Abortion : The Otherside of the slippery slope

Joined
Dec 7, 2018
Messages
40
With that statement, I'm almost sure that most of us wouldn't be alive today unless those who were born in wealthy families. It's not my case.



One word, responsibility. Nobody force people to do drugs and accept a toxic lifestyle. When they choose this lifestyle it's up to them to realize that they can't afford to have kids before pregnancy.
Abortion is not the only contraception that exists today.
I don't mean only being born in wealthy families. I mean crack whores who get pregnant and do drugs while having a baby in their stomach. Or prostitutes who don't have normal jobs to even provide for that baby and end up getting AIDS and dying. There are girls who are human trafficked. If they get pregnant and have the baby, they'd be reminded every single day that they were forced into being a whore. At the end of the day, its the woman's body so let her do whatever she wants with her body. You don't know the circumstances every single time and you shouldn't have to know because it's nobody's business. How would you like to be told what to do with your body? And pregnancy is not always planned. Condoms aren't always 100% reliable and neither is birth control. I know of somebody who got their tubes tied and a year later she got pregnant...so people don't always have the choice not to get pregnant.
 

Scars512

Established
Joined
May 21, 2019
Messages
330
I don't understand why people can't understand that abortion is not a completely black/white issue. There are a ton of scenarios that fall into that gray area. For the record, I don't like abortion. I would agree that the majority of abortion probably is done because people didn't take enough precautions to not get pregnant in the first place. But even in those cases, sometimes it can be for something as simple as not using a back up method when you are on antibiotics, forgetting to take the pill one day, or using an old condom that has degraded (especially true if it is a teenage boy who has carried that condom around in his wallet for a year hoping to get lucky). Sometimes they can't afford birth control. I mean, we can't expect poor people to just not have sex. That is unrealistic. Plus, let's remember that teens (and even some adults) do some really dumb stuff. I once knew a girl who told me she and her boyfriend used saran wrap because they didn't have a condom. She obviously was not the brightest bulb --- so sometimes people really are too dumb to make the best decisions.

Still, I don't think people who are anti-abortion really have thought about the consequences of banning abortion. The vast majority of abortions are done by people who fall under the poverty line. If those kids are born, that means lots of welfare that needs to be paid out to support those kids if the mother keeps them or they end up in the foster care system. And the same people who are against welfare ("if you can't afford the kids, you shouldn't have had them" crowd) will not want increases in taxes to fund the care for all these millions of kids that will now be born). If anti-abortion people were serious about stopping abortion, they would commit themselves to ONLY adopting -- not having children of their own. I don't believe in breeders selling dogs since there are so many unwanted dogs in shelters -- so I always adopt and refuse to buy a puppy. Surely, an anti-abortion person would be willing to do the same to end abortion, right?

The vast majority of abortions also happen to be performed on black women. The next largest group is Hispanic women. White women are way behind those groups. Those who are anti-abortion tend to be the same ones wanting a wall to be built to keep out illegal immigrants and also don't seem to be that fond of black people either (the whole welfare queen stereotype is their go to when arguing against welfare). If abortion is illegal, within a generation, you will start to see the ethnicity make up of the US change. Which isn't really a problem as long as you are not one of those people who worry that the white race is losing power in this country or that we are being over-run by brown people.

I try not to be hypocritical about abortion. I don't like it. I wouldn't personally have one. Doctors suspected my daughter had down's syndrome based on some soft markers, but the only way to know was to have an amnio. I didn't choose to do that because I knew that I would keep her and love her even if that was the case (turns out she didn't have it). However, if my situation had been like my cousin who had a child that they knew would be born with most of her organs outside the body and wasn't likely to make it, I would have had the abortion. They chose not to and the child suffered for the two years that they managed to keep her alive with machines and full time nursing care at home. My daughter (now 16), was 9 years old when she got her period (precocious puberty) and you can bet that if she had been taken advantage of at that age and got pregnant, I would have gotten her an abortion. Sure, I think abortion is evil, but sometimes it is the lesser evil.

As far as r*pe and incest -- that is a no-brainer. With incest, you are talking about the chance of genetic disorders (and even mental retardation). After all, that is how the insult "inbred" got started. In case of r*pe, what kind of monster would want to force a woman to carry a child produced by r*pe? Yes, the child would be innocent -- but that is no comfort to the r*pe victim. It would be like being raped every day for 9 months. And imagine if the rapist is a different race than you. Do you know how many times strangers would comment about that child looking like their dad? You think that this wouldn't trigger memories of the r*pe? Have you all never heard of PTSD? There are some cruel people here thinking that carrying a child after r*pe or incest should be no big deal. And what happens when that child grows up and finds out that their dad was a rapist or that their grandfather is their dad, too? Do you not know how psychologically damaging that is? Kids who are adopted struggle with the fact that they were abandoned. Can you imagine finding out that your mom gave you away because she was raped and never wanted you in the first place?
 

