I have a friend..

Hon33

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She’s not good to her children but what you find worrying is she treats animals badly?
That’s not what I said. What I was referring to is the fact that research has shown there is a definite link between those who have certain personality types such as psychopathic or sociopathic personality disorders and those who act cruelly towards animals. It a well-known red flag.
 

Hon33

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Unfortunally you're right, both her mother and I suspect she is autistic aswell as the diagnosis of schizoaffectice disorder she has gotten. She was training the cat to go to the bathroom on one of those litter qwitter things but she went in super speed and I told her several times it takes weeks on just one stage but she acted like the cat should have learned yesterday when also in a completely new environment and with a new person.

Her mother suspected something was off I think with the cat scenario because she called the seller and told her she was mentally ill and couldn't care for a cat. I don't know how it went except she said she sold it so I hope it ended up in a better place, it was one of those naked cats that looked like a big rat, lol! Horrible! I prefer them hairy with big butts myself. :oops: I think she got it bc I have a cat and its my best friend and I always talk about it and tell about how I love it so she must have thought her life would be better if she just got a cat aswell, she is super easily affectable. Even her belief gets crushed if she's around nonbelievers, she says.

One thing bothers me through all the years.. I visited her in the psych ward once and we passed this goodlooking guy in the hallway, I told her he was hot and as we passed she asked him about the scar in his face. He squirmed and I could tell he was really hurt about it bc he was already in such a vulnerable position to be in the psych ward and to have shoved in his face he had a scar aswell was it for him, he didnt wanna be there and she just chuckled and didn't understand she had done wrong at all. My heart died alittle for him bc he did NOT need that too. I think then and there I cut the friendship off with her in my heart. That was just cruel. And she friggin CHUCKLED. So yeah, autistic I think bc she can do things like making enemies with her neighbour only to call him the next day asking him to pay for her lawyer to get her children back. I've talked to him on several occations (very pleasant guy) and he said "Look, I understood pretty quickly she was mentally ill" and then he told me she had called and asked that about the money like it was the most obvious thing in the world he would pay.

Completely surreal!

I've been so close over the years soo many times to telling her I really do think she is mentally ill, bc she has NO insight whatsoever. But she gets really angry when anyone even hints she might be so I backed down.

And the surreal behaviour.. My god. She told me once she had had an itch under her lip and as she bend up her lip to check, a chrysalis had popped out. Another time she came and said she had chrysalis in her blood.

:oops:
I dint think any of those behaviours are typically autistic. They are more in keeping with someone who has no feelings or no conscience; who is infact devoid of emotion.

Autistic people do feel. If anything they feel things very intensely. They just don’t always know how to process what they feel. Does that make sense?
 

Hon33

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Thank you So much! <3 I was a bit scared I'd seem like I raised myself and lowered her but I am by no means perfect, haha! By faaar actually but I do try. She is another story though, I've met many crazies in my life but not to this extent. Noone has ever climbed on their roof and screamed, you know? How did she even dare? Its HIGH up. Like she thinks she's invincible.

The narc thing is interesting since I just weeks ago realised that's what I attract so if she is one, it fits perfectly. But she has empathy with me, she'll ask if I want gloves when its cold out and offer me food bc she knows my fridge used to be pretty empty.

Whoa..! How can a student pay other peoples bills? In Sweden you have like $700 for rent and everything, you hardly survive! And BOTH of them being paranoid? Oh man.. This one is paranoid aswell, she always seem to suspect somethings wrong when you offer her anything which I found very burdening. You couldnt do a thing without getting a look of "And why would you offer this?" I always felt like a suspect. Think thats typical for schizophrenia though since another friend with it was the same way.

God damn, if you helped them despite you being on the starving limit yourself, it means you're probably a super empath like me and we're the kind narcs take advantage of. Theyre entitled, we're inferiour so its a perfect match.

Wait what?! You not only paied their bills but they caused YOU damages and had the nerve to not pay?? Oh man, I'd never talk to them again. Sure if it was an accident and they showed remorse but they sound like horrible people!

Yeapp, youre absolutely right here "She behaves this way, because, unfortunately, she can, she has never heard "no" for an answer. Her parents cater to her every whim and they are the ones responsible here.

Because they're old now, her mom's 66 and her dads in his 70's and they're eventually gonna crash and fall and can't be there anymore and then she'll have herself and noone else since her siblings seem to not want to really engage with her, they seem more normal and know there's nothing to explore by trying to socialise with her. No connection. I always felt so alone when with her, like I was more alone than actually being just alone. It's because we are worlds apart, straight opposites.

