So.... I got married.
Currently in the middle of not being spoken too for the past three days. I re read these posts and can’t believe that I am in this situation. I have filed for divorce but I can honestly say there’s still a part of me hoping he will change. Lol you all told me this would happen but I went through anyways and wasted three years of my life. It’s not over yet as I have to pull the trigger, but I’m starting to realize that I do not want this. Oui vey.
My heart aches for you! I understand how difficult this situation must be, and most probably I presume there was a lot of manipulation involved from his side to get you to go ahead with the marriage?
I would say really start with prayer - like you said you have already done, there is a book by Stormie O' Martian I would highly recommend called The Praying Wife, it is a brilliant book and I have seen things in my marriage change as well because of these prayers.
The book has 30 days of praying for different aspects of your husband's life, and it can be a life changer but you have to count the cost:
The cost of staying in this marriage is praying for your husband, relentlessly, perhaps for many years, and enduring - you will during this time come so close to God that what he does will later not matter to you anymore, you will have so much intimacy with God that the change will come, but there will be hardship and pain before the change.....
The other choice is to leave, God hates divorce, but He is merciful as well and only He knows what you can endure and what is best for you - whether to leave or to stay.
I don't know what He has told you, what He is saying what you must do, but what you choose will shape your life. Through deep prayer and focus on God we can have this incredible relationship with Him - and if you choose to stay in your marriage this will be the only way you will find happiness.
Your husband is acting this way because that is what was modelled to him when he was young, he was never taught to voice his feelings and he learned that manipulation with silence works to get his way - the only way to break this is through prayer, perhaps your prayers will be his only way to salvation....
I believe your answer on this is with God alone, and whatever you choose He will be there for you with open arms, He will comfort you, do what He tells you to do. My heart aches for you, divorce is a much harder choice to make than deciding to get married.....my prayers are with you!