Feminist Lies That Are Making Women Miserable

Lyfe

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Ten Lies of Feminism


At its inception, the feminist movement, accompanied by the sexual revolution, made a series of enticing, exciting promises to women. These promises sounded good, so good that many women deserted their men and their children or rejected the entire notion of marriage and family, in pursuit of "themselves" and a career. These pursuits, which emphasized self-sufficiency and individualism, were supposed to enhance a woman's quality of life and improve her options, as well as her relations with men. Now, a decade or so later, women have had to face the fact that, in many ways, feminism and liberation made promises that could not be delivered.

Lie #1: Women Can Have It All

The first lie is that women can have it all. We were fed an illusion that women, being the superior sex, have an inexhaustible supply of physical and emotional energy that enable us to juggle a career, family, friendships and volunteer service. Proponents of feminism declared that not only can women do what men do, but we ought to do what men do. Since men can't do what women can do--have babies--this put a double burden on women. It wasn't enough that women were already exhausted from the never-ending tasks of child-rearing and homemaking; we were told that women needed to be in the work force as well, contributing to the family financially.

Scripture presents a different picture for men and women. The Bible appears to make a distinction between each gender's primary energies. The commands to women are generally in the realm of our relationships, which is consistent with the way God made women to be primarily relational, being naturally sensitive to others and usually valuing people above things. Scripture never forbids women to be gainfully employed; in fact, the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 is engaged in several part-time business ventures, in real estate and manufacturing. Nonetheless, it is the excellent care of her husband, her children, her home and her community that inspires the praise she is due. Titus 2 instructs older women to mentor younger women, and teach them to care for their husbands and children and homemaking responsibilities. The God-given strengths of a woman were given to bring glory to God through her womanly differences

Lie #2: Men and Women are Fundamentally the Same

Apart from some minor biological differences, feminism strongly suggested that males and females are fundamentally the same. Culture, it announced, was responsible for turning human blank slates into truck-wielding boys and doll-toting girls. This lie has been very effective at changing the culture. My husband Ray and I offer a seminar at Probe's Mind Games conferences called "Guys Are From Mars, Girls Are From Venus," where we go over the major differences between the sexes. Men, for instance, tend to be more goal-oriented and competitive, where women are more relational and cooperative. Men are active; women are verbal. This is intuitively obvious to the adults in our audience, but it is often new news to high school and college students. We find adults nodding with smiles of recognition, some of them nudging each other in the ribs. In the younger members of the audience, though, we see "the lights come on" in their eyes as they are exposed to something that is obvious and they probably already knew was true, but feminism's worldview had been feeding them a lie. They have been so immersed in this cultural myth that they had accepted it without question. One young man came up to me after a session and said he totally disagreed with me, that there are no real differences between males and females. I asked him if he treated his guy friends the same way he treated his girl friends, and he said, "Of course!" I asked, "And this doesn't cause you any problems?" He said no. With a smile, I suggested he come talk to me in ten years after he'd had a chance to experience real life!

The truth is that God created significant differences between males and females. We can see evidence of this in the fact that Scripture gives different commands for husbands and wives, which are rooted in the differing needs and divinely-appointed roles of men and women.

Lie #3: Desirability is Enhanced by Achievement

The third lie of feminism is that the more a woman achieves, the more attractive and desirable she becomes to men. The importance of achievement to a man's sense of self--an element of masculinity that is, we believe, God-given--was projected onto women. Feminism declared that achieving something, making a mark in the world, was the only measure of success that merited the respect of others. Women who believed this myth found themselves competing with men. Now, competition is appropriate in the business and professional world, but it's disastrous in relationships.

Men do respect and admire accomplished women, just as they do men, but personal relationships operate under a different set of standards. Men most appreciate a woman's unique feminine attributes: love, sensitivity, her abilities to relate. Women have been shocked to discover that their hard-won accomplishments haven't resulted in great relationships with men. Sometimes, being overeducated hampers a woman's ability to relate to men. Men's egos are notoriously fragile, and they are by nature competitive. It's threatening to many men when a woman achieves more, or accomplishes more, or knows more than they do. Feminism didn't warn women of the double standard in relationships: that achievement can and does reap benefits in our careers, but be a stumbling block in our relationships.

The question naturally arises, then, Is it bad for a woman to have a higher degree of education than the man in a relationship? Is it troublesome when a woman is smarter than the man? Should a woman "dumb down" in order to get or keep her man? In the words of the apostle Paul, "May it never be!" A woman living up to the potential of her God-given gifts brings glory to God; it would be an insult to our gracious God to pretend those gifts aren't there. The answer is for women to understand that many men feel threatened and insecure about this area of potential competition, and maintain an attitude of humility and sensitivity about one's strengths; as Romans exhorts us, "Honor[ing] one another above yourselves" (12:10).