Ooh girl, "Life has taught me that people don't change unless they sincerely want to and it's not your job to help them" I'm learning this right now! Its been a though lesson bc I really wanted to help but no, they have to learn it themselves just like you say. I know people who are in their 60's who just ended up alone and they're learning now.. In their 60's..I learned as an infant you're on your own, geez. But then again Ive never been spoiled. Not the way she is, I had a few things sure but her case is extreme. If she had saved up all that money she gt for lawyers, rent and buying crap with, she'd have the downpayment for a condo or house!

You have to let her go and take care of yourself first, it's not egocentric, it's survival, and she clearly doesn't deserve you. Try not to answer her calls and deny her visits, it will be hard for you at the beginning because she will insist on interacting with you persistently, but don't give in.

Youre so damn right and I did this for 1,5 years but once she saw me outside, even biking, like on the bikeland going fast, she came and grabbed my arm like "Hello! I'm a queen, you don't avoid talking to me!" So there's no way of avoiding her except keep pretending she's air even when she grabbs, next time she'll have to get dragged after the bike then bc I wont get off. I really am starting to fukn HATE her, pardon my french. It's been 7 YEARS, I am overly kind. You know how this works and you understand my frustration aswell.. I'm just scared she'll come by and throw stones through my windows and trash the place..she's crazy enough to do it.

You know.. don't know if you believe in these things and I'm a christian myself so its no hocus pocus I hope but white butterflies usually land on me and stay for hours, just sitting on my pants or whatever and finally I looked up what it means and it stands for rebirth, transformation and maybe it means I'm learning this and learning how to cast these lifespark vampires off? Bc there really has been VERY many of them over the years. Throw one away and four more pops back in.

Yeah, I think this is a spiritual journey where I learn to get a teflon protection layer that will hinder them from sucking out my lifeforce bc DAMN they bleed you dry! When you cant get rid of a person at first its annoying, then you feel sad for them and finally you start hating them for not respecting your wish.

Its common they eat and eat? Because I have another friend with schizo and she does the same, she even ups and leaves after 20 minutes, leaves you sitting there bc shes going home to eat. So you cant really go anywhere with her. I told her to eat out or bring food then but nah, gotta go home. Kinda restricts your life.

I started digging in that and found their blood sugar must be off and they try regulating it with food bc they dont eat huge amounts just small but super often.
Also, just let me add. Sociopathic/psychopathic people are very intelligent and very manipulative. They know it is socially appropriate to offer you gloves or food etc. They don’t do it because they care. They do it because they want you to think they care.
 

Lisa

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Mar 13, 2017
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20,288
That’s not what I said. What I was referring to is the fact that research has shown there is a definite link between those who have certain personality types such as psychopathic or sociopathic personality disorders and those who act cruelly towards animals. It a well-known red flag.
Sure...but I think the red flag would also be she didn’t treat her kids good either is all I’m saying.
 

Bubble_tea

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Apr 18, 2019
Messages
242
Thank you So much! <3 I was a bit scared I'd seem like I raised myself and lowered her but I am by no means perfect, haha! By faaar actually but I do try. She is another story though, I've met many crazies in my life but not to this extent. Noone has ever climbed on their roof and screamed, you know? How did she even dare? Its HIGH up. Like she thinks she's invincible.

The narc thing is interesting since I just weeks ago realised that's what I attract so if she is one, it fits perfectly. But she has empathy with me, she'll ask if I want gloves when its cold out and offer me food bc she knows my fridge used to be pretty empty.

Whoa..! How can a student pay other peoples bills? In Sweden you have like $700 for rent and everything, you hardly survive! And BOTH of them being paranoid? Oh man.. This one is paranoid aswell, she always seem to suspect somethings wrong when you offer her anything which I found very burdening. You couldnt do a thing without getting a look of "And why would you offer this?" I always felt like a suspect. Think thats typical for schizophrenia though since another friend with it was the same way.

God damn, if you helped them despite you being on the starving limit yourself, it means you're probably a super empath like me and we're the kind narcs take advantage of. Theyre entitled, we're inferiour so its a perfect match.

Wait what?! You not only paied their bills but they caused YOU damages and had the nerve to not pay?? Oh man, I'd never talk to them again. Sure if it was an accident and they showed remorse but they sound like horrible people!

Yeapp, youre absolutely right here "She behaves this way, because, unfortunately, she can, she has never heard "no" for an answer. Her parents cater to her every whim and they are the ones responsible here.

