Double standard and slut-shaming

morita

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Omg!
30 is "old"!?
Hahahaha!
Showing your age, dear. :D
You talked about young people partaking in casual sex, taking selfies and being obessed with their appearance.
I responded, 30 is the time where people stop doing that and will eventually move on to something else because they realize their looks are going to fade.
I didn't say 30 was old, rather that it's the time where people start to settle and try to get their life together and won't engage in the same shticks as in their 20s
 
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The researchers recruited 4,455 participants via Amazon's Mechanical Turk website who were told they would take part in a study into their "perceptions of others." The team restricted participation to people ages 18 to 35, reasoning that the sexual double standard—in which men are rewarded for sexual activity, while women are punished—would be particularly relevant for young adults.
Each participant was directed "to think about either one male or one female friend or acquaintance whom they (a) knew in their real life, and (b) had information about their sexual history."
Subjects then responded to 20 statements about this person, which evaluated them in terms of their values, success, intelligence, and likability.

Finally, they described the nature of their relationship with the person they were evaluating, and noted "how many people they thought the target individual had engaged in sexual intercourse with."
The results showed a clear pattern. Women were "increasingly derogated as the number of sexual partners increased," but men were not. This pattern held whether the people doing the judging were male or female.

"The sexual double standard was more pronounced as participants' certainty about the target's number of sexual partners increased," the researchers report. Still, the impact of this confidence was very small, meaning that women were judged more harshly even if the participants were relying on rumors or speculation.



Thoughts?
Why not slut shame male sluts instead of justifying women who compete with men in a slut contest?
 

morita

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@morita where is all this man hate coming from? You can't even think straight because of all your hate.
You don't even know what the fuck patriarchy means yet harping on and on about it. Just because you're too slow to hold two thoughts at the same time doesn't mean someone else can't think straight. It's just too complex for your brain capacity.
If you think patriarchy is that bad, then why don't you do something to end it. Because from where I'm sitting, there aren't enough women who are willing to chose freedom over oppression and build their own society(or at least not this generation) And marriage IS a patriarchal institution, so it doesn't matter if a woman marries a man who earns less or earns more it's still a transaction and a woman still get societal validation from her married statues. If we follow your logic, then married woman should never be able to speak out against patriarchy and its damaging effects? In the same vein, should black people not use the word nigga? It's only up to them to decide. Just like as an oppressor, you don't get to tell the oppressed how they should navigate the system that YOU and your brethren created for your benefits and to women's detriment. I'm pretty sure you're anti-feminist too. People like you are just interested in proving someone wrong and putting them down, not real discussion. Then, I didn't even say I wanted to marry a man who earns more or a any man at all. Unless you find the exact post and can quote it. It's not about me. What I was pointing out was how comically useless men have become since women have the ability to earn a living nowadays. I wasn't talking about my own experience but about men as a whole. Try and engage people without projecting your own thoughts and own ignorance next time, thanks.
 
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Kung Fu

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You don't even know what the fuck patriarchy means yet harping on and on about it. Just because you're too slow to hold two thoughts at the same time doesn't mean someone else can't think straight. It's just too complex for your brain capacity.
If you think patriarchy is that bad, then why don't you do something to end it. Because from where I'm sitting, there aren't enough women who are willing to chose freedom over oppression and build their own society(or at least not this generation) And marriage IS a patriarchal institution, so it doesn't matter if a woman marries a man who earns less or earns more it's still a transaction and a woman still get societal validation from her married statues. If we follow your logic, then married woman should never be able to speak out against patriarchy and its damaging effects? In the same vein, should black people not use the word nigga? It's only up to them to decide. Just like as an oppressor, you don't get to tell the oppressed how they should navigate the system that YOU and your brethren created for your benefits and to women's detriment. I'm pretty sure you're anti-feminist too. People like you are just interested in proving someone wrong and putting them down, not real discussion. Then, I didn't even say I wanted to marry a man who earns more or a any man at all. Unless you find the exact post and can quote it. It's not about me. What I was pointing out was how comically useless men have become since women have the ability to earn a living nowadays. I wasn't talking about my own experience but about men as a whole. Try and engage people without projecting your own thoughts and own ignorance next time, thanks.
You sound like you're 12 years old.

With the attitude you hold you'll be alone for the rest of your life. Soften up a little. Life will get better.

