack and had fallen near her flowerbeds.....next thing I know Mr Smith came out with a shovel and started digging in his potato patch. It was obviously going to be a grave for his stricken Mrs who was obviously disoriented with tbe virus and wanted to say goodbye to her flowers before she became another statistic.

Being well versed in government advice on what to do if you think you see a spreader I jumped into my back up hazmat suit and sprang into action.

On leaping the fence I decided to tackle Mr Smith first as he was the more mobile of the two and Mrs Smith was on the ground anyway. I managed to take him down with a swift strike to the cranium with a hoe which was nearby.....BAM!!!!..... He just wilted and fell in his carrots.

I managed to pin Mrs Smith down to the ground by her jacket with a rake and a shovel which were at hand, I then put an upturned wheelbarrow over her then covered her in a tarp from their garage before retreating back to a place of safety.

I then called my local police and ambulance anonymously informing them that they would find another couple of victims in the back garden of their address.

.....anyway got to go, something just come on the radio about there being a serial killer operating in our area!!!

....just what we need right now isn't it?
 






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Joined
Mar 30, 2017
Messages
1,002
It is nearly at my door!!!!!!!

I've just stepped out of the shower after scrubbing myself down for 3 hours after this mornings contact with a spreader. I was towelling myself down looking out of my bedroom when I saw the most horrific sight in the back garden of my next door neighbours.....the Smith's.

I had to rub my eyes in disbelief at what I saw. Mrs Smith, a diabetic, had obviously been struck down by the virus as she was on all fours scrabbling round in her begonias. I assumed she was having a shortness of breath attack and had fallen near her flowerbeds.....next thing I know Mr Smith came out with a shovel and started digging in his potato patch. It was obviously going to be a grave for his stricken Mrs who was obviously disoriented with tbe virus and wanted to say goodbye to her flowers before she became another statistic.

Being well versed in government advice on what to do if you think you see a spreader I jumped into my back up hazmat suit and sprang into action.

On leaping the fence I decided to tackle Mr Smith first as he was the more mobile of the two and Mrs Smith was on the ground anyway. I managed to take him down with a swift strike to the cranium with a hoe which was nearby.....BAM!!!!..... He just wilted and fell in his carrots.

I managed to pin Mrs Smith down to the ground by her jacket with a rake and a shovel which were at hand, I then put an upturned wheelbarrow over her then covered her in a tarp from their garage before retreating back to a place of safety.

I then called my local police and ambulance anonymously informing them that they would find another couple of victims in the back garden of their address.

.....anyway got to go, something just come on the radio about there being a serial killer operating in our area!!!

....just what we need right now isn't it?
* (wipes tears from eyes and continues on with the day)
 






Maes17

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Joined
Jul 27, 2017
Messages
3,009
It is nearly at my door!!!!!!!

I've just stepped out of the shower after scrubbing myself down for 3 hours after this mornings contact with a spreader. I was towelling myself down looking out of my bedroom when I saw the most horrific sight in the back garden of my next door neighbours.....the Smith's.

I had to rub my eyes in disbelief at what I saw. Mrs Smith, a diabetic, had obviously been struck down by the virus as she was on all fours scrabbling round in her begonias. I assumed she was having a shortness of breath attack and had fallen near her flowerbeds.....next thing I know Mr Smith came out with a shovel and started digging in his potato patch. It was obviously going to be a grave for his stricken Mrs who was obviously disoriented with tbe virus and wanted to say goodbye to her flowers before she became another statistic.

Being well versed in government advice on what to do if you think you see a spreader I jumped into my back up hazmat suit and sprang into action.

On leaping the fence I decided to tackle Mr Smith first as he was the more mobile of the two and Mrs Smith was on the ground anyway. I managed to take him down with a swift strike to the cranium with a hoe which was nearby.....BAM!!!!..... He just wilted and fell in his carrots.

I managed to pin Mrs Smith down to the ground by her jacket with a rake and a shovel which were at hand, I then put an upturned wheelbarrow over her then covered her in a tarp from their garage before retreating back to a place of safety.

I then called my local police and ambulance anonymously informing them that they would find another couple of victims in the back garden of their address.

.....anyway got to go, something just come on the radio about there being a serial killer operating in our area!!!

....just what we need right now isn't it?
You truly are a Vigilant Citizen.
God speed to you sir
 






Maes17

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Joined
Jul 27, 2017
Messages
3,009
Anywhore.

Happy sunday/easter to y’alls.
Hope y’alls are healthy and safe. Still social distancing in all seriousness lol.


And....yeah...stay heathy
*loss of words, stares around awkwardly*
 






Cintra

Star
Joined
Jan 11, 2020
Messages
1,577
It is nearly at my door!!!!!!!

I've just stepped out of the shower after scrubbing myself down for 3 hours after this mornings contact with a spreader. I was towelling myself down looking out of my bedroom when I saw the most horrific sight in the back garden of my next door neighbours.....the Smith's.

I had to rub my eyes in disbelief at what I saw. Mrs Smith, a diabetic, had obviously been struck down by the virus as she was on all fours scrabbling round in her begonias. I assumed she was having a shortness of breath attack and had fallen near her flowerbeds.....next thing I know Mr Smith came out with a shovel and started digging in his potato patch. It was obviously going to be a grave for his stricken Mrs who was obviously disoriented with tbe virus and wanted to say goodbye to her flowers before she became another statistic.

