I have a friend..

[Vixy]

Hey bright friends of the forum!


I have had a longterm problem with a friend of mine I cannot come up with a solution for so thought I'd ask other bright minds to help me think of a solution.

It is so that I have a friend and have known this friend since around 2011. She has the diagnosis schizoaffective disorder and gets psychotic in episodes where she does the craziest things as in examples below and gets fetched by the police or military police. They then place her in the psych ward and pump her full of meds, she comes out all out of it, her psychiatrist continues the medication, her mother tells her it's poison because her mother seems to be strange aswell. her mother is on disability but won't say why so I suspect she might be a mental case aswell. She then stops taking the medication and the cycle continues of arrests and crazy behaviour.

Incident no 1

In 2013 This happened: https://www.hd.se/2013-11-13/kvinna-greps-efter-tumult The headline says "Turmoil on the street of Furutorp"

She has three children by a druguser and had just had a child social services were about to take into foster care like her other two children because of her behaviour so she ran to Norway with the newborn where a family took her in for a few weeks until they couldnt take her religious babble and her trying to convince other people about the "true name of the lord" so they kicked her out. She then wandered the streets of Norway and ended up in the lobby of a Hotel with the baby until she gave up and came home. But at home her ex boyfriend had prewarned social services of her return so they knocked on the door only hours upon arrival.

She refused to open and death threatened the social worker so they called the military police who then contacted the landlord who opened the door and she had by then barricated herself in the bedroom. The MP took an ax and chopped the door open so they could negotiate through the hole. She was on the bed, holding the baby, threatening to slash it's throat if they came in and took it.

Finally around ten PM she got tired and gave up and when she came out the MP threw a shock grenade that knocked her unconscious (according to her) and they grabbed the baby from her and drove her to the psych ward where she again was pumped up with drugs and released. She of course lost custody even of this child.

Incident no 2

She had climbed up the roof of her building and threw down a suitcase and keyes screaming she wanted to die. Her neighbour heard this and called the police who came and got her and drove her to the psych ward..again pumped her full of drugs and released her a month later.

Incident no 3

She just a week ago was arrested again for stealing a dog and the owner calling the police. She called me from psych laughing and saying "I thought it was so cute!" When I wasn't amused, she hung up. She doesn't seem to understand nor care that those things are illegal and that she will be arrested.

Incident no 4

She still had the custody of her one child back when this happened, visiting a mall holding and her screaming baby. A lady noticed the child was in agony and approached her saying she thought the child might be thirsty. She snapped and yelled "DON'T INTERFERE!!" But the lady wouldnt give up and followed her through the mall. She the snapped again, clocking her in the eye and throwing a hot dog on her coat. She was sentenced for assault and to pay a fine. Her parents paied the fine. She kept telling me "It's for the dry cleaners but it does NOT cost that much to have it dry cleaned!" She didn't at all understand it was a fine for having assaulted the lady who had just gotten cured from cancer aswell so it was a double burden on the aged lady.

Background:

She had a child back in 09 I think who was taken into foster care by social services because of her erractic behaviour. She then had a second child who was also taken into foster care and she cannot understand why. She told me once "I can be a good mother although I'm on amphetamine!" I could hardly believe my ears. She abuses drugs in periods so it's a case of mental illness with druguse and her ex boyfriend whom she stalks and refuses to let go, also uses. I've seen numerous texts from him asking her to "Please leave me alone" But it's like she doesnt listen. She goes to him and rings his bell, hammers the door and yells and listens through his mail slide although he even have other women in there. She does not respect anyones wishes but her own. She even heard him explaining to his new girlfriend that she was a mentally ill ex of his, and despite that, she still stalks him. He has stolen from her, conned her, beat her and psyched her down, it does not matter, she never leaves him alone.

Her parents keep sending her money she then shops at flea markets for, completely unneccesary things she doesnt even need and loads of toys for the children she's not even allowed to meet. Social services have put a ban on her even talking to her children over the phone because while she still had supervised visitation rights with them, she grabbed her daughter by the arm and ran off with her, luckily being stopped in the elevator. So she is not trusted to see them anymore, the children even have classified adresses so she cannot look them up and kidnap them. I really feel for social services, I do.