Because they're old now, her mom's 66 and her dads in his 70's and they're eventually gonna crash and fall and can't be there anymore and then she'll have herself and noone else since her siblings seem to not want to really engage with her, they seem more normal and know there's nothing to explore by trying to socialise with her. No connection. I always felt so alone when with her, like I was more alone than actually being just alone. It's because we are worlds apart, straight opposites.

Ooh girl, "Life has taught me that people don't change unless they sincerely want to and it's not your job to help them" I'm learning this right now! Its been a though lesson bc I really wanted to help but no, they have to learn it themselves just like you say. I know people who are in their 60's who just ended up alone and they're learning now.. In their 60's..I learned as an infant you're on your own, geez. But then again Ive never been spoiled. Not the way she is, I had a few things sure but her case is extreme. If she had saved up all that money she gt for lawyers, rent and buying crap with, she'd have the downpayment for a condo or house!

You have to let her go and take care of yourself first, it's not egocentric, it's survival, and she clearly doesn't deserve you. Try not to answer her calls and deny her visits, it will be hard for you at the beginning because she will insist on interacting with you persistently, but don't give in.

Youre so damn right and I did this for 1,5 years but once she saw me outside, even biking, like on the bikeland going fast, she came and grabbed my arm like "Hello! I'm a queen, you don't avoid talking to me!" So there's no way of avoiding her except keep pretending she's air even when she grabbs, next time she'll have to get dragged after the bike then bc I wont get off. I really am starting to fukn HATE her, pardon my french. It's been 7 YEARS, I am overly kind. You know how this works and you understand my frustration aswell.. I'm just scared she'll come by and throw stones through my windows and trash the place..she's crazy enough to do it.

You know.. don't know if you believe in these things and I'm a christian myself so its no hocus pocus I hope but white butterflies usually land on me and stay for hours, just sitting on my pants or whatever and finally I looked up what it means and it stands for rebirth, transformation and maybe it means I'm learning this and learning how to cast these lifespark vampires off? Bc there really has been VERY many of them over the years. Throw one away and four more pops back in.

Yeah, I think this is a spiritual journey where I learn to get a teflon protection layer that will hinder them from sucking out my lifeforce bc DAMN they bleed you dry! When you cant get rid of a person at first its annoying, then you feel sad for them and finally you start hating them for not respecting your wish.

Its common they eat and eat? Because I have another friend with schizo and she does the same, she even ups and leaves after 20 minutes, leaves you sitting there bc shes going home to eat. So you cant really go anywhere with her. I told her to eat out or bring food then but nah, gotta go home. Kinda restricts your life.

I started digging in that and found their blood sugar must be off and they try regulating it with food bc they dont eat huge amounts just small but super often.
Not at all, dear, it didn't seem like you lowered her and you don't need to feel guilty about a situation that is definitely not your fault. Those kind of people are great manipulators and they will always make you feel like you are in the wrong and question/dismiss your feelings and have you remorseful.

Oh my, you can't imagine how I feel you, I would attract narcs all the time too. I totally get that she was being kind to you and all, and I had those exact thoughts about narcissistic people as well. But the truth is, if an emotionally abusive person treats you good some of the time and then they go back to treating you horribly and disrespecting you, have they stopped being emotionally abusive? Why not find people who treats you right in every circumstance instead. They are throwing "the crumbs" at your side (not the full dish) so you remain attached to them. It may sound like a given, but it took me years to fully realize that.

Ah yes, unfortunately, it is exactly how you describe it, I'm empath too but it feels like a burden to me and has caused me serious anxiety. :3 I like helping out people and being there for them, but most of them feel entitled to it and take it for granted. It wasn't until last year that I learned that I have to make a room for myself too and not live for others. I believe it would be also important for you to set some boundaries to yourself and others, what you can tolerate or not, which are your limits, and stick to it, be firm and decisive, if you respect your limits and have them always in mind when engaging with people, then others will respect them too.

For me, I think that the worst part was that they lied to her internet friends (she didn't have friends IRL) that I stole them the money. How can a person that considers you a friend, blatantly accuses you of such terrible things? They gave me the money back when I showed them the damages, agreed to it and then undermined me like that. I even lent her 700 euros when I was at high school (that I had just won at a school competition, it's not I have that much of money) to fix their luxurious car bc she was whining that her father would take it away if she didn't get it fixed, and took her years to give it back to me claiming she had no money, while she was buying the latest version of Playstation and other unimportant things. Looking back at it, I feel so stupid now, but I couldn't see it back then, bc she acted like she cared for me in most cases. She wasn't even in love with her bf but she didn't broke up with him because she confessed to me that he was paying her the bills, buying her gifts etc. Her mother also took advantage of him. Zero dignity.


