UnderAlienControl
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- Mar 27, 2017
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That’s not what I said. What I was referring to is the fact that research has shown there is a definite link between those who have certain personality types such as psychopathic or sociopathic personality disorders and those who act cruelly towards animals. It a well-known red flag.She’s not good to her children but what you find worrying is she treats animals badly?
I dint think any of those behaviours are typically autistic. They are more in keeping with someone who has no feelings or no conscience; who is infact devoid of emotion.Unfortunally you're right, both her mother and I suspect she is autistic aswell as the diagnosis of schizoaffectice disorder she has gotten. She was training the cat to go to the bathroom on one of those litter qwitter things but she went in super speed and I told her several times it takes weeks on just one stage but she acted like the cat should have learned yesterday when also in a completely new environment and with a new person.
Her mother suspected something was off I think with the cat scenario because she called the seller and told her she was mentally ill and couldn't care for a cat. I don't know how it went except she said she sold it so I hope it ended up in a better place, it was one of those naked cats that looked like a big rat, lol! Horrible! I prefer them hairy with big butts myself. I think she got it bc I have a cat and its my best friend and I always talk about it and tell about how I love it so she must have thought her life would be better if she just got a cat aswell, she is super easily affectable. Even her belief gets crushed if she's around nonbelievers, she says.
One thing bothers me through all the years.. I visited her in the psych ward once and we passed this goodlooking guy in the hallway, I told her he was hot and as we passed she asked him about the scar in his face. He squirmed and I could tell he was really hurt about it bc he was already in such a vulnerable position to be in the psych ward and to have shoved in his face he had a scar aswell was it for him, he didnt wanna be there and she just chuckled and didn't understand she had done wrong at all. My heart died alittle for him bc he did NOT need that too. I think then and there I cut the friendship off with her in my heart. That was just cruel. And she friggin CHUCKLED. So yeah, autistic I think bc she can do things like making enemies with her neighbour only to call him the next day asking him to pay for her lawyer to get her children back. I've talked to him on several occations (very pleasant guy) and he said "Look, I understood pretty quickly she was mentally ill" and then he told me she had called and asked that about the money like it was the most obvious thing in the world he would pay.
Completely surreal!
I've been so close over the years soo many times to telling her I really do think she is mentally ill, bc she has NO insight whatsoever. But she gets really angry when anyone even hints she might be so I backed down.
And the surreal behaviour.. My god. She told me once she had had an itch under her lip and as she bend up her lip to check, a chrysalis had popped out. Another time she came and said she had chrysalis in her blood.
Also, just let me add. Sociopathic/psychopathic people are very intelligent and very manipulative. They know it is socially appropriate to offer you gloves or food etc. They don’t do it because they care. They do it because they want you to think they care.Thank you So much! <3 I was a bit scared I'd seem like I raised myself and lowered her but I am by no means perfect, haha! By faaar actually but I do try. She is another story though, I've met many crazies in my life but not to this extent. Noone has ever climbed on their roof and screamed, you know? How did she even dare? Its HIGH up. Like she thinks she's invincible.
The narc thing is interesting since I just weeks ago realised that's what I attract so if she is one, it fits perfectly. But she has empathy with me, she'll ask if I want gloves when its cold out and offer me food bc she knows my fridge used to be pretty empty.
Whoa..! How can a student pay other peoples bills? In Sweden you have like $700 for rent and everything, you hardly survive! And BOTH of them being paranoid? Oh man.. This one is paranoid aswell, she always seem to suspect somethings wrong when you offer her anything which I found very burdening. You couldnt do a thing without getting a look of "And why would you offer this?" I always felt like a suspect. Think thats typical for schizophrenia though since another friend with it was the same way.
God damn, if you helped them despite you being on the starving limit yourself, it means you're probably a super empath like me and we're the kind narcs take advantage of. Theyre entitled, we're inferiour so its a perfect match.
Wait what?! You not only paied their bills but they caused YOU damages and had the nerve to not pay?? Oh man, I'd never talk to them again. Sure if it was an accident and they showed remorse but they sound like horrible people!
