Dating and Marriage 2020?

Dalit

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In all my pasts relationships i'd pay 100% except when the girl specifically offered to pay for 50%.
But of course, in all these ocasions only one girl didn't ended up being my girlfriend (and we just had one date.)

All of these girls spent lots of time getting ready and putting on their make up so they would look pretty and smell nice with all that shampoo and perfume.

I just had a bath and sometimes i'd shave my beard so... yeah, 10 dollars (converted BRL to USD) more ain't that much.
You might appreciate this.

I love how Greg is napping instead of getting ready for his date. :)
 






Lisa

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Dating Games: Playing ‘Hard To Get’ Really Works, Study Confirms
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — As Pat Benatar sings in her 1983 classic, love is a battlefield. Now, any good general will tell you every battle requires a sound strategy. Similarly, many people employ their own strategies and approaches when it comes to attracting and chatting up that special someone. One of the most frequently used dating tactics is “playing hard to get,” or purposely acting cold and even mean toward the person we’re interested in. But, does playing hard to get really work?

On the surface it makes no sense at all, but that’s human nature in a nutshell. While many of us probably have our own personal successes and failures with the hard-to-get approach, modern science is finally ready to weigh in on the debate. A new study from the University of Rochester concludes that yes, playing hard to get does in fact increase a potential mate’s perceived desirability.

Perhaps it’s the thrill of uncertainty that comes along with pursuing someone we’re not sure is interested in us.

“Playing hard to get makes it seem as if you are more in demand—we call that having higher mate value,” says Harry Reis, a professor of psychology and Dean’s Professor in Arts, Sciences & Engineering at Rochester, in a release.

“People who are too easy to attract may be perceived as more desperate,” adds co-author Gurit Birnbaum, a social psychologist and associate professor of psychology at the IDC Herzliya in Israel. “That makes them seem less valuable and appealing—than those who do not make their romantic interest apparent right away.”
 






Hon33

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My husband and I have always had separate bank accounts. I never felt inclined to give mine up.
When we married at first, he earned more than I did. He paid the mortgage and most of the bills and I bought groceries and and household items etc.
For a short time we earned the same amount of money and we were able to have holidays etc, which I was able to contribute more to because I then earned as much as he did. I took on some of the bills as well.
When I no longer worked full time after we had children, we reverted to me paying for groceries and things the kids needed etc while he paid most of the bills.
There has never been any arguments about who paid for what. We have just always worked it out, while maintaining a degree of financial independence. He has full access to my bank account if he needs and I always had a card for his, which he gave me for emergencies.
 






Lisa

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My husband and I have always had separate bank accounts. I never felt inclined to give mine up.
When we married at first, he earned more than I did. He paid the mortgage and most of the bills and I bought groceries and and household items etc.
For a short time we earned the same amount of money and we were able to have holidays etc, which I was able to contribute more to because I then earned as much as he did. I took on some of the bills as well.
When I no longer worked full time after we had children, we reverted to me paying for groceries and things the kids needed etc while he paid most of the bills.
There has never been any arguments about who paid for what. We have just always worked it out, while maintaining a degree of financial independence. He has full access to my bank account if he needs and I always had a card for his, which he gave me for emergencies.
Why not combine the account then?
 






Hon33

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So in case you wanted to leave him?
Absolutely not. Why would you make that assumption?
I simply wanted my own bank account and I wanted him to have his. There were other, practical reasons for that decision as well, which you wouldn’t understand if you don’t know anything about banking in the UK and more specifically, Northern Ireland, at that time.
Suffice is to say, I wanted independence and we both wanted convenience. Neither of us really thought it was a huge issue to have separate bank accounts. My parents always had separate bank accounts. His did not. His mother relied on his father for everything financially and neither of us, liked that idea.
We have never in almost 26 years of marriage had a disagreement about money.
We got married had two children together. That is a much better indicator of our intention to stay together forever, than having joint bank accounts!
 






