Dove28
Rookie
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
- Messages
- 71
Hello everyone! I am new here. I found this site after researching about how BigHit sues those who spread malicious and defamed content. On twitter I posted something of truth about BTS and was attacked by Army, threatened to be reported. It frightened me honestly, their determination to ruin lives for their boytoys is disturbing. So I quit Twitter. I think God lead me here as crazy as it sounds. I've been listening to J-pop since 2005, started listening to K-pop since 2011.
I was a fan of BTS after a woman shown me "I Need You" at a retreat in Peru (I took Ayahuasca for 2 weeks which helped me understand my subconscious; it's not for everyone as it has very dark elements so please don't bother trying it, people died from this and lost their minds). As I look back, it was bizarre that she would eagerly show me a BTS song at a very sensitive time of our lives. I mean, DMT is no joke. Mentally, physically and psychologically we were "open" to many things. I listened to "I Need You" but didn't care for it. There was no internet at the retreat (we were in a middle of a jungle) but she got their music saved in her MP3. On a random note: I remember she said she use to work with Shinee and found out how gangsters worked in the K-pop industry. She didn't say no more.
Anyways, the curiosity grew and and I listened to "Fire" at a Peru hotel (slept a night before my flight back home) because of a hook in the song (it's like a synthesizer element in Jin's part) I love synthesizer sounds for some weird reason. There are a lot of them in J-pop music which helped me overcome a lot of issues.
It was this part in "Fire":
Live as you like, it’s your life anyway.
Stop trying, it’s OK to lose.
I think this part of the song got me hook to them. The rest was history really. I became OBSESSED. For hours a day I would watch shipping material, Vlives, Bon Voyages, fan made material, MV's. I don't know how I managed to attain a B.A degree as I look back! I was seriously obsessed. I thought I related to them in some way. I bought the whole narrative: underdogs trying to achieve their dream against the Big Bad 3 (SM, YG, JYP). And I wanted to find meaning in that narrative and applied that in my own life.
But my life is not their life. Simple as that. I wasn't an idol who wanted money and success and popularity. I don't even see that as "life" but rather a prison. If Suga for example and many others TRULY wanted to be authentic, they wouldn't need to be under a controlling agency. They wouldn't need fame. My version of living my life is being my complete self (the way God created me to BE).
I was a fan of BTS after a woman shown me "I Need You" at a retreat in Peru (I took Ayahuasca for 2 weeks which helped me understand my subconscious; it's not for everyone as it has very dark elements so please don't bother trying it, people died from this and lost their minds). As I look back, it was bizarre that she would eagerly show me a BTS song at a very sensitive time of our lives. I mean, DMT is no joke. Mentally, physically and psychologically we were "open" to many things. I listened to "I Need You" but didn't care for it. There was no internet at the retreat (we were in a middle of a jungle) but she got their music saved in her MP3. On a random note: I remember she said she use to work with Shinee and found out how gangsters worked in the K-pop industry. She didn't say no more.
Anyways, the curiosity grew and and I listened to "Fire" at a Peru hotel (slept a night before my flight back home) because of a hook in the song (it's like a synthesizer element in Jin's part) I love synthesizer sounds for some weird reason. There are a lot of them in J-pop music which helped me overcome a lot of issues.
It was this part in "Fire":
Live as you like, it’s your life anyway.
Stop trying, it’s OK to lose.
I think this part of the song got me hook to them. The rest was history really. I became OBSESSED. For hours a day I would watch shipping material, Vlives, Bon Voyages, fan made material, MV's. I don't know how I managed to attain a B.A degree as I look back! I was seriously obsessed. I thought I related to them in some way. I bought the whole narrative: underdogs trying to achieve their dream against the Big Bad 3 (SM, YG, JYP). And I wanted to find meaning in that narrative and applied that in my own life.
But my life is not their life. Simple as that. I wasn't an idol who wanted money and success and popularity. I don't even see that as "life" but rather a prison. If Suga for example and many others TRULY wanted to be authentic, they wouldn't need to be under a controlling agency. They wouldn't need fame. My version of living my life is being my complete self (the way God created me to BE).