She sends threatening letters to social services about satan running them and asked me to come with her and smash the windows of their building -Yet she calls herself a christian and visits churches who one by one have forbid her to come back. She keeps violating those wishes. Jehovas Witnesses got scared of her and came with an elderly (like a priest) who explained they don't share the same believes and that she couldn't come back. The week after she was back at their meetings..eventually they gave up and let her come anyway but don't engage with her.

She often comes by my place although I've told her several times I don't wish to have any furthur contact and never open the door. She still stands outside ringing my bell, no respect at all for my wishes. It's been going on for 7 years now. I dont know if she cannot read social codes because she can tell people very hurtful things and doesnt understand that they hurt. or maybe she doesnt care because she never tells me such things. So I'm pretty sure there's a case of autism aswell in there or she's just completely spoiled and used to getting her way. I have heard her screaming to her mother on the phone, cursing her out because she didnt think it was a good idea she got a cat in the midst of the trial about the children. (Which I would say is damn good advice) She got the cat anyway and stressed it so much the cat was shaking when I came to see it. She eventually sold it (thank god) She also got a fishtank in which she put too many fishes (pirahnas) so they also were stressed out and some of them jumped out of the fishtank. She finally sold the surviving fish along with the tank.

Her parents on top of sending her money, have paied for several lawyers promising to get her the children back, which she of course never will, so her father who was supposed to retire last year, couldnt, but keeps working himself to the bone paying for all her escapades. Even back when she had a car, she would park it against the traffick and then send the ticket to her parents -Who paied it!

Other times she couldnt find the fan in the car so she drove really slow looking out the windows of the car to see where she was going. (The windows were fogged up) Other cars would honk their horns at her in irritation (completely understandable, I was so ashamed) and she would reply by flipping them the finger like a 3 year old child.

About the ex

He has physically fought her off, one time she came completely uncoherent to me saying something about his girlfriend having tried to stab her and he had ripped of her nail. She showed me the bloody stump. He has stolen from her multiple times, used her sexually and overall treated her horribly throughout the years but it has absolutely NO effect on her. She still comes back and bangs his door. I am now so desperate I have anononymously asked him how I get rid of her? Does he have any tips?

Today I called social services and asked them for advice aswell and although they couldnt reveal they knew her, we talked a bit "up in the air" presumably about it and they gave me the advice to only say Hi when I meet her out and then leave and to NEVER open the door for her or engage in any form of conversation. I will apply that advice on not talking to her outside anymore, even though I do it out of fear for what she might do.

I also moved 6 years ago and didn't tell her where, she questioned the tenant that moved in after me, who gave her my adress and so she started coming by here aswell.
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Now I'm wondering.. What the hell is going on here? For those religious of you out there, am I dealing with a demon, just mental illness, both or what? HOW do I get rid of her once and for all? She can call me time and time again despite me having blocked her and she keeps ringing my door despite Ive clearly said I want nothing more to do with her. She grabbed me outside just yesterday when on my bike. In the midst of cycling, she'd run to me and grab my arm so I had to stop. I cant get rid of her! She does the same to her ex, the drugusing boyfriend, he cant get rid of her either no matter what he does to her.

Forum people, help! What in the heck do I have to do to get rid of her?

(Sorry if its written unorderly, I have brainfog. )

 

[Red Sky at Morning]

I think this is one of the hardest dilemmas for a caring person to be in. People with severe mental health issues and troubled backgrounds can also have complex very spiritual problems!! I think you are getting swamped here and your emotional resources are going to get depleted fast. I wonder if you are in touch with any ministries or groups who work with people facing her kind of difficulties (or if you know people around you who might know?)

I have not had much personal success “helping” people who don’t want to change so I’m no expert, but I do believe God can change people who are willing to truly repent.

 

[Lisa]

I would be earnestly praying for a solution.

 

[Vixy]

I would be earnestly praying for a solution.