When you can have a proper discussion and start acting a like a human than come back and we discuss this further so I can continue to expose your hypocrisy :)
 
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You don't even know what the fuck patriarchy means yet harping on and on about it. Just because you're too slow to hold two thoughts at the same time doesn't mean someone else can't think straight. It's just too complex for your brain capacity.
If you think patriarchy is that bad, then why don't you do something to end it. Because from where I'm sitting, there aren't enough women who are willing to chose freedom over oppression and build their own society(or at least not this generation) And marriage IS a patriarchal institution, so it doesn't matter if a woman marries a man who earns less or earns more it's still a transaction and a woman still get societal validation from her married statues. If we follow your logic, then married woman should never be able to speak out against patriarchy and its damaging effects? In the same vein, should black people not use the word nigga? It's only up to them to decide. Just like as an oppressor, you don't get to tell the oppressed how they should navigate the system that YOU and your brethren created for your benefits and to women's detriment. I'm pretty sure you're anti-feminist too. People like you are just interested in proving someone wrong and putting them down, not real discussion. Then, I didn't even say I wanted to marry a man who earns more or a any man at all. Unless you find the exact post and can quote it. It's not about me. What I was pointing out was how comically useless men have become since women have the ability to earn a living nowadays. I wasn't talking about my own experience but about men as a whole. Try and engage people without projecting your own thoughts and own ignorance next time, thanks.
Here’s a thought. Women prefer patriarchy. What is typically associated with a patriarch? Leadership, confidence, wisdom, decisiveness, strength. Everything normal women (ie. not brainwashed by feminism) find lacking in the oversupply of feminised men today. Your rhetoric, and feminist philosophy in general, make women hate masculinity when it’s masculinity they desire most. So you end up with women who get frustrated and real men not giving a f*ck.
 
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Kung Fu

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Here’s a thought. Women prefer patriarchy. What is typically associated with a patriarch? Leadership, confidence, wisdom, decisiveness, strength. Everything normal women (ie. not brainwashed by feminism) find lacking in the oversupply of feminised men today. Your rhetoric, and feminist philosophy in general, make women (again, normal women, not women like you) hate masculinity when it’s masculinity they desire most. So you end up with women who get frustrated and men not giving a f*ck.
In her other thread she was advising women should get with men that make more but at the same time hates the patriarchy and all the other talking points that comes with it like the wage gap.
 
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In her other thread she was advising women should get with men that make more but at the same time hates the patriarchy and all the other talking points that comes with it like the wage gap.
Progressives bathe in contradictions. They want equal pay but they are hypergamous. Studies have shown 90% of women leave their man after they make more money, meaning they drastically deflate the dating pool for themselves.
 

morita

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12? You’re pretty generous. I have a 10-year-old who is more mature. He is a boy, though, so...

The thing that cracks me up about over-the-top feminists is that they choose to be miserable and enraged and live their day-to-day lives in that way. There is so much more out there to be joyous about. I’m thankful for men, thankful for my husband, thankful for the men I am raising. I’m raising them to do all they can to run far, far away from feminists, for their own good and the good of their children. ❤
lol I hope you get that well-earned male validation. Thanks for showing your internalized misogyny.
 
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Maes17

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My impression is that many of her threads are bait threads.
You show up out of curiosity, but then stay for the laughs...
Perhaps her intent is to gather opinions, but she gets defensive and uses the good old tactic of personal attack, as soon as cracks are seen in her argument.

ETA: this thread will probably be "closed" soon, too.
Thread locked in 5,4,3,2....





Let this thread be a reminder for those of us in healthy relationships and have sons. We have to deal with sickos like this who blame men for everything.

Men and women do exist in harmony. There will always be psycho to challenge that cause they lack something in life
 

rainerann

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You don't even know what the fuck patriarchy means yet harping on and on about it. Just because you're too slow to hold two thoughts at the same time doesn't mean someone else can't think straight. It's just too complex for your brain capacity.
If you think patriarchy is that bad, then why don't you do something to end it. Because from where I'm sitting, there aren't enough women who are willing to chose freedom over oppression and build their own society(or at least not this generation) And marriage IS a patriarchal institution, so it doesn't matter if a woman marries a man who earns less or earns more it's still a transaction and a woman still get societal validation from her married statues. If we follow your logic, then married woman should never be able to speak out against patriarchy and its damaging effects? In the same vein, should black people not use the word nigga? It's only up to them to decide. Just like as an oppressor, you don't get to tell the oppressed how they should navigate the system that YOU and your brethren created for your benefits and to women's detriment. I'm pretty sure you're anti-feminist too. People like you are just interested in proving someone wrong and putting them down, not real discussion. Then, I didn't even say I wanted to marry a man who earns more or a any man at all. Unless you find the exact post and can quote it. It's not about me. What I was pointing out was how comically useless men have become since women have the ability to earn a living nowadays. I wasn't talking about my own experience but about men as a whole. Try and engage people without projecting your own thoughts and own ignorance next time, thanks.
I have to agree with some of the things you are saying here. I do think marriage and monogamy is more about protecting women from being mistreated economically in a patriarchal society than something that is preferable as a rule.