Not surprisingly, God already knew about the disparity between the sexes on the issue of achievement. Throughout the Bible, men are called to trust God as they achieve whatever God has called them to do. It's important for men to experience personal significance by making a mark on the world. But God calls women to trust Him in a different area: in our relationships. A woman's value is usually not in providing history-changing leadership and making great, bold moves, but in loving and supporting those around us, changing the world by touching hearts. Once in a while, a woman does make her mark on a national or global scale: consider the biblical judge Deborah, Golda Meir, Margaret Thatcher, and Indira Ghandi. But women like these are the exception, not the rule. And we don't have to feel guilty for not being "exceptional."

Lie #4: The Myth of One's "Unrealized Potential"

Lie number four says that all of us--but especially women--have tremendous potential that simply must be realized. To feminism's way of thinking, just being average isn't acceptable: you must be great.

This causes two problems. First, women are deceived into thinking they are one of the elite, the few, the special. Reality, though, is that most women are ordinary, one of the many. All of us are uniquely gifted by God, but few women are given visible, high- profile leadership roles, which tend to be the only ones that feminism deems valuable. We run into trouble when we're operating under a set of beliefs that don't coincide with reality!

Consequently, many women are operating under unrealistically high expectations of themselves. When life doesn't deliver on their hopes, whether they be making class valedictorian, beauty pageant winner, company president, or neurosurgeon, women are set up for major disappointment. Just being a cog in the wheel of your own small world isn't enough.

This brings us to the second problem. A lot of women beat themselves up for not accomplishing greatness. Instead of investing their life's energies in doing well those things they can do, they grieve what and who they are not. Just being good, or being good at what they do, isn't enough if they're not the best.

Romans 12:3 tells us, "Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought." Rather than worrying about our unrealized potential for some sort of nebulous greatness, we ought to be concerned about being faithful and obedient in the things God has given us to do, trusting Him for the ultimate results. And we ought to not worry about being ordinary as if there were some stigma to it. Scripture says that God is pleased to use ordinary people, because that's how He gets the most glory. (See 1 Corinthians 1:26-31.) There is honor in being an ordinary person in the hand of an extraordinary God.

Lie #5: Sexual Sameness

The fifth lie of feminism is that men and women are the same sexually. This lie comes to us courtesy of the same evil source that brought us the lies of the sexual revolution.

The truth is that women can't separate sex from love as easily as men can. For women, sex needs to be an expression of love and commitment. Without these qualities, sex is demeaning, nothing more than hormones going crazy.

The cost of sex is far greater for women than for men. Sex outside of a committed, loving relationship--I'm talking about marriage here--often results in unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and profound heartbreak. Every time a woman gives her body away to a man, she gives a part of her heart as well. Sexual "freedom" has brought new degrees of heartache to millions of women. The lie of sexual equality has produced widespread promiscuity and epidemic disease. No wonder so many women are struggling with self-esteem!

God's commands concerning sex take into account the fact that men and women are not the same sexually or any other way. He tells us to exercise self-control before marriage, saving all sexual expression for the constraints of a marriage relationship, and then to keep the marriage bed pure once we are married. When we follow these guidelines, we discover that God's laws provide protection for women: the security of a committed relationship, freedom from sexual health worries, and a stable environment for any children produced in the union. This high standard also protects men by providing a safe channel for their sexual energies. Both chaste single men, and faithful husbands, are kept safe from sexual diseases, unwanted pregnancies with women other than their wives, and the guilt of sexual sin.

Lie #6: The Denial of Maternity

Many women postponed marriage and childbearing to pursue their own personal development and career goals. This perspective denies the reality of a woman's reproductive system and the limitations of time. Childbearing is easier in a woman's 20s and 30s than in her 40s. Plus, there is a physical cost; science has borne out the liabilities that older women incur for themselves and their babies. Midlife women are more prone to have problems getting pregnant, staying pregnant, and then experiencing difficult deliveries. The risk of conceiving a child with Down's Syndrome is considerably higher in older mothers.{3} Fertility treatment doesn't work as well for women over 40.{4}

There is also a spiritual dimension to denying maternity. When women refuse their God-ordained roles and responsibilities, they open themselves to spiritual deception and temptations. 1 Timothy 2:15 is an intriguing verse: "But women will be saved through childbearing." One compelling translation for this verse is, "Women will be kept safe through childbearing," where Paul uses the word for childbearing as a sort of shorthand for the woman's involvement in the domestic sphere--having her "focus on the family," so to speak.(5) When a married woman's priorities are marriage, family and the home, she is kept safe--protected--from the consequences of delaying motherhood and the temptations that beleaguer a woman trying to fill a man's role. For example, I know one married woman who chose to pursue a full-time career in commercial real estate, to the detriment of her family. She confessed that she found herself constantly battling the temptation to lust on two fronts: sexual lust for the men in her office and her clients, and lust for the recognition and material things that marked success in that field. Another friend chose her career over having any children at all, and discovered that like the men in her field, she could not separate her sense of self from her job, and it ultimately cost her her marriage and her life as she knew it. The problem isn't having a career: the problem is when a woman gets her priorities out of balance.