Damien50

Star
Joined
Apr 22, 2017
Messages
1,788
I don't understand why people can't understand that abortion is not a completely black/white issue. There are a ton of scenarios that fall into that gray area. For the record, I don't like abortion. I would agree that the majority of abortion probably is done because people didn't take enough precautions to not get pregnant in the first place. But even in those cases, sometimes it can be for something as simple as not using a back up method when you are on antibiotics, forgetting to take the pill one day, or using an old condom that has degraded (especially true if it is a teenage boy who has carried that condom around in his wallet for a year hoping to get lucky). Sometimes they can't afford birth control. I mean, we can't expect poor people to just not have sex. That is unrealistic. Plus, let's remember that teens (and even some adults) do some really dumb stuff. I once knew a girl who told me she and her boyfriend used saran wrap because they didn't have a condom. She obviously was not the brightest bulb --- so sometimes people really are too dumb to make the best decisions.

Still, I don't think people who are anti-abortion really have thought about the consequences of banning abortion. The vast majority of abortions are done by people who fall under the poverty line. If those kids are born, that means lots of welfare that needs to be paid out to support those kids if the mother keeps them or they end up in the foster care system. And the same people who are against welfare ("if you can't afford the kids, you shouldn't have had them" crowd) will not want increases in taxes to fund the care for all these millions of kids that will now be born). If anti-abortion people were serious about stopping abortion, they would commit themselves to ONLY adopting -- not having children of their own. I don't believe in breeders selling dogs since there are so many unwanted dogs in shelters -- so I always adopt and refuse to buy a puppy. Surely, an anti-abortion person would be willing to do the same to end abortion, right?

The vast majority of abortions also happen to be performed on black women. The next largest group is Hispanic women. White women are way behind those groups. Those who are anti-abortion tend to be the same ones wanting a wall to be built to keep out illegal immigrants and also don't seem to be that fond of black people either (the whole welfare queen stereotype is their go to when arguing against welfare). If abortion is illegal, within a generation, you will start to see the ethnicity make up of the US change. Which isn't really a problem as long as you are not one of those people who worry that the white race is losing power in this country or that we are being over-run by brown people.

I try not to be hypocritical about abortion. I don't like it. I wouldn't personally have one. Doctors suspected my daughter had down's syndrome based on some soft markers, but the only way to know was to have an amnio. I didn't choose to do that because I knew that I would keep her and love her even if that was the case (turns out she didn't have it). However, if my situation had been like my cousin who had a child that they knew would be born with most of her organs outside the body and wasn't likely to make it, I would have had the abortion. They chose not to and the child suffered for the two years that they managed to keep her alive with machines and full time nursing care at home. My daughter (now 16), was 9 years old when she got her period (precocious puberty) and you can bet that if she had been taken advantage of at that age and got pregnant, I would have gotten her an abortion. Sure, I think abortion is evil, but sometimes it is the lesser evil.

As far as r*pe and incest -- that is a no-brainer. With incest, you are talking about the chance of genetic disorders (and even mental retardation). After all, that is how the insult "inbred" got started. In case of r*pe, what kind of monster would want to force a woman to carry a child produced by r*pe? Yes, the child would be innocent -- but that is no comfort to the r*pe victim. It would be like being raped every day for 9 months. And imagine if the rapist is a different race than you. Do you know how many times strangers would comment about that child looking like their dad? You think that this wouldn't trigger memories of the r*pe? Have you all never heard of PTSD? There are some cruel people here thinking that carrying a child after r*pe or incest should be no big deal. And what happens when that child grows up and finds out that their dad was a rapist or that their grandfather is their dad, too? Do you not know how psychologically damaging that is? Kids who are adopted struggle with the fact that they were abandoned. Can you imagine finding out that your mom gave you away because she was raped and never wanted you in the first place?
It's a case of wanting to enforce certain beliefs and opinions but not willing to be responsible for the outcome but telling the individual who will be responsible that they have no say in the matter.
 