getting married means that there are financial attachments, which a woman would otherwise depend on if she couldn’t make her own income. That is what happens with polygamous relationships. The more women a man marries, the more likely a women is to be reduced to poverty when a new wife is introduced.

but if men are encouraged to marry someone in a monogamous relationship, a woman is protected from the financial effects multiple partners created for women. We glamorize marriage for women with ideas of Prince Charming, and soul mates, but the reality is that all relationships will run their course at some point and marriage is more about economic protection for women than anything else.

relationships with parents run their course at some point. Close friends from school fall out of touch at some point. A spouse can die and a person can remarry, so there is no such thing as true monogamy through marriage anyways.

The most offensive part of a man having multiple partners is that a woman can’t do the same really. There is nothing wrong with a woman having more than one relationship.

but it will probably take another hundred years of women being able to find financial independence for people to see that a lot of the way we view relationships are because of the way women have been disadvantaged throughout history.

I don’t really think our idea of marriage is something that has any real permanence in the future. What we should focus on more is consent. Like just because someone wants to be with more than partner doesn’t mean that their partner has to give consent for this. I don’t think there is more freedom in relationships outside of marriage. There are still boundaries that are defined by whether the person you are in a relationship with, gives consent for the way you want to approach a relationship.

sexual consent should be the priority because it is where issues like jealousy and other things are going to come in. People struggle with the notion that relationships run their course for some part of their lives. It can be shocking because of where we are in the process of understanding attachments made through sex, but it is a reality.

and this idea that there is some greater degree of permanence that we can force onto our relationships through marriage is a patriarchal notion that is not altogether harmful to women historically because of limited economic options for women. It is just not necessary for a woman to only consider this option when she is given more economic options.

so there is a real argument that women struggle to gain economic opportunities because men lose their advantage over relationships when this happens. Marriage is really a crap institution patriarchal or not when you look at how many people commit adultery.

adultery indicates that a relationship has run its course in some respect, but we force people to ignore this reality as though it were something morally superior rather than a somewhat practical way to create equality between men and women as a result of legitimate hardships that exist in life.

side note: someone might be thinking that what I’m saying is something liberal and influenced by communists. I know this because I have read about the wife swapping in the Soviet Union when I have commented on communism as a detrimental ideology before.

but not every new idea stems from a preexisting ideology. This effort to share wives during communism doesn’t have anything to do with the legitimate economic disadvantages that women have suffered for thousands of years in almost every culture throughout history.

marriage creates a sort of equality, but is the best way to achieve equality? I don’t think it is. I think it is a temporary solution and there is never going to be a better solution until people stop romanticizing marriage as something that is capable of being semi permanent. There are few realities that consistently exist within the romanticized narrative of marriage. it is basically an illusion, but I really think this illusion is of little consequence to a man to change. It essentially doesn’t make anything better or worse for them to change, so it isn’t real for them the same that having the right for women to vote was also a take it or leave it situation.

and I have been married. I have spent a lot of time thinking about marriage and I don’t think I would ever do it again. It seems like something that was part of being younger and adopting an idea that was given to me and preexisting rather than mine to begin with. I get along with the person I was married to and am fully capable of trying to pursue something like this in the future. None of these things would be factors someone could stereotype me with because I have formed this opinion At this point in my life. I’m never going to be some kind of spinster hating men and the idea of marriage because I can’t find a date before anyone tries to come at me with some crap like that.

well I think I have covered most of my bases at this point, so I will stop.

tldr: I don’t give a f*** if this was too long for you. Don’t read it and move on for all I care. ;)
 
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3 points:

Chess is a crap game if you look at how many players suck at it, is the same reasoning.

It’s a common mistake in my opinion to regard marriage as principally intended for the wedded couple as some ceremonial public affirmation of their unique mutual affection, or that it is in the interest of one sex specifically, while it’s actually about child-rearing. It is generally beneficial for children and by extension society at large to keep the nuclear family intact. If the institution of marriage has become so detrimental to women because the financial incentives are a thing of the past, one needs to investigate more closely why it is that men are in record numbers refusing to get married nowadays.