Lie #7: To Be Feminine Is To Be Weak

In the attempt to blur gender distinctions, feminists declared war on the concept of gender-related characteristics. The qualities that marked feminine women--softness, sweetness, kindness, the ability to relate well--were judged as silly, stupid and weak. Only what characterized men--characteristics like firmness, aggressiveness, competitiveness--were deemed valuable.

But when women try to take on male qualities, the end result is a distortion that is neither feminine nor masculine. A woman is perceived as shrill, not spirited. What is expected and acceptable aggression in a man is perceived as unwelcome brashness in a woman. When women try to be tough, it is often taken as unpleasantness. Unfortunately, there really is a strong stereotype about "what women should be like" that merits being torn down. A lot of men are threatened by strong women with opinions and agendas of their own, and treat them with undeserved disrespect. But it is not true that traditionally masculine characteristics are the only ones that count.

There really is a double standard operating, because the characteristics that constitute masculinity and femininity are separate and different, and they are not interchangeable. To be feminine is a special kind of strength. It's a different, appealing kind of power that allows a woman to influence her world in a way quite distinct from the way a man influences the world. It pleased the Lord to create woman to complement man, not to compete with him or be a more rounded copy of him. 1 Corinthians 11:7 says that man is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. Femininity isn't weakness; it's the glorious, splendid crown on humanity.

Lie #8: Doing is Better Than Being

In his book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus{6}, John Gray pointed out that men get their sense of self from achievement, and women get their sense of self from relationships. Feminism declared that the male orientation of what you do was the only one that mattered; who you are, and how important you are to the people in your world, didn't count for as much.

This lie said that active is good, passive is bad. Traditional feminine behaviors of being passive and receptive were denounced as demeaning to women and ineffective in the world. Only being the initiator counted, not being the responder. "To listen, to be there, to receive the other with an open heart and mind--this has always been one of the most vital roles of woman. Most women do this quite naturally, but many have come to feel uneasy in this role. Instead, they work frantically on assertiveness, aggression, personal expression, and power, madly suppressing their feminine instincts of love and relatedness."{7}

Women's roles in the family, the church, and the world are a combination of being a responder and an initiator. As a responder, a wife honors her husband through loving submission, and a woman serves the church through the exercise of her spiritual gifts. As an initiator and leader, a woman teaches her children and uses her abilities in the world, such as the woman of Proverbs 31. God's plan is for us to live a balanced life--sometimes active, sometimes passive; sometimes the initiator, sometimes the responder; at all times, submitting both who we are and what we do to the Lordship of Christ.

Lie #9: The Myth of Self-Sufficiency

The ninth lie is the myth of self-sufficiency. Remember the famous feminist slogan that appeared on everything from bumper stickers to t-shirts to notepads? "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." The message was clear: women don't need men, who are inferior anyway. The world would be a better place if women ran it: no wars, no greed, no power plays, just glorious cooperation and peace.

The next step after "women don't need men" was logical: women don't need anybody. We can take care of ourselves. Helen Reddy's hit song "I Am Woman" became feminism's theme song, with the memorable chorus, "If I have to, I can do anything / I am strong / I am invincible / I am woman!"

Of course, if women don't need anybody except themselves, they certainly don't need God. Particularly a masculine, patriarchal God who makes rules they don't like and insists that He alone is God. But the need to worship is deeply ingrained in us, so feminist thought gave rise to goddess worship. The goddess was just a female image to focus on; in actuality, goddess worship is worship of oneself.{8}

The lie of self-sufficiency is the same lie that Satan has been deceiving us with since the Garden of Eden: What do you need God for? We grieve the Lord's heart when we believe this lie. Jeremiah 2:13 says, "My people have committed two sins: they have forsaken Me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water." God made us for Himself; believing the lie of self-sufficiency isn't only futile, it's a slap in God's face.

Lie #10: Women Would Enjoy the Feminization of Men

The tenth lie of feminism is that women would enjoy the feminization of men. Feminists believed that the only way to achieve equality of the sexes was to do away with role distinctions. Then they decided that that wasn't enough: society had to do away with gender distinctions, or at the very least blur the lines. Women embraced more masculine values, and men were encouraged to embrace more feminine characteristics. That was supposed to fix the problem. It didn't.

As men tried to be "good guys" and accommodate feminists' demands, the culture saw a new type of man emerge: sensitive, nurturing, warmly compassionate, yielding. The only problem was that this "soft man" wasn't what women wanted. Women pushed men to be like women, and when they complied, nobody respected them. Women, it turns out, want to be the soft ones--and we want men to be strong and firm and courageous; we want a manly man. When men start taking on feminine characteristics, they're just wimpy and unmasculine, not pleasing themselves or the women who demanded the change. There is a good reason that books and movies with strong, masculine heroes continue to appeal to such a large audience. Both men and women respond to men who fulfill God's design for male leadership, protection, and strength.

