Loki
Established
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2017
- Messages
- 401
As a kid I had a few weird recurring dreams, one involving aliens, another involving snakes, and the others I'm blanking on at this point. As an adult I can't say I have many recurring dreams, if any. For the past two years or so I've been a habitual pot smoker, and while I still had dreams most nights (many say that habitual smokers don't have dreams but I never found that to be true for me), I rarely ever remembered them past the morning after.
I've recently stopped smoking to kind of reset myself. I plan to take at least a month off, maybe more, and then only smoke on weekends hopefully, rather than every day pretty much. I believe a withdrawal symptom of quitting marijuana is having more vivid dreams, and specifically vivid nightmares. Very rarely do I have nightmares in my adult life, but this week I had one that has stuck with me. The weirdest part was that I didn't know it was a nightmare until I screamed in the dream and then (according to my fiancee) made an odd sound she thought was our dog dreaming, but was actually me, and I just laid there breathing heavily covered in sweat. No part of the dream was inherently scary, but I was unable to sleep afterward. Luckily it woke me up at about 4:40 and I get up at 5:30 for the gym so it wasn't a terrible inconvenience.
A little backstory for those who may not know: Recently my grandmother's house where my uncle and cousin were living caught fire while my uncle was at church. Both my grandma and cousin passed away due to smoke inhalation, but neither were badly burned or likely suffered much at all. The downstairs kitchen was where it started and it burned through the ceiling into my cousin's bedroom (he wasn't in bed), the rest of the house was mostly unburnt but ruined from smoke and heat damage obviously.
Anyway, here is the dream (Names changed for privacy reasons): It started, weirdly enough, at a dream version of my work and my older cousin (not the one who passed away) was there with me talking to some man I've never met about our diets. I don't remember the details well, but by the end of the conversation I had gone into the work kitchen and taken a pizza with piles of pepperonis on it out of the oven (we don't have an oven at work, but whatever) and we ate it in front of him. Anyway, after our insulting lunch break with that guy I decided it was time to go home so I go outside and the outside of my work was more like my high school's campus/parking lot for whatever reason. Anyway, I get in my car with my older cousin and we begin to leave but he points to this guy walking around an adjacent building who he says looks just like my deceased cousin Jim. I can't see from the distance we are at so I take the car around the building and drive by the guy, and it does look just like Jim, like eerily so, but of course I knew it couldn't be because Jim was dead. As we pass him, the Jim-looking fellow looks directly at me and seems to recognize me. His eyes were even just like Jim's, so I kind of freak out and stop the car to get out and talk to him, not really sure why but I do. He doesn't seem to know why he knows me, but he does know me somehow.
So, as dreams do, suddenly we weren't there anymore, we were at my grandma's old house, but the downstairs had been reverted back to how it used to look, while the upstairs was still black with smoke. In my dream head I thought that they had cleaned and remodeled it, not realizing it was exactly as it used to be. My uncle Paul, Jim's dad, was there with us, but my other cousin wasn't. Paul seemed completely fine with his son being back from the dead and as we talked Jim began to remember that he did know us and who he was, but he had troubled accepting that he'd died and somehow come back and eventually fled the house. Oh, and for some reason Jim was now bald (my uncle has been bald my entire life, so maybe that was why, I don't know Jim had never ever shaved his head, only buzzed it short). So, realizing myself that maybe this was our Jim somehow, and just overwhelmed with relief to have him back and to be able to touch him and talk to him and hug him, I run after him. The neighborhood around my grandma's house was completely different than how it should be, but it seemed normal to me in the dream and once I caught up to him and hugged him we just began to walk around it and talk like we used to while walking my dog together. I caught him up on everything that had happened and talked about how happy I was to have him back, etc. While we walked his hair began to grow back, slowly at first, but by the time we were back to my grandma's it was long like he used to like to wear it (pretty much down to the middle of his back at one point in his life, my fiancee and I had cut it at his request a month or so before he passed). As we approached my grandma's I noticed that the stairs leading to the second floor (which were visible from the open front door) were no longer blackened with smoke and I found this odd, so with Jim behind me I began walking slowly up the stairway. As I reached the landing I first looked left where my uncle's room had been and the door was closed and perfect. I then looked slowly to my right where my Jim's room had been (no door on this room) and found that it was also restored, his bed in the corner, the air conditioner in the window, no hole in the floor... As my eyes continued scanning the room I realized that there was a computer desk in the corner closest to me and that soemone was sitting at it. I looked at them for a moment, not understanding who it could be. They turned around as I watched them, perhaps feeling my gaze, and smiled at me. It was Jim, but he was around 16 years old again and chubby like he had been, he just smiled and I screamed bloody murder. That's when I woke up.
Weirdest nightmare ever.