justjess

Superstar
Joined
Mar 16, 2017
Messages
11,510
As a mother of six and a Mormon, I have a good understanding of arguments surrounding abortion, religious and otherwise. When I hear men discussing women’s reproductive rights, I’m often left with the thought that they have zero interest in stopping abortion.
If you want to prevent abortion, you need to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Men seem unable (or unwilling) to admit that they cause 100% of them.
I realize that’s a bold statement. You’re likely thinking, “Wait. It takes two to tango!” While I fully agree with you in the case of intentional pregnancies, I argue that all unwanted pregnancies are caused by the irresponsible ejaculations of men. All of them.
Don’t believe me?
Let’s start with this: A woman’s egg is only fertile for about two days each month. Yes, there are exceptions, because nature. But one egg which is fertile two days each month is the baseline. And those fertile eggs are produced for a limited number of years. This means, on average, women are fertile for about 24 days per year.
But men are fertile 365 days a year. In fact, if you’re a man who ejaculates multiple times a day, you could cause multiple pregnancies daily. In theory, a man could cause 1000+ unwanted pregnancies in just one year. While it’s true that sperm gets crappier as men age, it doesn’t have a fertility expiration date; men can cause unwanted pregnancies from puberty until death. So, starting with basic fertility stats and the calendar, it’s easy to see that men are the issue here.
As a society, we really don’t mind if women suffer, physically or mentally, as long as it makes things easier for men.
“But what about birth control?” you might ask. “ If a woman can manage to figure out how to get an abortion, surely she can use birth control to avoid unwanted pregnancy, right?”
Great question. Modern birth control for women is possibly the most important invention of the last century, and I’m very grateful for it. It’s also brutal. The side effects for many women include migraines, mood swings, decreased libido, depression, severe cramps, heavy bleeding, aneurysm — and that’s just a small fraction of them.
Discouragingly, a promising study on a new male contraceptive was canceled in large part due to… (wait for it)… side effects. To be clear, this list of side effects was about one-third as long as the known side effects for commonly used women’s contraception. There’s a lot to unpack in that story alone. I’ll simply point out that, as a society, we really don’t mind if women suffer, physically or mentally, as long as it makes things easier for men.
But, men, I’ve got good news. Even with the horrible side effects, women are (amazingly!) very willing to use birth control. Unfortunately, it’s harder to get than it should be, but that doesn’t keep women from trying. Birth control options for women require a doctor’s appointment — sometimes multiple doctor’s appointments — and a prescription. They’re not always free, and often not cheap. Some are actually trying to make female birth control options more expensive by allowing insurance companies to refuse to cover them. In addition, contraceptive options for women can’t be easily acquired at the last minute. In most cases, they don’t work instantly.
The pill requires consistent daily use and doesn’t leave much room for mistakes, forgetfulness, or unexpected disruptions to daily schedules. Again, the side effects can be brutal — and not just in rare cases. Despite the hassle and side effects, I’m still grateful for birth control. (Please don’t take it away.) But it’s critical to understand that women’s birth control isn’t simple or easy.
In contrast, let’s look at birth control for men — i.e., condoms. They’re readily available at all hours, inexpensive, convenient, and don’t require a prescription. They’re effective and work on demand, instantly. They don’t cause aneurysms, mood swings, or debilitating cramps. Men can keep them stocked up just in case, so they’re always prepared. They can be easily used at the last minute. I mean, condoms are magic! So much easier than birth control options for women.
As a bonus, most women are totally on board with condoms. They keep us from getting STDs. They don’t lessen our pleasure during sex or prevent us from climaxing. The best part? Cleanup is so much easier — no waddling to the toilet as jizz drips down our legs.
So why would there ever be unwanted pregnancies? Why don’t men just use condoms every time they have sex? Seems so simple, right?
Oh. I remember. Men don’t love condoms. In fact, it’s very, very common for men to pressure women to have sex without a condom. It’s also not unheard of for men to remove the condom during sex without the women’s permission or knowledge. (Pro tip: That’s assault.)
Why would men want to have sex without a condom? Because, for the precious minutes when they’re penetrating their partner, not wearing a condom gives them more pleasure. So… that would mean some men are willing to risk getting a woman pregnant — which means literally risking her life, her health, her social status, her relationships, and her career — so they can experience a few minutes of slightly increased pleasure. Is this for real?
Yes. Yes, it is.
Pregnancies happen when men have an orgasm. Unwanted pregnancies happen when men orgasm irresponsibly.
Imagine a pleasure scale, with pain beginning at zero and going down into the negatives. A good back-scratch falls at 5, and an orgasm without a condom is a 10. Where would sex with a condom fall? A 7 or 8? So, it’s not that sex with a condom is not pleasurable, it’s just not as pleasurable. An 8 instead of a 10.
Let me emphasize that again: Men regularly choose to put women at massive risk in order to experience a few minutes of slightly increased pleasure.
For the truly condom-averse, men also have a non-condom, always-ready birth control option built right in: the pull-out. It doesn’t protect against STDs, it’s an easy joke, and it’s far from perfect. However, it’s 96% effective if done correctly, and 78% effective in practice (because it’s often not done correctly).
Still, many men who resist wearing condoms never learn how to pull out correctly. Apparently, it’s slightly more pleasurable to climax inside a vagina than, say, on their partner’s stomach. Once again, men are willing to risk the life, health, and well-being of women in order to experience a tiny bit more pleasure for roughly five seconds during orgasm.
Think of the choice men are making here. Honestly, I’m not as mad as I should be about this, because we’ve trained men from birth to disassociate sex and pregnancy. We’ve taught them that their pleasure is of utmost importance.
As a general rule, men get women pregnant by having an orgasm. Yes, there are exceptions — it’s possible for sperm to show up in pre-ejaculate — but in most cases, getting a woman pregnant is a pleasurable act for men. But men can get a woman pregnant without her feeling any pleasure at all. It’s even possible for a man to impregnate a woman while causing her excruciating pain, trauma, or horror.
In contrast, a woman can have nonstop orgasms with or without a partner and never once get herself pregnant. A woman’s orgasm has literally nothing to do with pregnancy or fertility — her clitoris exists simply for pleasure, not for creating new humans. No matter how many orgasms she has, they won’t make her pregnant.
Pregnancies happen when men have an orgasm. Unwanted pregnancies happen when men orgasm irresponsibly.
A woman can be the sluttiest slut in the entire world, she can love having orgasms all day and all night long, and she will never find herself with an unwanted pregnancy unless a man shows up and ejaculates irresponsibly. Though our society tends to villainize female pleasure, women’s enjoyment of sex does not equal unwanted pregnancy and abortion. Men’s enjoyment of sex and irresponsible ejaculations do.

