Help: How to deal with this knowledge?

[Lonk]

Well, what can I say? I've finally take the monarch/mkpill and there's no going back now. I can't unlearn what I've been told. And it's killing me inside. It's ruined so many things for me that I struggle to find joy and can only look at the things I once liked with disgust. And now I know it's only a matter of time before I see a symbol in a video game and I can't play it any more. It's even ruining my relationships with people--one of my friends posted a photo of her and her dog and she's doing the ok hand sign and even though logically I know there is zero reason to suspect she's a satanist or anything, that's what my mind went to and I can't see her any differently. I have made several dances with use the ok sign or a hand over the eye or the I love you/devil horns one, but I'm definitely NOT a Satanist, or a devil worshiper, or part of the illuminati. Now I can't do those dances without cringing or changing the signs to a peace sign.

Please help. Is there any way to rectify this? I know most if not all the stuff I consume is controlled by (((them))) and it's so hard to tell what isn't. I can't even play Legend Of Zelda: Breath Of The Wild because of the triangles and the eyes, or FFXV because one of the characters likes to take photos and one of the many poses he can do is the ok sign over his eye. Can't even listen to its gorgeous soundtrack without wondering, is Yoko Shimamura a satanist too? Or an MK Ultra slave? A handler? All three? Am I a horrible person for liking this soundtrack? Should I not listen to it? I want to enjoy these things but I feel like it'd be wrong for me to enjoy them, or others would judge me. Can I still enjoy this stuff while being aware that it may/may not be pushing an agenda I don't like?

It makes me want to die, and I'm not being dramatic. By becoming less ignorant I have taken what little joy I had left out of me. Please, if you can, give me some advice. (And for the record, I'm not religious, and have no desire to read the bible or the torah or anything, so please don't recommend I do any of that. On that note, like I said, that doesn't mean I worship a/the devil or am a satanist--I'm not, and would never.)

 

[Etagloc]

And now you too have been infected. There is no cure. You might as well embrace it. Welcome.

This life is an illusion. The shell which is our bodies will be peeled. The shell is peeled, the core is extracted and that contained in the core shall determine your fate after you leave.

 

[Antipapirus]

I went through that also...... it passes and new things will enter your life
No need to worry about it - its the stage where the old reality colapses and a new one is being created - have patience

I loved hip-hop and pc games - and then I discovered all my rapers are gay\ pedho\ satanistic \ demon infested victims , pc games are a brainwashing tools that you better stay away from them, I loved eating crap and drinking crap , I realized I was surrounded by poison and the world Is going to hell - BUT NOW ? - I'm so happy and calm it's fantastic - you will find your own way to deal and evolve - good luck

 

[Lonk]

And now you too have been infected. There is no cure. You might as well embrace it. Welcome.

This life is an illusion. The shell which is our bodies will be peeled. The shell is peeled, the core is extracted and that contained in the core shall determine your fate after you leave.

...Is this a roundabout way of saying I should kill myself? lol Man this life is f*cking suffering, but I'm still afraid of dying. I haven't even lived yet...

I went through that also...... it passes and new things will enter your life
No need to worry about it - its the stage where the old reality colapses and a new one is being created - have patience

I loved hip-hop and pc games - and then I discovered all my rapers are gay\ pedho\ satanistic \ demon infested victims , pc games are a brainwashing tools that you better stay away from them, I loved eating crap and drinking crap , I realized I was surrounded by poison and the world Is going to hell - BUT NOW ? - I'm so happy and calm it's fantastic - you will find your own way to deal and evolve - good luck

Thank you both for replying and offering support, but...this isn't really what I was asking...I don't know if I'll find my own way to deal. And knowing me, that way to deal may just bring me even farther back in to depression. I really need help with dealing and accepting this. I know games can be addicting but I've never been one to get addicted. My main concern is, again, doing exactly what (((they))) want, which mostly conflicts with what I want to do with my life...except the video games and music part. I listened to a lot of M83, Hammock, and Explosions In The Sky before, but now I'm afraid that they might also be in on it. I really can't tell. Their music is so good but I'm so scared that I'm being manipulated/tricked. Same goes for video games. Music and video games are the only things that kept me from killing myself for years and years, and now they've been snatched away from me by my own fear of the world. I feel hopeless. I don't know what to do, which is why I'm asking for advice on what to do. Can I still play these games and listen to this music? Is that okay? Like, it makes me physically ill to think I'm supporting an industry or a people who are either brainwashing victims/perpetrators themselves or friends/cooperatives with brainwashing victims and their perpetrators. I don't want to give them what they want.

