Marriage

[Karlysymon]

Reading these posts makes me very sad. A failed marriage, regardless of the reason, always depresses me.

 

[Lisa]

I think we are excagarating our point because you don't seem to be capable of reason, which is why we go to extreme examples.

I'm glad however to see in this post that you don't think Christians are without issues. That's good on you.

Christians totally have issues...that’s why we need God. If we didn’t think we had issuers..we’d be like the rest of the world who say the don’t need any God.

I am capable of reason..you just haven’t proved your point and then you go to extremes which still doesn’t prove the point just makes it look ridiculous.

 

[DevaWolf]

Christians totally have issues...that’s why we need God. If we didn’t think we had issuers..we’d be like the rest of the world who say the don’t need any God.

I am capable of reason..you just haven’t proved your point and then you go to extremes which still doesn’t prove the point just makes it look ridiculous.

Mirror mirror on the wall. You just described how you come across to everyone else.

 

[Lisa]

Mirror mirror on the wall. You just described how you come across to everyone else.

I think I do prove my point..you just don’t want to admit to it...so you go to extreme to try to prove me wrong.

 

[justjess]

I think I do prove my point..you just don’t want to admit to it...so you go to extreme to try to prove me wrong.

Domestic Violence Murders Are Suddenly On The Rise

The culprit? Guns, according to one researcher.

m.huffpost.com

between 3 and 4 women are murdered by their spouse every day. Every. Day. There was nothing extreme about her point.

PSA: if you are in an abusive situation, get out. Be careful getting out because that is actually the most dangerous time. Call a women’s resource center, do whatever you need. It doesn’t get better except in extremely rare situations and your abuser will not even attempt to change while your still sitting around as a “willing”’punching bag. Do not listen to Lisa.

 

[Lisa]

Domestic Violence Murders Are Suddenly On The Rise

The culprit? Guns, according to one researcher.

m.huffpost.com

between 3 and 4 women are murdered by their spouse every day. Every. Day. There was nothing extreme about her point.

PSA: if you are in an abusive situation, get out. Be careful getting out because that is actually the most dangerous time. Call a women’s resource center, do whatever you need. It doesn’t get better except in extremely rare situations and your abuser will not even attempt to change while your still sitting around as a “willing”’punching bag. Do not listen to Lisa.

Because he doesn’t talk to here sometimes? And that’s going to lead to her death? Um..ok.

Prayer is always a good idea..especially when you are a Christian.

 

[justjess]

Because he doesn’t talk to here sometimes? And that’s going to lead to her death? Um..ok.

Prayer is always a good idea..especially when you are a Christian.

She said he was a drug addict on meth and has been physically violent with her. Stop cherry picking. Stop minimizing. If you enjoyed being verbally and or physically abused - great. You do seem to have masochistic tendencies so no shocker. You can not impose those tendencies on others and your advice in this thread is DANGEROUS.

 

[Lisa]

She said he was a drug addict on meth and has been physically violent with her. Stop cherry picking. Stop minimizing. If you enjoyed being verbally and or physically abused - great. You do seem to have masochistic tendencies so no shocker. You can not impose those tendencies on others and your advice in this thread is DANGEROUS.

Huh...Well the one that I originally responded to..and haha, that could have been in another thread was the husband that would stop talking for a few days and I told that person to pray about it while everyone else said yep, divorce him he won’t change that behavior.

 

[Tidal]

I suppose marriages fail for a number of reasons, I think it's because one of the couple changes later on.
I witnessed it first hand when my sister turned into an evil nagging misery-britches after 5 years of marriage and their marriage went up the spout.
Also, the guy who ran our local pet shop was one of the nicest blokes in the world, but when I asked him if he was married his face fell and he replied "Not any more, she turned evil" and I didn't ask him to elaborate.
So for every failed marriage, either the hub or the wife is to blame; I could be wrong but I tend to think in most cases it's the wife's fault because most women are such fragile emotional creatures, prone to satanic influence.
I never married myself, came close a couple of times but realised it wouldn't work so managed to talk my way out..

 

[justjess]

Huh...Well the one that I originally responded to..and haha, that could have been in another thread was the husband that would stop talking for a few days and I told that person to pray about it while everyone else said yep, divorce him he won’t change that behavior.

Re read the thread Lisa

 

[Lisa]

Re read the thread Lisa

I guess I’ll have to..I don’t know where the post was, but I’ll find it.