Let’s move to the topic of responsibility. Often, men don’t know, don’t ask, and don’t think to ask if they’ve caused a pregnancy. There are often zero consequences for men who cause unwanted pregnancies.
If the woman decides to have an abortion, the man may never even know he caused an unwanted pregnancy with his irresponsible ejaculation. If the woman decides to have the baby, or put the baby up for adoption, the man may never know he caused an unwanted pregnancy with his irresponsible ejaculation either. He may never know there’s now a child walking around with 50% of his DNA.
If the woman does tell him he caused an unwanted pregnancy and that she’s having the baby, the closest thing to a consequence for him is child support. Our current child support system is a well-known joke. Only about 61 percent of required payments by men are actually made, and there are little to no repercussions for skipping out. In some states, failing to pay child support doesn’t even affect your credit.
If a man does pay child support, it doesn’t come close to what is required by a woman in the case of an unwanted pregnancy.
Let’s talk about abortion. When the topic comes up, men might think: Abortion is horrible; women should not have abortions. Never once do they consider the man who caused the unwanted pregnancy.
If you actually care about reducing or eliminating the number of abortions in our country, simply hold men accountable for their actions.
If we’re discussing abortion law — and not how to hold men accountable for irresponsible ejaculations, and the unwanted pregnancies caused by them — we’re wasting our time. Shift the conversation. Stop protesting at clinics. Stop shaming women. Stop debating whether or not to overturn abortion laws. If you actually care about reducing or eliminating the number of abortions in our country, simply hold men accountable for their actions.
What would that look like? A real and immediate consequence for men who cause an unwanted pregnancy. What kind of consequence would make sense? Should it be as harsh, painful, nauseating, scarring, expensive, risky, and life-altering…
… as forcing a woman to go through a nine-month unwanted pregnancy?
If you consider abortion to be murder, consider this thought experiment: Would you be on board with having a handful of men castrated to prevent 600,000 murders each year? If this argument sounds too provocative, could it be that many of us have a hard time wrapping our heads around a physical punishment for men? We seem to be more than fine with physical punishments for women. Perhaps we care more about policing women’s bodies, morality, and sexuality than we do about reducing or eliminating abortions.
Here’s another prevention idea: All males in the U.S. could get a vasectomy when they are ready to be sexually active. Vasectomies are very safe, highly reversible, and about as invasive as a woman getting an IUD implanted. In most cases, there’s some soreness afterwards for about 24 hours, but that’s pretty much it for side effects. (Take a moment to remember that female contraception options, used by millions of women in our country and billions across the world, have well-known side effects which can be brutal and severe — and yes, also include soreness.) If and when a man becomes a responsible adult, finds a mate, and wants to have a baby, the vasectomy can be reversed and then redone once the childbearing stage is over. Each man can bank their sperm before the vasectomy, just in case.
Don’t like my ideas? That’s fine. I’m sure there are better ideas, and I challenge you to suggest your own. My point is we need to stop focusing on women if we’re trying to get rid of abortions. Think of abortion as the “cure” for an unwanted pregnancy. To stop abortions, we need to prevent the “disease” — meaning, the unwanted pregnancy itself. And the only way to do that is by focusing on men, because irresponsible ejaculations by men cause 100% of unwanted pregnancy.
Ask yourselves: What would it take for you to value the life of your sexual partner more than your own temporary pleasure or convenience?
If you’re a man, what would it take for you to never again ejaculate irresponsibly? A loss of money, rights, or freedoms? Physical pain? Ask yourselves: What would it take for you to value the life of your sexual partner more than your own temporary pleasure or convenience?
Men mostly run our government, and men mostly make our laws. In theory, men could eliminate — or drastically reduce — abortions within months without ever touching an abortion law or even mentioning women. They’d simply need to hold men accountable for irresponsible ejaculations, and legislate accordingly.
To reduce or eliminate abortions, stop attempting to control women’s bodies and sexuality. Because unwanted pregnancies are caused by men.

https://humanparts.medium.com/men-cause-100-of-unwanted-pregnancies-eb0e8288a7e5
 

Scars512

Established
Joined
May 21, 2019
Messages
330
Great question. Modern birth control for women is possibly the most important invention of the last century, and I’m very grateful for it. It’s also brutal. The side effects for many women include migraines, mood swings, decreased libido, depression, severe cramps, heavy bleeding, aneurysm — and that’s just a small fraction of them.
I'm here giving you a standing ovation for that post.

I'm one of those women who had severe reactions to birth control. I had to stop taking the pill because it was giving me occular migraines (I lost vision in one eye) and it was basically a warning sign that I was ready to have a stroke. So, instead, I was given an IUD. The IUD caused me to have depression so severe that I attempted suicide. The Drs. didn't even consider that the IUD might be responsible. I was on medication and in therapy for over a year before I finally started researching it myself because I thought it wasn't just a coincidence that this happened after I had the IUD inserted and the medication didn't seem to be making any difference other than making me feel drugged all the time. My Dr. swore it wasn't possible for that to occur. The psychiatrist, though, said he had other patients who felt the same way and advised me to take it out to see if it helped. Once I had it taken out, I recovered. Several years later, they finally came out with a study that proved that the IUD I had inserted could actually cause severe depression in some women and that it happened quite frequently. After I had my IUD taken out, my husband got a vasectomy and honestly our sex life (and marriage, in general) improved so much after that because he was no longer married to a severely depressed woman who was incapable of enjoying sex or pretty much anything. And it was an easy surgery with a quick recovery. I wish we had taken that route first. We would have saved a lot of money on hospital bills and I wouldn't have lost time in my children's lives and my career because of what that IUD did to me.
 