Yeapp, youre absolutely right here "She behaves this way, because, unfortunately, she can, she has never heard "no" for an answer. Her parents cater to her every whim and they are the ones responsible here.
Because they're old now, her mom's 66 and her dads in his 70's and they're eventually gonna crash and fall and can't be there anymore and then she'll have herself and noone else since her siblings seem to not want to really engage with her, they seem more normal and know there's nothing to explore by trying to socialise with her. No connection. I always felt so alone when with her, like I was more alone than actually being just alone. It's because we are worlds apart, straight opposites.
Ooh girl, "Life has taught me that people don't change unless they sincerely want to and it's not your job to help them" I'm learning this right now! Its been a though lesson bc I really wanted to help but no, they have to learn it themselves just like you say. I know people who are in their 60's who just ended up alone and they're learning now.. In their 60's..I learned as an infant you're on your own, geez. But then again Ive never been spoiled. Not the way she is, I had a few things sure but her case is extreme. If she had saved up all that money she gt for lawyers, rent and buying crap with, she'd have the downpayment for a condo or house!
You have to let her go and take care of yourself first, it's not egocentric, it's survival, and she clearly doesn't deserve you. Try not to answer her calls and deny her visits, it will be hard for you at the beginning because she will insist on interacting with you persistently, but don't give in.
Youre so damn right and I did this for 1,5 years but once she saw me outside, even biking, like on the bikeland going fast, she came and grabbed my arm like "Hello! I'm a queen, you don't avoid talking to me!" So there's no way of avoiding her except keep pretending she's air even when she grabbs, next time she'll have to get dragged after the bike then bc I wont get off. I really am starting to fukn HATE her, pardon my french. It's been 7 YEARS, I am overly kind. You know how this works and you understand my frustration aswell.. I'm just scared she'll come by and throw stones through my windows and trash the place..she's crazy enough to do it.
You know.. don't know if you believe in these things and I'm a christian myself so its no hocus pocus I hope but white butterflies usually land on me and stay for hours, just sitting on my pants or whatever and finally I looked up what it means and it stands for rebirth, transformation and maybe it means I'm learning this and learning how to cast these lifespark vampires off? Bc there really has been VERY many of them over the years. Throw one away and four more pops back in.
Yeah, I think this is a spiritual journey where I learn to get a teflon protection layer that will hinder them from sucking out my lifeforce bc DAMN they bleed you dry! When you cant get rid of a person at first its annoying, then you feel sad for them and finally you start hating them for not respecting your wish.
Its common they eat and eat? Because I have another friend with schizo and she does the same, she even ups and leaves after 20 minutes, leaves you sitting there bc shes going home to eat. So you cant really go anywhere with her. I told her to eat out or bring food then but nah, gotta go home. Kinda restricts your life.
I started digging in that and found their blood sugar must be off and they try regulating it with food bc they dont eat huge amounts just small but super often.
Sure...but I think the red flag would also be she didn’t treat her kids good either is all I’m saying.That’s not what I said. What I was referring to is the fact that research has shown there is a definite link between those who have certain personality types such as psychopathic or sociopathic personality disorders and those who act cruelly towards animals. It a well-known red flag.
Not at all, dear, it didn't seem like you lowered her and you don't need to feel guilty about a situation that is definitely not your fault. Those kind of people are great manipulators and they will always make you feel like you are in the wrong and question/dismiss your feelings and have you remorseful.Thank you So much! <3 I was a bit scared I'd seem like I raised myself and lowered her but I am by no means perfect, haha! By faaar actually but I do try. She is another story though, I've met many crazies in my life but not to this extent. Noone has ever climbed on their roof and screamed, you know? How did she even dare? Its HIGH up. Like she thinks she's invincible.
The narc thing is interesting since I just weeks ago realised that's what I attract so if she is one, it fits perfectly. But she has empathy with me, she'll ask if I want gloves when its cold out and offer me food bc she knows my fridge used to be pretty empty.