Underlying the women's liberation movement is an angry, unsubmissive attitude that is fueled by the lies of deception. It's good to know what the lies are, but it's also important to know what God's word says, so we can combat the lies with the power of His truth.


4 Feminist Lies That Are Making Women Miserable

Twenty years ago, I wrote my first book about why women can’t “have it all,” or at least all at once, despite what the culture tells them. (Hint: It’s because no one, male or female, can perform two full-time jobs simultaneously without the bottom falling out.)

At the time, the so-called Mommy Wars were raging. Women everywhere who’d been sold a bill of goods by their feminist mothers and mentors were either lamenting the futility of being able to successfully work full-time outside the home while maintaining a healthy marriage and family life, or they were defending their choice to work full-time by insisting children do fine in round-the-clock substitute care.


Since then, the messages to women about how to have a happy life—as it relates to love and sex, work and family—have merely served to make women miserable. Not only are they unhappier than their mothers and grandmothers ever were, they’re significantly more stressed out; much more so than men.

None of this has done anything to help men and women find their way to one another. Dating in America is all but dead, and marriage is at an all-time low. While there’s more than one reason for this sad state of affairs, at the heart of it are the lies feminists have been telling for years. Here are four, in no particular order.

1. Women Don’t Need Men
It started with a seemingly comical phrase Gloria Steinem didn’t coin but repeatedly used during the height of the 1960s feminist movement: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” It’s still alive and well today, whether it’s Jennifer Aniston talking about how women “don’t have to fiddle with a man to have that child” or Emma Watson talking about “self-partnering.” Over time, as women began to make their own money and take advantage of the newfound birth control pill, they came to believe that women don’t need men.

They were wrong. Biologically, women are wired to depend on men—regardless of much life has changed. Most women still want to be mothers, and when they do they become vulnerable. Even today, women know instinctively that they will ultimately need a man if they want to have a family and if they want the option of being home at all, if only for a period of time.


Indeed, research shows that what matters most to women—even to those who are economically independent—is knowing they have a man on whom they can rely. It’s the feeling of being safe and in good hands—yes, even financially—that matters most. That is what’s known as hypergamy, and it is alive and well in 2019.

2. Men and Women Are the Same, Or Gender Is a Social Construct
The precise moment in history when the relationship between the sexes took a nosedive is when women began to have sex like a man—casually, with no strings attached—under the guise that women are no different from men and are thus just as capable of having casual sex. Consider this ridiculous Bustle article asserting, based on a dubious study, that men and women are now equally likely to pursue a hookup if approached the right way.

From college campuses to our nation’s boardrooms, many women today have learned to pursue sex the way men often do: no commitment necessary. And they’re getting burned.

If there’s anything that proves this in spades, it’s the so-called campus r*pe crisis and the excesses of Me Too. For if it were true that women are “just like men” in their ability to disentangle sex and emotion, why would campus flings and office dalliances become a cause for the courts rather than a welcome ride?


It’s not just our sexuality that confirms the disparate natures of women and men. Parenting proves it in spades. Once a baby arrives, a woman’s nurturing gene almost always kicks in. Providing for her child emotionally is her first instinct, which is why going back to work so soon is heart-wrenching for mothers.

A father’s reaction is different: his first instinct is to support the family financially. It is not his sole contribution, but it’s first on his list. Simply put, that men and women may both be capable of performing identical tasks doesn’t mean they want to do them with equal fervor. Desire matters.

3. The Biological Clock Isn’t Real
The biological clock may be politically inconvenient, but that doesn’t make it any less real. The ideal age for a woman to get pregnant is 25, noted Gillian Lockwood, medical director at the Midland Fertility Clinic in the U.K., recently: “The bleak reality is that the chance of IVF working with your own eggs once you are 40 is absolutely abysmal…In what other branch of medicine would we let, yet alone encourage, patients to pay for an elective operation with a less than five percent chance of working?”

Because of this, it stands to reason that men can postpone marriage longer than women can. But we don’t tell women this. Instead, we pretend they can map out their lives with career at the center, as men do, as though they won’t hit a point in which their ability to conceive will invariably clash with a career. Articles abound with the goal to obscure the biological reality that it’s easier for women to have babies in their twenties and early thirties.


We lie to women, in other words, to further a political agenda. In doing so, feminists get what they want—for women to reject maternal desire and to instead produce in the marketplace—but women don’t.

Indeed, after decades of following the cultural script, women can often no longer find husbands. Or they can’t have babies. Or if they do get married and have babies, they can’t stay home with them because they mapped out a life that supported an entirely different goal.

