Taemin's biggest insecurity is that for the majority of his career the 'soft boy' image stuck when inside he feels like a man (Kpop fans, especially Sh_wols are notorious for ignoring the signs of problems in their idols, instead sexualising them).
He has two big insecurities:
1) He hates the 'soft boy' image stuck.
2) Not being taken seriously because of that, which cost him some things.
- His lines in songs were cut out in the past because his 'vocals weren't good enough'
- He was always given the feminine role, so not being taken seriously.
Minzy is an opposite example, and when she left 2NE1, she exclaimed continuously how she 'loves' doing feminine things and feels 'happy' to sing 'happy' songs. Truth be told for most of them (unless they are gay) keeping this role for a decade is suffocating for them. It was merely a phase for Minzy and Taemin.
- His stage presence was forcibly reduced for the other members to outshine him.
After all, he was merely a genderbending 'visual'. If you search (actually don't) online of the jonghyun + taemin where jonghyun was shirtless who has the most stage presence? Not him. He was merely a stage prop to push whatever agenda the company wanted.
- His talent of dancing is overshadowed by his other members
Over a course of a decade these feelings bubbled up until they reached a boiling point.
So let's say one day he was offered a deal to totally change his image and get the leading role. . .but it came with a hefty price - would he agree to it? And what would the "price" be?
[When he did accept the role of Super M, don't forget he was first by the company to be offered the 'leader' role. . .but he rejected it. This is because his goal was not to be a leader - his goal has and was always to shed his old image and to be taken seriously as a MAN. He wants to assume no real responsibility at all.]
Let's see after Super M:
- He gets many lines in songs
- Now he has masculine role on the MVs and stage (they even tried to make him leader)
- he has the most stage time now (even in the MVs)
- He is able to express his dancing ability
- Now he is part of a 'super' group with top members
Indeed he did have Albums before Jonghyun's death, but he was attached to Shinee, and his old image with it. It was apparent to him at that point that needed to move on.
I believe although he got an image boost and is more popular, he is still seen by his fans as a 'baby'. No matter what he does, he cannot seem to shed this image. This is because he still has to (forced by company) to do particular Instagram lives and to do fan meets. And he cannot really change his face to be like Jonghyun, who naturally has a manly image (probably explains why he imitates him a lot).
The problem in the Kpop industry is men need to feminize their image to create a parasocial relationship with fans, as it's the bread and butter of the industry. They cannot be seen as aggressive...or in other words as manly. They have to come across as open and familiar. This is why idols try to act 'average' and normal (relatable) despite living a lifestyle many will never hope to achieve because 'similarness' is one way to increase chances of attraction with idol. This is what Jennifer Lawrence tried to do, but many saw her lies after the Harvey scandal (she obviously slept with him for roles. . .makes you think about kpop huh?)
This is why 'relatable' youtubers get more fans, and why celebrities these days try to do direct fan cams with fans. Fandoms are a business first and foremost to them. Heck even the Kardashians do it. And Fandoms are a constant source of income to the company, so no doubt they are made to do this. Fandoms even give companies ideas for next product, so appeasing them is important.
But by doing that Taemin is essentially keeping the 'baby' image alive and only being seen for his looks beyond talent. Taemin was under the impression it was because of his 'shinee' image that was the reason, but clearly since the label STILL is there it's actually down to his visuals. I think moving beyond this image is a struggle for a lot of the male idols in the industry and in America it's why you see some idols go a little crazy when they reach their late teens.
V from B_t_s used to do this baby act too...but he got tired of it and doesn't even pretend anymore. This act is tiring on anyone and doing it for a decade can cause all kinds of mental health problems to bubble up. When V got to a level where they were too big to fail, he knew he made it and dropped the act, along with Su_ga and his false 'sleepy' role.
The companies are responsible for the image the idol has. And when it doesn't match reality, problems can result. (times that by two when they reach the position they want but still feel empty or incomplete).
When Jaejoong who suffered the same issue (being focused visuals over talent) met with a blind fan, he broke down in tears:
This could be seen as acting, but Jaejoong was the visual and visuals are notorious for having their visual overshadow their actual talent. So knowing someone actually likes them for their talent and not sexuality/image is refreshing for them.
When these idols are forced to show one face, when in reality they are really another, the conflict mentally can turn them to become suicidal. If they don't resolve these feelings the cracks in their persona will begin to show and then you'll hear news like 'X idol is injured' or 'Y idol is taking a break'. . .the company wouldn't give break to an idol randomly unless they have a mental health problem that makes it impossible for them to work properly. We know they force injured idols to perform so if you hear string of news like that for an idol know the story is BS or a cover for something worse. They probably don't want to scare off investors so have to keep the truth under wraps.
If the idol doesn't gain autonomy in the industry after a decade, especially if their image is all over the place, they may have trouble in their career. They must come to terms with the fact that their 'persona' is an image, an 'alter ego' if you will and that the fans are in love with the image. Most celebs talk about this alter ego, some say it's mk ultra, but that is hard to say.
Jonghyun is a good example of someone who everyone loved, but nobody knew. Nobody could know him because the idol industry is such that if you show your true emotions, especially in a country that is averse to mental health, you could be seen as a problematic idol. Sulli is an example of this.
Back to Taemin: do not believe the insta lives or tweets aren't coordinated by his company, because they certainly are. Their job continues through the night, they signed their life away after all. He needs to reassure his fans that he is ok, and to keep the image alive. Also that Instagram pics was clearly given by the company. You really think he has time to make a stock pictures account and search for the perfect image on his socials? You already know that's BS.
Also his 'wrist' injury is suspicious. Perhaps the insta lives are to cover up the real reason. Now he is age 27, it would be wise to be wary of the moves of SM this year. Also for someone like Taemin who is a big idol now, they will make him do a comeback. He isn't a backup member anymore and Taemin is usually good at pretending he is fine so the show must go on.
Also don't get me wrong, I don't exactly think he is a good person. I think he is a good dancer, and good at having a certain 'innocent' face on his socials, and that's all. Korea as a country overall seems to be the testing ground for the coming world order so noticing how the country and companies operate will help us to see what's coming to the world in the future, and who these people are really controlled by.
The reason why I am suspicious of him is obviously because of Jonghyun. When I look around Jonghyun the person whose career took off straight after his death is him. IU is extremely suspicious too. But also by observing his character yesterday we can see how controlled he really is, but most of his fans are too blinded by the visuals to care. We can also learn a little more about the industry and the way it operates. In the future there will be idols who don't care about NDAs completely exposing the industry, giving forums like this more fuel to connect the dots. But for now we must wait for the truth about the industry to come out.
Also I do believe, male and female, sleep with execs to get a certain role or position. Not saying Taemin has, but you know Korea is a tightly knit country. They probably have a strict system in that industry where taking the fast last is possible...but requires some 'sacrifices'. . .