Deal Breakers

Moreaboutyou · Mar 14, 2019

In a relationship, do you mind your spouse having friends of the opposite sex?

If this is not a deal breaker, what is for you?

Mr.Anderson · Mar 15, 2019

Lately to me the dealbreaker is being a feminist. Thank God my gf isn't one and she is slowly seeing things the way I see (i.e. illuminati stuff)

Moreaboutyou · Mar 15, 2019

Mr.Anderson said:
Lately to me the dealbreaker is being a feminist. Thank God my gf isn't one and she is slowly seeing things the way I see (i.e. illuminati stuff)

That is interesting. Do you think that real feminism exists or is it all bullocks?

Todd · Mar 15, 2019

No such thing as a deal breaker for me. Of course I have been in a wonderful marriage for over 20 years, so I have a bit more confidence than most people to say this. Adultery is probably the only thing that could truly shake my marriage enough to be a deal breaker. But even then it would have to be a situation when confronted she was unwilling to deal with and brazenly continued. Anything else I would remain committed to the relationship and seek healing and forgiveness.

Because of my confidence in our relationship I have no problem with my wife having friends of the opposite sex, as long as the relationship was carried out in an appropriate manner. For examnple I wouldn't expect my wife to be in any situation that could be viewed from an outsider as a date and I wouldn't expect my wife to be having long personal discussions on the phome with another man. But having friends in the work environment for example, that our the opposite sex is not a problem.

Mr.Anderson · Mar 15, 2019

Moreaboutyou said:
That is interesting. Do you think that real feminism exists or is it all bullocks?

I think that feminism today isn't the same as it was decades ago as it is no longer a quest for equal rights and oportunities, at least here in Brazil, and what we see is unveiled satanism (see "xereca satânica", it means "satanic p_ss_") and women acting like animals defecating in public and they call it "political activism". So anything remotely related to that was a big no-no.

There was a teacher here called Heley de Abreu that died while she saved 25 children from an terrorist who immolated himself and other children in a school and all the people who call themselves feminists ignore her bravery

And on a personal side, an ex friend of mine who is a feminist once asked my gf at their colleged "how do you tolerate dating Anderson? He is WHITE, MALE, RICH AND HE-TE-RO-SE-XU-AL". And we used to be friends until like 15 days before this and her bf is an engineer working as a federal employee who is also male, white and heterosexual. Bah. So at least to me this is what feminism is about today.

Dalit · Mar 15, 2019

Moreaboutyou said:
In a relationship, do you mind your spouse having friends of the opposite sex?

If this is not a deal breaker, what is for you?

You have to ask yourself and your spouse what your motives are in having opposite sex friends. If it's to feed your ego and prove your attractiveness, don't do it.

Moreaboutyou · Mar 18, 2019

Dalit said:
You have to ask yourself and your spouse what your motives are in having opposite sex friends. If it's to feed your ego and prove your attractiveness, don't do it.

I agree. I personally think that it is okay if the friendship was had before the relationship and has always been platonic. No new friends of the opposite sex for me (in a sense of hanging out and speaking regularly)

Dalit · Mar 18, 2019

Moreaboutyou said:
I agree. I personally think that it is okay if the friendship was had before the relationship and has always been platonic. No new friends of the opposite sex for me (in a sense of hanging out and speaking regularly)

That's smart.

Claire Rousseau · Mar 18, 2019

Moreaboutyou said:
In a relationship, do you mind your spouse having friends of the opposite sex?

If this is not a deal breaker, what is for you?

My husband & I mutually agree against having friends of the opposite sex, which was something we discussed before we got married.

We just find it inappropriate.

Thankfully, we haven’t had any serious marriage problems in our 19 years of marriage so far, and I cannot think of anything that we couldn’t eventually work through. Adultery would be a tough one, but I don’t know if it’s a dealbreaker, as I am pretty forgiving. I hope I never have to experience it, though.

Probably the only thing that I would seriously consider leaving my husband for is if he started beating me or our children. If I am afraid for my life and my kids’ lives, I would divorce him, but Biblically, I could never remarry if I did.

We’re the “til death do us part” kind of couple.

Moreaboutyou · Mar 19, 2019

Todd said:
No such thing as a deal breaker for me. Of course I have been in a wonderful marriage for over 20 years, so I have a bit more confidence than most people to say this. Adultery is probably the only thing that could truly shake my marriage enough to be a deal breaker. But even then it would have to be a situation when confronted she was unwilling to deal with and brazenly continued. Anything else I would remain committed to the relationship and seek healing and forgiveness.

Because of my confidence in our relationship I have no problem with my wife having friends of the opposite sex, as long as the relationship was carried out in an appropriate manner. For examnple I wouldn't expect my wife to be in any situation that could be viewed from an outsider as a date and I wouldn't expect my wife to be having long personal discussions on the phome with another man. But having friends in the work environment for example, that our the opposite sex is not a problem.

