Is this true?

morita

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I heard married women say being a wife is like bein a second mom to your husband, when I look at my ants I can't help but think there might be some truth in that statement. What are your thoughts?
 






morita

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I had one dance teacher who straight up called his wife "mommy" so it's not just my ants.
 






Haich

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Well for me there is some truth to this.

When my husband has a cold or the flu, he's in bed and acts so dependent. I have to baby him, reassure him that he isn't dying and it'll all pass...then after a week or so he's right as rain.

I think women, generally, can handle more. I've had severe morning sickness for 4 months which has only just eased, had the flu (maybe covid 19 tbh as it was pretty bad!) homeschooled my 4 year old boy, maintained the house, worked from home tutoring online and cooked every day (we tend to eat traditional dishes which require a bit of effort!)

It was hell, I cried, vomited on my son's lap, fell asleep on the sofa countless times...but I got through it. My mum was also a huge help and came a few times a week!

My husband works full time so he also helped after work and weekends but the point is, women, especially mums do a hell of a lot and we get on with it.
 






Haich

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However the OP couldn't be further from reality...I think men who expect their wives to do everything have probably been spoilt by their mothers from an early age. Many cultures over indulge their sons and put them on a pedestal...this has serious ramifications for them in adult life and could affect the longevity of their relationships if left unchecked...

Marriage shouldn't be about one partner constantly mothering the other...support yes, especially in times of hardship but a man shouldn't view his wife as an extension of his mother.
 






Thunderian

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Well for me there is some truth to this.

When my husband has a cold or the flu, he's in bed and acts so dependent. I have to baby him, reassure him that he isn't dying and it'll all pass...then after a week or so he's right as rain.

I think women, generally, can handle more. I've had severe morning sickness for 4 months which has only just eased, had the flu (maybe covid 19 tbh as it was pretty bad!) homeschooled my 4 year old boy, maintained the house, worked from home tutoring online and cooked every day (we tend to eat traditional dishes which require a bit of effort!)

It was hell, I cried, vomited on my son's lap, fell asleep on the sofa countless times...but I got through it. My mum was also a huge help and came a few times a week!

My husband works full time so he also helped after work and weekends but the point is, women, especially mums do a hell of a lot and we get on with it.
I wish my wife would take care of me. When I was on the couch, dying of cancer, she was like, “Now that you’re not working, could you take that pile of junk to the dump?”

I think a man can enjoy being mothered without it meaning he can’t take care of himself. Guys generally don’t take care of themselves, not because they can’t, but because they have more important things to do. Last year I worked for a month with a collapsed lung, because we needed the money, but now that I couldn’t work if I wanted to, I’ve been laying on the bed moaning all day because I have a cold. It all depends on the situation.
 






Thunderian

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However the OP couldn't be further from reality...I think men who expect their wives to do everything have probably been spoilt by their mothers from an early age. Many cultures over indulge their sons and put them on a pedestal...this has serious ramifications for them in adult life and could affect the longevity of their relationships if left unchecked...

Marriage shouldn't be about one partner constantly mothering the other...support yes, especially in times of hardship but a man shouldn't view his wife as an extension of his mother.
We all like being babied now and then, but it shouldn’t be a way of life. Any guy who’s lost without his mom ain’t much of a man, but I would be devastated without my wife. I couldn’t do any of this alone.
 






Haich

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I wish my wife would take care of me. When I was on the couch, dying of cancer, she was like, “Now that you’re not working, could you take that pile of junk to the dump?”

I think a man can enjoy being mothered without it meaning he can’t take care of himself. Guys generally don’t take care of themselves, not because they can’t, but because they have more important things to do. Last year I worked for a month with a collapsed lung, because we needed the money, but now that I couldn’t work if I wanted to, I’ve been laying on the bed moaning all day because I have a cold. It all depends on the situation.
You're very strong to work have worked through your illness. A true testament to your character and role as a father/husband...

Come on! I'm sure she was just exhausted from work and the kids...I know I can be snappy when I'm overwhelmed with my duties.