4. A Career Is More Meaningful Than Marriage and Children
Of all the lies feminists tell, the idea that career success is more fulfilling than marriage and family is by far the greatest. It is almost impossible to convey the depth of this lie, for it too began in the 1960s, this time with Betty Friedan’s insistence that being a wife and mother is akin to being in a “comfortable concentration camp.” Since that time, American women have been walloped with a steady diet of words and images that drive Friedan’s argument home.

Humans are pack animals: we need to feel part of the group to feel good about ourselves. Some of us are content to stand apart from the crowd, but most are not. Ergo, cultural messages matter.

Women are surprised to discover that work isn’t nearly as satisfying as they were led to believe.
Since mothering is no longer revered or understood to be something a woman would want to do, let alone should do, women are surprised to discover how heart-wrenching it is to leave their babies and return to work. They’re surprised to discover that work isn’t nearly as satisfying as they were led to believe.

This same sense of unease is felt by single women who can’t find a man with whom to settle down. Careers aren’t fulfilling at all, it turns out, if you wind up in bed at night alone.

Too many women map out their lives with work at the center and eventually wish they hadn’t. Sadly, my inbox is loaded with emails from women who tell me they wished someone had told them this sooner.

So, here I am saying it as loudly as I can. Women have been lied to for years, and that’s why they’re so unhappy. There is only one solution. Flip your priorities—put love and family, not work, at the center—and you will win in the game of life. That’s what I did, and it made all the difference.

 






Lyfe

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Who decided women are miserable? I’m certainly not. That’s a big claim. Would love to see the data used to make it.
I work in a field with allot of women. I dont know any that are truly happy except maybe my current boss. They are all stressed out and have anxiety through the roof, many single mothers...

If I am not mistsken tho you are a feminist that lives a pretty traditional life? You are still with the husband and father of your child since youth and are stay at home cause of covid?
 






justjess

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I work in a field with allot of women. I dont know any that are truly happy except maybe my current boss. They are all stressed out and have anxiety through the roof, many single mothers...

If I am not mistsken tho you are a feminist that lives a pretty traditional life? You are still with the husband and father of your child since youth and are stay at home cause of covid?
And you know they are miserable how? You are assuming or they told you? And does the sample of single moms at your job represent all women? How have you determined this?

and yes I live a pretty traditional life. Yes I’m with my husband who is also the father of my children for 20 years now. And I have been “home” since thanksgiving week because my place of employment was closed because of Covid. Though I still work (run my husbands business - scheduling, billing, marketing, payroll, admin stuff) and go to school (masters program) and raise a toddler and a teenager so I’m not sure you can sit here and tell me my life is stress free or some nonsense.

im willing to bet the women you work with are miserable because they get paid crap and are stressed financially. I raised my son for twelve years with no help - it isn’t fun and I feel for single moms but that does not mean feminism is making women miserable, that most women (or even single moms) even are miserable, or that women are in some way more miserable then men.
 






Lyfe

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And you know they are miserable how? You are assuming or they told you? And does the sample of single moms at your job represent all women? How have you determined this?

and yes I live a pretty traditional life. Yes I’m with my husband who is also the father of my children for 20 years now. And I have been “home” since thanksgiving week because my place of employment was closed because of Covid. Though I still work (run my husbands business - scheduling, billing, marketing, payroll, admin stuff) and go to school (masters program) and raise a toddler and a teenager so I’m not sure you can sit here and tell me my life is stress free or some nonsense.

im willing to bet the women you work with are miserable because they get paid crap and are stressed financially. I raised my son for twelve years with no help - it isn’t fun and I feel for single moms but that does not mean feminism is making women miserable, that most women (or even single moms) even are miserable, or that women are in some way more miserable then men.
The real question is do most women in the workforce work in a meaningful career they enjoy or just simply work at a job and does society even help them arrive within a career that they would acctually enjoy? How many women love their jobs and career and if given a choice between this or having the option to live in a time and society where there is a means for them to be stay at home wives and mothers what would they prefer and make them happier? You chose and work in a field you enjoy. Im willing to bet most women dont, but now there is pressure on them to settle with a job just to survive...
 






Lyfe

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Before feminism stay at home wives and mothers stuck their heads in the oven because they were so desperate and unhappy.
Well jess would ask you if you have data to prove that stay at home wives and mothers were generally unhappy...