justjess

Superstar
Joined
Mar 16, 2017
Messages
11,510
I’m sorry for everything you went through. It isn’t fair. My mother could not take the pill. I got pregnant on it twice despite taking it exactly as I was supposed to and at my current age it isn’t safe to take for anyone. I wish my husband would get a vasectomy, I’d be way more willing to have sex without being literally terrified every time of getting pregnant. Being pregnant itself is a health risk for me - I have MS and it’s highly likely to cause a massive relapse after giving birth due to the hormone fluctuations and stress on the body. But it isn’t fatal so screw me right?

I think there are quite a lot of people who need to take a cold hard look in the mirror and realize these are people’s lives they are trying to legislate away.
 

Watchin

Newbie
Joined
Jul 19, 2017
Messages
3
As a mother of six and a Mormon, I have a good understanding of arguments surrounding abortion, religious and otherwise. When I hear men discussing women’s reproductive rights, I’m often left with the thought that they have zero interest in stopping abortion.
If you want to prevent abortion, you need to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Men seem unable (or unwilling) to admit that they cause 100% of them.
I realize that’s a bold statement. You’re likely thinking, “Wait. It takes two to tango!” While I fully agree with you in the case of intentional pregnancies, I argue that all unwanted pregnancies are caused by the irresponsible ejaculations of men. All of them.
Don’t believe me?
Let’s start with this: A woman’s egg is only fertile for about two days each month. Yes, there are exceptions, because nature. But one egg which is fertile two days each month is the baseline. And those fertile eggs are produced for a limited number of years. This means, on average, women are fertile for about 24 days per year.
But men are fertile 365 days a year. In fact, if you’re a man who ejaculates multiple times a day, you could cause multiple pregnancies daily. In theory, a man could cause 1000+ unwanted pregnancies in just one year. While it’s true that sperm gets crappier as men age, it doesn’t have a fertility expiration date; men can cause unwanted pregnancies from puberty until death. So, starting with basic fertility stats and the calendar, it’s easy to see that men are the issue here.
As a society, we really don’t mind if women suffer, physically or mentally, as long as it makes things easier for men.
“But what about birth control?” you might ask. “ If a woman can manage to figure out how to get an abortion, surely she can use birth control to avoid unwanted pregnancy, right?”
Great question. Modern birth control for women is possibly the most important invention of the last century, and I’m very grateful for it. It’s also brutal. The side effects for many women include migraines, mood swings, decreased libido, depression, severe cramps, heavy bleeding, aneurysm — and that’s just a small fraction of them.
Discouragingly, a promising study on a new male contraceptive was canceled in large part due to… (wait for it)… side effects. To be clear, this list of side effects was about one-third as long as the known side effects for commonly used women’s contraception. There’s a lot to unpack in that story alone. I’ll simply point out that, as a society, we really don’t mind if women suffer, physically or mentally, as long as it makes things easier for men.
But, men, I’ve got good news. Even with the horrible side effects, women are (amazingly!) very willing to use birth control. Unfortunately, it’s harder to get than it should be, but that doesn’t keep women from trying. Birth control options for women require a doctor’s appointment — sometimes multiple doctor’s appointments — and a prescription. They’re not always free, and often not cheap. Some are actually trying to make female birth control options more expensive by allowing insurance companies to refuse to cover them. In addition, contraceptive options for women can’t be easily acquired at the last minute. In most cases, they don’t work instantly.
The pill requires consistent daily use and doesn’t leave much room for mistakes, forgetfulness, or unexpected disruptions to daily schedules. Again, the side effects can be brutal — and not just in rare cases. Despite the hassle and side effects, I’m still grateful for birth control. (Please don’t take it away.) But it’s critical to understand that women’s birth control isn’t simple or easy.
In contrast, let’s look at birth control for men — i.e., condoms. They’re readily available at all hours, inexpensive, convenient, and don’t require a prescription. They’re effective and work on demand, instantly. They don’t cause aneurysms, mood swings, or debilitating cramps. Men can keep them stocked up just in case, so they’re always prepared. They can be easily used at the last minute. I mean, condoms are magic! So much easier than birth control options for women.
As a bonus, most women are totally on board with condoms. They keep us from getting STDs. They don’t lessen our pleasure during sex or prevent us from climaxing. The best part? Cleanup is so much easier — no waddling to the toilet as jizz drips down our legs.
So why would there ever be unwanted pregnancies? Why don’t men just use condoms every time they have sex? Seems so simple, right?
Oh. I remember. Men don’t love condoms. In fact, it’s very, very common for men to pressure women to have sex without a condom. It’s also not unheard of for men to remove the condom during sex without the women’s permission or knowledge. (Pro tip: That’s assault.)
Why would men want to have sex without a condom? Because, for the precious minutes when they’re penetrating their partner, not wearing a condom gives them more pleasure. So… that would mean some men are willing to risk getting a woman pregnant — which means literally risking her life, her health, her social status, her relationships, and her career — so they can experience a few minutes of slightly increased pleasure. Is this for real?
Yes. Yes, it is.
Pregnancies happen when men have an orgasm. Unwanted pregnancies happen when men orgasm irresponsibly.
Imagine a pleasure scale, with pain beginning at zero and going down into the negatives. A good back-scratch falls at 5, and an orgasm without a condom is a 10. Where would sex with a condom fall? A 7 or 8? So, it’s not that sex with a condom is not pleasurable, it’s just not as pleasurable. An 8 instead of a 10.
Let me emphasize that again: Men regularly choose to put women at massive risk in order to experience a few minutes of slightly increased pleasure.
For the truly condom-averse, men also have a non-condom, always-ready birth control option built right in: the pull-out. It doesn’t protect against STDs, it’s an easy joke, and it’s far from perfect. However, it’s 96% effective if done correctly, and 78% effective in practice (because it’s often not done correctly).
Still, many men who resist wearing condoms never learn how to pull out correctly. Apparently, it’s slightly more pleasurable to climax inside a vagina than, say, on their partner’s stomach. Once again, men are willing to risk the life, health, and well-being of women in order to experience a tiny bit more pleasure for roughly five seconds during orgasm.
Think of the choice men are making here. Honestly, I’m not as mad as I should be about this, because we’ve trained men from birth to disassociate sex and pregnancy. We’ve taught them that their pleasure is of utmost importance.
As a general rule, men get women pregnant by having an orgasm. Yes, there are exceptions — it’s possible for sperm to show up in pre-ejaculate — but in most cases, getting a woman pregnant is a pleasurable act for men. But men can get a woman pregnant without her feeling any pleasure at all. It’s even possible for a man to impregnate a woman while causing her excruciating pain, trauma, or horror.
In contrast, a woman can have nonstop orgasms with or without a partner and never once get herself pregnant. A woman’s orgasm has literally nothing to do with pregnancy or fertility — her clitoris exists simply for pleasure, not for creating new humans. No matter how many orgasms she has, they won’t make her pregnant.
Pregnancies happen when men have an orgasm. Unwanted pregnancies happen when men orgasm irresponsibly.
A woman can be the sluttiest slut in the entire world, she can love having orgasms all day and all night long, and she will never find herself with an unwanted pregnancy unless a man shows up and ejaculates irresponsibly. Though our society tends to villainize female pleasure, women’s enjoyment of sex does not equal unwanted pregnancy and abortion. Men’s enjoyment of sex and irresponsible ejaculations do.