Being well versed in government advice on what to do if you think you see a spreader I jumped into my back up hazmat suit and sprang into action.

On leaping the fence I decided to tackle Mr Smith first as he was the more mobile of the two and Mrs Smith was on the ground anyway. I managed to take him down with a swift strike to the cranium with a hoe which was nearby.....BAM!!!!..... He just wilted and fell in his carrots.

I managed to pin Mrs Smith down to the ground by her jacket with a rake and a shovel which were at hand, I then put an upturned wheelbarrow over her then covered her in a tarp from their garage before retreating back to a place of safety.

I then called my local police and ambulance anonymously informing them that they would find another couple of victims in the back garden of their address.

.....anyway got to go, something just come on the radio about there being a serial killer operating in our area!!!

....just what we need right now isn't it?
You get a Daily Mail Special Services to the Nation Award.
Well done, Sir! Well done!
Your nation salutes you.

Winston_Churchill,_cigar_in_mouth,_gives_his_famous_'V'_for_victory_sign_during_a_visit_to_Bra...jpg
 






Maes17

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Joined
Jul 27, 2017
Messages
3,009
Another thing I learned from the virus regarding traffic yet again.

So I go into work at 9am. Leave the house about 8:30-8:40 latest. Work is only a 12 minute drive all freeway.

So when I pull up on the first main street outside of my neighborhood I’ve gotten the same driver in front of me. Chevy suburban denver broncos sticker - who cannot get up to mother fuqqin speed!!!*Samuel L Jackson voice* on the mother fuqqin freeway!
 






Awoken2

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Joined
Jan 22, 2018
Messages
3,910

I am now currently under siege so I've had to take offensive action to protect myself and my family.

Whilst monitoring my road through the net curtains this afternoon I have noted there has been SIX...... yes....that's SIX blatant breaches of this extremely important safety advice between 13.00 hrs and 15.30 hrs alone.

Some lunatic living at number 65 was jet washing his Mazda with a Karcher pressure washer without a face mask sending a fine spray containing his own personal,possibly toxic,aerosols floating down the street!!!.....I nearly fell off the chair I was stood on!

Then next door but two had there bucket and sponges out thwapping away at their Merc with no PPE whatsoever. There were innocent people just feet away walking to parks and shops.....it was just horrendous!

Number 92, stood there with a garden hose, sweating profusely trying to clean his Landrover....liquids flying feckin everywhere!

I couldn't believe I was surrounded by so many dangerous people so I just had to act.

Once all the menaces had gone back into their homes I made 6 molotov cocktails, jumped into my mud caked unwashed for 3 weeks Volvo and drove down the road distributing said pay loads to the doors or windows of the perpetrators.

Being a responsible citizen I then rang the fire brigade and informed them that a series of fires had broken out on our road and all addresses are suspected to be contaminated with Coronavirus so any fires should be tackled from the government recommended 75 feet......for their own safety obviously.

I think I will be due some type of community award when all this thing is over.
 






Lisa

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Joined
Mar 13, 2017
Messages
15,056
I’ve learned that my hair stylist knows what she’s doing...
I wouldn’t be in this position if I had stopped when my brain started screaming warning.. Warning!
My daughter is a God send and sweet to help me out..
That my hair looks a lot cuter from the front then the back...phew!
Happy that all I see is the front...phew!!
Neither my daughter nor I know how to blend hair..
I won’t need another ‘haircut’ for a couple of months..
My new Disney ball cap is even cuter than I remembered...lol!
Hair grows back!
I can laugh this off because the front looks cute...and by the time it all grows back, I might actually be able to get a real haircut! :p

p.s...I will be cleaning up hair in my bathroom for months...I did mention the front looks cute?
 






free2018

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Joined
Sep 8, 2018
Messages
960
I have learned a lot.
I've learned that a lot about people. I have learned that strangers can be more giving than acquaintances-- or family.
I've learned that many of my "friends" don't want much out of life.
I have learned that my best friends are probably my oldest friends-- even when we barely speak.
I have learned a lot.
 






Maes17

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Joined
Jul 27, 2017
Messages
3,009
I have learned a lot.
I've learned that a lot about people. I have learned that strangers can be more giving than acquaintances-- or family.
I've learned that many of my "friends" don't want much out of life.
I have learned that my best friends are probably my oldest friends-- even when we barely speak.
I have learned a lot.
A bit of people have become generous and helpful.
Which leaves hope for humanity.

I also have the most annoying neighbor though which has me questioning why some people are jackasses.

But overall, I feel I’ve improved mentally having a bit more time to think and think productive at that.
 






free2018

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Joined
Sep 8, 2018
Messages
960
A bit of people have become generous and helpful.
Which leaves hope for humanity.

I also have the most annoying neighbor though which has me questioning why some people are jackasses.

But overall, I feel I’ve improved mentally having a bit more time to think and think productive at that.
I have been doing deliveries and I have received some major tips. I even had one tip for 15 dollars. I was very grateful.
It was getting heavy and then I just decided to reach out to some of my older friends.
That's been the best thing about the world having gone daft.
I look forward to having a decent year God willing.
 






morita

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Joined
Aug 19, 2018
Messages
551
If the corona has highlighted something, it's that our society was already ill/sick, in every sense of the word and the corona has exarcerbated it. Whether it's people having tons of medical conditions, mental health issues, our economy being a mess, etc.
If someone says they want things to go back to where they were before the corona, they're probably an idiot or they cannot be trusted because it wasn't working in the first place.
 






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