The trade off is now most women slave away their lives in the workforce at jobs and careers they dont appreciate like men...
 






kerrichinchilla

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hon best not to quote from a bible website to condemn feminism, after all the bible isn't exactly pro woman, from r*pe, murder, torture, forced marriage, selling your daughter to her rapist and slavery. The bible is not one to follow if women want rights or to live

And believe me im incredibly happy with feminism,

feminism has allowed me to have

- The freedom NOT to have children
-Im just about to pay off my loan for the car i own and drive, a loan, and car i would not be able to have if feminism did not exist
- I have a masters degree, a bachelors degree and other qualifications which i would not have if not for feminism
- I have a career i love, again something feminism fought for
- I recently voted in my local and general elections, a right given to me by feminism
- I friends and family have all had successful healthy births they wanted, because feminism fought for maternity rights, they then had maternity leave with pay, thanks to feminism
- I have a house, again thanks to feminism
- I can go to my local GP and get free contraceptives because feminism fought for women to have reproductive rights, no more breeding until you die or your body cant anymore
- My husband cant legally r*pe me
- My husband and father cant just throw me in an asylum when im of no use
- My partner cant beat me with a stick no bogger than his thumb if i 'step out of line'.
- I family cannot cut off my genitalia, it is illegal.
- I can wear what i want, when i want. I can wear as little and as much as i want and i wont be stoned to death, beaten or imprisoned
- My husband cant sell me, neither can my father.
- I can play any sport i want, when i want. I can even compete if im good enough.
- I have my own bank account, something i did not have before feminism
- I can ride a bicyle ( yes that was illegal in America and the UK, and still is in countries like Iran)
- I i can post a letter ( again illegal in the UK and American, because men with fragile egos were worried women would think to much)

so yeah im super happy, i love feminism because its given me rights and freedoms that silly little men with fragile ego dont want me to have, due to their need to be in charge and subjugate people to feed their narcissism
 






kerrichinchilla

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Well jess would ask you if you have data to prove that stay at home wives and mothers were generally unhappy...

The trade off is now most women slave away their lives in the workforce at jobs and careers they dont appreciate like men...
why is it bad that women have jobs? men have full time jobs, or is it more you dont want women to have jobs because then they have the freedoms that comes with it. Before women were able to have money they were condemned to be in marriages because they could not escape
 






justjess

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The real question is do most women in the workforce work in a meaningful career they enjoy or just simply work at a job and does society even help them arrive within a career that they would acctually enjoy? How many women love their jobs and career and if given a choice between this or having the option to live in a time and society where there is a means for them to be stay at home wives and mothers what would they prefer and make them happier? You chose and work in a field you enjoy. Im willing to bet most women dont, but now there is pressure on them to settle with a job just to survive...
I worked my ass off to be able to have a career in a field I love and I am still working my ass off to be able to do so because bachelors degrees are no longer financially viable. I finished my degree despite being a teenage mom raising my baby on my own. I went back for a masters in my 30’s despite having ANOTHER TODDLER, the need to continue working and a family business im responsible for so that I could continue to be professionally fulfilled and financially stable whether with or without my husband.

People make choices in life - Men and women alike. If you aren’t going to put in the work to have more than a job your settling for then I don’t know whether you have a right to complain. Poor people can get grants that pay for college, teenage moms the government will pick up the whole tab, for those who don’t qualify for grants - they don’t check your credit to take out a student loan. There are trade schools and apprentice programs for people who aren’t a fit for college. And yeah it’s a goddamn hustle. It’s hard. It sucks. But if you don’t want a “job you settled for” you suck it up.

Anyhow what does that have to do with feminism? There are a large amount of men working in jobs they settled for as well. This isn’t gender specific.

and no, I don’t need data for @Cintra claim because as I’ve already told you if women were so happy with their lot pre feminism they never would have got on board with it to begin with.

Edit: you talk about your female coworkers and then say women are miserable cuz they are stuck in jobs they had to settle for. Does your job make you miserable? A man? Is it a shitty job? That’s how it seems
 






kerrichinchilla

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I posted this on the other feminism related thread but im going to repost it here, because this guy seriously has issues with women being independent and mostly feminism. Not only that he misrepresents what feminism is to feed his distaste

The basic tenets of feminism is

Feminism: Belief in and desire for equality between the sexes. The belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities." It encompasses social, political and economic equality.

However feminism is an umbrella term for different groups that have splintered off, disagree and yes waves.

the waves of feminism are

First wave or suffrage - the main aim was to give women the vote, however it also encompassed education, the right to practice as doctors ( women were banned), and to a lesser extent black women's rights, including Indian feminists fighting for Indias independence from Britain.

Pros - obviously more freedoms for women such as the vote, legal rights, and the right to own homes, land, and practice as doctors.

Cons - It was prominently a middle class endeavour, there was no enthesis on working class women, and black women were often ignored or outright chased out of suffrage groups as many suffragettes believed in eugenics and the superiority of white women. also the suffragettes also used excessive and violent manners to gain the vote ( not to be confused with the suffragists who did not use violent methods). some cases of suffragettes shaming men for not going to war in WW1

Second wave - came about post WW2. WW2 saw people looking nostalgically to the pre world war era, in the late 19th, early 20th century. In the 1950s people adopted the Victorian ideal of the middle class house wife. This led to a resurgence of feminism in the late 1950s early 1960s. Many girls who had witnessed depressed unfulfilled mothered looked for independence through careers, art music, entertainment ect. plus the introduction of the pill gave women more freedom.
This wave focused on workers rights, especially women's rights in the work place which were non-existent, while also focusing on an industry which was using women's bodies for entertainment ( beauty pageants, advertising, film).
Its worth noting women never did burn bras that is a myth, some women did try and get a permit to burn aprons as a form of protest but were denied so it never happened.
Its also worth noting first wave feminists did not like second wave feminism because they felt it was to loose