Let’s move to the topic of responsibility. Often, men don’t know, don’t ask, and don’t think to ask if they’ve caused a pregnancy. There are often zero consequences for men who cause unwanted pregnancies.
If the woman decides to have an abortion, the man may never even know he caused an unwanted pregnancy with his irresponsible ejaculation. If the woman decides to have the baby, or put the baby up for adoption, the man may never know he caused an unwanted pregnancy with his irresponsible ejaculation either. He may never know there’s now a child walking around with 50% of his DNA.
If the woman does tell him he caused an unwanted pregnancy and that she’s having the baby, the closest thing to a consequence for him is child support. Our current child support system is a well-known joke. Only about 61 percent of required payments by men are actually made, and there are little to no repercussions for skipping out. In some states, failing to pay child support doesn’t even affect your credit.
If a man does pay child support, it doesn’t come close to what is required by a woman in the case of an unwanted pregnancy.
Let’s talk about abortion. When the topic comes up, men might think: Abortion is horrible; women should not have abortions. Never once do they consider the man who caused the unwanted pregnancy.
If you actually care about reducing or eliminating the number of abortions in our country, simply hold men accountable for their actions.
If we’re discussing abortion law — and not how to hold men accountable for irresponsible ejaculations, and the unwanted pregnancies caused by them — we’re wasting our time. Shift the conversation. Stop protesting at clinics. Stop shaming women. Stop debating whether or not to overturn abortion laws. If you actually care about reducing or eliminating the number of abortions in our country, simply hold men accountable for their actions.
What would that look like? A real and immediate consequence for men who cause an unwanted pregnancy. What kind of consequence would make sense? Should it be as harsh, painful, nauseating, scarring, expensive, risky, and life-altering…
… as forcing a woman to go through a nine-month unwanted pregnancy?
If you consider abortion to be murder, consider this thought experiment: Would you be on board with having a handful of men castrated to prevent 600,000 murders each year? If this argument sounds too provocative, could it be that many of us have a hard time wrapping our heads around a physical punishment for men? We seem to be more than fine with physical punishments for women. Perhaps we care more about policing women’s bodies, morality, and sexuality than we do about reducing or eliminating abortions.
Here’s another prevention idea: All males in the U.S. could get a vasectomy when they are ready to be sexually active. Vasectomies are very safe, highly reversible, and about as invasive as a woman getting an IUD implanted. In most cases, there’s some soreness afterwards for about 24 hours, but that’s pretty much it for side effects. (Take a moment to remember that female contraception options, used by millions of women in our country and billions across the world, have well-known side effects which can be brutal and severe — and yes, also include soreness.) If and when a man becomes a responsible adult, finds a mate, and wants to have a baby, the vasectomy can be reversed and then redone once the childbearing stage is over. Each man can bank their sperm before the vasectomy, just in case.
Don’t like my ideas? That’s fine. I’m sure there are better ideas, and I challenge you to suggest your own. My point is we need to stop focusing on women if we’re trying to get rid of abortions. Think of abortion as the “cure” for an unwanted pregnancy. To stop abortions, we need to prevent the “disease” — meaning, the unwanted pregnancy itself. And the only way to do that is by focusing on men, because irresponsible ejaculations by men cause 100% of unwanted pregnancy.
Ask yourselves: What would it take for you to value the life of your sexual partner more than your own temporary pleasure or convenience?
If you’re a man, what would it take for you to never again ejaculate irresponsibly? A loss of money, rights, or freedoms? Physical pain? Ask yourselves: What would it take for you to value the life of your sexual partner more than your own temporary pleasure or convenience?
Men mostly run our government, and men mostly make our laws. In theory, men could eliminate — or drastically reduce — abortions within months without ever touching an abortion law or even mentioning women. They’d simply need to hold men accountable for irresponsible ejaculations, and legislate accordingly.
To reduce or eliminate abortions, stop attempting to control women’s bodies and sexuality. Because unwanted pregnancies are caused by men.