Lisa

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Absolutely not. Why would you make that assumption?
I simply wanted my own bank account and I wanted him to have his. There were other, practical reasons for that decision as well, which you wouldn’t understand if you don’t know anything about banking in the UK and more specifically, Northern Ireland, at that time.
Suffice is to say, I wanted independence and we both wanted convenience. Neither of us really thought it was a huge issue to have separate bank accounts. My parents always had separate bank accounts. His did not. His mother relied on his father for everything financially and neither of us, liked that idea.
We have never in almost 26 years of marriage had a disagreement about money.
We got married had two children together. That is a much better indicator of our intention to stay together forever, than having joint bank accounts!
You won’t totally merge with him with even your finances. If you don’t want to merge your finances that to me says you want to stay separated in case it doesn’t work out and you need your money to support yourself.

Yep..I don’t know anything about banking in the U.K. or Northern Ireland...but what about banking now?
 






Hon33

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You won’t totally merge with him with even your finances. If you don’t want to merge your finances that to me says you want to stay separated in case it doesn’t work out and you need your money to support yourself.

Yep..I don’t know anything about banking in the U.K. or Northern Ireland...but what about banking now?
You don’t really seem to understand that we are entirely financially merged. We own a house together, with a joint mortgage. We have shared life assurance, property insurance etc, etc. Just because we don’t have the same bank account, does not mean we are not financially merged?
In the twenty-six years we have been married, we have never argued about money. What we do works for us. What gives you the right to question it?
I have no intention of leaving my husband. I wouldn’t have married him otherwise. Our wedding vows required us to share everything we have, which we do. We just don’t have the same bank account. He can have access to my account any time he wants to and I, his.
 






Lisa

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You don’t really seem to understand that we are entirely financially merged. We own a house together, with a joint mortgage. We have shared life assurance, property insurance etc, etc. Just because we don’t have the same bank account, does not mean we are not financially merged?
In the twenty-six years we have been married, we have never argued about money. What we do works for us. What gives you the right to question it?
I have no intention of leaving my husband. I wouldn’t have married him otherwise. Our wedding vows required us to share everything we have, which we do. We just don’t have the same bank account. He can have access to my account any time he wants to and I, his.
I think its a little disingenuous to say that you share everything but have separate bank accounts..you don’t actually share everything then. And you aren’t entirely financially merged..you have a separate bank account, is all I’m saying. If you merged that bank account do you think you would fight about money? What would change then?
 






Hon33

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I think its a little disingenuous to say that you share everything but have separate bank accounts..you don’t actually share everything then. And you aren’t entirely financially merged..you have a separate bank account, is all I’m saying. If you merged that bank account do you think you would fight about money? What would change then?
We have two separate cars (even though I can’t drive atm for medical reasons). He is insured for mine and I am insured for his. One of them is registered to me and one to him. Does that mean we don’t share everything?
We have two separate phone contracts - paid for separately. One phone is mine and one phone is his. Does that mean we aren’t sharing everything?
Sometimes, if we are being really adventurous, we don’t eat the same thing for dinner at night! Does that mean we are not fully merged? What if we go to bed at a different time?
We do have a joint mortgage, life assurance etc, so we are at least partially financially emerged.
For heaven’s sake, we are married, we have not been joined at the hip? It is permitted to not share a bank account.
Would we have fought more, if we had have had a joint bank account? Possibly. We are very different people in terms of how we manage our finances. We may well have found the other’s system frustrating.
Separate bank accounts was the best fit for us. It’s not your place to question it. You think I wanted a separate bank account in case I decided to leave him? The irony is that if that were the case, I would be better off with a joint account because for many years now, he has been the higher earner.
 






