Red flags in dating

[morita]

I was writing a post regarding relationship problems and I thought I would make a thread about it, it might help other posters, especially women.

I'm gonna start: For me a red flag would be someone who acts commited too quickly when you barely know them or have just met them. And expects I act like a girlfriend.
I tried online sites and there was a guy who I only talked to once who was already making plans for the summer: like talking abt taking me on vacation. The funniest thing is I didn't even have a profile pic! He didn't even know what I looked like...

There are a lot of dudes who if you're just a polite human being with will think you like them...And if you are defensive on the get-go you are a stuck up bitch.

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/916072035268333568

And tbh I don't understand the "friendzone". Men act like you are witholding something from them or that you are a "tease" if you put them in the friendzone. I just feel like a lot of men feel emasculated or like less of a man when women reject them.

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1095866406955040768

 

[morita]

Oh, wait I nearly forgot, what's so annoying with "nice guys" is that they're always trying to help you with smthg. Even when you didn't ask for anything. They're always projecting the "damsel in distress" on you...so frustrating bc they swear they're not the kinda dudes who think women are weaker. They play the feminist card or pretend to be progressive when it comes to paying fo dinner (going dutch) and having sex. But when it comes to every other things, they'll still act according to outdated gender roles "I'm a big strong man I'll protect the frail defenseless maidens" Seriously tho... -_-

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1111851796060925952

 

[Aero]

I agree with the OP.

Let's look at the other side of the coin though. I've seen a lot of women act like I'm hitting on them when I'm not. I've merely followed girls on Instagram and they act like that's me "shooting my shot". Like Nah, get over yourself that ain't a shot.

I get that some men have made women feel they need to play defense. But playing defense doesn't mean building unbreakable walls around yourself. It also doesn't mean overreact to every little thing. Every guy isn't a creeper or filled with malicious intent.

I like to pay more attention to women because I don't like other men very much. Women level me out, even when they are being weird or psycho.

 

[Robin]

I don't really think your poll question is fair. Yes, modern dating sucks but that's on both sexes. Just look at the MGTOW threads on here where men feel women are responsible for the off-kilter dynamic. I personally think the dating scene is an extension of the way our culture is moving at large -increasingly superficial, narcissistic and the valuing of instant gratification over genuine connection . . . And none of those things discriminate based on gender. As for those celebrity tweets . . . Come on. They might have somewhat of a point but I'd hardly say something like "being a woman is to live life on the defence", or that all men feel entitled to sex over friendship. Sure, many men are like that but there are also many women who are all too happy to give out casual sex without emotional investment. A lot of these are just generalised statements of problematic behaviour that doesn't apply to every member of either sex.

Back to the OP about red flags though . . . Probably immaturity and arrogance (not to be confused with confidence).

 

[morita]

Of course no one thinks all men are like this...
Again, just like the conversations around toxic masculinity it's more about pointing out the ingrained toxic behaviours that they need to unlearn so that they can do better.

You are actually hijacking the conversation by saying things like "not all men" or claiming it's male-bashing anytime someone makes some valid criticism of men.

And men and women aren't on an equal playing field. Men don't have to fear for their lives in the presence of women.

 

[Robin]

Of course no one thinks all men are like this...
Again, just like the conversations around toxic masculinity it's more about pointing out the ingrained toxic behaviours that they need to unlearn so that they can do better.

Then the language around the topic needs to be changed because much of it does sound like refers to all men.

You are actually hijacking the conversation by saying things like "not all men" or claiming it's male-bashing anytime someone makes some valid criticism of men.

Technically, you hijacked your own thread. It started off as a critique on modern dating and then took a sharp left turn into criticising men all of a sudden. I do the same thing in threads where women are being unfairly criticised. I'm just stating the truth that this sort of cataloguing is not fair to either side.

And men and women aren't on an equal playing field. Men don't have to fear for their lives in the presence of women.

What does this have to do with the topic of dating?

 

[morita]

Technically, you hijacked your own thread. It started off as a critique on modern dating and then took a sharp left turn into criticising men all of a sudden. I do the same thing in threads where women are being unfairly criticised. I'm just stating the truth that this sort of cataloguing is not fair to either side.

I'm pointing out problematic behaviours that men exhibit in dating. Those are by definition red flags. And also, if there are women out there who feel they have to live life on the defense they have the right to feel that way, their feelings are totally valid. And if you read the comments below that tweet you'll notice a lot of women who feel the same.

What does this have to do with the topic of dating?

Let's see, gender relations play out in dating.

Then the language around the topic needs to be changed because much of it does sound like refers to all men.

Just because you personally don't like the delivery of a message doesn't mean it's not valid.

 

[Robin]

I'm pointing out problematic behaviours that men exhibit in dating. Those are by definition red flags. And also, if there are women out there who feel they have to live life on the defense they have the right to feel that way, their feelings are totally valid. And if you read the comments below that tweet you'll notice a lot of women who feel the same.

I thought the thread was supposed to be about dating in general? Not pointing out problematic behaviours of the opposite sex but red flags in general? Ok but then I hope you think MGTOWers just as valid.

Let's see, gender relations play out in dating.

And "fearing for your life" is a normal response when coming into contact with a guy in a dating scenario?

Just because you personally don't like the delivery of a message doesn't mean it's not valid.

It's not that I don't personally like it. It's that it causes many men to switch off and become defensive so they don't listen to what you have to say regardless of whether it has merit. It pits people against each other in an us vs. them, men vs. women scenario -its divisive language. There's enough division already.

 

[morita]

I thought the thread was supposed to be about dating in general? Not pointing out problematic behaviours of the opposite sex but red flags in general? Ok but then I hope you think MGTOWers just as valid.

