The fact that you were in the IDF blinded my judgement. It’s still a huge issue for me that you were in the IDF but that’s beside the point.
I totally get why you have mixed feelings about the IDF , I went in the army to "bust a cap " and break some hands because my idea of the occupied territories was that its a war zone and that's it, what I learned in school was bullshit and what I saw on tv and heard from others was bullshit too.
I went in and I saw people living in conditions equal to hell, and when I went with my friends for the first time to a house, and notified them it's ours now, for we don't how long, just because its located in a strategic location and we need snipers and response teams ready to go ....
I remember the first time we told a family their house will be demolished.......
I remember the look on their face....., and then it hit me the first time - "were a bunch of ass holes !!!!"
And from then on my eyes started to open slowly, that's why I don't regret joining the IDF, but if I were presented again the opportunity today I would refuse .
I always remember many many of my friends had their hate so deep in them, that circumstances, made real good boys behave like monsters, I didn't see it then, of course, I was a "light" wanna be monster trying to fit in. If I had the chance to shoot protestors or rock throwers, I never did ,because I always believed we were "moral" and you don't shoot an NON LETHAL THREAT even with non-lethal ammunition that is worse than lethal in some cases, but there were those who thought it was "call of duty" or something.
You were not human to us, we had no empathy towards you because we were taught 3 basic thinks since childhood:
1-Arabs are stupid.
2-They were offered the land by us ,but they refused and attacked us.
3-I cannot trust you and you will always try to harm and kill me no matter what.
You have to realy understand what this whole system is , young boys and girls, regular boys and girls that want to have fun and have plans for the future, these boys are put in a system were you
CANNOT BE MORAL....its designed that way , all the screws moving in the IDF point to one central point ...you just CANT .... and if you do ..you"ll probably die along the way.........your fighters aren't exactly sweet angels and fair and honorable.. .. lets keep it real here...
Not all IDF soldiers are cruel and hateful, most of them are doing what they are told while under the influence of heavy propaganda and manipulated through violence and suffering since birth...same as you....
But I am certain of one thing, all the SHABAK guys and all the zone commanders and the army high command ,are all totally mental, I look at them as Satan in uniform.
In the past, I used to look at them with admiration and saw these patriotic angels protecting the poor oppressed people of Israel from annihilation...and im certain they see themselves that way also....
But I have new eyes and an open hearth.