I second that. Remembering my childhood, I have vague memories of my siblings and I getting spanked by our parents, but in retrospect, I understand why, and I harbour no ill will towards them for it. We were being reprimanded for doing something we shouldn't have been doing. I also recall in elementary school, when kids were sent down to the principal’s office and wondering if they were going to get the ruler. I have to admit, some of us wished they did due to their unruly behaviour… well, I did because some of their behaviour was rather obnoxious (yeah, I’m talking to you Peter, Junior, Norman and Kelvin lol). If memory serves, and because I know someone who was an avid fan of hers, I think Princess Diana even got some flak for spanking Prince William when he was a toddler as her words were to the effect of "he needs to know who’s boss”.
I suppose it ultimately comes down to what are the parents doing with the children when they’re not being punished, which is why I don’t see the punishment in a negative light as my parents were my true guardians when I was growing up and were there to support me and my siblings emotionally when we needed them, and to this very day, I revere and love them. Therefore, I know what they did came from a place of love and raised us the best way they knew how.
Well said.
I definitely agree...parents should be encouraging their children & showing love & support as well.
If the only attention the child receives is when he or she is being corrected, they will begin to feel inferior & withdraw. Eventually, they will give up & stop trying altogether. That could carry over into adulthood.
Being overly critical instead of providing constructive criticism isn’t helpful to anyone, really.
One thing I’ve learned to do that my parents never did with me ( and I really wished they did at that age) is listen. I mean, really listen & let me vent to them sometimes when I felt really alone. I craved that from them, but they didn’t know how, I guess. I don’t blame them, really...they were going through a divorce when I was a teen & I guess they just didn’t have the time or the energy.
Anyway, growing up, just being a teenager in general is incredibly hard. I’m 37 & I remember it like it was yesterday & I remember feeling so conflicted...one minute I had people telling me to grow up, your not a kid anymore, and the next minute you hear, you aren’t an adult you don’t know what you’re talking about.
It was like you just couldn’t find your place in the world because you’re stuck in this transitional period.
Anyway, I remind myself of those challenges and often go to my teens one-on-one and just ask them if they want to talk about anything, no lectures, no right or wrong, just to vent about life & growing up.
Sometimes they asked me for advice, sometimes they just needed someone to sit and listen to them vent, and oftentimes I would sit on their bed and listen to them and by the end of our (or their) talk, they would figure out a solution on their own, without me saying a word.
Our vent sessions have probably done more to bring us closer in the teen years when it is easy for teens to feel like their increasing independence makes it hard for their parents to understand them.