Whoa..! How can a student pay other peoples bills? In Sweden you have like $700 for rent and everything, you hardly survive! And BOTH of them being paranoid? Oh man.. This one is paranoid aswell, she always seem to suspect somethings wrong when you offer her anything which I found very burdening. You couldnt do a thing without getting a look of "And why would you offer this?" I always felt like a suspect. Think thats typical for schizophrenia though since another friend with it was the same way.
God damn, if you helped them despite you being on the starving limit yourself, it means you're probably a super empath like me and we're the kind narcs take advantage of. Theyre entitled, we're inferiour so its a perfect match.
Wait what?! You not only paied their bills but they caused YOU damages and had the nerve to not pay?? Oh man, I'd never talk to them again. Sure if it was an accident and they showed remorse but they sound like horrible people!
Yeapp, youre absolutely right here "She behaves this way, because, unfortunately, she can, she has never heard "no" for an answer. Her parents cater to her every whim and they are the ones responsible here.
Because they're old now, her mom's 66 and her dads in his 70's and they're eventually gonna crash and fall and can't be there anymore and then she'll have herself and noone else since her siblings seem to not want to really engage with her, they seem more normal and know there's nothing to explore by trying to socialise with her. No connection. I always felt so alone when with her, like I was more alone than actually being just alone. It's because we are worlds apart, straight opposites.
Ooh girl, "Life has taught me that people don't change unless they sincerely want to and it's not your job to help them" I'm learning this right now! Its been a though lesson bc I really wanted to help but no, they have to learn it themselves just like you say. I know people who are in their 60's who just ended up alone and they're learning now.. In their 60's..I learned as an infant you're on your own, geez. But then again Ive never been spoiled. Not the way she is, I had a few things sure but her case is extreme. If she had saved up all that money she gt for lawyers, rent and buying crap with, she'd have the downpayment for a condo or house!
You have to let her go and take care of yourself first, it's not egocentric, it's survival, and she clearly doesn't deserve you. Try not to answer her calls and deny her visits, it will be hard for you at the beginning because she will insist on interacting with you persistently, but don't give in.
Youre so damn right and I did this for 1,5 years but once she saw me outside, even biking, like on the bikeland going fast, she came and grabbed my arm like "Hello! I'm a queen, you don't avoid talking to me!" So there's no way of avoiding her except keep pretending she's air even when she grabbs, next time she'll have to get dragged after the bike then bc I wont get off. I really am starting to fukn HATE her, pardon my french. It's been 7 YEARS, I am overly kind. You know how this works and you understand my frustration aswell.. I'm just scared she'll come by and throw stones through my windows and trash the place..she's crazy enough to do it.
You know.. don't know if you believe in these things and I'm a christian myself so its no hocus pocus I hope but white butterflies usually land on me and stay for hours, just sitting on my pants or whatever and finally I looked up what it means and it stands for rebirth, transformation and maybe it means I'm learning this and learning how to cast these lifespark vampires off? Bc there really has been VERY many of them over the years. Throw one away and four more pops back in.
Yeah, I think this is a spiritual journey where I learn to get a teflon protection layer that will hinder them from sucking out my lifeforce bc DAMN they bleed you dry! When you cant get rid of a person at first its annoying, then you feel sad for them and finally you start hating them for not respecting your wish.
Its common they eat and eat? Because I have another friend with schizo and she does the same, she even ups and leaves after 20 minutes, leaves you sitting there bc shes going home to eat. So you cant really go anywhere with her. I told her to eat out or bring food then but nah, gotta go home. Kinda restricts your life.
I started digging in that and found their blood sugar must be off and they try regulating it with food bc they dont eat huge amounts just small but super often.
Well, I think that goes without saying really, doesn’t it?Sure...but I think the red flag would also be she didn’t treat her kids good either is all I’m saying.
Well you did go without saying it but made sure you talked about abusing animal’s instead.Well, I think that goes without saying really, doesn’t it?
LMAO!