Most people don't want to change for anyone and anything, they are too settled. If they decide to change, it is usually for selfish reasons, when they realize they have something to lose. Also, because they are old, doesn't mean they've become mature as being mature means they had previously worked on their selves while most of them do not. At least it's what I've been taught at my psychology classes.


Yes, I understand this is a difficult situation, I think it would be the best if you just pretended that she isn't there, she only insists because she thinks she can get you come around,show her that she can't, you are more powerful than you think, you have to remember it. Your mental health is the most important and she wants to drag you down into her misery, negative people are seriously dangerous because they channel their negativity into others and they can cause even physical problems, please be careful. <3 Wow, the fact that butterflies casually land on you is soo beautiful and magnificent, I don't follow any organized religion but I'm spiritual and I can assure you it is a great sign, I'm sure you will step out as a winner, you are already halfway there by acknowledging and wanting to face the problem. As you said, it's a spiritual journey and life never stops teaching us lessons throughout our lives, it's an never-ending journey actually.

A little off topic, but If I remember correctly you mentioned that you live in Sweden? How cool, I really love and admire your country, and I consider having my master there and maybe live permanently some day, may I ask how is life there? I am really sorry for the off topic, we just don't have any Swedes (not that I know of) in my country for me to ask and I'd really like to learn from a native, it's ok if you aren't in the mood to answer of course ~

Omg, sorry for the extremely long post!
 
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Glad 2 know

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Hi Vixy, I'm so so sorry you've been dealing with this poor, tortured soul that behaves like a destructive tornado.
Mental illness is SOOOOOO complicated that it leaves you feeling all kinds of things and it's hard to make sense of anything when dealing with it it. You don't even have the illness and yet it feels horrible seeing someone you know battling with it and dealing with the destructive behavior. Here's my take, I'm going to summarize as much as possible ;)

People with mental illnesses are usually born predisposed to the illness. The mother is usually in an abusive relationship and the stress and nervousness that she feels gets passed on to the unborn baby and that leaves the baby with frazzled nerves. If the child lives in a toxic and abusive environment, that child's chances and developing a mental illness skyrocket as the nervous system is constantly under attack with all the stressors of the toxic family life and sadly the child is doomed to develop a mental illness. After all the brain is connected to the nerves so constant stimulation of the nerves overworks them and causes chemical imbalance. In order to lessen the child's chances of developing a mental illness, the child must grow up in a loving, peaceful, protective, serene and nurturing environment. Mentally ill people are in need of love, protection and nurturing environments. Mentally ill people are usually treated with coldness and aggression due to their own destructive and abusive behavior. That doesn't help. It helps to treat them with firmness and kindness.

One CANNOT be a pushover in dealing with mentally ill people. One must be FIRM at all times and firmly say NO when they're misbehaving. If they don't want to listen, you have all the right to walk away. You have all the right to tell them that you'd rather deal with them when they're under control. One can always say "i love you but I cannot deal with you right now, it is IMPERATIVE you control this illness and it doesn't control you so PLEASE go see your psy doc and get your meds." "i'd rather deal with you when you're healthy so please get help now"

The father just giving in doesn't help, I know he does it to get some peace but he's making the situation worse. Mentally ill people like to exploit others and one must be extremely firm and say NO. One cannot cave or give in.

I pray for mentally ill people because it's a horrible thing to live with, not having the control of your mind and body. I also try to show compassion and kindness but I'm also firm 'cause I don't want to be taken advantage of or manipulated.

The longer a person goes untreated, the more their brain can get damaged. I really really HOPE she has a turn around and she decides to take control. The more people tell her to get well and under meds, the greater the chances of her "listening" and doing. She may need help remembering what she needs to do so a friendly reminder doesn't hurt. That poor soul needs intensive therapy for her emotional issues. Someone that truly cares and wants to see her well.
 

Vixy

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I dint think any of those behaviours are typically autistic. They are more in keeping with someone who has no feelings or no conscience; who is infact devoid of emotion.

Autistic people do feel. If anything they feel things very intensely. They just don’t always know how to process what they feel. Does that make sense?
I've been around autism my whole life so I know what theyre like and they can be utterly cruel with absolutely no empathy and she does have autistic traits thus says the wrong things and doesnt understand it hurts, thus the stalking aswell but I dont know, it COULD also be narcissism or all three considering shes completely out of control and when the police comes and gets her, she laughs about it later over the hpone like she thinks its funny, the havoc she causes. Like a child of three that doesnt understand consequences. I had a mentally challenged friend who also didnt understand consequences and he lit a garbage house on fire and got evicted from his flat afterwards. He still thinks its funny although he's been placed out in a small house far from people. He suffers from autism and a low intelligence. He's a sweet kid but you cant have him in a furnished room.
 

