Men are socialized to be rapists

ishigo

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No, its not surface level. When you have radicals teaching young boys to be ashamed of their masculinity, what do you think that does to them? How do you think innocent men feel when told they're responsible for the horrible actions other men do just by virtue of being male? What about the men whose partners and daughters and sisters are victims of sexual violence? Or men that are victims themselves? You blame 50% of humanity for crimes most of them did not even commit. On one hand men are told supressing and not processing emotion is part of "toxic masculinity" but if they start taking offence to the way people like you portray them, then they're mocked anyway for being overly sensitive. I'm a woman calling this a gender war so are you gonna blame my #fragilefemininity then or what?
I agree that toxic masculinity (not ALL masculinity as it's been said a hundred times) doesn't just hurt women but also men if that's what you're trying to say. But then again, I didn't made up the gender roles.
 





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Robin

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I agree that toxic masculinity (not ALL masculinity as we've said a hundred times) doesn't just hurt women but also men if that's what you're trying to say. But then again, I didn't made up the gender roles.
What I'm trying to say is it's not fair to treat this as a Men vs. Women issue or to demonize all men. The title of this thread and the way you comment on it says enough.
 





ishigo

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DevaWolf

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I agree that toxic masculinity (not ALL masculinity as we've said a hundred times) doesn't just hurt women but also men if that's what you're trying to say. But then again, I didn't made up the gender roles.
It does, the systemic oppression of women hurts men, and many fail to see that. Fighting for women's rights is also fighting for men's rights, as a truly equal society will not put undue pressure on both genders.
 





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I'm the most toxic man I know. So that just makes me wonder where the supposed "alpha males" are at. Like I don't see it, I just see a bunch of guys following me around. Like sorry guys, but if you are following another man, you clearly aren't the alpha. And the irony is that people call me gay.

I'm not gay, I'm just nuanced. And my whole point here is that I don't think the toxic masculinity people talk about is really masculine at all. I think it's some type of cover for feminine traits. Like the alpha males are mostly dead, because betas actually procreate better.
 





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It does, the systemic oppression of women hurts men, and many fail to see that. Fighting for women's rights is also fighting for men's rights, as a truly equal society will not put undue pressure on both genders.
I dont think there can be a truly "equal" society. It can be equitable but..... ex: late at night when there are doings outside that need to be dealt with, I dont send my woman to deal with it, I accept the natural gender norm and fulfill my responsibility to deal with the situation.
 





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People can be equals even when they fulfill different roles...
Agreed, but thats an equitable society..... its even in its un-eveness if that makes sense. We can strive for just and equitable societies..... but "equal" expectations are a trap imo.
 





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In 2008, an 18-year-old girl reported being raped at knife-point in her apartment in Lynnwood, WA by a man who had bound her with her own shoelaces. Before leaving, he took pictures of her, and told her he’d publish them online if she told anyone. Nonetheless, she freed herself and called the police to report the r*pe. But within a matter of days, many in her immediate circle, and the male detectives in charge of the case, started to doubt her story. Under pressure, she retracted the accusation, conceding that it may have been a vivid dream.

In 2009, she was charged with false reporting and accepted a plea deal. In 2011, two female detectives in Colorado caught her rapist.

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/20...tails?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=post
Started watching Unbelievable and it's good.
 





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You'll have to forgive me for not trusting an actress.
i can give you some personal accounts, at 5 a 60 year old man put his hand up my skirt, at 10 a 40 year old man sent me a bouquet of flower, at 13 a 50 year old man decided to grab me pin me down and stick his tongue down my throat, at 15 a 50 year old man, who was a friend of my parents, tried to groom me and have sex with me, luckily i did not fall for it, then he tried it with my sister, right in front of me, he didnt care, he saw nothing wrong with it.
you know how i dressed as a teen, baggy band name t shirts and baggy jeans, think limp bizkit fans. it happens to girls and women, a hell of a lot. more than most people realise
 





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i can give you some personal accounts, at 5 a 60 year old man put his hand up my skirt, at 10 a 40 year old man sent me a bouquet of flower, at 13 a 50 year old man decided to grab me pin me down and stick his tongue down my throat, at 15 a 50 year old man, who was a friend of my parents, tried to groom me and have sex with me, luckily i did not fall for it, then he tried it with my sister, right in front of me, he didnt care, he saw nothing wrong with it.
you know how i dressed as a teen, baggy band name t shirts and baggy jeans, think limp bizkit fans. it happens to girls and women, a hell of a lot. more than most people realise
I never disputed the frequency of these happenings. I only said that I wasn't trusting an actress. If you're on VC and expect other posters to trust anything from a Holy Wood mouth-piece, you're in the wrong place.
 





ishigo

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A powerful interview, turn on the subtitles. She puts a lot of things into perpecive about r*pe culture. It's our brothers, our fathers, our uncles, etc. So spare me your "it's not fair to chastise men" bullshit.
 





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i can give you some personal accounts, at 5 a 60 year old man put his hand up my skirt, at 10 a 40 year old man sent me a bouquet of flower, at 13 a 50 year old man decided to grab me pin me down and stick his tongue down my throat, at 15 a 50 year old man, who was a friend of my parents, tried to groom me and have sex with me, luckily i did not fall for it, then he tried it with my sister, right in front of me, he didnt care, he saw nothing wrong with it.
you know how i dressed as a teen, baggy band name t shirts and baggy jeans, think limp bizkit fans. it happens to girls and women, a hell of a lot. more than most people realise
I'm so sorry, Kerri, and understand. And, even when I later had a chance to forgive one of the men who sexually harassed me as a teen, I still wouldn't be alone with him. I did forgive him in my heart. Never told him and didn't need to. He came back into my life briefly through a place I had to do business with even though I almost ran away from that business. I'm glad I didn't run but faced the situation 25 years later and felt healed from it all.