I've been around autism my whole life so I know what theyre like and they can be utterly cruel with absolutely no empathy and she does have autistic traits thus says the wrong things and doesnt understand it hurts, thus the stalking aswell but I dont know, it COULD also be narcissism or all three considering shes completely out of control and when the police comes and gets her, she laughs about it later over the hpone like she thinks its funny, the havoc she causes. Like a child of three that doesnt understand consequences. I had a mentally challenged friend who also didnt understand consequences and he lit a garbage house on fire and got evicted from his flat afterwards. He still thinks its funny although he's been placed out in a small house far from people. He suffers from autism and a low intelligence. He's a sweet kid but you cant have him in a furnished room.I dint think any of those behaviours are typically autistic. They are more in keeping with someone who has no feelings or no conscience; who is infact devoid of emotion.
Autistic people do feel. If anything they feel things very intensely. They just don’t always know how to process what they feel. Does that make sense?
Interesting!Also, just let me add. Sociopathic/psychopathic people are very intelligent and very manipulative. They know it is socially appropriate to offer you gloves or food etc. They don’t do it because they care. They do it because they want you to think they care.
Yeah I mean overall she's been sweet to me and never caused me any problems during these 7 years, I just feel we're on different planets and cant talk to her like a normal person. But she's been sweet to me like let me stay at her parents home during a trip to the capitol of Stockholm, they fed me for free and were nice to me, even offered giving me some money for the trip back home, lol! (I ofc declined) And she never said anything degrading or so to me, she seems to like me and turns to me for help when things have happened like when her "boyfriend" had thrown her out of the apartment so he could do drugs in peace since she flipped out bc of her illness and being so high. She came by in tears that time, knocking my door for help, to stay here for a bit but I was so full of anxiety myself I couldnt take her in. I did apologize about that tie though again and again and she said it was okay but I dont really think so.Not at all, dear, it didn't seem like you lowered her and you don't need to feel guilty about a situation that is definitely not your fault. Those kind of people are great manipulators and they will always make you feel like you are in the wrong and question/dismiss your feelings and have you remorseful.
Oh my, you can't imagine how I feel you, I would attract narcs all the time too. I totally get that she was being kind to you and all, and I had those exact thoughts about narcissistic people as well. But the truth is, if an emotionally abusive person treats you good some of the time and then they go back to treating you horribly and disrespecting you, have they stopped being emotionally abusive? Why not find people who treats you right in every circumstance instead. They are throwing "the crumbs" at your side (not the full dish) so you remain attached to them. It may sound like a given, but it took me years to fully realize that.
Ah yes, unfortunately, it is exactly how you describe it, I'm empath too but it feels like a burden to me and has caused me serious anxiety. :3 I like helping out people and being there for them, but most of them feel entitled to it and take it for granted. It wasn't until last year that I learned that I have to make a room for myself too and not live for others. I believe it would be also important for you to set some boundaries to yourself and others, what you can tolerate or not, which are your limits, and stick to it, be firm and decisive, if you respect your limits and have them always in mind when engaging with people, then others will respect them too.
For me, I think that the worst part was that they lied to her internet friends (she didn't have friends IRL) that I stole them the money. How can a person that considers you a friend, blatantly accuses you of such terrible things? They gave me the money back when I showed them the damages, agreed to it and then undermined me like that. I even lent her 700 euros when I was at high school (that I had just won at a school competition, it's not I have that much of money) to fix their luxurious car bc she was whining that her father would take it away if she didn't get it fixed, and took her years to give it back to me claiming she had no money, while she was buying the latest version of Playstation and other unimportant things. Looking back at it, I feel so stupid now, but I couldn't see it back then, bc she acted like she cared for me in most cases. She wasn't even in love with her bf but she didn't broke up with him because she confessed to me that he was paying her the bills, buying her gifts etc. Her mother also took advantage of him. Zero dignity.
Most people don't want to change for anyone and anything, they are too settled. If they decide to change, it is usually for selfish reasons, when they realize they have something to lose. Also, because they are old, doesn't mean they've become mature as being mature means they had previously worked on their selves while most of them do not. At least it's what I've been taught at my psychology classes.