Vixy

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Also, just let me add. Sociopathic/psychopathic people are very intelligent and very manipulative. They know it is socially appropriate to offer you gloves or food etc. They don’t do it because they care. They do it because they want you to think they care.
Interesting!

She seems to have been intelligent at one point in her life but going all those years with untreated psychosis took its tole and she is now very unintelligent. She's at the point where she hardly manages in traffic thus had her license revoced but she also due to the psychosis I presume, have a way of thinking that is completely out of the box so she can solve the most tricky problems that I could never solve bc I think very commonly but she can't function to where she lives a normal life.
 

Vixy

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Not at all, dear, it didn't seem like you lowered her and you don't need to feel guilty about a situation that is definitely not your fault. Those kind of people are great manipulators and they will always make you feel like you are in the wrong and question/dismiss your feelings and have you remorseful.

Oh my, you can't imagine how I feel you, I would attract narcs all the time too. I totally get that she was being kind to you and all, and I had those exact thoughts about narcissistic people as well. But the truth is, if an emotionally abusive person treats you good some of the time and then they go back to treating you horribly and disrespecting you, have they stopped being emotionally abusive? Why not find people who treats you right in every circumstance instead. They are throwing "the crumbs" at your side (not the full dish) so you remain attached to them. It may sound like a given, but it took me years to fully realize that.

Ah yes, unfortunately, it is exactly how you describe it, I'm empath too but it feels like a burden to me and has caused me serious anxiety. :3 I like helping out people and being there for them, but most of them feel entitled to it and take it for granted. It wasn't until last year that I learned that I have to make a room for myself too and not live for others. I believe it would be also important for you to set some boundaries to yourself and others, what you can tolerate or not, which are your limits, and stick to it, be firm and decisive, if you respect your limits and have them always in mind when engaging with people, then others will respect them too.

For me, I think that the worst part was that they lied to her internet friends (she didn't have friends IRL) that I stole them the money. How can a person that considers you a friend, blatantly accuses you of such terrible things? They gave me the money back when I showed them the damages, agreed to it and then undermined me like that. I even lent her 700 euros when I was at high school (that I had just won at a school competition, it's not I have that much of money) to fix their luxurious car bc she was whining that her father would take it away if she didn't get it fixed, and took her years to give it back to me claiming she had no money, while she was buying the latest version of Playstation and other unimportant things. Looking back at it, I feel so stupid now, but I couldn't see it back then, bc she acted like she cared for me in most cases. She wasn't even in love with her bf but she didn't broke up with him because she confessed to me that he was paying her the bills, buying her gifts etc. Her mother also took advantage of him. Zero dignity.


Most people don't want to change for anyone and anything, they are too settled. If they decide to change, it is usually for selfish reasons, when they realize they have something to lose. Also, because they are old, doesn't mean they've become mature as being mature means they had previously worked on their selves while most of them do not. At least it's what I've been taught at my psychology classes.


Yes, I understand this is a difficult situation, I think it would be the best if you just pretended that she isn't there, she only insists because she thinks she can get you come around,show her that she can't, you are more powerful than you think, you have to remember it. Your mental health is the most important and she wants to drag you down into her misery, negative people are seriously dangerous because they channel their negativity into others and they can cause even physical problems, please be careful. <3 Wow, the fact that butterflies casually land on you is soo beautiful and magnificent, I don't follow any organized religion but I'm spiritual and I can assure you it is a great sign, I'm sure you will step out as a winner, you are already halfway there by acknowledging and wanting to face the problem. As you said, it's a spiritual journey and life never stops teaching us lessons throughout our lives, it's an never-ending journey actually.

A little off topic, but If I remember correctly you mentioned that you live in Sweden? How cool, I really love and admire your country, and I consider having my master there and maybe live permanently some day, may I ask how is life there? I am really sorry for the off topic, we just don't have any Swedes (not that I know of) in my country for me to ask and I'd really like to learn from a native, it's ok if you aren't in the mood to answer of course ~

Omg, sorry for the extremely long post!
Yeah I mean overall she's been sweet to me and never caused me any problems during these 7 years, I just feel we're on different planets and cant talk to her like a normal person. But she's been sweet to me like let me stay at her parents home during a trip to the capitol of Stockholm, they fed me for free and were nice to me, even offered giving me some money for the trip back home, lol! (I ofc declined) And she never said anything degrading or so to me, she seems to like me and turns to me for help when things have happened like when her "boyfriend" had thrown her out of the apartment so he could do drugs in peace since she flipped out bc of her illness and being so high. She came by in tears that time, knocking my door for help, to stay here for a bit but I was so full of anxiety myself I couldnt take her in. I did apologize about that tie though again and again and she said it was okay but I dont really think so.

