How to deal with a predator in your family

Joined
May 15, 2019
Messages
46
Likes
70
#1
It's not close family, they're uncles that don't live in the same city as I do.
I want tot know if any of yall has been in the same situation and if so, how did you handle it? Did you tell the whole family at the risk of ripping the family apart or did yall keep to yourself. We're talking about a dude that's preying on young girls. He's a typical white male colonialist pervert. The type who goes overseas to prey on young "exotic" girls.
I know we know men are creeps but that's another level.
 





DevaWolf

Established
Joined
Apr 13, 2019
Messages
260
Likes
434
#3
Report them to the authoroties if you are sure, this kind of stuff is already very much out of hand if it is done this openly.
 





Joined
Oct 23, 2018
Messages
1,062
Likes
1,742
#4
I didn't know about it until a certain age, but my grandfather was a predator and a womanizer. Think the womanizing came first, but then it went toward teenage girls and even his own daughters. My parents kept me the hell away from him and I stayed the hell away from him. At his funeral, he was treated like some kind of hero, but my folks and I knew it was all lies. He was buried with Chapstick in his hand.

Report it if possible, if there's proof.
 





Joined
Dec 21, 2018
Messages
269
Likes
400
#6
It's not close family, they're uncles that don't live in the same city as I do.
I want tot know if any of yall has been in the same situation and if so, how did you handle it? Did you tell the whole family at the risk of ripping the family apart or did yall keep to yourself. We're talking about a dude that's preying on young girls. He's a typical white male colonialist pervert. The type who goes overseas to prey on young "exotic" girls.
I know we know men are creeps but that's another level.
Welcome to our forums!

I'd like to share with you something that happened to my Family, not long ago:

My aunt has two daughters, Leah and Layla, she has two granddaughters, Lyandra (daughter of layla) and Claire (daughter of Leah).
My aunt also has a son, Lalyng (It's a weird name, we know and I've probably wrote it wrong, but nevermind).

Both Lyandra and Claire were the same age, and have grown up togheter, they are about 15 or 16 now, and they were raised almost as sisters in two houses neighboor to eachother.

Lyandra has some kind of syndrome/cognitive déficit, we don't know for sure. Leah, her aunt, has cerebral palsy, she can move around with some difficulty

Leah is a single mother, Layla is married. Lalyng is married and has two sons, Arthur who is about the same age as the girls and another kid whose name I don't know but thank God they don't come into this story.

The thing is, Layla's husband has been raping Claire since she was 10. He's na all round terrible person. He rapes her, he threatened to kill her if she told anyone, threatened to kill her mother, threatened to kill his own daughter (since they were like sisters this would affect her) and he raped her while the other girl was in the same room using the cell phone, her cognitive déficit impeding her to really understand or talk about what happened. He would also beat Claire a lot, and he would take her away "to teach her how to ride a motorcycle" when actually you know, he was going to r*pe her. My mother and my maternal grandmother (this happened in my father's side of the Family) were suspicious that something was happening because of her behavior, they even asked my other aunt to do something but she didn't do anything at all.

Like a month ago Clare got so fed up of everything that finally told her uncle Lalyng what was happening.

Nothing really happened to the rapist. Since he wasn't caught in the act the police couldn't do anything and the criminal process is going really slow, the rapist is still free and living at home as i write this, my cousin had to move to another home.

Layla actually sided with her husband. She said "it was her fault! why was she walking around here seducting my husband?" and said she would kill herself if my other relatives didn't take down the criminal order.

And Clare apparentely turned into lesbian because she hates men now, plus we can't really be sure the degree of trauma she has.

the guy is still around but at least the girl is safe (for now, he was later caught stalking her at school the other day)

My advice? Garther some trustworthy Family members and talk about this, see what you guys can do. Who knows what he did and what kind of damage he has done to others. It's a hard thing to everyone involved but it is ultimately a necessary measure.
 





Joined
Oct 23, 2018
Messages
1,062
Likes
1,742
#8
Welcome to our forums!

I'd like to share with you something that happened to my Family, not long ago:

My aunt has two daughters, Leah and Layla, she has two granddaughters, Lyandra (daughter of layla) and Claire (daughter of Leah).
My aunt also has a son, Lalyng (It's a weird name, we know and I've probably wrote it wrong, but nevermind).

Both Lyandra and Claire were the same age, and have grown up togheter, they are about 15 or 16 now, and they were raised almost as sisters in two houses neighboor to eachother.

Lyandra has some kind of syndrome/cognitive déficit, we don't know for sure. Leah, her aunt, has cerebral palsy, she can move around with some difficulty

Leah is a single mother, Layla is married. Lalyng is married and has two sons, Arthur who is about the same age as the girls and another kid whose name I don't know but thank God they don't come into this story.

The thing is, Layla's husband has been raping Claire since she was 10. He's na all round terrible person. He rapes her, he threatened to kill her if she told anyone, threatened to kill her mother, threatened to kill his own daughter (since they were like sisters this would affect her) and he raped her while the other girl was in the same room using the cell phone, her cognitive déficit impeding her to really understand or talk about what happened. He would also beat Claire a lot, and he would take her away "to teach her how to ride a motorcycle" when actually you know, he was going to r*pe her. My mother and my maternal grandmother (this happened in my father's side of the Family) were suspicious that something was happening because of her behavior, they even asked my other aunt to do something but she didn't do anything at all.

Like a month ago Clare got so fed up of everything that finally told her uncle Lalyng what was happening.