https://humanparts.medium.com/men-cause-100-of-unwanted-pregnancies-eb0e8288a7e5
You really do not present any argument. If a man refuses to wear a condom, or refuses to pull out, you are freely able to refuse sex. If you refuse and the man still continues, that is r*pe. In that case, yes, it is the mans fault. If you sleep with someone knowing there is a chance you could get pregnant, it is not solely the man's blame if it ends up happening.
 

Scars512

Established
Joined
May 21, 2019
Messages
330
I'm sorry to hear you have MS. That is a tough disease and I can only imagine how hard it is to raise kids when you are dealing with that, too. So, hats off to you for keeping it together. My husband was reluctant to have a vasectomy before -- I guess guys don't like having anything done to their junk. But, he doesn't like condoms and I was adamant that we had to use them. I had to quit my job when I got depressed and the job I had actually required a degree that I didn't possess (I had a degree in another field), but they made an exception for me. So, finding another job that paid that well was not likely and I didn't want to work just to spend all my money on daycare. Because daycare took half of my salary (and I made about $70K -- so I don't even know how minimum wage workers could ever manage it). So, we really couldn't afford another kid and I had 2 c-sections already (because my pelvis is too small to deliver babies) and I could only have 1 more anyway because it would be life threatening otherwise. So, it really was the only option for us at that point.

But, he said getting the vasectomy done was the best decision he made and has actually encouraged a couple of co-workers to do it, too. Because my attitude changed and my libido greatly increased once I didn't have any fear about getting pregnant. And he didn't have to deal with condoms anymore. I hope your husband will change his mind. It doesn't affect any sensation or anything for him to have the surgery done.
 

Lisa

Superstar
Joined
Mar 13, 2017
Messages
20,288
They aren't even babies when people get abortions. I'm pretty sure people can't get abortions when it's developed into a baby. Inside the woman are just sperm cells and a fertilized egg. But what about r*pe victims? I'm aware that people have previously mentioned war crime and women being violated in their own skin and yet you cease to care about the woman and what she must be going through. It is far better to abort a baby than to give birth to it and have it living in horrible conditions. What about meth addicts and crackheads and heroin addicts? Is it better to give birth to a child you know is going to suffer from deformities and live a rough life or better to let it go before there is anything to let go? What about a teen mother who has no money and no support from her parents or the baby's father? Better to suffer than to not be born?
What do you mean they aren’t even babies when their mother kilos them? What do those cells start once they come together? They start a little human, a baby. That’s why it used to be when a woman got pregnant people said she was having a baby. Now, people say these are just some unwanted cells. The truth is those cells once they come together, not before, before they come together they are cells, after they come together the baby has started. To me that is so powerful, wow! And egg and a sperm come together and a human being starts to be formed immediately...incredible!

What about r*pe victims? Is their baby the instigator of what happened to them? Is their baby the criminal here? Why should the baby lose its life for something it had nothing to do with? For something that is natural in that sex leads to having babies. Do, we really want to kill someone, end their life for the sins of the father? Is that right? I do feel bad about what the woman endured, however, I do think that 2 wrongs don’t make a right. I don’t feel that the woman needs the guilt of killing her baby on top of being raped.

Well, life doesn’t seem to be fair and sometimes gets pretty mean. Whether you want a baby or not. No one grows up in perfect settings, so why should we say that this imperfect setting means that the baby dies. Why does the baby always have to die? If we are gonna think like that, why don’t we say kill the mom? She’s going through something so terrible...lets end her life? But we don’t say that do we?

I don’t agree that its better to be killed than to suffer in life. Those people killed never were babies, never went to school, had friends, never grew up. You don’t know what their lives would have been like because people worry too much that it would be horrible, so lets spare everyone the terrribleness of a baby...when what did the baby do? What was its crime that they get the death penalty? I don’t understand that. People can overcome their sufferings. God, can help people overcome their sufferings...Nothing is impossible with God.
 

