'Phubbing' is not socially acceptable

[bible_student]

'Phubbing' is not socially acceptable


Katherine Martinko feistyredhair
March 8, 2019

And yet, everyone does it.

As I was leaving the gym last week, I greeted a friend who was coming in. He responded without looking up from his phone. I stood there for a few awkward seconds, hoping for eye contact and a further interaction. He finally looked up briefly, apologetically, before returning to the screen. I walked on, feeling shaken by the whole interaction.

It turns out I had been 'phubbed,' which is the funny-sounding official term for snubbing someone in favor of a phone. This effect has been studied in recent years and research has found that phubbing does have a very real negative impact on personal relationships, eroding the quality of communication and level of satisfaction.

Interestingly, it was something I'd been thinking about prior to that exchange, although I didn't know there was an official term for it. Recently I've noticed that it's impossible to go out with friends and have their attention for the whole time. There are always phones on the table, and they're constantly being checked. I am guilty of this too. When the slightest lull in conversation arises, or if someone gets up from the table briefly, people grab their phones to check in with the rest of the world, to see what else is going on that might be more exciting or stimulating than one's immediate surroundings.

And yet, so little thought is given to how that makes other people feel. As a group we might comment on pictures or stories that other people have just posted on Instagram, but in reality I think it's incredibly painful for people to feel like they don't matter as much as a social media feed...

https://www.treehugger.com/culture/phubbing-not-socially-acceptable.html

What do you guys think? Is phubbing socially acceptable? Or is the writer of the article right? Please feel free to add your votes and thoughts.

 

[Vytas]

Not a single option in favor of phubbing. ? Virtual life is more interesting than real one. Thats the whole problem. You are where your mind is. So when phubbing we are not here and not now. I remember once I came to visit friend, (and as he told me later) i spent 20 minutes browsing my phone and left without saying a single word. He was quite pissed off (understandably). But it was good wake up call. Now i do that only consciously, when i don't like company or place im in. Also i take breaks from phone week or two every so often. I was surprised first time how hard it was. So many "but". Feels like you disconnected from your life, oh the irony...
Anyways phubbing socially acceptable or not isn't going anywhere. With VR going maistream, 5g and other cute stuff... What really is interesting to me is cost and consequences. Matrix movie comes to mind. Was it so far off with human living in VR without realizing it. As long as we aren't physically plugged in somewhere it's all good right ?

 

[DesertRose]

What really is interesting to me is cost and consequences

New reason for divorce? She or he preferred their mobile phone instead of any err interactions......

Virtual life is more interesting than real one.

Seriously would prefer to talk and look at a real person especially the eyes

 

[DesertRose]

This Will Leave You Speechless! - One of The Most Eye Opening Videos

Before You Scroll Down, WATCH THIS! One of The Most Eye Opening Videos

 

[Dalit]

This Will Leave You Speechless! - One of The Most Eye Opening Videos

Before You Scroll Down, WATCH THIS! One of The Most Eye Opening Videos

I love Denzel Washington (in 1st video). And this is true about internet addiction. My parents have the TV on but their heads in their Kindles playing games or checking sports' scores, etc. Everyone is totally disconnected from one another these days. I guess it's too hard to have real relationships because people want to be entertained all the time.

 

[DesertRose]

. Everyone is totally disconnected from one another these days. I guess it's too hard to have real relationships because people want to be entertained all the time.

That is so sad some of my most memorable experiences are about warmly conversing with friends and family and having tea or coffee sometimes ceremoniously.

 

[Damien50]

I would say it's a combination of the options but what else are indentured slaves supposed to do? This country is a corporation and most have to work and juggle responsibilities that stem from greater social issues while others don't really know any better.

Why should we have to interact with each other or make eye contact? Or converse in person? We have phones with excessive amounts of information, entertainment, and everything else. I'm not justifying it but it's a problem because there are bigger problems at hand. Social interaction in my opinion has weakened with the rise of narcissism and instant gratification where before things were only in books or in the minds.

This technology progressed so rapidly and we weren't prepared to deal with it on any level seeing benefits but not the disadvantages. I'm not a social person so it doesn't bother me but as beneficial as this tool can be it can also be incredibly detrimental and I believe values and what's appreciated have changed making phones integral in our lives.

 

[fire009_Flyer]

I'm afraid its only gonna get worse from here on out. My friends and I are all still under 21 but even we're constantly shocked at the increasing amount of mere children allowed to have devices. Just imagine all of them grown up! At least some of us still remember the time when flip phones and real human contact were the norm.

 

[free2018]

It's not socially acceptable when I really look at it. I leave my phone and electronics in the car when I talk to people and want to have real conversation. I unfortunately have spent much of the last 19 years looking at screens and it's not healthy. I'm over it. I'm on the other side of it. I prefer meeting in person to text, etc... .
Social media is garbage. There is a way back but it includes not using devices and going naked and just being.

 

[Vixy]

I dated a guy who did this. Even when I had broken up with him and he came by ringing my door to crawl, he was still locked on his phone. I shut the door and forgot him.

Turns out he was autistic. Aspergers.

My friends all kept their phones in their jackets like me, didnt think about them, except this one dude, he was a bit erm.."Special". he put it right up on the table in front of everybody and after an hour he started squirming saying he had to get home bc he was watching "American idol". He kept that behaviour up for YEARS without caring, yet it was his idea to meet and we didnt meet that often, maybe once every 6 months or so. I found that very rude and asked him about it but never got an answer except a smile.

Always felt we werent important and that his Ameerican Idol and phone, who he could check ANY time but us he didnt meet so often, were the most important thing in his life. He understood how we felt but didnt care and still acts that way. It felt so offputting how he would litterally SQUIRM in his seat bc he wanted to go after an hour tops due to his show coming on, that he could watch when coming home on the nternet anyway. Friendships dont survive a behaviour like that.

 

[bible_student]

I don't think that communication technology is necessarily a bad thing, after all, it allows us to connect with others and do things like talk on this forum, but it depends on how it is used and what we do with it. So in this way it is actually a blessing, but what is not a blessing, is how it is being used to control people. But if we learn to exercise our minds and then to have mental control over it (along with having control over our selves), instead of allowing these things to be used against us, then I can see how it would be good. And there are ways in which I believe that is already happening (like for instance how we use it here for being able to have discussions on this forum). It's not technology which is evil, but it just depends on what you do with it, and how people choose to use it, that seems to be what counts.

 

[Allegra]

I only phubbed my family. I do it 95% of the time, cuz they’re boring xD
For friends, hmm i won’t do it to a friend that I don’t see often, cuz there will be a lot to catch up. If it’s a friend that I see often, like what else to talk, and we’re still able to talk and respond to each other even though we’re both on phone, I won’t hold back.
But I really don’t like to do this to anyone other than my family and close friends.