Pros - more worker rights not just for women but for men, the introduction of maternity leave, health and safety laws ect. Women had more freedom to earn money. The had more freedoms to enjoy relations, were not condemned to breed or to rely on husbands.

cons - again a working class movement, did not focus on working class women or black women who were both groups that already worked,often in low paid jobs. Focused on forcing women into being anti-beauty which led to anti-choices for women, including women being condemned for choosing housewifery. Started to drift into man hating territory, instead of equality.

womanism - not technically a wave but worth noting, it was created by black women who were fed up with being ignored or not being included in the second wave of feminism. tends to go along with the black panther movement, however even the black panthers and womanism movement clashed due to the black panthers sexist tendencies

Third wave - this is the most confused or misrepresented and is probably the most controversial.
Third wave feminism is known for its emphasis on intersectionality. the term was introduced by Kimberlé Williams Crenshaw in 1989, to explain how people experience multiple layers of prejudice due to a number of reasons, such as race, sex, disabilities, sexual orientation. for example a person who is a black disabled woman will experience prejudice for being black, female and disabled, while an able bodied white woman would only experience sexism. This form of feminism is the most controversial due to its push against what third wavers term as white feminism ( second wave).
It also focuses on body positivity, such as women enjoying sex, and a focus on being the same as men.
End of Genders, with a focus on androgynous looks.

Pros - led to women gaining the right to own their own bank accounts, loans and mortgages without their husbands or fathers permission, also led to the end of marital r*pe being legal

Cons - intersectionality led to many women feeling alienated from feminism, many women did not feel welcome or happy with the movement. The focus on women being the same as men also alienated many women from the movement. girl power, ladette culture ect put many off feminism

Fourth wave - Fourth wave is reality new, first coming into the fold around 2016. Fourth wave is probably more controversial than third wave and is often confused with third wave due to its infancy. in fact it has split into two factions.

1 - liberal feminism - an extension of intersectionality, leading to trans women being included into feminism. Focus on seeing sex work as good and healthy, enthesis on sexuality, LGBT and trans rights. tends to ignore traditional or women's rights due to the obsession with trans issues. More like a fundamental religious movement

2 - radical feminism - takes there ideals from second wave. believes trans women are not welcome and is fighting to stop the inclusion of LGBT rights being confused with women's rights. spends exorbitant amounts of time on fighting trans ideology and inclusion. fights sex work seeing it as exploitation. believes women should be able to chose their destiny eg housewife, childfree, career or a mix

pros - to early to determine

cons - to much infighting. libfems - focus to much on trans rights, also the emphasis pushing sexual deviancy. has become a gay rights movement. radfems - lots of in fighting, some times zealous.

misandry - worth noting as some feminist groups are anti male, and isolationist, but not all feel this way and this is a misrepresentation


hopefully this helps some people gather an idea on what feminism is
 






kerrichinchilla

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I worked my ass off to be able to have a career in a field I love and I am still working my ass off to be able to do so because bachelors degrees are no longer financially viable. I finished my degree despite being a teenage mom raising my baby on my own. I went back for a masters in my 30’s despite having ANOTHER TODDLER, the need to continue working and a family business im responsible for so that I could continue to be professionally fulfilled and financially stable whether with or without my husband.

People make choices in life - Men and women alike. If you aren’t going to put in the work to have more than a job your settling for then I don’t know whether you have a right to complain. Poor people can get grants that pay for college, teenage moms the government will pick up the whole tab, for those who don’t qualify for grants - they don’t check your credit to take out a student loan. There are trade schools and apprentice programs for people who aren’t a fit for college. And yeah it’s a goddamn hustle. It’s hard. It sucks. But if you don’t want a “job you settled for” you suck it up.

Anyhow what does that have to do with feminism? There are a large amount of men working in jobs they settled for as well. This isn’t gender specific.

and no, I don’t need data for @Cintra claim because as I’ve already told you if women were so happy with their lot pre feminism they never would have got on board with it to begin with.

Edit: you talk about your female coworkers and then say women are miserable cuz they are stuck in jobs they had to settle for. Does your job make you miserable? A man? Is it a shitty job? That’s how it seems
first off you rock.

second, Valium or mothers little helper. Women had to literally drug themselves up to get through the day, because life as a housewife was so depressing

to match that, if women were so happy why did Mary Wolfstonecraft write the vindication of women, why did women create feminism at all? this guys just upset he cant control women.

mothers little helper
 






kerrichinchilla

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There wasnt that pressure before feminism...
What pressure?