Hmm I disagree, I think both husband and wife have important duties but you're definitely right that men prefer to have someone take care of them and just relax...not because they can't take care of themselves but because it's easier if someone else does it.

My main issue with my husband is his habit of hiding dirty socks all over the house. Behind the radiators, toilet tall boy and more recently, the storage room downstairs. His answer? Oh I forget to put them in the laundry basket...

Right, I'll just forget to cook dinner and get your cola then.
 






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I had one dance teacher who straight up called his wife "mommy" so it's not just my ants.
I think that's just a personal...sexual nickname if you ask me...otherwise, married people have to take care of each other y'know? To me, it doesn't look like a parental thing to each other, it's simply care and compassion for one another.
 






justjess

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You're very strong to work have worked through your illness. A true testament to your character and role as a father/husband...

Come on! I'm sure she was just exhausted from work and the kids...I know I can be snappy when I'm overwhelmed with my duties.

Hmm I disagree, I think both husband and wife have important duties but you're definitely right that men prefer to have someone take care of them and just relax...not because they can't take care of themselves but because it's easier if someone else does it.

My main issue with my husband is his habit of hiding dirty socks all over the house. Behind the radiators, toilet tall boy and more recently, the storage room downstairs. His answer? Oh I forget to put them in the laundry basket...

Right, I'll just forget to cook dinner and get your cola then.
My husband does that shit with the socks too! And my son! I find socks literally everywhere...

And then I get scolded for forgetting to empty the lint trap in the dryer! Lol.. I am not the only one who lives here and is supposed to be doing laundry ffs.
 






morita

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However the OP couldn't be further from reality...I think men who expect their wives to do everything have probably been spoilt by their mothers from an early age. Many cultures over indulge their sons and put them on a pedestal...this has serious ramifications for them in adult life and could affect the longevity of their relationships if left unchecked...

Marriage shouldn't be about one partner constantly mothering the other...support yes, especially in times of hardship but a man shouldn't view his wife as an extension of his mother.
I grew up in some very patriarcal places. Women would do everything in the house and men would just...be there and expect to be fed, and cared for. Until they would go to work.
 






Thunderian

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You're very strong to work have worked through your illness. A true testament to your character and role as a father/husband...
Thank you. In all honesty, I didn’t know I had a collapsed lung at the time. I was short of breath, but not incapacitated, and like I said, we needed the money. When I finally stopped working, it was because I was physically unable to, and I wasn’t happy about it. There’s a fine line between being willing to die for your family, which all men should be willing to do without a second thought, and killing yourself for them. I think I was over the line for awhile.

Come on! I'm sure she was just exhausted from work and the kids...I know I can be snappy when I'm overwhelmed with my duties.
I just asked why she doesn’t mother me, and she said, “Why would I do that? Are you going to fix the trampoline today?”

My wife is great, but her bedside manner is awful.

Hmm I disagree, I think both husband and wife have important duties but you're definitely right that men prefer to have someone take care of them and just relax...not because they can't take care of themselves but because it's easier if someone else does it.
I think that when it comes to sickness, men will accept care if it’s offered, but won’t provide it to themselves if they have to.

My main issue with my husband is his habit of hiding dirty socks all over the house. Behind the radiators, toilet tall boy and more recently, the storage room downstairs. His answer? Oh I forget to put them in the laundry basket...

Right, I'll just forget to cook dinner and get your cola then.
I’m the one doing the cooking, these days, but the laundry thing seems pretty accurate. :)
 






Haich

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I grew up in some very patriarcal places. Women would do everything in the house and men would just...be there and expect to be fed, and cared for. Until they would go to work.
I was born in london but my parents came here in their teens so they brought certain aspects of Somali culture with them. I get you, patriarchal cultures bring out the worst in men who adhere to it.

My dad is great, love him- but my mum did mother him their entire marriage and I can see the toll it has taken now they're in their late 50s.

I'd say don't take these cultures as a blueprint for what marriage is like. It can be incredible if you're willing to both work together...
 






Haich

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But seriously, men can't do laundry.

It isn't hard! Just separate your colours and add soap and softener.

I think it's the effort of doing it that they hate.
 






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