And adultery is by no means an indication of a relationship’s end rather than a partner’s deficient understanding that a couple needs stabilisation beyond the passionate, sexual attraction, butterfly phase, and that it requires sacrifice, among them not indulging in physical appetites that betray the sacred bond established before God, or the trust of the spouse, for the sake of the family (if kids are involved). When no kids are involved, I suppose it’s a different story, but the lack of children or a lack of desire for them wouldn’t necessary elicit the need of subscribing to the institution of marriage in the first place. Let the childfree be hedonists. It’s not they who shape the world for the better. It’s those who have investment in the future beyond their own lives who do.
 

rainerann

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I really think you need to reconsider your position on adultery. We tend to prejudge people who commit adultery to be lying or some sort of pariah. But Maybe the problem is not that there is a deficit in the relationship, but that the relationship is actually defined by the butterfly phase. When this passes, in many cases, the relationship has run its course.

the same reason that there is something natural about the way I would love my baby and why I would love my baby that are specific to this type of relationship. A relationship with a sexual partner is naturally created by sexual attraction. When this is gone, the relationship has, in most cases, run its course. Just like my sweet little baby and the way I used to interact with this baby has changed and ended in many ways as they become older.

rather than forcing the idea that this is something deficient that can be fixed through changing behaviors or partners, it is okay to realize that a relationship will come to an end at some point. We don’t have to depend on the idea that if we get married, we have found greater success in relationships.

where children are concerned, the idea of consent comes in because you are basically consenting to have a relationship with the person you have children with for an extended period of time. However, this still does not have to be defined within marriage for this to be considered a success.

And where you would say that men are opposing the idea of being married more and more. I would say this makes sense and who cares really. As I said, implementing marriage as a way of creating some degree of equal treatment for men and women is a somewhat effective approach considering this reality.

the problem that exists is that it is in no way the best solution or the only solution. Things can and should be so much better than they are, and it is a characteristic of a patriarchal culture.
 
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And where you would say that men are opposing the idea of being married more and more. I would say this makes sense and who cares really.
Women do.

Especially those who have pursued more sexually liberal lifestyles during their prime years, to find the dating market of eligible potential husbands shrinking and their quality decreasing by the time they decide to settle down.

A question:

Would you, or do you believe wives or husbands should, prioritise the pursuit of the butterflies over the stability of the family when there are kids involved?
 

rainerann

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Women do.

Especially those who have pursued more sexually liberal lifestyles during their prime years, to find the dating market of eligible potential husbands shrinking and their quality decreasing by the time they decide to settle down.

A question:

Would you, or do you believe wives or husbands should, prioritise the pursuit of the butterflies over the stability of the family when there are kids involved?
well going from being sexually liberal to sexually frustrated because they feel like they missed their opportunity to have a family is a stereotype that does not create a rule of thumb. Not all women regret this and many of them probably do pursue marriage at some point because going from one extreme to the other was a way for them to understand their own experience of forming sexual attachments.

you say these stages in this order to imply that a woman is automatically more satisfied with the latter realization that they should pursue marriage as well. This is not always the case. This has definitely not been my personal experience. It is actually the opposite. I wish I had kept some of my more liberal views in my marriage rather than thinking they needed to be banished because of this illusory picture of married behavior that would indicate I had succeeded as far as sexual relationships go.

I have been somewhat sexually liberal. I have been married. I also have kids and I look at all of these phases of my life as being dependent on my consent to these situations that I have found myself in. All three of these scenarios is where I derive the importance of consent over the importance of defining myself within the constraints of marriage as it seems to have existed as a protection when women were not allowed economic independence.

However, they were also not allowed to work outside the home in most cases too. So women are being protected from the financial hardships that would exist because the patriarchal culture does not allow them to pursue their own economic independence. So it is really a rock and a hard place which is the best way I can think to describe being a woman living in a culture that has inherited these standards of social behavior.

your question is also difficult to answer because it exists within an ethical discussion of this same institution rather than an experience with something new to serve as compassion. I know I did personally prioritize my marriage and children over the pursuit of butterflies, but this is because I consented to put myself out there to get married and have children. I feel like I chose to pursue activities in life where some aspects of pursuing sex would be inappropriate, so the pursuit of butterflies was not a priority based on choices I had made.

I don’t know how to define what people should do without marriage in a more generalized way that your question seems to expect. Maybe if you could rephrase the question somehow, or not. Whichever is fine.
 

Aazaad

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Double standards = bad
Slut "shaming" = completely ok,
And the reason is, women give birth, and them having multiple sex partners complicates things, while with men, it doesn't, and no that doesn't make it acceptable, just less of a mess.
 
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With good reason. it’s just to let men know which are keepers and which are passers. no smart man wants the pass around for anything other than sex, and after she’s had so many partners, a smart man doesn’t even want that from her. too much emotional damage, increased std risks, and the nightmare that would be getting them pregnant.

yea yea yea, I know misogyny this, standard canned insult that. I don’t care about any of that.
 
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