Phew... I tried to catch up with this thread as much as I can ^^ First of all hello to all new Users!
A while ago one of the members from other thread wrote:
blue - childlike
green - healing from ritual, transformation, turning a new "leaf"
grey - moody or no feelings
pink - beta kitten/se#ual; feminine, childlike
purple/violet - ritual (preparing to be programmed); superior
dark yellow - neutral, about to be programmed, precarious
white/blonde - programmed, beta kitten
red - aggressive, se#ual, beta kitten
black - normal or even those who are superior and those who have completed programming
brown - slightly programmed
platinum - superior and magician (ritual)
Hard for me to say if they are completely true, but that's what I've found
My... Thank you so much for sharing your honest feelings
I really hope the tiresome thoughts will leave you and that you will find peace. The fact that you take up the fight is already glorious of you
I can tell you out of my own experience, that once I had really dark and depressing time, although I always tried to be close to the God, that time, same as you, I couldn't totally open my heart to Him and didn't know how to pray, what to say... Generally I was a total chaos. But I've learned that we have to be unceasing and continuously ask God to help us open up to Him. It often takes a long time, but God really bestows His grace
And how much He can change our lives is beyond words (I'm not trying to exaggerate anything, I simply mean it)
If you'd like to talk or discuss sth please feel free to write to me in priv
I'll gladly help as much as I can!