Lisa

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We have two separate cars (even though I can’t drive atm for medical reasons). He is insured for mine and I am insured for his. One of them is registered to me and one to him. Does that mean we don’t share everything?
We have two separate phone contracts - paid for separately. One phone is mine and one phone is his. Does that mean we aren’t sharing everything?
Sometimes, if we are being really adventurous, we don’t eat the same thing for dinner at night! Does that mean we are not fully merged? What if we go to bed at a different time?
We do have a joint mortgage, life assurance etc, so we are at least partially financially emerged.
For heaven’s sake, we are married, we have not been joined at the hip? It is permitted to not share a bank account.
Would we have fought more, if we had have had a joint bank account? Possibly. We are very different people in terms of how we manage our finances. We may well have found the other’s system frustrating.
Separate bank accounts was the best fit for us. It’s not your place to question it. You think I wanted a separate bank account in case I decided to leave him? The irony is that if that were the case, I would be better off with a joint account because for many years now, he has been the higher earner.
Sure, but this way you are in charge of your finances so should you want to leave him...
 






kerrichinchilla

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Sure, but this way you are in charge of your finances so should you want to leave him...
Why are you so obsessed with her having independence and a separate bank account. It's nothing new or revolutionary, pretty much everyone in the UK has separate bank accounts from partners.
I do, my parents did, they were married for 30 years until dad died in 2012, they were very much in love, my mother still hasn't moved on from his death, but both had separate bank accounts.

Personally I found couples who can't do things independent from each other are the most likely to split up.
 






Vixy

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I agree, men should pay for the date. It doesnt have to be anything expensive or big but he should show he means business with you, that he's serious. I'm resided in sweden and here the guys doesnt take one out on a date at all, they just order you home to them or come to your place and then you sit there and keep sitting there year after year.. They dont wanna marry either. We have MANY single women, in fact 52% of our households are single.
 






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Hon33

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Sure, but this way you are in charge of your finances so should you want to leave him...
What do you want me to say? That despite being married for 26 years, during which time I’ve never even considered leaving my husband, I have maintained a separate bank account just incase I decide at some point that I do?
I don’t know what insecurities you have that you require your husband to be completely and utterly “merged” with you but my husband and I, don’t share them.
Some things in life really just are the way they are. There is not always an ulterior motive. Of all the reasons we had for maintaining separate bank accounts, leaving each other never came into it.
I’ve seen you post some pretty weird stuff but this takes the biscuit, to be honest. Why would you spend all this time thinking about my motivation for having separate bank accounts? Haven’t you anything more important to think about? It’s most bizarre.
 






Lisa

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Why are you so obsessed with her having independence and a separate bank account. It's nothing new or revolutionary, pretty much everyone in the UK has separate bank accounts from partners.
I do, my parents did, they were married for 30 years until dad died in 2012, they were very much in love, my mother still hasn't moved on from his death, but both had separate bank accounts.

Personally I found couples who can't do things independent from each other are the most likely to split up.
I think you may have hit on the right word there Kerri..independence.

I thought it was more that couples split up when they can’t find things to do together?




What do you want me to say? That despite being married for 26 years, during which time I’ve never even considered leaving my husband, I have maintained a separate bank account just incase I decide at some point that I do?
I don’t know what insecurities you have that you require your husband to be completely and utterly “merged” with you but my husband and I, don’t share them.
Some things in life really just are the way they are. There is not always an ulterior motive. Of all the reasons we had for maintaining separate bank accounts, leaving each other never came into it.
I’ve seen you post some pretty weird stuff but this takes the biscuit, to be honest. Why would you spend all this time thinking about my motivation for having separate bank accounts? Haven’t you anything more important to think about? It’s most bizarre.
I don’t think about it until you reply..so I’m not obsessed with you having your own account. I just think it show a lack of trust. If you never fight about money why would you if you merged accounts? But you’re both polite enough to let each other in on those accounts, but not merge? Seems distrustful. As for having your name on other financials that could be because of things did go wrong...your name is on half?
 






kerrichinchilla

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I think you may have hit on the right word there Kerri..independence.

I thought it was more that couples split up when they can’t find things to do together?





I don’t think about it until you reply..so I’m not obsessed with you having your own account. I just think it show a lack of trust. If you never fight about money why would you if you merged accounts? But you’re both polite enough to let each other in on those accounts, but not merge? Seems distrustful. As for having your name on other financials that could be because of things did go wrong...your name is on half?
Distrustful is having to have a joint account because you don't trust your partner enough to allow them a separate one. Why do you need to have a joint account? Do you not trust your partner to be independent
 






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