Nothing really happened to the rapist. Since he wasn't caught in the act the police couldn't do anything and the criminal process is going really slow, the rapist is still free and living at home as i write this, my cousin had to move to another home.

Layla actually sided with her husband. She said "it was her fault! why was she walking around here seducting my husband?" and said she would kill herself if my other relatives didn't take down the criminal order.

And Clare apparentely turned into lesbian because she hates men now, plus we can't really be sure the degree of trauma she has.

the guy is still around but at least the girl is safe (for now, he was later caught stalking her at school the other day)

My advice? Garther some trustworthy Family members and talk about this, see what you guys can do. Who knows what he did and what kind of damage he has done to others. It's a hard thing to everyone involved but it is ultimately a necessary measure.
That's terrible! And I'm so sick of hearing about women siding with their perverted husbands. More women need to grab their children and get the hell out of there. Seriously, not only is the girl traumatized but now she has lost all trust in her mom probably, as well she should.
 





Joined
Dec 21, 2018
Messages
269
Likes
400
#9
That's terrible! And I'm so sick of hearing about women siding with their perverted husbands. More women need to grab their children and get the hell out of there. Seriously, not only is the girl traumatized but now she has lost all trust in her mom probably, as well she should.
Clare's mom sided with her, Lyandra is the daughter of the woman that sided with the rapist.

Sadly she has some kind of cognitive deficit... we don't really know what goes trough her mind
 





Joined
Mar 16, 2017
Messages
3,655
Likes
7,057
#11
The child who was abused is the niece of the abuser... her aunt, in this case, has not left him from what I understand
 





Joined
Sep 5, 2018
Messages
3,036
Likes
3,977
#12
If he is only going overseas to prey on girls then there is unfortunately nothing to report.
AFAIK there have been successful prosecutions for men who travel overseas with the explicit purchase of raping children.

My grandfather molested my mother but he died in prison 10 years before I was born for killing some guy. IDK she never dealt with it really so I’m sorry I don’t know what to say OP or @Mr.Anderson
 





Joined
Mar 16, 2017
Messages
3,655
Likes
7,057
#13
AFAIK there have been successful prosecutions for men who travel overseas with the explicit purchase of raping children.

My grandfather molested my mother but he died in prison 10 years before I was born for killing some guy. IDK she never dealt with it really so I’m sorry I don’t know what to say OP or @Mr.Anderson
Well that’s good news. Was unaware.
 





Joined
Jan 22, 2018
Messages
2,294
Likes
3,243
#15
It's not close family, they're uncles that don't live in the same city as I do.
I want tot know if any of yall has been in the same situation and if so, how did you handle it? Did you tell the whole family at the risk of ripping the family apart or did yall keep to yourself. We're talking about a dude that's preying on young girls. He's a typical white male colonialist pervert. The type who goes overseas to prey on young "exotic" girls.
I know we know men are creeps but that's another level.
If there is solid evidence of this such as a victim of victims who have spoken out then this is not your problem to sort out. Somebody has to alert the police as soon as possible.I wouldn't be overly concerned about the effect it has on your family but more so over his next potential targets. The effect it will have on them and their families will be devastating.

You will find no solace in keeping a dark secret from your family knowing that this pervert was allowed to carry on abusing children without being challenged.

If he is, as you say, preying on underage girls then he needs locking up before any more misery is caused.

Going on the limited information you've provided this is the best advice I can offer at this point.
 





Joined
Dec 21, 2018
Messages
269
Likes
400
#17
AFAIK there have been successful prosecutions for men who travel overseas with the explicit purchase of raping children.

My grandfather molested my mother but he died in prison 10 years before I was born for killing some guy. IDK she never dealt with it really so I’m sorry I don’t know what to say OP or @Mr.Anderson
Thanks for caring, for real. My grandma provided great suport for Clare, and pretty much everybody but her own aunt support her. It's a shame that even tough the brazilian justice already knows about this we all believe that in the end it will pretty much nothing will happen. There is na officer in the case buuuut.... meh =/

I think that in the future clare will pay up some guys to beat the guy. He is so overconfident that nothing will happen that he struts around mocking all society, he don't even try to hide or deny that he did it.
 





Joined
May 15, 2019
Messages
46
Likes
70
#18
Well what exactly is he doing? How do you know about? Are you sure no one else does? What proof do you have? There are like a million questions...
I saw his internet browsing history when I went to visit them, and he was definitely going on websites where he would try to get in contact with young escort girls.
 





Last edited:
Joined
May 15, 2019
Messages
46
Likes
70
#19
If there is solid evidence of this such as a victim of victims who have spoken out then this is not your problem to sort out. Somebody has to alert the police as soon as possible.I wouldn't be overly concerned about the effect it has on your family but more so over his next potential targets. The effect it will have on them and their families will be devastating.

You will find no solace in keeping a dark secret from your family knowing that this pervert was allowed to carry on abusing children without being challenged.

If he is, as you say, preying on underage girls then he needs locking up before any more misery is caused.

Going on the limited information you've provided this is the best advice I can offer at this point.
No real evidence he's abusing children but I saw his internet browser and he's going on websites to contact escort girls who are half his age.
 





Joined
Mar 16, 2017
Messages
3,655
Likes
7,057
#20
I saw his internet browsing history when I went to visit them, and he was definitely going on websites where he would try to get in contact with young escort girls.
Well that should be reportable if they are minors, report away.

I’m not sure what half his age means... half my own age would still be legal age of consent where I live. (17.5 years old for those curious) and while that would be creepy it would not be a crime