Just a bit of venting

[Maes17]

Well, I didn’t want to
....but I need an outlet to let off some thoughts. Lol.
For the most part I love life. So I’m not depressed or anything. ( I think).

Where to start?
Holiday hours - fricken bless am I ever so burnt out from working 51 hours overtime. Two paychecks of hitting past 40 hours overtime at that. Giving my youngin a good Christmas was worth it though despite feeling beat and something I have a hard tome recovering from.

Gym - Seeing progress in my passion for fitness. I approach workouts in an intelligent fashion. Similar to setting up specific programs for performance, strength etc. I played american football and ice hockey and fell in love with the training and injury prevention. So that’s been my hobby away from work.

Now my main vent. I think I burned bridges with whom I considered my best friend.
Try to shorten this as much as I could. We went to high school and college together.
Pretty much kept in touch despite our careers forcing us to live cross country. I considered him a brother.
We’d tell each other and support each other in everything. From family advice, mood uplifting etc.

I personally have felt kinda distant from him since thanksgiving. So everytime he’d call or text I’d respond with a “I have nothing to share” type of response. Seems over the holidays I would kinda distant him off. Mind you this a friend who would check on me every morning to say hi. It’s been 4 weeks since he’s said anything after I said maybe he should make a new best friend in his current town.

Now I feel bad. I even texted and left a message with an apology.
Sorry for the dumb story VCers. Just needed to let some steam out

 

[JoChris]

Well, I didn’t want to
....but I need an outlet to let off some thoughts. Lol.
For the most part I love life. So I’m not depressed or anything. ( I think).

Where to start?
Holiday hours - fricken bless am I ever so burnt out from working 51 hours overtime. Two paychecks of hitting past 40 hours overtime at that. Giving my youngin a good Christmas was worth it though despite feeling beat and something I have a hard tome recovering from.

Gym - Seeing progress in my passion for fitness. I approach workouts in an intelligent fashion. Similar to setting up specific programs for performance, strength etc. I played american football and ice hockey and fell in love with the training and injury prevention. So that’s been my hobby away from work.

Now my main vent. I think I burned bridges with whom I considered my best friend.
Try to shorten this as much as I could. We went to high school and college together.
Pretty much kept in touch despite our careers forcing us to live cross country. I considered him a brother.
We’d tell each other and support each other in everything. From family advice, mood uplifting etc.

I personally have felt kinda distant from him since thanksgiving. So everytime he’d call or text I’d respond with a “I have nothing to share” type of response. Seems over the holidays I would kinda distant him off. Mind you this a friend who would check on me every morning to say hi. It’s been 4 weeks since he’s said anything after I said maybe he should make a new best friend in his current town.

Now I feel bad. I even texted and left a message with an apology.
Sorry for the dumb story VCers. Just needed to let some steam out

Can you identify to yourself what contributed to your distancing yourself away from him?
I bet your work overload had a lot to do with it.

 

[Maes17]

Can you identify to yourself what contributed to your distancing yourself away from him?
I bet your work overload had a lot to do with it.

I’m still trying to figure that out tbh.
Maybe the work overload.

I’ve tried reaching out to him expressing apologies etc.
I’d figure sitting on it a month, he’d check in. Guess not.

 

[JoChris]

I’m still trying to figure that out tbh.
Maybe the work overload.

I’ve tried reaching out to him expressing apologies etc.
I’d figure sitting on it a month, he’d check in. Guess not.

I think this sentence might have a bit to do with it.

"It’s been 4 weeks since he’s said anything after I said maybe he should make a new best friend in his current town."

That could have been interpreted as personal rejection, so if you want to make another message perhaps you could address that, saying you didn't mean it the way it sounded etc?

I bet you meant that objectively, but a sensitive person (like myself) would have taken it the wrong way.

 

[Maes17]

I think this sentence might have a bit to do with it.

"It’s been 4 weeks since he’s said anything after I said maybe he should make a new best friend in his current town."

That could have been interpreted as personal rejection, so if you want to make another message perhaps you could address that, saying you didn't mean it the way it sounded etc?

I bet you meant that objectively, but a sensitive person (like myself) would have taken it the wrong way.

I understand and did apologize.
Maybe he just needs time. I could’ve worded it a lot better.

 

[JoChris]

I understand and did apologize.
Maybe he just needs time. I could’ve worded it a lot better.

Well if the worst happens and your friendship doesn't get restored then view it as a hard way to learn not to take precious relationships for granted. It is a real shame this has happened for you both though.

 

[Hon33]

I understand and did apologize.
Maybe he just needs time. I could’ve worded it a lot better.

It was quite a harsh thing to say. Then, instead of immediately apologising you waited 4 weeks to see if he would contact you?
Perhaps you could try one last time to apologise. Tell him that you realise it’s not an excuse, but you were feeling a bit stressed with work etc and you absolutely shouldn’t have said what you did. You dint want to lose what you’ve had and you would appreciate one more chance.
If he is willing to give your friendship another go, make sure you don’t treat him that way again!

 

[Maes17]

It was quite a harsh thing to say. Then, instead of immediately apologising you waited 4 weeks to see if he would contact you?
Perhaps you could try one last time to apologise. Tell him that you realise it’s not an excuse, but you were feeling a bit stressed with work etc and you absolutely shouldn’t have said what you did. You dint want to lose what you’ve had and you would appreciate one more chance.
If he is willing to give your friendship another go, make sure you don’t treat him that way again!

I apologized a couple days after. It’s been four weeks since he’s last contacted me. I’ll give him time. But yes! You guys are right, it was harsh on my behalf. This was a friendship that lasted over a decade and I feel I screwed it up. Trying to make things better.

