Relationships

[Incognito]

Relationships. They are always tricky. When do you say enough is enough?

 

[SpektaCoolAir]

as soon as it gets ugly dirty & or unhealthy - i guess

 

[Incognito]

Define unhealthy though.

Example:
Someone who has depression will always assume the worst and push people away.

Should you not consider their depression?

 

[SpektaCoolAir]

unhealthy as in developing some kind of addiction to or obsession with the husband/wife.

a disease (no matter if psychological or physical) is not what i meant - that's a different story altogether.

 

[Incognito]

See. It becomes blurred.

 

[Camidria]

In a wordly sense, relationships are and will always be a HUGE mess!
If I had to look at relationships and establish a healthy one in a worldly sense, I would evaluate myself:
What can I offer my partner in the relationship, what is my biggest needs, are these needs valid and balanced?

My question is, can you live with a certian trait that a person has? If you know yourself well enough you will be able to say if you can cope with it and how long. Can the other person change? Now here is where it gets tricky!

If that person remains in the world, chances are they won't change!!!

At some stage you will want a heatlthy and balanced relationship, where you both give and both receive emotionally. If you have reached your capacity and cannot cope with a negative trait a person has anymore, time to move on - then choose better next time, ask many questions, find out how a person deals with the many aspects of life before you commit.

Relationships will always be complicated, as long as you remain in the world....

 

[Aero]

I agree that balance is the key to making a relationship work. But I don't think learning to live with someones flaws is a good strategy. Like if you cannot cope, than that's your problem. At that point it's about developing better coping methods. It doesn't matter who you try to date if you cope with things like a child.

It's about taking responsibility for ourselves. Not pushing the blame onto other people. Like why is the word "change" involved when we think of other people? Unless they are really that dangerous, you are just playing yourself. Nobody needs someone hawking over them, picking out every little thing. That's why space apart is important.

Being in a relationship should make you happy. Period. If it doesn't there are much deeper issues acting out. I see people all the time not living their own dreams. And it is that simple. Live your life and don't worry about other people. Especially the people you love the most. That's hard to do, but it's imperative to coping like an actual adult is supposed to.

 

[Camidria]

It depends on what needs to change - I am someone that speaks my mind, it is a good trait maybe a pain to some but it's not something negative. What I have changed though was the way I speak my mind, assessing a situaltion and then doing it in such a way that I do not trample on other people.

When you are a person who get angry easily and there is no hormonal things going on and you hurt others in the process I must say that that is something you can change.
Being short tempered for no reason is something you can work on, and the list of negative traits goes on....
All of us has good traits and bad traits, I would think we should work on our bad traits and improve them.

People do not have to change who they are, but they can improve on themselves and become the best person they can be.

 

[elsbet]

Define unhealthy though.

Example:
Someone who has depression will always assume the worst and push people away.

Should you not consider their depression?

It depends, imo.

If you're married with children, then you have Obligations and a life invested to consider. If you have neither marriage nor children, then your perspective can be different-- is the person participating in his/her own recovery? Or are they resigned to it?

Depression is tricky-- doctors prescribe a fistfull of pills that often make people worse. They won't blame the drugs, though.. they blame the person's "worsening condition." It's so wrong. If a suffering person doesn't investigate the medication they're on, they're going to be another victim of the pharmaceutical industry. Almost every time.

How that relates to a relationship without marriage or kids-- again, imo-- you may be better off serving as friend and advocate.. but no more than that. That disease, untreated (or treated only with popular, but dangerous drugs), will take both of your lives hostage, indefinitely.

Js.

 

[DesertRose]

Relationships. They are always tricky. When do you say enough is enough?

When the person turns out to be toxic and your sense of well being is going down the drain.

If you're married with children, then you have Obligations and a life invested to consider. If you have neither marriage nor children, then your perspective can be different-- is the person participating in his/her own recovery? Or are they resigned to it?

Agree with that. If you have kids then recovery from issues with help should be considered to keep the family intact.
If the issues are major then it may be time to leave.

 

[Devine]

if your asking the question, your probably know it's WAY ENOUGH.

 

[Devine]

 

[Devine]

 

[Incognito]

Well it's cool to say "it's enough". Change might be conceived as a bad thing. But, if you care about someone. And, you realize your behaviour is badly affecting someone. You will (hopefully) want to change that. If you truly care about that person.

 

[Incognito]

Well it's cool to say "it's enough". Change might be conceived as a bad thing. But, if you care about someone. And, you realize your behaviour is badly affecting someone. You will (hopefully) want to change that. If you truly care about that person.

Enough is enough.

Thanks for everyone's input

 

[Vytas]

I said enough just about a week ago...So painful...For me enough is enough was her cheating me... i could never forgive that even if i wanted...

 

[Annonymous_Damsel]

I don’t want anything to do with relationships.I watched him leave me for someone else after 6 years.Im traumatized.Lost so much weight and I can’t even sleep.

 

[Incognito]

Wow. That's very unfortunate.

 

[Incognito]

In a wordly sense, relationships are and will always be a HUGE mess!
If I had to look at relationships and establish a healthy one in a worldly sense, I would evaluate myself:
What can I offer my partner in the relationship, what is my biggest needs, are these needs valid and balanced?

My question is, can you live with a certian trait that a person has? If you know yourself well enough you will be able to say if you can cope with it and how long. Can the other person change? Now here is where it gets tricky!

If that person remains in the world, chances are they won't change!!!

At some stage you will want a heatlthy and balanced relationship, where you both give and both receive emotionally. If you have reached your capacity and cannot cope with a negative trait a person has anymore, time to move on - then choose better next time, ask many questions, find out how a person deals with the many aspects of life before you commit.

Relationships will always be complicated, as long as you remain in the world....