My Family Is Sick

[Dan]

Sick fuck mother sits on her arse drinking vodka all day, reacts when she wants more booze, or can't be BOTHERED to shop. Two idiot brothers at your call.

Argue and you are locked out the house or thrown into prison.

And now the truth comes out, she says the older I get I look more like my cunt of a father and she HATES us both. He is dead somewhere, maybe.

 

[TMT]

Well Dan all i can say is, you are not your family nor are you responsible to them. This is the age of the individual and you should save and leave if they are that toxic.

 

[God_Is_Formless]

Be the change you want to see in others.

Easier said than done, true.

But ask from God and you shall receive.

 

[williejonesjr]

Sorry to hear the bad things about your home life.

 

[The Zone]

Don't become them.

 

[JoChris]

Sick fuck mother sits on her arse drinking vodka all day, reacts when she wants more booze, or can't be BOTHERED to shop. Two idiot brothers at your call.

Argue and you are locked out the house or thrown into prison.

And now the truth comes out, she says the older I get I look more like my cunt of a father and she HATES us both. He is dead somewhere, maybe.

I can't remember if you've said how old you are.
Are you able to get social support for you/ you and your brother to separate from her?
It sounds like a terribly sick relationship you've got, no matter how old or young you are. You cannot change her. All you can do is work on yourself.
If you need professional help of any variety to separate from her, please seek it for your own sake.

 

[No Heart]

I can't remember if you've said how old you are.
Are you able to get social support for you/ you and your brother to separate from her?
It sounds like a terribly sick relationship you've got, no matter how old or young you are. You cannot change her. All you can do is work on yourself.
If you need professional help of any variety to separate from her, please seek it for your own sake.

I already told him something similar in the past, since this isn't his first thread concerning this problem. But he absolutly ignores any advice given. So I assume he doesn't want to change anything, but rather nags about the problem.

 

[justjess]

I think he said something about finances.. there are shelters. So always an option.

 

[DesertRose]

pretend they are not there.
when they are being toxic.
Get your life in order (work and school) and eventual residence even if it is a room in someone's home.
then sayonara.

 

[No Heart]

Told him too, to get his finances straight. Try to find a job which gives you enough payment to at least get a shared apartment. As long as it gets him out of this toxic environment.

But if he reacts to nothing anyone tells him, how would that be helpful? It is just us blabbering at him.

 

[Dan]

I already told him something similar in the past, since this isn't his first thread concerning this problem. But he absolutly ignores any advice given. So I assume he doesn't want to change anything, but rather nags about the problem.

Ignores any advice?! I've got nowhere to fucking go!

 

[DesertRose]

Are you in a small city?

 

[Dan]

Are you in a small city?

London.

 

[JoChris]

London.

Are you able to move somewhere else for jobs etc.?
Do you have any friends, families and/or acquaintances you can live with/ stay short-term until you've got things sorted out?
Have you looked online to see what social services are available to help you make plans for moving out etc.?

You need to research options available for you.

 

[JoChris]

Told him too, to get his finances straight. Try to find a job which gives you enough payment to at least get a shared apartment. As long as it gets him out of this toxic environment.

But if he reacts to nothing anyone tells him, how would that be helpful? It is just us blabbering at him.

He's in an extremely abusive relationship. He's been in it all his life. People tend to stay where they're at until they literally can't any more. It's called fear of change.

I know it appears like nothing we're typing is making any difference, but we also don't know how far he's down the metaphorical path to independence.

 

[justjess]

London has shelters.

 

[JoChris]

London has shelters.

Sadly I assume they're filled to the brim with all the recent tragedies in London.

Dan surely you would be eligible for help for mental services, if you explain your situation. I can easily imagine you having some degree of anxiety, depression or panic disorders.
Social workers etc are there to help people like yourself. Don't be ashamed if you need professional help to get you free or at least cope with living with your mother.

Does anyone know how bad an alcoholic she is?
Support for familes of alcoholics. https://www.adfam.org.uk

 

[DesertRose]

I will pray for you......

 

[God_Is_Formless]

I really wish people could believe in God easily

T_T

I will pray for you too

 

[No Heart]

He's in an extremely abusive relationship. He's been in it all his life. People tend to stay where they're at until they literally can't any more. It's called fear of change.

I know it appears like nothing we're typing is making any difference, but we also don't know how far he's down the metaphorical path to independence.

I understand that it is an extreme situation, but if he just opens threads in this forum about how bad it is, without then ever trying something to get out, guess what? It won't help him! And like you already stated in following posts, there are institutions which can help him. He can even ask a psychiatrist or a therapist about his possibilities to get out, if he is seeing one, what I doubt.

And to seek help, he can use the INTERNET! It isn't like we are still living in times were this great possibility is not available. He can google for institutions or find a forum with people who are specialized in dealing with problems like his. And this is for sure not the right forum for his problems. Do you understand that?

You gave him now plenty of hints what to do, we will see, if he does anything you suggested to him, or if the next "My family is so horrible" thread is just around the corner.