Yes, I understand this is a difficult situation, I think it would be the best if you just pretended that she isn't there, she only insists because she thinks she can get you come around,show her that she can't, you are more powerful than you think, you have to remember it. Your mental health is the most important and she wants to drag you down into her misery, negative people are seriously dangerous because they channel their negativity into others and they can cause even physical problems, please be careful. <3 Wow, the fact that butterflies casually land on you is soo beautiful and magnificent, I don't follow any organized religion but I'm spiritual and I can assure you it is a great sign, I'm sure you will step out as a winner, you are already halfway there by acknowledging and wanting to face the problem. As you said, it's a spiritual journey and life never stops teaching us lessons throughout our lives, it's an never-ending journey actually.
A little off topic, but If I remember correctly you mentioned that you live in Sweden? How cool, I really love and admire your country, and I consider having my master there and maybe live permanently some day, may I ask how is life there? I am really sorry for the off topic, we just don't have any Swedes (not that I know of) in my country for me to ask and I'd really like to learn from a native, it's ok if you aren't in the mood to answer of course ~
Omg, sorry for the extremely long post!
Yeah, I love her bc shes sweet to me and always have been but I cannot do this.. I was fed up at her at one point and SCREAMED all I could hysterically to leave me the hell alone!! But nah, she was back the week after, she did seem a bit shook up bc I dont lose my temper so that was a first and after that she did seem to have more respect but it doesnt matter what you tell her. You have to keep in mind shes been stabbed, had her nail ripped out, was stolen from, beaten, cheated on and STILL stalks her ex so she'll never back down from me. I've decided to stop saying Hi when out, ignore her no matter what she does and keep not opening or answering her calls. I expect her to keep going for the rest of my life though. Any way of actually getting rid of her would be to move and her not being smart enough to find out where I went, that could save me but other than that its a no goer, I cant win this one. Whatever she has in her, its too strong for even a desperate junkie to survive (meaning her ex) So a sickling like me have no chance here.Hi Vixy, I'm so so sorry you've been dealing with this poor, tortured soul that behaves like a destructive tornado.
Mental illness is SOOOOOO complicated that it leaves you feeling all kinds of things and it's hard to make sense of anything when dealing with it it. You don't even have the illness and yet it feels horrible seeing someone you know battling with it and dealing with the destructive behavior. Here's my take, I'm going to summarize as much as possible
People with mental illnesses are usually born predisposed to the illness. The mother is usually in an abusive relationship and the stress and nervousness that she feels gets passed on to the unborn baby and that leaves the baby with frazzled nerves. If the child lives in a toxic and abusive environment, that child's chances and developing a mental illness skyrocket as the nervous system is constantly under attack with all the stressors of the toxic family life and sadly the child is doomed to develop a mental illness. After all the brain is connected to the nerves so constant stimulation of the nerves overworks them and causes chemical imbalance. In order to lessen the child's chances of developing a mental illness, the child must grow up in a loving, peaceful, protective, serene and nurturing environment. Mentally ill people are in need of love, protection and nurturing environments. Mentally ill people are usually treated with coldness and aggression due to their own destructive and abusive behavior. That doesn't help. It helps to treat them with firmness and kindness.
One CANNOT be a pushover in dealing with mentally ill people. One must be FIRM at all times and firmly say NO when they're misbehaving. If they don't want to listen, you have all the right to walk away. You have all the right to tell them that you'd rather deal with them when they're under control. One can always say "i love you but I cannot deal with you right now, it is IMPERATIVE you control this illness and it doesn't control you so PLEASE go see your psy doc and get your meds." "i'd rather deal with you when you're healthy so please get help now"
The father just giving in doesn't help, I know he does it to get some peace but he's making the situation worse. Mentally ill people like to exploit others and one must be extremely firm and say NO. One cannot cave or give in.
I pray for mentally ill people because it's a horrible thing to live with, not having the control of your mind and body. I also try to show compassion and kindness but I'm also firm 'cause I don't want to be taken advantage of or manipulated.
The longer a person goes untreated, the more their brain can get damaged. I really really HOPE she has a turn around and she decides to take control. The more people tell her to get well and under meds, the greater the chances of her "listening" and doing. She may need help remembering what she needs to do so a friendly reminder doesn't hurt. That poor soul needs intensive therapy for her emotional issues. Someone that truly cares and wants to see her well.