 

[Etagloc]

...Is this a roundabout way of saying I should kill myself? Man this life is f*cking suffering, but I'm still afraid of dying

No, never, I would never advise that.

Go outside and enjoy the sun, nature, etc.

Read a good book.

Whatever it is that you enjoy that isn't bad for you- do that, if it's that serious.

Attempting to end your own life is never the answer. Like if it's that serious, you can PM me and talk to me anytime about whatever is going on.

I would never advise anything like that.

I would simply say to remember that whatever you're going through is temporary, that your suffering is temporary and that there is a God and there is justice in the end.

There are horrible, evil people who prosper in this world and there are good decent people who suffer. Not an ounce of me believes in this evil, satanic mentality that hates the poor and thinks the rich are oppressed saints. Some of the best people I ever met were homeless.

Why are there are evil people who prosper and good people who suffer?

I wonder that every day.

In any case, hold on. The story is not completed yet.

I like Mecca but I don't like her "this is what the human race had amounted to" thread. I think it is defeatist.

Furthermore, we can't be talked about in the past tense. Our story is still in progress. You don't announce the results of a football game while it's still in progress.

It seems the devil has won many battles but..... the devil can win many battles but it's not about who wins a battle. It's about who wins the war. God will win the war.

God is intentionally letting the devil appear to have the upper hand I believe because God wants to know who is really on God's team and who will fight on that team to the very end.

You have no right to end your life. You are here for a reason. God has a purpose and a plan for you.

You can't go to heaven if you end your own life. It is a sin and that is not what you want your final act on earth to be. It could have serious repurcussions in the next life. God is with you.

God is with you, it is God who controls our destiny and it is God who we must serve.

If the future is bliss and joy, wonderful. If it is nothing but suffering then it must be endured. This is harsh but it is the truth and it must be accepted.

 

[Etagloc]

Also, don't try to escape reality. Face it.

This is all harsh but there is no alternative. Do what you can to make it better but you have to accept the suffering and the pain. You have no other choice.

In the Bible that is called carrying your cross. You don't believe the Bible?

I don't care. If you're not desperate enough to turn to spirituality, then perhaps you're not that desperate.

The Bible, the Quran, the Tao Te Ching, the Gita, whatever it is. You might as well pick up one of those books and you might as well pray and believe in something higher.

This world is not about enjoyment and thinking that it is will only make things worse.

Yes you are here with us in hell. This is hell.

Why do you think this forum is dominated by religious fanatics and why this world is full of people who can't face reality?

Try talking to any regular people about real stuff! Try it! They will be horrified!

And they will try to shut you up. They are desperate to not see the truth! They are desperately running from reality!

So you see, we are all in hell. Welcome aboard and don't even think about trying to kill yourself. Sit in your seat and enjoy the ride.

If you try to end your own life, you will make things worse. It will only make things worse.

So sit on your seat, enjoy the ride. If you need to cry, then feel no shame in quietly doing so. Eventually you will run out of tears and then you will have no more tears.

 

[Etagloc]

Also- I suggest weed. I say smoke weed lol.

Hell is not so great. But hell with weed is better than hell without weed. I'd hook you up myself if you were near me

 

[Lonk]

(...)

Well 25 years is a long time for something to be temporary. I don't know if I believe in god, and if I do I don't want to read the bible again. I am desperate, but I'm not dumb...well actually I am, it's just I regularly meet people who are about 500 times more dumb than me, so it strokes my ego a little bit.

I think the only thing that can keep me from ending it all is enjoying these things despite them possibly being tainted...Would you view that as wrong? It's either that or a life of suffering and wanting to die without having the strength to go through with suicide, while fearing death. And then maybe an afterlife of the same hell except this time I'm on fire and it's eternal. That's pretty damn morbid. That doesn't make me happy. I had a very horrible childhood and teenhood that I'd rather not talk about, and if I'm here for a reason, and that reason is to suffer, then that's pretty sad and that just makes me want either change, to escape, or to kill myself even more.

And if there is a God(s), then I have a LOT of bones to pick with him/her/them/whoever, if they're controlling my destiny. And I serve no one. Especially not someone who makes me suffer. I did that in my younger years, it's not happening anymore. But if God or the Gods are kind...then they shouldn't judge me for the declaration. Or make me suffer. To which I would willingly serve them, if they presented themselves.

