Double standard and slut-shaming

morita

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Maybe...... looks aside... pretty or ugly or handsome or hideous...I think a lot of promiscuity stems from poor self esteem.
The promise of excitement and fulfillment drives a person to pursue that "high" if you will.
Pretty sure its also a classical addiction.
Welcome to ideas...any one? Bueller?
Any addiction counselors in the house?
The reasons someone sleeps around shouldn't matter to anyone other than themselves. Painting anyone who sleeps around as inevitably "lost" and as needing to be saved (in many cases they don't) IS still a form of shaming.

I also dgaf what people do behind closed doors (with consenting adults).
I'm not condemning anyone, per se.
Weren't you the one who was talking about sexually transmitted demons?? You're still slut-shaming regardless.
 






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morita

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And I will add that for women slut-shaming also comes in the form of people assuming we're promiscuous if we wear a revealing outfit which doesn't happen to men, and as a result we're treated with less respect.

No one will assume they can guess the number of sexual partners that men had based on their clothing and it doesn't affect the way they're treated. There is still this idea that a woman's value is based on her modesty and her chastity.
 






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@morita yes, lol.
I mentioned the demons. :D (verdict still out on that, one)

While it may be true that not all scantily clad women are sluts, it still doesn't send out a good message to people.
What it says is "look at me, I'm sexy, but you need to respect me for my mind, too". ???
Oh, ok. Sure. Mixed messages, much??
You can't tell me the difference of experience when observing a person dressed in their Sunday best vs Friday night, attire?
Whether dressed in revealing clothing or not, ones appearance and clothing choice does impact how society will treat them. There is a reason that there are dress codes enforced at higher end establishments. If they wanted people to show up in their pajamas, or Victoria's secret lingerie, there would be no dress code.
I don't care how people dress, but I will judge. People judge other people no matter what they do anyway, its inevitable and impossible to avoid.
Perhaps there is an element of jealousy to those who harshly judge others based off their clothing and sexual experience ? Or perhaps, they just know better?
Do what you please, I just think eventually one will find themselves hitting a wall with finding their own intrinsic value (and self esteem/worth). It may not be tomorrow, but maybe decades ahead, in the future.
Also, I have no idea of the ages of posters in here, but if you are under 30, of course you would see a problem with anything I'm suggesting. Come back at me when you reach your 40s+. Life changes. Priorities do too. Obsession with ones appearance and sexual prowess fades, as you age. That's generally a young person's game.
Hypothetical situation. So you see a 60 year old woman, clearly past her prime dressing provocatively and suggestively, still peddling her butt around like she was 20. Do you NOT judge that person? I doubt it. As recently observed in here, with Tidal (whom I like, and have 0 issues with) was it not you who made a comment about how his "love interest" was too young, for him? Why is that? What makes anyone a proper judge in determining whether one person is worthy of another, or not? Also his "love interest" was objectively attractive, and youthful, thereby holding more "value", then him? What makes someone justified in making that assessment? What about valueing the invisible features of a person? Their character? Intelligence? Wit? Strength? Etc. The biggest problem with people dressing immodestly is that it focuses all that energy onto one attribute. And I know the difference of effort it takes to "doll oneself up" or choose to dress more casually/modestly. It is an observable fact that people are treated differently based off their appearance and clothing choices.
Do as you wish, but i still think it is sending the wrong message to society.
Finally what about the impact on children?Children look to their elders as role models. If all kids see is flashy, revealing, and suggestive clothing (on anyone) what does that encourage them to also imitate?
 






morita

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As recently observed in here, with Tidal (whom I like, and have 0 issues with) was it not you who made a comment about how his "love interest" was too young, for him? Why is that? What makes anyone a proper judge in determining whether one person is worthy of another, or not?
I previously pointed out the age difference because it's just creepy. Don't play dumb, we all know dating someone who's 50+ years younger is plain creepy. And age difference often means power imbalance. I can't believe I have to explain this.
Also his "love interest" was objectively attractive, and youthful, thereby holding more "value", then him?
And yes, in the dating market physical attractiveness and youth are a plus.

While it may be true that not all scantily clad women are sluts, it still doesn't send out a good message to people.
What it says is "look at me, I'm sexy, but you need to respect me for my mind, too". ???
Oh, ok. Sure. Mixed messages, much??
Dismissing a woman as a brainless bimbo because she's wearing a revealing outfit or has too much make-up on doesn't sit well with me, but that's where our culture is still at so.
 






