Marriage

[Moreaboutyou]

Sucks that kids are used as bait in that situation. Well I hope it works for your bro. Sorry to hear and thoughts definitely sent his way

Yeah man, we don't get to see the girls at all now. Yeah I am praying for him too. Hope it all can turn around.

 

[Moreaboutyou]

So.... I got married.

Currently in the middle of not being spoken too for the past three days. I re read these posts and can’t believe that I am in this situation. I have filed for divorce but I can honestly say there’s still a part of me hoping he will change. Lol you all told me this would happen but I went through anyways and wasted three years of my life. It’s not over yet as I have to pull the trigger, but I’m starting to realize that I do not want this. Oui vey.

 

[Lisa]

So.... I got married.

Currently in the middle of not being spoken too for the past three days. I re read these posts and can’t believe that I am in this situation. I have filed for divorce but I can honestly say there’s still a part of me hoping he will change. Lol you all told me this would happen but I went through anyways and wasted three years of my life. It’s not over yet as I have to pull the trigger, but I’m starting to realize that I do not want this. Oui vey.

You filed for divorce because your spouse hasn’t spoken to you for three days?

 

[Moreaboutyou]

You filed for divorce because your spouse hasn’t spoken to you for three days?

I filed for divorce because it keeps happening, weekly. If he is upset I find myself alone for days. I can’t take it. We’ve talked about it since it first happened and it hasn’t stopped. If he is upset I either get the silent treatment for days or venom hurled at me. I don’t want to divorce but I also want to be healthy

 

[Lisa]

I filed for divorce because it keeps happening, weekly. If he is upset I find myself alone for days. I can’t take it. We’ve talked about it since it first happened and it hasn’t stopped. If he is upset I either get the silent treatment for days or venom hurled at me. I don’t want to divorce but I also want to be healthy

Are you a Christian? If so, I would suggest prayer before divorce.

 

[Moreaboutyou]

Are you a Christian? If so, I would suggest prayer before divorce.

Thank you, I will do that.

 

[Lisa]

Thank you, I will do that.

May God help you in your time of need and help you to do his will as He works to save your marriage. May God bless you and keep you..may the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you and be your rock as you pray and seek His counsel..In Jesus name I pray..Amen!

 

[morita]

So.... I got married.

Currently in the middle of not being spoken too for the past three days. I re read these posts and can’t believe that I am in this situation. I have filed for divorce but I can honestly say there’s still a part of me hoping he will change. Lol you all told me this would happen but I went through anyways and wasted three years of my life. It’s not over yet as I have to pull the trigger, but I’m starting to realize that I do not want this. Oui vey.

We all make mistakes, the most important is to learn from them.
From what you said, it seems like dude was already married, but to his own ego.

 

[Moreaboutyou]

We all make mistakes, the most important is to learn from them.
From what you said, it seems like dude was already married, but with his own ego.

Yes times one million. I appreciate you

 

[Minx]

Please do not feel pressured into staying in a marriage that you already know is bad for you. From what you have said here in the last several months, it is unlikely to get better - no matter how hard you try or how much you pray.

I’m going to quote you from back in October:

“Some ppl should absolutely get divorced and I am sure God is wise enough to know when that is/was the case.”

I agree. I do not believe that God would want you to suffer any more than you already have. That would be cruel, and I don’t know about you, but I think God is a loving being not a cruel one.

What would you tell a friend that was in your shoes? I would strongly suggest that you cut your losses and do right by you. You deserve to be happy. Take time to heal yourself. Figure out why you feel that you somehow deserve pain and suffering. Someday when you are whole again, and you love and respect yourself, a good man will come into your life.

Please don’t condemn yourself to a lifetime of loneliness and misery.

 

[Moreaboutyou]

Please do not feel pressured into staying in a marriage that you already know is bad for you. From what you have said here in the last several months, it is unlikely to get better - no matter how hard you try or how much you pray.

I’m going to quote you from back in October:

“Some ppl should absolutely get divorced and I am sure God is wise enough to know when that is/was the case.”

I agree. I do not believe that God would want you to suffer any more than you already have. That would be cruel, and I don’t know about you, but I think God is a loving being not a cruel one.