Are you dumb on purpose or is that a real question? If a man exhibit problematic or toxic behaviour that's a major red flag right here.
And please, I'm not creating an entire movement that's advocating for violence agst men here, which mgtow have done multiple times talking abt raping and punishing women on their boards.
You don't like my language? Well, I could give a sh*t.

And "fearing for your life" is a normal response when coming into contact with a guy in a dating scenario?

Another dumb ass question. Look a the statistics of murder, domestic violence and date-r*pe, connect the dots.
Also you seem totally oblivious to the difference between systemic oppression and individual instances. Look up the difference on google. I don't have the actual power to oppress men even with my little thread on this forum...

It's not that I don't personally like it. It's that it causes many men to switch off and become defensive so they don't listen to what you have to say regardless of whether it has merit

Well, Idk if you're a man or a woman but you seem to care more abt policing the people who are discussing toxic masculinity than actually dismantling toxic masculinity.

 

[morita]

It pits people against each other in an us vs. them, men vs. women scenario -its divisive language. There's enough division already.

I actually have lost patience with you. It's not abt that particular thread, anytime I post smthg on these boards you're coming loud and wrong to gaslight me with your "notallmen!!" "we're all white!" "you're divisive" bottom of the barrel in terms of argument.
Are you a troll? If you don't like what I say, put me on ignore. That is long overdue.

 

[Robin]

Are you dumb on purpose or is that a real question? If a man exhibit problematic or toxic behaviour that's a major red flag right here.

THREAD TITLE: RED FLAGS IN DATING followed by:
"I was writing a post regarding relationship problems and I thought I would make a thread about it, it might help other posters, especially women."

Then you put celebrity tweets of all things that turned it into a discussion on "toxic masculinity". NIce to know you can't read your own thread topic.

And please, I'm not creating an entire movement that's advocating for violence agst men here, which mgtow have done multiple times talking abt raping and punishing women on their boards.
You don't like my language? Well, I could give a sh*t.

And yet there are men who do make actual points about how the legal system is unfairly rigged toward them in terms of the family and divorce courts. Yet no one pays attention because of how toxic their crazy radicals are. Sounds familiar enough.

Another dumb ass question. Look a the statistics of murder, domestic violence and date-r*pe, connect the dots.
Also you seem totally oblivious to the difference between systemic oppression and individual instances. Look up the difference on google. I don't have the actual power to oppress men even with my little thread on this forum...

"1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner contact sexual violence, and/or intimate partner stalking with impacts such as injury, fearfulness, post-traumatic stress disorder, use of victim services, contraction of sexually transmitted diseases, etc."
"1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner. This includes a range of behaviors (e.g. slapping, shoving, pushing) and in some cases might not be considered "domestic violence."
https://ncadv.org/statistics

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/amp/uk-wales-47252756

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-45490173

I never said you were oppressing men . . . Just that you're perpetuating the type of divisive dialogue THEY (whoever they are) thrive off of.

Well, Idk if you're a man or a woman but you seem to care more abt policing the people who are discussing toxic masculinity than actually dismantling toxic masculinity.

No . . . But this is a forum where we get to share our opinions. Mine is that the type of posts you make are divisive and similar to the narrative the MSM pushes. I'm not trying to shut you up or police you, just giving my opinion.

I actually have lost patience with you. It's not abt that particular thread, anytime I post smthg on these boards you're coming loud and wrong to gaslight me with your "notallmen!!" "we're all white!" "you're divisive" bottom of the barrel in terms of argument.
Are you a troll? If you don't like what I say, put me on ignore. That is long overdue.

Lol, why so sensitive? If you don't like my opinion, take your own advice and don't give a shit. It's a public forum sweetheart. If you can't formulate a mature response then don't bother writing one at all.

 

[morita]

Lol, why so sensitive? If you don't like my opinion, take your own advice and don't give a shit. It's a public forum sweetheart. If you can't formulate a mature response then don't bother writing one at all.

Sensistive? please, you're the one who's trying to deflect from any conversation around race by centering your white guilt and white feelings or by saying any mention of men is an attack.
lol I'm pretty sure I'm not the one who can't handle debate here.

take your own advice and don't give a shit

tbh that's the most sensible thing you ever said.

 

[Aero]

If we are going to have an honest conversation about toxic masculinity, we need to talk about the women who celebrate and glorify such behavior. I say this because I too, am on Twitter and see plenty of it playing out. Toxic men get the most attention from women, so why is that? It just kind of seems like women are shooting themselves in the foot in that regard.

Also, we rarely ever see women rallying together and taking down the most toxic dude around. Instead, they harbor some ill will and end up taking that out on some random guy with a little bit of heart. So it's the "good" guys out there that end up suffering, and the toxic dudes are just fine.

Women aren't powerless. They could be running shit out here, but they get in each others way more often than men do.

 

[Robin]

Sensistive? please, you're the one who's trying to deflect from any conversation around race by centering your white guilt and white feelings or by saying any mention of men is an attack.
lol I'm pretty sure I'm not the one who can't handle debate here.


tbh that's the most sensible thing you ever said.

Lol, you dont "debate", you complain and insult. And I'm not even white lol, but nice try Buzzfeed.

 

[Maes17]

It goes both ways. I’m an equal opportunity critic.
Y’all men & women are wankers I say

 

[morita]

 

[morita]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1000780038294458368

 

[Lisa]

@morita are you single?

 

[Lurker]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1000780038294458368

So now going out for coffee or ice cream to find out if there are enough commonalities to pursue a relationship is a problem? I have to take her out on a full date to find out she's a raging feminazi?

 

[Erik Weisz]

So now going out for coffee or ice cream to find out if there are enough commonalities to pursue a relationship is a problem? I have to take her out on a full date to find out she's a raging feminazi?

Start with surprise buttsecks. That'll tell you everything you need to know.