You know I must thank you for feeling my situation bc its very rare to meet an empath today, most people seem to without any empathy for others. <3

I wish it was as easy as to just tell people some things arent okay to do but if that had worked I wouldnt have these problems with meeting this kind of people. They just override anything I say and do whatever they like so the best thing I think, is to cut them off, dont respond, dont open, just act dead. The fact that you lend her money when she even had a car and you were a student, would never happen for me. I'd walk right off, you have been WAY too kind, missy!

Oh dear, you're coming to Sweden? Uhm..I cant really recommend being here now. We have a low intensity war going on with our migrants shooting, stabbing, blowing things up, setting cars on fire, robbing, raping, you name it. The other day another explosion in the rich part of town, our police have gone out saying they're taking in the military now bc they cant handle it anymore. A girl like you, a sweetheart basically, they'd destroy you within half an hour gurl. :'( I've been living amongst them for 13 years now and theyre not human, it's demonic.

On top of that we have a housing shortage so finding somewhere to stay is basically impossible. I would NOT recommend anyone to come here, even our asian tourists have backed down due to the robberies they have endured so China is pissed at us.
 

Vixy

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Joined
Mar 16, 2017
Messages
3,907
Hi Vixy, I'm so so sorry you've been dealing with this poor, tortured soul that behaves like a destructive tornado.
Mental illness is SOOOOOO complicated that it leaves you feeling all kinds of things and it's hard to make sense of anything when dealing with it it. You don't even have the illness and yet it feels horrible seeing someone you know battling with it and dealing with the destructive behavior. Here's my take, I'm going to summarize as much as possible ;)

People with mental illnesses are usually born predisposed to the illness. The mother is usually in an abusive relationship and the stress and nervousness that she feels gets passed on to the unborn baby and that leaves the baby with frazzled nerves. If the child lives in a toxic and abusive environment, that child's chances and developing a mental illness skyrocket as the nervous system is constantly under attack with all the stressors of the toxic family life and sadly the child is doomed to develop a mental illness. After all the brain is connected to the nerves so constant stimulation of the nerves overworks them and causes chemical imbalance. In order to lessen the child's chances of developing a mental illness, the child must grow up in a loving, peaceful, protective, serene and nurturing environment. Mentally ill people are in need of love, protection and nurturing environments. Mentally ill people are usually treated with coldness and aggression due to their own destructive and abusive behavior. That doesn't help. It helps to treat them with firmness and kindness.

One CANNOT be a pushover in dealing with mentally ill people. One must be FIRM at all times and firmly say NO when they're misbehaving. If they don't want to listen, you have all the right to walk away. You have all the right to tell them that you'd rather deal with them when they're under control. One can always say "i love you but I cannot deal with you right now, it is IMPERATIVE you control this illness and it doesn't control you so PLEASE go see your psy doc and get your meds." "i'd rather deal with you when you're healthy so please get help now"

The father just giving in doesn't help, I know he does it to get some peace but he's making the situation worse. Mentally ill people like to exploit others and one must be extremely firm and say NO. One cannot cave or give in.

I pray for mentally ill people because it's a horrible thing to live with, not having the control of your mind and body. I also try to show compassion and kindness but I'm also firm 'cause I don't want to be taken advantage of or manipulated.

The longer a person goes untreated, the more their brain can get damaged. I really really HOPE she has a turn around and she decides to take control. The more people tell her to get well and under meds, the greater the chances of her "listening" and doing. She may need help remembering what she needs to do so a friendly reminder doesn't hurt. That poor soul needs intensive therapy for her emotional issues. Someone that truly cares and wants to see her well.
Yeah, I love her bc shes sweet to me and always have been but I cannot do this.. I was fed up at her at one point and SCREAMED all I could hysterically to leave me the hell alone!! But nah, she was back the week after, she did seem a bit shook up bc I dont lose my temper so that was a first and after that she did seem to have more respect but it doesnt matter what you tell her. You have to keep in mind shes been stabbed, had her nail ripped out, was stolen from, beaten, cheated on and STILL stalks her ex so she'll never back down from me. I've decided to stop saying Hi when out, ignore her no matter what she does and keep not opening or answering her calls. I expect her to keep going for the rest of my life though. Any way of actually getting rid of her would be to move and her not being smart enough to find out where I went, that could save me but other than that its a no goer, I cant win this one. Whatever she has in her, its too strong for even a desperate junkie to survive (meaning her ex) So a sickling like me have no chance here.