Yes, because I was talking about the specific link between the abuse of animals and sociopathic/psychopathic personalities? There is a well established link and I thought it was interesting to note that she displayed these characteristics?Well you did go without saying it but made sure you talked about abusing animal’s instead.
I have been around autism my whole life, also. I have two children on the autistic spectrum and I am also in the autistic spectrum myself.I've been around autism my whole life so I know what theyre like and they can be utterly cruel with absolutely no empathy and she does have autistic traits thus says the wrong things and doesnt understand it hurts, thus the stalking aswell but I dont know, it COULD also be narcissism or all three considering shes completely out of control and when the police comes and gets her, she laughs about it later over the hpone like she thinks its funny, the havoc she causes. Like a child of three that doesnt understand consequences. I had a mentally challenged friend who also didnt understand consequences and he lit a garbage house on fire and got evicted from his flat afterwards. He still thinks its funny although he's been placed out in a small house far from people. He suffers from autism and a low intelligence. He's a sweet kid but you cant have him in a furnished room.
I think it’s sad that we can connect harming animals to abusive personalities but we overlook the abuse to humans in the same way is all.Yes, because I was talking about the specific link between the abuse of animals and sociopathic/psychopathic personalities? There is a well established link and I thought it was interesting to note that she displayed these characteristics?
You really are going out of your way to make a point out of something that you’ve clearly misinterpreted.
Well it would be if that was what I had done. However, it wasn’t. That’s the way you chose to interpret it and I have no control over that.I think it’s sad that we can connect harming animals to abusive personalities but we overlook the abuse to humans in the same way is all.
Ahh yes, I 100% get you, because my ex bff would come across as a very caring person as well. There were only individual cases where she flipped around 90 degrees, and that's thhe reason that, to this day, I can't really read her personality. But I believe that a true friend should never give you anxiety in any case. My current bff is kinda "neurotic" and would lash out on me and blamed me for her mistakes. I finally managed to have a talk with her and she is now trying to be more considerate of my feelings. But I love her and I know she's sincerely trying and that's what matters to me. You are always there for your friend and if she doesn't truly realize the reason why you didn't let her in in a single instance, then, she seems to be ungrateful for your friendship. Imo, you didn't have to say sorry in the first place, especially if it was her behavior that gave you anxiety, we are only humans and can't control our feelings. Our feelings are always valid.Yeah I mean overall she's been sweet to me and never caused me any problems during these 7 years, I just feel we're on different planets and cant talk to her like a normal person. But she's been sweet to me like let me stay at her parents home during a trip to the capitol of Stockholm, they fed me for free and were nice to me, even offered giving me some money for the trip back home, lol! (I ofc declined) And she never said anything degrading or so to me, she seems to like me and turns to me for help when things have happened like when her "boyfriend" had thrown her out of the apartment so he could do drugs in peace since she flipped out bc of her illness and being so high. She came by in tears that time, knocking my door for help, to stay here for a bit but I was so full of anxiety myself I couldnt take her in. I did apologize about that tie though again and again and she said it was okay but I dont really think so.
You know I must thank you for feeling my situation bc its very rare to meet an empath today, most people seem to without any empathy for others. <3
I wish it was as easy as to just tell people some things arent okay to do but if that had worked I wouldnt have these problems with meeting this kind of people. They just override anything I say and do whatever they like so the best thing I think, is to cut them off, dont respond, dont open, just act dead. The fact that you lend her money when she even had a car and you were a student, would never happen for me. I'd walk right off, you have been WAY too kind, missy!
Oh dear, you're coming to Sweden? Uhm..I cant really recommend being here now. We have a low intensity war going on with our migrants shooting, stabbing, blowing things up, setting cars on fire, robbing, raping, you name it. The other day another explosion in the rich part of town, our police have gone out saying they're taking in the military now bc they cant handle it anymore. A girl like you, a sweetheart basically, they'd destroy you within half an hour gurl. :'( I've been living amongst them for 13 years now and theyre not human, it's demonic.
On top of that we have a housing shortage so finding somewhere to stay is basically impossible. I would NOT recommend anyone to come here, even our asian tourists have backed down due to the robberies they have endured so China is pissed at us.