Lisa

Superstar
Joined
Mar 13, 2017
Messages
20,288
I think you are forgetting that people in those countries are also killed by their governments for their ends...its not just America all the time...That’s a little too convenient an excuse.

Yes, rehoming and murder? Why bring it up if you know its not the same? Lol! But if you plan to rehome your pet..beware who you tell. I was on the next door app and this person wants to rehome a dog...OMG!!! WWIII over her wanting to do that. Yet, we are supposed to not say anything about babies dying because that’s mean....

Making me happy? Do the right thing more like. Who cares if I’m happy? What matters is that the baby doesn’t die here. You don’t get a pass if you are raped and decide to abort your baby. You will still suffer with knowing you killed an innocent person through guilt. Then if you don’t confess your sins...you will suffer still. Ending someone’s life is no the answer to the problem.

Well, some people aren’t judgmental assholes, just telling people what God says is good and bad. We know that God will judge everyone, and that people should repent now and take his mercy and not go through with being thrown in the lake of fire where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth...just trying to help because I’d hate for anyone to go there, honestly.

Life isn’t fair. For anyone. Ever. Yet people are still allowed to live. Maybe they should take the mom’s life...it wasn’t fair she was raped...lets put her out of her misery? Yet, I doubt many would agree with that and they shouldn’t. Like people shouldn’t make decisions for people who can’t make their own decisions yet. Its not right nor fair to them.
 

Lisa

Superstar
Joined
Mar 13, 2017
Messages
20,288
Oklahoma Republican Declares That r*pe Is The ‘Will Of God’

http://churchandstate.org.uk/2017/04/oklahoma-republican-declares-that-r*pe-is-the-will-of-god/

“Well, you know, if you read the Bible, there’s actually a couple circumstances where that happened,” Faught said. “The Lord uses all circumstances. I mean, you can go down that path, but it’s a reality unfortunately.”
I don’t see how he meant that r*pe is the will of God. He says that it happens and that God uses those circumstances, that doesn’t say that he wills it. I think he should have said that God can use all circumstances for good.
 

Lisa

Superstar
Joined
Mar 13, 2017
Messages
20,288
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7075431/Democrats-advance-bill-expand-Illinois-abortion-rights.html

The war is on for the right to decide that babies can be killed and the opinion that life is sacred..well as sacred as life can get I suppose..since you can still abort if the mom’s life is at stake.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7032873/Democratic-2020-candidates-lash-Alabama-bill-making-abortion-felony.html

Then there is this...
Other Republican-controlled states, including Ohio, have passed less restrictive 'heartbeat bills' which effectively ban abortion after six weeks. So, I guess, you have to get it early enough to get the abortion without a problem.
 

Lisa

Superstar
Joined
Mar 13, 2017
Messages
20,288
A Pregnant Woman in Alabama Was Shot in the Stomach and Miscarried. Now, Alabama Cops Are Charging Her With Manslaughter.

https://reason.com/2019/06/27/a-pregnant-woman-in-alabama-was-shot-in-the-stomach-and-miscarried-now-alabama-cops-are-charging-her-with-manslaughter/?amp&__twitter_impression=true

This is where this madness is leading.
the 27-year-old woman survived, but her pregnancy did not.
That’s a weird way to say the baby died..but they did call the baby a fetus later in the sentence.

So, the lady starts a fight and is now held responsible for the baby being killed because she was shot? Yet, if she would abort the baby then all is fine...the world is getting crazier and crazier. More crazy is the person who shot her could not get indicted for manslaughter for killing the baby, but how could she when woman can kill their children in the womb without being charged for murder. Then the lady doesn’t even get charged for shooting someone in the stomach? o_O
 

justjess

Superstar
Joined
Mar 16, 2017
Messages
11,510
She (the shooter) can’t be charged because Alabama has a stand your ground law and the pregnant woman was determined to be the aggressor in the altercation.

https://www.usacarry.com/alabama_stand_your_ground_castle_doctrine_law.html

They shouldn’t be able to charge the pregnant woman with manslaughter. They should only charge her with starting the fight... actually they should charge the womanizing baby daddy who was the catalyst to all of this but that will never happen.

However I believe she was past viability so past where the law allows abortion. Idk. I haven’t seen something definitive on that. Fucked up case for sure.
 

justjess

Superstar
Joined
Mar 16, 2017
Messages
11,510
She (the shooter) can’t be charged because Alabama has a stand your ground law and the pregnant woman was determined to be the aggressor in the altercation.

https://www.usacarry.com/alabama_stand_your_ground_castle_doctrine_law.html

They shouldn’t be able to charge the pregnant woman with manslaughter. They should only charge her with starting the fight... actually they should charge the womanizing baby daddy who was the catalyst to all of this but that will never happen.

However I believe she was past viability so past where the law allows abortion. Idk. I haven’t seen something definitive on that. Fucked up case for sure.
Charges were dropped
 
Joined
Sep 5, 2018
Messages
3,259
Just so everyone is clear, I’m only here because my mother was pro-life. My parents had me in their late 30’s and it wasn’t planned. My mom already had two kids and my dad never wanted any.

Anyway a woman’s right to choose led to that decision, to tell you the truth if I could go back now I’d tell her my dad was right.

So think about it before you get on a pedestal.
 
Top