I've had other dreams about Jim since his passing, most were shortly after it and involved just seeing him, or being with him and hugging him or my grandma. Some he knew he was dead, others he didn't, and some only I could see him and in others everyone could. None before this one had left me scared or panicked, and I honestly have no idea why this one did.
I've recently stopped smoking to kind of reset myself. I plan to take at least a month off, maybe more, and then only smoke on weekends hopefully, rather than every day pretty much. I believe a withdrawal symptom of quitting marijuana is having more vivid dreams, and specifically vivid nightmares. Very rarely do I have nightmares in my adult life, but this week I had one that has stuck with me. The weirdest part was that I didn't know it was a nightmare until I screamed in the dream and then (according to my fiancee) made an odd sound she thought was our dog dreaming, but was actually me, and I just laid there breathing heavily covered in sweat. No part of the dream was inherently scary, but I was unable to sleep afterward. Luckily it woke me up at about 4:40 and I get up at 5:30 for the gym so it wasn't a terrible inconvenience.
A little backstory for those who may not know: Recently my grandmother's house where my uncle and cousin were living caught fire while my uncle was at church. Both my grandma and cousin passed away due to smoke inhalation, but neither were badly burned or likely suffered much at all. The downstairs kitchen was where it started and it burned through the ceiling into my cousin's bedroom (he wasn't in bed), the rest of the house was mostly unburnt but ruined from smoke and heat damage obviously.
Anyway, here is the dream (Names changed for privacy reasons): It started, weirdly enough, at a dream version of my work and my older cousin (not the one who passed away) was there with me talking to some man I've never met about our diets. I don't remember the details well, but by the end of the conversation I had gone into the work kitchen and taken a pizza with piles of pepperonis on it out of the oven (we don't have an oven at work, but whatever) and we ate it in front of him. Anyway, after our insulting lunch break with that guy I decided it was time to go home so I go outside and the outside of my work was more like my high school's campus/parking lot for whatever reason. Anyway, I get in my car with my older cousin and we begin to leave but he points to this guy walking around an adjacent building who he says looks just like my deceased cousin Jim. I can't see from the distance we are at so I take the car around the building and drive by the guy, and it does look just like Jim, like eerily so, but of course I knew it couldn't be because Jim was dead. As we pass him, the Jim-looking fellow looks directly at me and seems to recognize me. His eyes were even just like Jim's, so I kind of freak out and stop the car to get out and talk to him, not really sure why but I do. He doesn't seem to know why he knows me, but he does know me somehow.
So, as dreams do, suddenly we weren't there anymore, we were at my grandma's old house, but the downstairs had been reverted back to how it used to look, while the upstairs was still black with smoke. In my dream head I thought that they had cleaned and remodeled it, not realizing it was exactly as it used to be. My uncle Paul, Jim's dad, was there with us, but my other cousin wasn't. Paul seemed completely fine with his son being back from the dead and as we talked Jim began to remember that he did know us and who he was, but he had troubled accepting that he'd died and somehow come back and eventually fled the house. Oh, and for some reason Jim was now bald (my uncle has been bald my entire life, so maybe that was why, I don't know Jim had never ever shaved his head, only buzzed it short). So, realizing myself that maybe this was our Jim somehow, and just overwhelmed with relief to have him back and to be able to touch him and talk to him and hug him, I run after him. The neighborhood around my grandma's house was completely different than how it should be, but it seemed normal to me in the dream and once I caught up to him and hugged him we just began to walk around it and talk like we used to while walking my dog together. I caught him up on everything that had happened and talked about how happy I was to have him back, etc. While we walked his hair began to grow back, slowly at first, but by the time we were back to my grandma's it was long like he used to like to wear it (pretty much down to the middle of his back at one point in his life, my fiancee and I had cut it at his request a month or so before he passed). As we approached my grandma's I noticed that the stairs leading to the second floor (which were visible from the open front door) were no longer blackened with smoke and I found this odd, so with Jim behind me I began walking slowly up the stairway. As I reached the landing I first looked left where my uncle's room had been and the door was closed and perfect. I then looked slowly to my right where my Jim's room had been (no door on this room) and found that it was also restored, his bed in the corner, the air conditioner in the window, no hole in the floor... As my eyes continued scanning the room I realized that there was a computer desk in the corner closest to me and that soemone was sitting at it. I looked at them for a moment, not understanding who it could be. They turned around as I watched them, perhaps feeling my gaze, and smiled at me. It was Jim, but he was around 16 years old again and chubby like he had been, he just smiled and I screamed bloody murder. That's when I woke up.
Weirdest nightmare ever.
I've had other dreams about Jim since his passing, most were shortly after it and involved just seeing him, or being with him and hugging him or my grandma. Some he knew he was dead, others he didn't, and some only I could see him and in others everyone could. None before this one had left me scared or panicked, and I honestly have no idea why this one did.