This post I came across was well done. Seems like a poetic piece. Very humorous.
A bed-wetting simpleton, he cowers in his home, pleading for the nation to be locked down and the disobedient masses to be locked up.
He lacks any original thought, any spine or skepticism. Yet he never lacks toilet paper, having dutifully stockpiled roll upon roll just like the stampeding hordes on his television screen. Perhaps intuitively he knows just how full of s*** he truly is. Best to be prepared.
He wrings and sanitizes his hands with equal fury, yet they never wash clean.
His face masked and shielded, his eyes goggled, his hands gloved, he remains socially distanced from his peers and reality, sheltered in place.
He is immune to rational discourse, and he seeks to stifle the voices of any who question his paranoia, just as his own feeble voice is stifled by the muzzle pulled tight across his face.
Oxygen-deprived and depraved, he staggers on, guided by the latest hysterical pronouncements from his health authorities. Wash your hands, cover your mouth – no directive is too juvenile for this intellectual infant. He follows their lead and their science. He will never stray from the herd, never break from their ranks.
He tests himself daily, as one can never be too careful. Perhaps he is an asymptomatic carrier, the invisible enemy!
He pines for the vaccine, that incredible elixir of heavy metals and light-headedness. No list of side effects is too long, no clinical trial is too short.
95% effective! 2 weeks to flatten the curve! These simple slogans slide effortlessly into his simple mind, just as the test swabs penetrate his quivering nostrils and anus.
99.85% survival rate? Must be fake news. Two-digit statistics are the absolute limit for his two-digit IQ.
Only zero COVID will suffice, full vaccination, full domination. An end to mortality, and freedom.
The COVID man.