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Lol @morita
Right back at ya.
I won't play any dumber than you, pretending that a woman who is showcasing her body isn't attempting to "sell" something to society.
Tell me that isn't true...
We are so innocent with flashing our body parts to the world, now aren't we?
I want to be respected for my mind and not my body, says the stripper.
Come on.
Do as you wish to, but don't expect others not to judge you based on your appearance...good or bad. Pretty or ugly. This is just life. People can be shallow. Looks eventually fade. Talk to me about this after popping out a few kids, and when your looks fade...
On a personal note, how old are you? Do you have kids?
If you are in your 20s and childless, then you have no idea how this stuff actually impacts society in the long run....
Have you not read VC articles and about how the MSM sexualizes everything and especially peddles that to youth and children? It's a huge problem....

ETA: sexualizing humans encourages moral degradation. It places value on the wrong ideals in life. What happens to the once attractive person who ages? They spent all their youth focused on their appearance and did not invest in their mind. They become bitter and resentful of their wasted youth and continue searching for that "fountain of youth" that will never restore their glory. It's anyone's business what they want to do with their lives, but pretending that it's healthy to focus all ones energy on the superficial, is empty and stupid. I think it is healthy to have a good self esteem, but narcissism and vanity is destructive.
 






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morita

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I won't play any dumber than you, pretending that a woman who is showcasing her body isn't attempting to "sell" something to society.
Tell me that isn't true...
???
I'm not talking about motherfucking celebrities, maybe there is a push to normalize promiscuity in msm but that's another topic entirely.
On a personal note, how old are you? Do you have kids?
If you are in your 20s and childless, then you have no idea how this stuff actually impacts society in the long run....
You seem to have a vendetta against young people who don't have kids. LOL
 






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@morita
No vendetta.
But what you lack is experiential knowledge.

All youth feel entitled because they are in their prime of beauty, fertility and virility.
Once you are dethroned from that position, let me know how you see things...
And yes, MSM heavily influences the norms of society. Promiscuity and clothing and fashion influences ordinary citizens on a subliminal level.

It is entirely intentional to dedicate energy to ones appearance. To focus on enhancing their features with makeup & hair accessories. Exaggerating their attributes with clothing or getting surgeries for enhancement. Why do people focus so much on how they look when they should really be developing other interior qualities, instead?
What's the purpose of that?
To gain power and have influence on others?
So full circle it comes down to power and influence....
Sex= power.
Women use that as a power point.
Always have.
Dressing it up as something else is unfortunate/deceptive.

ETA: I'm just offering a different perspective and trying to help inform, using my experience, and observations.
 






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Lisa

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And I will add that for women slut-shaming also comes in the form of people assuming we're promiscuous if we wear a revealing outfit which doesn't happen to men, and as a result we're treated with less respect.

No one will assume they can guess the number of sexual partners that men had based on their clothing and it doesn't affect the way they're treated. There is still this idea that a woman's value is based on her modesty and her chastity.
Should you be treated with respect for wearing a revealing outfit..or is that a desperate attempt for male attention? And if that’s the way you go about seeking male attention..then aren’t you acting slutty?

I don’t think men advertise the number of sex partners they had..no one likes a womanizer though.
 






morita

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@morita
No vendetta.
But what you lack is experiential knowledge.

All youth feel entitled because they are in their prime of beauty, fertility and virility.
Once you are dethroned from that position, let me know how you see things...
And yes, MSM heavily influences the norms of society. Promiscuity and clothing and fashion influences ordinary citizens on a subliminal level.

It is entirely intentional to dedicate energy to ones appearance. To focus on enhancing their features with makeup, hair accesories. Exaggerating their attributes with clothing or getting surgeries for enhancement. Why do people focus so much on how they look when they should really be developing other interior qualities, instead?
What's the purpose of that?
To gain power and have influence on others?
So full circle it comes down to power and influence....
Sex= power.
Women use that as a power point.
Always have.
Dressing it up as something else is unfortunate.

ETA: I'm just offering a different perspective and trying to help inform using my experience and observations.
Looking good and putting effort into your appearance will get you appraisal in society, you don't have to actually be "provocative" (to your standards) for that. Attractiveness will always be a plus if you have it. That being said, one can put effort into their apperance and still develop other qualities and talents. It doesn't have to be one or the other.
 






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Lisa

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You do realize that someone who invests in their physical appearance can also develop other qualities/talents right? It doesn't have to be one or the other.
If one develops their physical appearance to look like all they think about is sex...then people aren’t going to think they have any other qualities/talents.
 