 

[Lisa]

Re read the thread Lisa

So..it was this thread..

So.... I got married.

Currently in the middle of not being spoken too for the past three days. I re read these posts and can’t believe that I am in this situation. I have filed for divorce but I can honestly say there’s still a part of me hoping he will change. Lol you all told me this would happen but I went through anyways and wasted three years of my life. It’s not over yet as I have to pull the trigger, but I’m starting to realize that I do not want this. Oui vey.

I’m not sure where the abuse came into it..but there is nothing about abuse in this just that her husband hasn’t talked to her for the past three days and she wants a divorce. Now that’s what I’ve been talking about.

 

[Lisa]

If you are in a relationship where someone makes you miserable, the last thing you should do is marry them.

Maybe it’s not all misery, which is why they got married? Now she is thinking that his behavior won’t go away and her only option is to divorce him. When maybe that’s not the only option? Marriage is hard, learning to live together and love one another is hard and people need to stop thinking that divorce is the answer to all the problems..when they will search for someone ‘better’ only to find out they have problems too.

 

[Moreaboutyou]

My heart aches for you! I understand how difficult this situation must be, and most probably I presume there was a lot of manipulation involved from his side to get you to go ahead with the marriage?

I would say really start with prayer - like you said you have already done, there is a book by Stormie O' Martian I would highly recommend called The Praying Wife, it is a brilliant book and I have seen things in my marriage change as well because of these prayers.
The book has 30 days of praying for different aspects of your husband's life, and it can be a life changer but you have to count the cost:

The cost of staying in this marriage is praying for your husband, relentlessly, perhaps for many years, and enduring - you will during this time come so close to God that what he does will later not matter to you anymore, you will have so much intimacy with God that the change will come, but there will be hardship and pain before the change.....

The other choice is to leave, God hates divorce, but He is merciful as well and only He knows what you can endure and what is best for you - whether to leave or to stay.

I don't know what He has told you, what He is saying what you must do, but what you choose will shape your life. Through deep prayer and focus on God we can have this incredible relationship with Him - and if you choose to stay in your marriage this will be the only way you will find happiness.

Your husband is acting this way because that is what was modelled to him when he was young, he was never taught to voice his feelings and he learned that manipulation with silence works to get his way - the only way to break this is through prayer, perhaps your prayers will be his only way to salvation....

I believe your answer on this is with God alone, and whatever you choose He will be there for you with open arms, He will comfort you, do what He tells you to do. My heart aches for you, divorce is a much harder choice to make than deciding to get married.....my prayers are with you!

Thank you for being caring and giving loving advice. Your words mean more to me than you know. All things will work together for the good of those who love the Lord. All will work out for me. I hope life is treating you well

 

[free2018]

I have to be honest. I know nothing about marriage, but I do know that dealing with NPDs is no fun.

 

[Camidria]

Thank you for being caring and giving loving advice. Your words mean more to me than you know. All things will work together for the good of those who love the Lord. All will work out for me. I hope life is treating you well

Anytime! *hugs* keep me updated if you like, I am here for you!

 

[Simka]

Reading these posts makes me very sad. A failed marriage, regardless of the reason, always depresses me.

This is exactly what I thought when looking through the posts here. I'm sorry so many people have unhappy marriages. But still, there are couples who have been living for decades together and still have warm and trusted relationships.

 

[ToxicFemininitySucks]

What I'm saying is even Christians can marry the wrong people. Free will remember? Can divorce not be part of His plan then? I agree that originally divorce wasn't supposed to happen but it is allowed now "because of the hardness of their hearts".

That's taking it out of context.
Jesus said that divorce was not part of the plan originally (Adam and Eve), but because of the hardness of their hearts it was allowed under the Mosaic Law. Not that it's allowed NOW.

Of course, people will do what they will, I'm just saying that Jesus was not condoning divorce.

 

[Busbyx]

This is exactly what I thought when looking through the posts here. I'm sorry so many people have unhappy marriages. But still, there are couples who have been living for decades together and still have warm and trusted relationships.

What I learned from my experience, is that a couple needs to talk. Together you can overcome any trouble. I remember when I experienced a big stress at work but didn't tell my wife anything. It got to that point that I started to struggle with anxiety. The doctor prescribed me anti-anxiety medication and Generic Cialis to cope with that. When I finally told my wife what was going on, I definitely felt better. We tried to search the decision together and I felt the great support from her part. That's what a marriage is about, I can always rely on her.