There was absolutely no toxicity between the parents, her father is a complete pushover and her mothers sweet but firm. Or tries to be but gets yelled out by my friend. So basically theyre very sweet people who had two other fully functioning children. Their relationship is stable, theyve been married for many years and never do they argue or have any marrital problems that I ever heard of or could imagine.
 
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Hon33

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Well you did go without saying it but made sure you talked about abusing animal’s instead.
Yes, because I was talking about the specific link between the abuse of animals and sociopathic/psychopathic personalities? There is a well established link and I thought it was interesting to note that she displayed these characteristics?
You really are going out of your way to make a point out of something that you’ve clearly misinterpreted.
 

Hon33

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I've been around autism my whole life so I know what theyre like and they can be utterly cruel with absolutely no empathy and she does have autistic traits thus says the wrong things and doesnt understand it hurts, thus the stalking aswell but I dont know, it COULD also be narcissism or all three considering shes completely out of control and when the police comes and gets her, she laughs about it later over the hpone like she thinks its funny, the havoc she causes. Like a child of three that doesnt understand consequences. I had a mentally challenged friend who also didnt understand consequences and he lit a garbage house on fire and got evicted from his flat afterwards. He still thinks its funny although he's been placed out in a small house far from people. He suffers from autism and a low intelligence. He's a sweet kid but you cant have him in a furnished room.
I have been around autism my whole life, also. I have two children on the autistic spectrum and I am also in the autistic spectrum myself.
I have done so much research on the condition and it is very misunderstood.
Yes, sometimes people on the autistic spectrum say things which are hurtful. It’s not so much a lack of empathy but the fact they are very honest. People on the higher end of the spectrum ie., who are high functioning tend to be very good at developing skills to deal with this kind of thing - especially females.
Individuals with autism are often very loving, very honest, very loyal, very reliable and very trustworthy. They are not manipulative.
Individuals at the lower end of the spectrum can have associated learning difficulties, which makes their behaviour more difficult to manage.
It becomes very difficult when a person with autism has learning delays and possibly a mental health condition too.
I honestly believe that nothing you have described about this girl’s behaviour says autism to me. Serious mental health issues but not autism.
 

Lisa

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Yes, because I was talking about the specific link between the abuse of animals and sociopathic/psychopathic personalities? There is a well established link and I thought it was interesting to note that she displayed these characteristics?
You really are going out of your way to make a point out of something that you’ve clearly misinterpreted.
I think it’s sad that we can connect harming animals to abusive personalities but we overlook the abuse to humans in the same way is all.
 

Hon33

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I think it’s sad that we can connect harming animals to abusive personalities but we overlook the abuse to humans in the same way is all.
Well it would be if that was what I had done. However, it wasn’t. That’s the way you chose to interpret it and I have no control over that.
I simply pointed out the known link between the abuse of animals and people who then go on to be identified as sociopaths/psychopaths.
I mean, there must be some significance to it or it wouldn’t be something that is characterised in the profile of a psychopath/sociopath.
The whole thread is about how she is abusing her friendship, so no one is ignoring how she is abusive to humans. She has had her children removed from her care so it goes without saying she has been abusive to them.
 

Bubble_tea

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Yeah I mean overall she's been sweet to me and never caused me any problems during these 7 years, I just feel we're on different planets and cant talk to her like a normal person. But she's been sweet to me like let me stay at her parents home during a trip to the capitol of Stockholm, they fed me for free and were nice to me, even offered giving me some money for the trip back home, lol! (I ofc declined) And she never said anything degrading or so to me, she seems to like me and turns to me for help when things have happened like when her "boyfriend" had thrown her out of the apartment so he could do drugs in peace since she flipped out bc of her illness and being so high. She came by in tears that time, knocking my door for help, to stay here for a bit but I was so full of anxiety myself I couldnt take her in. I did apologize about that tie though again and again and she said it was okay but I dont really think so.

You know I must thank you for feeling my situation bc its very rare to meet an empath today, most people seem to without any empathy for others. <3

I wish it was as easy as to just tell people some things arent okay to do but if that had worked I wouldnt have these problems with meeting this kind of people. They just override anything I say and do whatever they like so the best thing I think, is to cut them off, dont respond, dont open, just act dead. The fact that you lend her money when she even had a car and you were a student, would never happen for me. I'd walk right off, you have been WAY too kind, missy!