This is beautiful. I am happy that you have such a healthy relationship. I appreciate you sharing. I think we have a lot to learn from successful relationships like yours

Moreaboutyou · Mar 19, 2019

Mr.Anderson said:
I think that feminism today isn't the same as it was decades ago as it is no longer a quest for equal rights and oportunities, at least here in Brazil, and what we see is unveiled satanism (see "xereca satânica", it means "satanic p_ss_") and women acting like animals defecating in public and they call it "political activism". So anything remotely related to that was a big no-no.

There was a teacher here called Heley de Abreu that died while she saved 25 children from an terrorist who immolated himself and other children in a school and all the people who call themselves feminists ignore her bravery

And on a personal side, an ex friend of mine who is a feminist once asked my gf at their colleged "how do you tolerate dating Anderson? He is WHITE, MALE, RICH AND HE-TE-RO-SE-XU-AL". And we used to be friends until like 15 days before this and her bf is an engineer working as a federal employee who is also male, white and heterosexual. Bah. So at least to me this is what feminism is about today.

WOW! That is crazy. feminism and male hatred seem to go hand and hand these days. Good riddance to your friend. That type of mentality is dangerous to have so close to your inner circle.
Women pooping in the streets!!? You've got to be kidding me

Moreaboutyou · Mar 19, 2019

Claire Rousseau said:
My husband & I mutually agree against having friends of the opposite sex, which was something we discussed before we got married.

We just find it inappropriate.

Thankfully, we haven’t had any serious marriage problems in our 19 years of marriage so far, and I cannot think of anything that we couldn’t eventually work through. Adultery would be a tough one, but I don’t know if it’s a dealbreaker, as I am pretty forgiving. I hope I never have to experience it, though.

Probably the only thing that I would seriously consider leaving my husband for is if he started beating me or our children. If I am afraid for my life and my kids’ lives, I would divorce him, but Biblically, I could never remarry if I did.

We’re the “til death do us part” kind of couple.

WOW! Rare indeed. I think it is important for couples to agree on the boundaries set. Truly there is not right or wrong answer as long as both parties agree.
As far as never remarrying I find that fascinating. What scripture do you base that off of? I admire that dedication, even if he ruined the relationship you would not remarry. That is legit!

Corvus Metus · Mar 19, 2019

No. Having sex with friends of the opposite sex would be a deal breaker.

Moreaboutyou · Mar 19, 2019

Corvus Metus said:
No. Having sex with friends of the opposite sex would be a deal breaker.

Yes, I feel very similarly. Are you currently in a relationship? It seems that most people that have replied do not have deal breakers for their spouse. It seems unhealthy to have semi ultimatums.

Dalit · Mar 19, 2019

Just for fun.

Claire Rousseau · Mar 19, 2019

Moreaboutyou said:
WOW! Rare indeed. I think it is important for couples to agree on the boundaries set. Truly there is not right or wrong answer as long as both parties agree.
As far as never remarrying I find that fascinating. What scripture do you base that off of? I admire that dedication, even if he ruined the relationship you would not remarry. That is legit!

God hates divorce, and expects people to stay married to the same person until death, & if a person gets a divorce, then remarries, it is considered adultery, even if my husband filed for divorce and I didn’t want the divorce.

Also, if a person has never been married, but married a person who has had a divorce, they are still both committing adultery.

“Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.”......Luke 16:18 KJB

“And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.”..........Mark 10:11-12 KJB

Moreaboutyou · Mar 19, 2019

Claire Rousseau said:
God hates divorce, and expects people to stay married to the same person until death, & if a person gets a divorce, then remarries, it is considered adultery, even if my husband filed for divorce and I didn’t want the divorce.

Also, if a person has never been married, but married a person who has had a divorce, they are still both committing adultery.

“Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.”......Luke 16:18 KJB

“And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.”..........Mark 10:11-12 KJB

Very interesting indeed. Thank you for the scriptures also! I pray that you and your husband share may more years of bliss. I am proud of the both of you for the dedication you share for your relationship. I hope that I too can share a marriage like that on day.

Moreaboutyou · Mar 19, 2019

Dalit said:
Just for fun.

I always wonder how people danced to this. Or was this not a song played in the club?? LOL thanks for the share

)

Corvus Metus · Mar 19, 2019

Moreaboutyou said:
Yes, I feel very similarly. Are you currently in a relationship? It seems that most people that have replied do not have deal breakers for their spouse. It seems unhealthy to have semi ultimatums.

Not currently, no. I've got more than a few friends of the opposite sex, though. And I can't imagine any of them ever being lovers because it would be like dating a sibling. Yuck.

Claire Rousseau · Mar 20, 2019

Moreaboutyou said:
Very interesting indeed. Thank you for the scriptures also! I pray that you and your husband share may more years of bliss. I am proud of the both of you for the dedication you share for your relationship. I hope that I too can share a marriage like that on day.

You are very welcome!

I pray that God blesses you with a loyal, loving, God-fearing wife that respects & submits to you, and that you can grow old with one day.

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