What would you tell a friend that was in your shoes? I would strongly suggest that you cut your losses and do right by you. You deserve to be happy. Take time to heal yourself. Figure out why you feel that you somehow deserve pain and suffering. Someday when you are whole again, and you love and respect yourself, a good man will come into your life.

Please don’t condemn yourself to a lifetime of loneliness and misery.

thank you so much. I feel like you actually get it. I will always pray to God, but I feel sometimes he gives me the info I need to make decisions myself. I’m not sure where I’m going next and I’m scared of the future, but I want a healthy life with a healthy spouse. Again thank you for taking the time to write me. More helpful than you know

 

[Lisa]

So...the consensus is that @Moreaboutyou should get out now? No wonder marriages don’t last..

 

[justjess]

So...the consensus is that @Moreaboutyou should get out now? No wonder marriages don’t last..

She never should have married him.

 

[Lisa]

She never should have married him.

Possibly...but what does that have to do with anything because she has married him?

 

[justjess]

Possibly...but what does that have to do with anything because she has married him?

Lisa... I don’t do divorce personally. I’m stubborn as all hell if you haven’t noticed. But if someone’s making you miserable there is no reason to subject yourself to that for the rest of your life. If she feels she should divorce, she knows what’s best for herself. Personally I’d seperate first... but he sounds like an abusive prick and abusive pricks will pretend to change just long enough to get you back and then your right back where you started. I understand that you chose to stay and after decades things improved. Everyone’s mental state can not withstand twenty years of abuse and misery.

 

[Lisa]

Lisa... I don’t do divorce personally. I’m stubborn as all hell if you haven’t noticed. But if someone’s making you miserable there is no reason to subject yourself to that for the rest of your life. If she feels she should divorce, she knows what’s best for herself. Personally I’d seperate first... but he sounds like an abusive prick and abusive pricks will pretend to change just long enough to get you back and then your right back where you started. I understand that you choose to stay and after decades things improved. Everyone’s mental state can not withstand twenty years of abuse and misery.

If you divorce someone every time you don‘t like their behavior towards you..you won’t be married for very long...and the next guy has faults too. People do change..she might not have to wait 20 years..but I definitely would start with prayer...God’s the one that can fix this and help you with your own problems too.

 

[justjess]

If you divorce someone every time you don‘t like their behavior towards you..you won’t be married for very long...and the next guy has faults too. People do change..she might not have to wait 20 years..but I definitely would start with prayer...God’s the one that can fix this and help you with your own problems too.

She’s been dealing with it for three years already. God knows how long prior to their marriage. Prayers. Went to marriage counseling in the church. That’s hardly “divorcing someone every time you don’t like their behavior”

and what problems exactly would I need god to help me with? Lol. I don’t recall having any

 

[Lisa]

She’s been dealing with it for three years already. God knows how long prior to their marriage. Prayers Went to marriage counseling in the church. That’s hardly “divorcing someone every time you don’t like their behavior”

and what problems exactly would I need god to help me with? Lol. I don’t recall having any

I meant your in the general sense..not necessarily you..but God can also help you personally Jess. I’m sure you have problems..everyone does.

Depends on who she’s actually praying to too. I don’t think she’s a Christian..that matters. I saw she posted in a muslim thread..so maybe she’s muslim..and if so..that could explain the cold shoulder thing she gets. I thought that’s what muslim men are supposed to do with a disobedient wife?

 

[Moreaboutyou]

So...the consensus is that @Moreaboutyou should get out now? No wonder marriages don’t last..

Lisa, respectfully, no one is telling me to do anything. People are telling me that emotional abuse is not okay, and if I can’t be healthy in the relationship it is okay to leave. Your sarcastic statements are not helpful to me in this trying situation or very kind.

 

[Moreaboutyou]

If you divorce someone every time you don‘t like their behavior towards you..you won’t be married for very long...and the next guy has faults too. People do change..she might not have to wait 20 years..but I definitely would start with prayer...God’s the one that can fix this and help you with your own problems too.

Abuse is not just “some behavior,” as you put it. You know barely anything about my situation, yet you feel the need to judge me and Even what I will do in my future. This is why people don’t go to the church for emotional help, because it is some how my fault and my duty to deal with abuse. God is sovereign, how do you know what God has told me to do? You are assuming that I have not prayed. You are assuming a lot actually and you know what assuming makes you look like...