Dating and Marriage 2020?

justjess

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I’m entirely dependent on God...it was God who provided my husband with his current job.

It sounded like the reason you want separate accounts is so you could both spend money how you wish without the other getting mad about it..instead of having the joint account and working together. But I can see where you don’t like to budge where you think you’re right..so it probably is easier.
It actually didn’t sound like that since I explained from the beginning my husband is a spender and I am a saver. You just impose your preconceived notions on whatever you read no matter what it says.

Do You and your husband have a budget?

I don’t see why I would have tobudge about my own marriage. You certainly can’t think you know better about someone else’s marriage then they do?
 

Lisa

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Mar 13, 2017
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It actually didn’t sound like that since I explained from the beginning my husband is a spender and I am a saver. You just impose your preconceived notions on whatever you read no matter what it says.

Do You and your husband have a budget?

I don’t see why I would have tobudge about my own marriage. You certainly can’t think you know better about someone else’s marriage then they do?
My husband is good at budgeting so I let him do as he sees fit.

All I know is if you’re married then you should share everything. That’s what being married is all about. Compromising and trusting one another. You’ve just given up on that part of your relationship and decided that it’s not worth trying to figure out how to work together.
 

Hon33

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Why do you say that?
I say it Lisa because, time after time, you demonstrate that you make judgements about other people’s lives and even when they try to explain the reasons for their decisions, you ignore what they say and continue arguing about your point.
You cannot tell people what to do in their lives - you’re not living their life. What works for you and your husband may not work for others. That does not make their relationship less valid or less cherished than yours.
 

Hon33

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My husband is good at budgeting so I let him do as he sees fit.

All I know is if you’re married then you should share everything. That’s what being married is all about. Compromising and trusting one another. You’ve just given up on that part of your relationship and decided that it’s not worth trying to figure out how to work together.
No Lisa, not having the same account does not mean you’re not figuring out how to work together. JustJess and her husband are working every bit as much together as you and your husband - as am I with my husband.
We just work together differently than you.
 

justjess

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My husband is good at budgeting so I let him do as he sees fit.

All I know is if you’re married then you should share everything. That’s what being married is all about. Compromising and trusting one another. You’ve just given up on that part of your relationship and decided that it’s not worth trying to figure out how to work together.
No Lisa. Lol. We actually did figure out how to work together. That’s the point. But the point always seems to go over your head. We do share everything - it is literally a formalized petty cash budget. For some reason you can’t comprehend this.

20 years, 2 kids, a dog, two businesses in joint ownership and we don’t “work together” because we separated petty cash into personal accounts... lmao :rolleyes:

hey Lisa, don’t you constantly complain about the divorce rate? Do you know money is the number one reason for divorce? Why would you begrudge any financial arrangement that helped reduce the divorce rate?
 

Lisa

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I say it Lisa because, time after time, you demonstrate that you make judgements about other people’s lives and even when they try to explain the reasons for their decisions, you ignore what they say and continue arguing about your point.
You cannot tell people what to do in their lives - you’re not living their life. What works for you and your husband may not work for others. That does not make their relationship less valid or less cherished than yours.
Why get mad at what I say unless you think I’m right?
 

Lisa

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No Lisa, not having the same account does not mean you’re not figuring out how to work together. JustJess and her husband are working every bit as much together as you and your husband - as am I with my husband.
We just work together differently than you.
If you have separate accounts you aren’t working together..how can you be?
 

Lisa

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No Lisa. Lol. We actually did figure out how to work together. That’s the point. But the point always seems to go over your head. We do share everything - it is literally a formalized petty cash budget. For some reason you can’t comprehend this.

20 years, 2 kids, a dog, two businesses in joint ownership and we don’t “work together” because we separated petty cash into personal accounts... lmao :rolleyes:

hey Lisa, don’t you constantly complain about the divorce rate? Do you know money is the number one reason for divorce? Why would you begrudge any financial arrangement that helped reduce the divorce rate?
You always have your excuses for things that’s for sure Jess. You’d think through all that you could have figured out a way to keep even together instead of needing to have a separate account to stay together..
 

justjess

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You always have your excuses for things that’s for sure Jess. You’d think through all that you could have figured out a way to keep even together instead of needing to have a separate account to stay together..
Lmao your the worst person I’ve ever met Lisa. You should be honored because I’ve met more then my fair share of horrible people, being the worst is quite an accomplishment.