Before feminism women were to busy dying from child birth, husbands and fathers beating them to death, prostitution due to husbands abandoning them, workhouses, famine, and keeping their children alive.

wasnt the past so awesome
 






justjess

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first off you rock.

second, Valium or mothers little helper. Women had to literally drug themselves up to get through the day, because life as a housewife was so depressing

to match that, if women were so happy why did Mary Wolfstonecraft write the vindication of women, why did women create feminism at all? this guys just upset he cant control women.

mothers little helper
I have been home 24/7 with my almost three year old, my teenager, and my puppy for like three weeks now. I don’t drink but wine is becoming extremely attractive lately. There is no pause button on a toddler or a puppy and teenage boys NEVER stop talking. I love all three of them but if this closure drags on for much longer I’m going to move myself into the basement office and pretend I’m at work while my son babysits for atleast a couple hours a day.

if women were happy pre feminism they would never have signed on to it. I don’t know how many times I have to repeat that for some people to process it. I think men don’t really like working and project their own shit on to us but I can tell you my husband stayed home for a couple months with our kids while I worked cuz he had got laid off... and he was going crazy, couldn’t wait to go back to work and ended up taking a job washing dishes a couple nights just to get out of the house. Staying home isn’t as great as it seems.
 






Cintra

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Well jess would ask you if you have data to prove that stay at home wives and mothers were generally unhappy...

The trade off is now most women slave away their lives in the workforce at jobs and careers they dont appreciate like men...
Its about choice and autonomy.
 






Lyfe

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why is it bad that women have jobs? men have full time jobs, or is it more you dont want women to have jobs because then they have the freedoms that comes with it. Before women were able to have money they were condemned to be in marriages because they could not escape
The problem is that opposition to feminism is reduced and attributed to male insecurity... That faulty presumption seems to be preprogrammed into every feminist i have encountered to fuel their crusade and keep them from considering any objectivity. Objectivity that keeps them from consisering any negative impact its had on elements in society and way of life... Many are proud... Honestly if a woman wants to work then that is her preference, it makes no difference to me if a woman or a man does my taxes at hnr block or a woman or a man hands me money at the bank....

Modern women have been alienated by feminist propoganda for about a whole generation now which is how long it takes to effectively change or revolutionize a society. They dont know any different so they have a right to know whether or not they have been sold a bill of goods that negatively influence or undermine them in any way...
 






kerrichinchilla

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I have been home 24/7 with my almost three year old, my teenager, and my puppy for like three weeks now. I don’t drink but wine is becoming extremely attractive lately. There is no pause button on a toddler or a puppy and teenage boys NEVER stop talking. I love all three of them but if this closure drags on for much longer I’m going to move myself into the basement office and pretend I’m at work while my son babysits for atleast a couple hours a day.

if women were happy pre feminism they would never have signed on to it. I don’t know how many times I have to repeat that for some people to process it. I think men don’t really like working and project their own shit on to us but I can tell you my husband stayed home for a couple months with our kids while I worked cuz he had got laid off... and he was going crazy, couldn’t wait to go back to work and ended up taking a job washing dishes a couple nights just to get out of the house. Staying home isn’t as great as it seems.
I dont have kids but Ive spent the last 12 months at home and im ripping my hair out, i hate it.

They are projecting their insecurities on to feminism, its clear he just has a bee in his bonnet over feminism. There were a few women during the first wave of feminism who were anti feminism but its the same as today its always on religious grounds why they hate feminism and ignorance. Some people have a warped sense of what feminism is, for one the argument that feminism wants to get rid of the family unit or ban women from being stay at home mothers. no feminism wants to give women the choice. Like you and me have taken different paths but they suit us.
 






kerrichinchilla

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Messages
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The problem is that opposition to feminism is reduced and attributed to male insecurity... That faulty presumption seems to be preprogrammed into every feminist i have encountered to fuel their crusade and keep them from considering any objectivity. Objectivity that keeps them from consisering any negative impact its had on elements in society and way of life... Many are proud... Honestly if a woman wants to work then that is her preference, it makes no difference to me if a woman or a man does my taxes at hnr block or a woman or a man hands me money at the bank....

Modern women have been alienated by feminist propoganda for about a whole generation now which is how long it takes to effectively change or revolutionize a society. They dont know any different so they have a right to know whether or not they have been sold a bill of goods that negatively influence or undermine them in any way...
you dont need feminism to know your insecure about women being free, it oozes from your comments and misinformation, the fact your hypercritical, moaning about women working dead end jobs but men work the same jobs, so why are you not concerned about men doing these same jobs? someone has to do them
 






Lyfe

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you dont need feminism to know your insecure about women being free, it oozes from your comments and misinformation, the fact your hypercritical, moaning about women working dead end jobs but men work the same jobs, so why are you not concerned about men doing these same jobs? someone has to do them
You are the one making this personal about me and not the information. If thats not insecurity idk what is. Juat sayin...
 






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