 

[Hon33]

Good Luck. Hopefully you can sort it out

 

[Lisa]

I can see why you’re upset about this. Maybe you should call your friend and not just text?

 

[Maes17]

I can see why you’re upset about this. Maybe you should call your friend and not just text?

I’ve called, texted. Nothing.

Probably more upset with myself cause how I handled the situation

 

[Lisa]

I’ve called, texted. Nothing.

Probably more upset with myself cause how I handled the situation

That’s too bad I’ll pray for your situation.

 

[Maes17]

Thanks guys!
The world goes on. Stay safe out there and let this be a lesson learned to not push away those who truly care about you.

I’ll be fine. The friend situation stings a bit, but hopefully he comes around. If not, he has every reason to ignore me. I’ll admit, I messed up.

 

[Glad 2 know]

I apologized a couple days after. It’s been four weeks since he’s last contacted me. I’ll give him time. But yes! You guys are right, it was harsh on my behalf. This was a friendship that lasted over a decade and I feel I screwed it up. Trying to make things better.

Well, I didn’t want to
....but I need an outlet to let off some thoughts. Lol.
For the most part I love life. So I’m not depressed or anything. ( I think).

Where to start?
Holiday hours - fricken bless am I ever so burnt out from working 51 hours overtime. Two paychecks of hitting past 40 hours overtime at that. Giving my youngin a good Christmas was worth it though despite feeling beat and something I have a hard tome recovering from.
You're burned out yourself and it's totally understandable that you want to do something to counteract that feeling. Wanting to spend time with friends is the a healthy way to recover from all that stress.
Gym - Seeing progress in my passion for fitness. I approach workouts in an intelligent fashion. Similar to setting up specific programs for performance, strength etc. I played american football and ice hockey and fell in love with the training and injury prevention. So that’s been my hobby away from work.
It's a great thing you have a healthy hobby, I wish more people had this kind of mindset, doing something wholesome and constructive.
Now my main vent. I think I burned bridges with whom I considered my best friend.
Try to shorten this as much as I could. We went to high school and college together.
Pretty much kept in touch despite our careers forcing us to live cross country. I considered him a brother.
We’d tell each other and support each other in everything. From family advice, mood uplifting etc.
What an awesome thing to have Maes, not everybody has this kind of frienship and if he's one of those rare gems, he's definitely a friendship that should be kept.
I personally have felt kinda distant from him since thanksgiving. So everytime he’d call or text I’d respond with a “I have nothing to share” type of response. Seems over the holidays I would kinda distant him off. Mind you this a friend who would check on me every morning to say hi. It’s been 4 weeks since he’s said anything after I said maybe he should make a new best friend in his current town.
Maybe he's feeling burned out too, this condition can leave a person wanting to be alone and dealing with things by themselves. They feel so overwhelmed that being with friends is a stressor and that's why they avoid socialization. This world can really take a toll on people's friendships and tear apart unity and togetherness. Maybe you can try saying something like " You must be feeling burned out, or overwhelmed but I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and I hope that whatever you have going on, passes quickly. I miss your company and when you feel up to it, let me know and we can go out and grab lunch, go out for a walk, etc. You're not forgotten so don't ever think that and I'm always hoping for the best for you" Some words of encouragement and inclusion make a HUGE difference. I sincerely hope you can reach out to him in this way and I hope he can open up. I'm also hoping for the best.
Now I feel bad. I even texted and left a message with an apology.
Sorry for the dumb story VCers. Just needed to let some steam out
It's a good thing you apologized Maes, that means a LOT. It means you truly care.
It's good to let steam out, venting is healthy and it should be done more often.

 

[Maes17]

Thanks G2K.

Well my friend finally came around. Said he understood why I was being harsh.
Chatted and he caught me up over the holidays. So glad he stuck around

 

[Aero]

Texting every day is a bit much for friends. So I don't think you were wrong.

At least you have a friend that will talk about normal stuff. All my friends ever wanted to do was dumb shit, which is fine. The problem is my friends never really owned the dumb shit they did. So it was left to me to own it all, and sometimes I want to be the normal one.

 

[Lisa]

Thanks G2K.

Well my friend finally came around. Said he understood why I was being harsh.
Chatted and he caught me up over the holidays. So glad he stuck around

O how wonderful!!! Thanks for letting us know! Glad you got your friend back, thank you God for answered prayer.

 

[Glad 2 know]

Thanks G2K.

Well my friend finally came around. Said he understood why I was being harsh.
Chatted and he caught me up over the holidays. So glad he stuck around

You're welcome Maes, I'm so happy to hear that What a nice friend you have I wish I would have someone like that, instead of feeling immensely offended he took a good look and understood. After all, friends do care.
I'm glad he stuck around too, those kind of friendships should be kept and some bumps and pitfalls can be used to strengthen. Your post was helpful in a lot of ways

 

[Maes17]

Thanks for the prayers and positive thoughts.
This hiccup was a good learning experience. And yeah he is a good friend.

 

[Maes17]

Texting every day is a bit much for friends. So I don't think you were wrong.

At least you have a friend that will talk about normal stuff. All my friends ever wanted to do was dumb shit, which is fine. The problem is my friends never really owned the dumb shit they did. So it was left to me to own it all, and sometimes I want to be the normal one.

Maybe not everyday literally, but we keep in touch quite a bit. He is like a brother to me, even though we live miles apart now. We’ve had some deep conversations about life and family at times. Especially since we’re both dads, we’ve always kept each other in the loop with our kiddos milestones.