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@morita more power to ya.
I'm not necessarily interested in bashing or slut shaming. I'm more interested in truthing and seeking out the underlying agenda in things.
Its just my observation that women may exploit their sexuality and physique to gain advantage over others. Namely men and lesser attractive females. This isn't to say that they aren't entitled to be whomever they wish to be, my objective is only in pointing out that what they are doing isn't just about fashion or style.
Sure you can be intelligent and still dress in revealing clothing, but what you are advertising is your body, first, and foremost.
To see another attribute one would have to break through that barrier of inflated self worth/ego (due to natures advantage of youth/beauty) and get to know the inner person.
There is no way that any person who commits to a ritualistic beauty and fitness regimin is not simultaneously incredibly shallow with their judgements toward others. It just doesn't work that way. You may deny this fact publicly, but if you are the type of person who obsesses needlessly over your appearance, you too are a person who judges others by that standard, also.
I'm not a young adult, but I have observed the bizarre casuality and frequency of casual sex and obsession with ones self, especially their appearance. Which is hilarious because its literally just the encasement of ones body. Selfies, sexting, hookups, tinder, plastic surgery. To me, its more of the "how does this appear to the world" fake facade not what truly is.
Then again the youth culture doesn't seem concerned with truth. Just concerned about their "rights" whatever those are???
ETA:
My suggestion to the youth.
Be beautiful. Have dignity.
Chastity is a virtue. Modesty also.
Develope your mind and body in physical and spiritual ways.
Relying on others for your self worth and appraisal, will always lead to a dead end.
Love and respect yourself without seeking validation from others.
 






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morita

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I'm not a young adult, but I have observed the bizarre casuality and frequency of casual sex and obsession with ones self, especially their appearance. Which is hilarious because its literally just the encasement of ones body. Selfies, sexting, hookups, tinder, plastic surgery. To me, its more of the "how does this appear to the world" fake facade not what truly is.
Then again the youth culture doesn't seem concerned with truth. Just concerned about their "rights" whatever those are???
Well, old people aren't concerned about their physical appearance because your looks fade so after you hit 30 you have to find something else.
 






morita

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Omg!
30 is "old"!?
Hahahaha!
Showing your age, dear. :D
You talked about young people partaking in casual sex, taking selfies and being obessed with their appearance.
I responded, 30 is the time where people stop doing that and will eventually move on to something else because they realize their looks are going to fade.
I didn't say 30 was old, rather that it's the time where people start to settle and try to get their life together and won't engage in the same shticks as in their 20s
 






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*sigh*
That may be somewhat true, but to glorify the human form and then scream "sexual harassment" hardly seems fair, if you think about it.
"Gross" old people (men) drooling over young women who in turn demonize their inappropriate lustfulness after flaunting and parading themselves around seems awfully hypocritical, to me.
And yes, I will focus on the entertainment industry because that is where the youth take their queue from.
Young people are followers and lack experience and wisdom. The one thing they do have is their health and beauty, which unfortunately, the majority of the time, gets squandered on indulgences.
Go on and spend your youth on what is fleeting, but don't pretend it is empowering or healthy for a person to do so.
Might I add all these influencers are peddling their sex to the highest bidder, which btw does mean gross old men who expect "attention" if you know what I mean. If you haven't ever seen the movie, watch "Starry eyes" it's a horror flick, but it explains how the industry really works. This applies to real life, too. It's going to be hilarious when you realize you are just pushing the MSM agenda with your female empowerment bit.
Pretty sure VC has an article about that flick.
 






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The researchers recruited 4,455 participants via Amazon's Mechanical Turk website who were told they would take part in a study into their "perceptions of others." The team restricted participation to people ages 18 to 35, reasoning that the sexual double standard—in which men are rewarded for sexual activity, while women are punished—would be particularly relevant for young adults.
Each participant was directed "to think about either one male or one female friend or acquaintance whom they (a) knew in their real life, and (b) had information about their sexual history."
Subjects then responded to 20 statements about this person, which evaluated them in terms of their values, success, intelligence, and likability.

Finally, they described the nature of their relationship with the person they were evaluating, and noted "how many people they thought the target individual had engaged in sexual intercourse with."
The results showed a clear pattern. Women were "increasingly derogated as the number of sexual partners increased," but men were not. This pattern held whether the people doing the judging were male or female.

"The sexual double standard was more pronounced as participants' certainty about the target's number of sexual partners increased," the researchers report. Still, the impact of this confidence was very small, meaning that women were judged more harshly even if the participants were relying on rumors or speculation.



Thoughts?
Why not slut shame male sluts instead of justifying women who compete with men in a slut contest?
 






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