Does Forgiveness Matter?

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#5
Forgive and forget or forgive and never forget?
If you haven't forgotten it have you really forgiven it?
Forgiveness is letting go of the wrong that's been done to you. Forgetting it is letting it be replaced by your own kindness and gentleness towards the one who has wronged you so that they in turn might reciprocate with kindness and gentleness God willing.
Either way, it's a positive thing for you and perhaps a positive thing for them.
And since our lives should be lived in the best possible way, forgiveness not only matters, it is essential.
 





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#6
Forgive and forget or forgive and never forget?
If you haven't forgotten it have you really forgiven it?
Forgiveness is letting go of the wrong that's been done to you. Forgetting it is letting it be replaced by your own kindness and gentleness towards the one who has wronged you so that they in turn might reciprocate with kindness and gentleness God willing.
Either way, it's a positive thing for you and perhaps a positive thing for them.
And since our lives should be lived in the best possible way, forgiveness not only matters, it is essential.
I agree for the most part, though there are times when forgetting is not always best for guarding your heart. You want to forgive those that hurt you, but you don't always want to put yourself in the same position to be hurt again by someone who does not want to change. You don't want to set yourself up to hurt again. If however you are forgiving someone who is truly repentant of what they have done, then yes you should give that person another chance.
 





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#11
I'm a big believer in forgiveness. But sometimes you can't forget, or there's purpose to that fire burning inside you. Maybe it's me, but there are plenty of things that still burn me up. It's really about controlling the energy, and not letting it control you. And that's hard to do sometimes.
 





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#12
I agree for the most part, though there are times when forgetting is not always best for guarding your heart. You want to forgive those that hurt you, but you don't always want to put yourself in the same position to be hurt again by someone who does not want to change. You don't want to set yourself up to hurt again. If however you are forgiving someone who is truly repentant of what they have done, then yes you should give that person another chance.
Forgive forget and move on so you won't be in a position for the repeat offense. Then if and when you come into contact with that person again you treat them with kindness and leniency and God willing they would do the same - but you don't have to take them as a bosom buddy.
 





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#13
@Todd I totally get this since I've had to cut off narcissistic and abusive people from my life, yet I hope the memories fade more with time. And sometimes the people are members of your own family.

Does anyone struggle with taking on others' offenses? For example, I don't like it when people treat me badly but I get fighting mad and feisty when someone treats someone I love or care about badly. That will rankle me to no end. It's totally a fleshy and kind of a mama bear or territorial response. I struggled once for almost a whole weekend over someone being mean to one of my good friends. The friend was over it long before I was. I'm over it now, of course; that's just an example. It helped to just look at the offender as just human and really an insecure person. It all stemmed from a failure to communicate honestly as most disagreements and arguments can stem from.