There is nothing more “working together” then sitting down and discussing an issue in a relationship and “working together” to find a solution that works for both parties to improve the quality of said relationship. I’ll tell you this I’ve never been in front of a divorce lawyer and never will be. So guess I got one up on you huh?

most marriages where one partner has bipolar end in divorce - the divorce rate in that situation is exponentially higher then in the general population. One of the symptoms of bipolar is impulsive spending sprees that can leave a person or family financially devastated. You can get no more “working together” then finding a way to avoid a heartbreaking outcome of a chronic illness that is well known and tends to break up families. You should be applauding me and my husband tbh. But it’s never about keeping families together or any other thing you claim. It’s only about imposing your way of doing things on other people. Every. Single. Time.
 

Lisa

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Lmao your the worst person I’ve ever met Lisa. You should be honored because I’ve met more then my fair share of horrible people, being the worst is quite an accomplishment.

There is nothing more “working together” then sitting down and discussing an issue in a relationship and “working together” to find a solution that works for both parties to improve the quality of said relationship. I’ll tell you this I’ve never been in front of a divorce lawyer and never will be. So guess I got one up on you huh?

most marriages where one partner has bipolar end in divorce - the divorce rate in that situation is exponentially higher then in the general population. One of the symptoms of bipolar is impulsive spending sprees that can leave a person or family financially devastated. You can get no more “working together” then finding a way to avoid a heartbreaking outcome of a chronic illness that is well known and tends to break up families. You should be applauding me and my husband tbh. But it’s never about keeping families together or any other thing you claim. It’s only about imposing your way of doing things on other people. Every. Single. Time.
Wow! Another excuse why you have to have this one area in your life that can’t be worked out besides separating it from one another.
 

Hon33

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806
Life is all opinion :rolleyes:
No, Lisa, it really isn’t - especially when that opinion comes in the form of judgement.
Perhaps that’s what’s wrong with you, Lisa. Perhaps you should try filling your life with love, empathy, compassion, compromise, experience, learning, open-mindedness...
 

Lisa

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No, Lisa, it really isn’t - especially when that opinion comes in the form of judgement.
Perhaps that’s what’s wrong with you, Lisa. Perhaps you should try filling your life with love, empathy, compassion, compromise, experience, learning, open-mindedness...
Life is opinion...we all have them and we all think we are right about the things we think. We can even go online and find others that agree with us.

I do have those things in my life.
 

justjess

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Mar 16, 2017
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11,510
People get facts wrong so that it matches up with their opinion all the time.
No Lisa they are two different things. People can have different opinions about what facts mean but they can’t have different facts.
 

Lisa

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Dating tips from the past..will they work now?