Also, never EVER tell someone who's suicidal (dw I'm not right now, and thank you for your offer!) that suicide is a sin. How the hell is that supposed to help? It doesn't. It just makes them feel worse, if they're religious. Plus if it's a sin that means it can be forgiven if you're a Christian, so...That may even make them want to do it even more.

As for weed....no thanks, I'm staying away from drugs as much as I can. Alcohol too.

 

[elsbet]

Peace sign doesn't mean Peace, either.

Js

 

[Etagloc]

Also yes this hell and I keep emphasizing that because once we accept that I think things are way easier. If we're in hell and we accept it- then it's much easier to accept things than if we think otherwise. It's more realistic and much better than constant disappointment.

But anyways.... being that we in hell..... look at all this crazy, weird stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am being for real- look at all this crazy weird stuff! All around- everywhere!

Come on, man- we have to stay alive.... for science!!!!!

This stuff is too weird not to be interesting lol. Admit it. There's a bunch of weird, interesting stuff. This is too weird and too interesting to be missed. Think about it.... what if you actually end your life and wake up in actual hell.... and then it turns out hell is a cubicle

Think about it. Me and my friends used to be homeless. And you know what we did. We sat at a bus stop and threw peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at cars!

I feel no remorse!

Have you thrown sandwiches at cars lately? I'm not saying do it..... certainly I wouldn't advise that

But I won't say anything if you do......

you know what we also did? we smoked an insane amount of weed through my homie's hookah.....

so you see.... life is full of opportunities. If life gives you a sandwich, you can always throw it at a car. I'm not saying do it but... that's what I did.

Anyways, man (or woman)..... sit back and enjoy the ride. Just sit back and enjoy it. There's tons of weird stuff to see. Sit back and observe it for science. It could be worse. You could be zombified like most. You are awake. Congrats. Sit back and enjoy the weirdness. Make you some popcorn.

 

[MP3D]

Hey there. I do understand what you are saying / feeling. it is a normal reaction.

"A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions. Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr."

While it is true that once you start down the pathway of truth, you can never go back, that is a very good thing. you are looking at it all wrong. You can be aware and still enjoy things. I love Explosions in the Sky. Its good music. if you like it, listen to it. here is the thing that a lot of people on this site don't seem to understand. SOMETIMES A TRIANGLE IS JUST A TRIANGLE. sometimes it's not. just don't fixate on every little symbol as being placed there on purpose to brainwash you and open the gates of hell, haha.

Just be aware. know that there is an agenda and be informed enough to see that. if something is symbolic heavy to the point of being absurd or overwhelming, then choose to distance yourself and move on. or not. there is no right or wrong answer.

the other major problem with a lot of users here is their religious crusade. be very aware of anyone that throws around bible verses, like that is the answer. what a hypocritical sad response. those people are just as lost as everyone else and they are very dangerous and misguided.

i dont know you, but it sounds like you may be dealing with clinical depression. that is a very serious and hard thing to deal with. stay healthy, take care of your body, talk to someone. but please be very careful if you are thinking about getting on any type of antidepressants. excersize and hobbies go a long way.

im glad you found this site. i really enjoy it ( despite some really wack users)

 

[Lonk]

Peace sign doesn't mean Peace, either.

Js

...Please don't tell me what it might mean to some. I want to know but for my own health I'd rather you not tell me.

 

[Etagloc]

Well 25 years is a long time for something to be temporary. I don't know if I believe in god, and if I do I don't want to read the bible again. I am desperate, but I'm not dumb...well actually I am, it's just I regularly meet people who are about 500 times more dumb than me, so it strokes my ego a little bit.

I think the only thing that can keep me from ending it all is enjoying these things despite them possibly being tainted...Would you view that as wrong? It's either that or a life of suffering and wanting to die without having the strength to go through with suicide, while fearing death. And then maybe an afterlife of the same hell except this time I'm on fire and it's eternal. That's pretty damn morbid. That doesn't make me happy. I had a very horrible childhood and teenhood that I'd rather not talk about, and if I'm here for a reason, and that reason is to suffer, then that's pretty sad and that just makes me want either change, to escape, or to kill myself even more.