Oh dear, you're coming to Sweden? Uhm..I cant really recommend being here now. We have a low intensity war going on with our migrants shooting, stabbing, blowing things up, setting cars on fire, robbing, raping, you name it. The other day another explosion in the rich part of town, our police have gone out saying they're taking in the military now bc they cant handle it anymore. A girl like you, a sweetheart basically, they'd destroy you within half an hour gurl. :'( I've been living amongst them for 13 years now and theyre not human, it's demonic.

On top of that we have a housing shortage so finding somewhere to stay is basically impossible. I would NOT recommend anyone to come here, even our asian tourists have backed down due to the robberies they have endured so China is pissed at us.
Ahh yes, I 100% get you, because my ex bff would come across as a very caring person as well. There were only individual cases where she flipped around 90 degrees, and that's thhe reason that, to this day, I can't really read her personality. But I believe that a true friend should never give you anxiety in any case. My current bff is kinda "neurotic" and would lash out on me and blamed me for her mistakes. I finally managed to have a talk with her and she is now trying to be more considerate of my feelings. But I love her and I know she's sincerely trying and that's what matters to me. You are always there for your friend and if she doesn't truly realize the reason why you didn't let her in in a single instance, then, she seems to be ungrateful for your friendship. Imo, you didn't have to say sorry in the first place, especially if it was her behavior that gave you anxiety, we are only humans and can't control our feelings. Our feelings are always valid.

Don't mention it dear, I should be the one thanking you because you make me feel less alone in this, and you give me hope that kind-hearted and pure people still exist in this world, you are really a bright person, please don't change for anyone, the world needs more of you <3

It is exactly how you described it, in fact you put it lightly haha, tbh I didn't feel kind, more like stupid :3 When the last incident took place, I tried to reach her and talk to her about it but never responded to my messages. She really thought that everyone must serve her so she believed that I had the "audacity" to ask for my money back for the damages (I barely scraped through those days) when I should not have. She even left my house in secrecy, without saying goodbye. So, till now, it feels like she was the one that had the last word and I'm in the wrong. But that taught me that I should never chase after people, especially if they are horrible persons.

Exactly,most of them don't want to listen to you, they just want to grab whatever they can from you, until one day you "wake up" and they realize they have to find another person to leech off emotionally. We just need to acquire a stronger defense mechanism and hold back even with our friends, because we never know anyone truly.

Ahh thank you so much for replying to me, dear! Omg, I've heard of the immigrants situation but I couldn't imagine it would be that bad :( I got really sad reading that part, I am so sorry for all of this, it sounds frightening, and no human being should ever experience this fear in their lives, I truly hope you are taking care of yourself <3 I live in Europe and we have huge immigration crisis here as well (immigrants have taken over our islands, Non-profit organizations have stolen natives' houses and have given them to immigrants and they also burn and steal whatever they can) but we seriously lack of infrastructures and funds to integrate them. I am sorry for being ignorant, but can't your country legally confine their arrival in some way? Omg, I'm truly sorry again, I always admired your country and how your social services operate and the fact that you are so open minded and progressive. Not to mention that most of you are famous for being kind and peaceful.

In my country, most people are full of negativity, they are extremely selfish/sexist/arrogant (you name it), they badmouth and criticize anyone, and are so rude to each other. We also have zero meritocracy thus, is basically impossible to find a job even if you fulfill the qualifications. You have to be a tough cookie to endure it. Of course not everyone is like that, but the majority is, sadly. The main reason that I wanted to move to your country, is how humane and compassionate you seem to be (from what I saw on the internet) and you are a prime example of it. I wish you get over this terrible situation soon love, and go out stronger. Sweden is a gorgeous and culturally enriched country and what's happening is a social and cultural disaster. Thank you so much for taking the time to answer and for your lovely words, it means so much to me and you really helped me more than you think of <3 My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you.
 
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Sorry for you and your friend. Simple answer is she’s schizophrenic. Seems to meet all clinical markers. Unfortunately drugs for schizophrenia often have unpleasant side effects and people often drop them. It’s a difficult disease to treat and someone who’s abusing street drugs with this disorder are trying to self-medicate but I’m sure it’s exacerbating her problem. Not too much you can do - just encourage her to take her meds and trust they’ll help somewhat. Encourage her to get ongoing help from her psychiatrist or psychologist.
 
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