MCCALL'S FULL LIST OF HOW TO GET A HUSBAND, PUBLISHED IN 1958
1. Get a dog and walk it.
2. Have your car breakdown at strategic places.
3. Attend night school - take course men like.
4. Look in the census reports for places with the most single men.
5. Read the obituaries to find eligible widowers.
6. Join a hiking club.
7. Take up golf and go to different golf courses.
8. Take several short vacations at different places rather than one long one at one place.
9. Sit on a park bench and feed the pigeons.
10. Take a bicycle trip through Europe.
11. Get a job in a medical, dental or law school.
12. Become a nurse or an airline stewardess.
13. Ask your friends' husbands who the eligible men are in their offices.
14. Be nice to everybody - they may have an eligible son or brother.
15. Get a government job overseas.
16. Volunteer for jury duty.
17. Be friendly to ugly men - handsome is as handsome does.
18. Tell your friends you're interested in getting married.
19. Get lost at football games.
20. Don't take a job in a company largely run by women.
21. Get a job demonstrating fishing tackle in a sports store.
22. On a plane, train or bus don't sit next to a woman - sit next to a man.
23. Go to all school reunions, there may be widowers there.
24. Don't be afraid to associate with more attractive girls, they may have some leftovers.
25. Go back to your home town - the wild kid next door may now be an eligible bachelor.
26. Don't room with a girl who is a sad sack and let her pull you down to her level.
27. Get a part-time job in a convention bureau.
28. Change apartments from time to time.
29. When travelling stay at small hotels where it's easier to meet strangers.
30. Learn to paint. Set up easel outside engineering school.
31. Stumble when you walk into a room he's in
32. Forget discretion every once in a while and call him up.
33. Carry a hat box.
34. Wear a band-aid - people always ask what happened.
35. Make a lot of money.
36. Learn several funny stories and learn to tell them well - but make sure you don't tell him more than once.
37. Walk up to him and tell him you need some advice.
38. Dropping the handkerchief still works.
39. Have your father buy some theatre tickets that need to be got rid of.
40. Stand in a corner and cry softly - chances are he'll come over to ask what's wrong.
41. If you are at a resort, have a bell boy page you.
42. Buy a convertible - men like to ride in them.
43. Don't let him fish for your name next time you meet.
44. Learn how to bake tasty apple pies - bring one into the office and let the eligible bachelors taste it.
45. Laugh at his jokes.
46. If there's a wallflower among the men you know, why not cultivate them?
47. 'Accidentally' have your purse fly open, scattering its contents across the street.
48. Men like to think they're authorities on perfume, ask his advice on what kind you should wear.
49. Get better looking glasses - men still make passes at girls who wear glasses - or try contact lenses.
50. Practice your drinking with your women friends first.
51. If you dye your hair, pick a shade and stick to it.
52. Wear high heels most of the time - they're sexier.
53. Unless he happens to be shorter than you are.
54. Tell him he's handsome.
55. Take good care of your health - men don't like girls who are ill.
56. If you look good in sweaters, wear one on every third date.
57. Dress differently from the other girls in the office.
58. Get a sunburn.
59. Watch your vocabulary.
60. Go on a diet if you need to.
61. When you are with him, order your steak rare.
62. Don't tell him about your allergies.
63. European women use their eyes to good advantage - practise in front of a mirror.
64. Buy a full-length mirror and take a good, long look before you go and meet him.
65. Change the shade of your stockings and be sure to keep the seams straight
66. Get that fresh scrubbed look by scrubbing.
67. If he has bought you any accessory or trinket, wear it.
68. Use the ashtray, don't crush our cigarettes in a coffee cup.
69. Polish up on making introductions, learn to do them gracefully.
70. Don't be too fussy.
71. Stick to your moral standards.
72. Don't whine - girls who whine, stay on the vine.
73. Show him you can have fun on a cheap date - but don't overdo it.
74. Don't let your parents treat him like a potential husband.
75. Ask your parents to disappear when you're entertaining.
76. Double date with a happily married couple, let him see what it's like.
77. Tell his friends nice things about him.
78. Send his mother a birthday card.
79. Ask his mother for recipes.
80. Talk to his father about business and agree taxes are too high.
81. Buy his sister's children an occasional present.
82. On the first date tell him you aren't thinking about getting married.
83. Don't talk about how many children you want.
84. If he's a fisherman, learn to scale and clean fish.
85. Don't tell him everything about yourself at the start. Hold some in reserve.
86. When you're out strolling with him, don't insist on stopping at every shop window.
87. Don't tell him how much your clothes cost.
88. Learn to sew and wear something you have made yourself.
89. Don't gossip about him.
90. Never let him know he's the only one, even if you have to stay home one or two nights a week.
91. Don't be a pushover when he's trying to make a date.
92. Very early on in your dating, why not get a favourite song that you both regard as your own?
93. Find out about the girls he hasn't married. Don't repeat their mistakes.
94. Don't discuss your former boyfriends.
95. If you are widowed or divorced, don't discuss your former husband.
96. Be flexible - if he decides to skip the dance and go rowing on the lake, go - even if you're wearing your best evening gown.
97. Hide your Phi Beta Kappa key if you own one - later on junior can play with it.
98. Turn wolves into husbands by assuming they have honour.
99. Resist the urge to make him over - before marriage that is.
100. Remain innocent but not ignorant.
101. Learn to draw the line but do it gracefully.
102. Make your home comfortable when he calls - large ashtrays, comfortable chairs.
103. Learn to play poker.
104. If he's rich, tell him you like his money - the honesty will intrigue him.
105. Never let him believe your career is more important than your marriage.
106. Buy him an amusing or particularly appropriate present every once in a while - but don't make it too expensive.
107. Clip and mail him a funny cartoon that means something to both of you.
108. Don't tell dirty stories.
109. Stop being a mama's girl - don't let him think he'll have in-law trouble, even if he will.
110. Point out that the death rate of single men is twice that of married men.
111. Go to Yale.
112. Get a hunting licence.
113. If your mother is fat, tell him you take after your father. If he's fat too, tell him you're adopted!
114. Stow away on a battleship.
115. Rent a billboard and post your photo and phone number on it.
116. Paint your name and number on a roof and write 'give me a buzz pilots'.
117. Start a whispering campaign about how sought-after you are.
118. Sink at a fashionable beach of high noon.
119. Ride the airport back and forth from the airport.
120. Bribe Ferris-wheel operator to get you stuck at the top of the Ferris-wheel.
121. Stand on a busy street corner with a lasso.
122. Carry a camera and ask strange, handsome men if they can would mind snapping your picture.
123. Ask your mother to take in male boarders.
124. Make and sell toupees - bald men make easy catches.
125. Advertise for a male co-owner of a boat.
126. If you see a man with a flat, offer to catch it
127. Carry a tow chain in the trunk of your automobile.
128. Let it be known in your office that you have a button box and will sew on bachelor's loose button.
129. Don't marry him if he has too many loose buttons
 
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