And if there is a God(s), then I have a LOT of bones to pick with him/her/them/whoever, if they're controlling my destiny. And I serve no one. Especially not someone who makes me suffer. I did that in my younger years, it's not happening anymore. But if God or the Gods are kind...then they shouldn't judge me for the declaration. Or make me suffer. To which I would willingly serve them, if they presented themselves.

Also, never EVER tell someone who's suicidal (dw I'm not right now, and thank you for your offer!) that suicide is a sin. How the hell is that supposed to help? It doesn't. It just makes them feel worse, if they're religious. Plus if it's a sin that means it can be forgiven if you're a Christian, so...That may even make them want to do it even more.

As for weed....no thanks, I'm staying away from drugs as much as I can. Alcohol too.

Suicide is a sin and I'll say that all I want to whoever I want. I am not a PC person who tells people candycoated nonsense they want to hear. I don't care what people want to hear. Suicide IS a sin. I don't care about PCness lol. It is a sin period.

I get your life is hard but most peoples' lives are hard.

 

[Etagloc]

I don't about making people feel good. I tell the truth and don't care how it makes people feel.

 

[MP3D]

Peace sign doesn't mean Peace, either.

Js

it is, if the one using it, intends on it to be one.
that's how symbols work.

 

[MP3D]

I don't about making people feel good. I tell the truth and don't care how it makes people feel.

truth? hahaha you cant talk about "sin" and "truth at the same time.

 

[Lonk]

Hey there. I do understand what you are saying / feeling. it is a normal reaction.

"A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions. Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr."

While it is true that once you start down the pathway of truth, you can never go back, that is a very good thing. you are looking at it all wrong. You can be aware and still enjoy things. I love Explosions in the Sky. Its good music. if you like it, listen to it. here is the thing that a lot of people on this site don't seem to understand. SOMETIMES A TRIANGLE IS JUST A TRIANGLE. sometimes it's not. just don't fixate on every little symbol as being placed there on purpose to brainwash you and open the gates of hell, haha.

Just be aware. know that there is an agenda and be informed enough to see that. if something is symbolic heavy to the point of being absurd or overwhelming, then choose to distance yourself and move on. or not. there is no right or wrong answer.

the other major problem with a lot of users here is their religious crusade. be very aware of anyone that throws around bible verses, like that is the answer. what a hypocritical sad response. those people are just as lost as everyone else and they are very dangerous and misguided.

i dont know you, but it sounds like you may be dealing with clinical depression. that is a very serious and hard thing to deal with. stay healthy, take care of your body, talk to someone. but please be very careful if you are thinking about getting on any type of antidepressants. excersize and hobbies go a long way.

im glad you found this site. i really enjoy it ( despite some really wack users)

Oh, thank you so much for your response! I am aware of agendas and possible symbolism meanings, my struggle is just figuring out what is intended to be evil and what is just there for stylistic/other symbolic purposes. That lack of clarity is what stresses me so much. I remember reading a few days ago someone calling Animal Crossing satanic because one of the possibilities for the texture of your town's grass is triangles...It kinda freaked me out, even though now I find that a little hard to trust.

Yeah, I do have severe depression (to give you an idea of how bad, my hair has been falling out for years now for no other reason than stress--but it's starting to grow back), and PTSD, and other things. I go to therapy for it and have been for years. I think it's helped quite a bit. I used to take pills but stopped them, now the only pills I take are for my hair, and I'm currently on a healthy eating diet. I've lost 20 lbs already and haven't eaten anything processed in 4 months, and I feel way better.

It's actually very relieving to hear you say I can still enjoy this stuff and be aware. It gives me hope. Thank you.

I don't about making people feel good. I tell the truth and don't care how it makes people feel.

That's fine if you're not PC but if you don't want someone to commit suicide, you're going about it the wrong way. That just brings guilt and more feelings of shame, jsyk. And not everyone believes that too, so I mean it won't work on me lol...

Actually that's a lie, it will because I'm so paranoid of getting smited by a God I don't know exists. >_>;;

 

[Lonk]

BTW sorry if my thoughts are everywhere, I'm super dissociated right now (no I don't have DID) and it's hard to focus, but I didn't want to be rude and not reply.

...TMI?

 

[Vytas]

If you don't want any of that simply ignore it, people are very successful at that....Most likely you are trolling though..

 

[Lonk]

If you don't want any of that simply ignore it, people are very successful at that....Most likely you are trolling though..

Why would you think I'm trolling? Also ignore what?