Oh we have prayed..my girl you better believe it, we have prayed. Her mother is a hardcore believing christian like me and she has prayed since my friends birth because the problems started already then. I have also prayed myself blue in the face, nothing happens. I eventually got tired of praying because I saw no changes. Her mother even believed she had demons as a child but I guess she was never delivered. Now she likes going to church and disturbing them there with her presence. I dont think she was baptised as an adult either.

You know, it's almost like she has a demon who likes to mock and make fun of christians since she says she's such a strong christian but when I ask her she doesnt even know what fornication means (she honestly thought it meant to commit adultery!) or is aware that she has given birth to three children out of wedlock, born in sin. She says she's read the bible three times but doesnt understand these basic teachings so either she's lying or she has read it but not understood a word. I'm not sure which.

I feel like we need an exorcist, no kidding.

 

[Vixy]

I think this is one of the hardest dilemmas for a caring person to be in. People with severe mental health issues and troubled backgrounds can also have complex very spiritual problems!! I think you are getting swamped here and your emotional resources are going to get depleted fast. I wonder if you are in touch with any ministries or groups who work with people facing her kind of difficulties (or if you know people around you who might know?)

I have not had much personal success “helping” people who don’t want to change so I’m no expert, but I do believe God can change people who are willing to truly repent.

Funny you should ask since I've just come in contact with this independant church group that both delivers and baptises. Theyre coming here Tuesday bc I'm getting prepared for baptism. (Yes, finally! ) I will bring her up but first I must resolve my own situation and if it gets resolved, I might tell them about her, however.. There's a catch.

This might sound horribly selfish of me but I'd really like to have a church place where she isn't, a place to get away, she doesn't know of. So I'm not really sure I wanna tell them about her bc if all fails, as it usually does, they can't help her and then I'll have her around them too, stalking, getting thrown out and not leaving us alone. So I don't know.. What would you do? Should I risk it when Ive found this little sweet group of true believers? Feel like I'm about to drag the worst demon they've ever seen into their click and I dont wanna do that to them.

 

[Red Sky at Morning]

Funny you should ask since I've just come in contact with this independant church group that both delivers and baptises. Theyre coming here Tuesday bc I'm getting prepared for baptism. (Yes, finally! ) I will bring her up but first I must resolve my own situation and if it gets resolved, I might tell them about her, however.. There's a catch.

This might sound horribly selfish of me but I'd really like to have a church place where she isn't, a place to get away, she doesn't know of. So I'm not really sure I wanna tell them about her bc if all fails, as it usually does, they can't help her and then I'll have her around them too, stalking, getting thrown out and not leaving us alone. So I don't know.. What would you do? Should I risk it when Ive found this little sweet group of true believers? Feel like I'm about to drag the worst demon they've ever seen into their click and I dont wanna do that to them.

Might it be worth having a chat with some of the leadership at the church about your dilemma? You might want to tell them what you have been through with her in confidence and leave it to them? Perhaps they might be able to find a way of being a contact for her whilst realising your need for a safe space to rest and grow??

 

[Vixy]

Might it be worth having a chat with some of the leadership at the church about your dilemma? You might want to tell them what you have been through with her in confidence and leave it to them? Perhaps they might be able to find a way of being a contact for her whilst realising your need for a safe space to rest and grow??

Yeah, I will talk to them this Tuesday actually. Ask them what they think we should do since its ultimately their choice. I feel shes been to so many churches but none of them have delivered her or even bothered helping her, they didnt seem to care, just racked her off as a lunatic and sure she IS but..Our faith is to help her. I will definitely talk to them. Then its in their hands aswell and wot reflect badly on me bc I warned them what were dealing with here. They'll probably say something like "It's her choice if she wants to be delivered or not" But at least then I have tried.

Thanks, Red. <3

 

[Bubble_tea]

I think that her parents keep perpetruating the problem by sending her money all the time. There is no point in them sending her money to hire lawyers when they must acknowledge that she clearly won't get her children back unless she becomes mentally stable first. I believe it would be wiser for them to cut off the money until she willingly goes to therapy since she is clearly a danger to herself and others. Should she not comply, you can always gather signatures from 3 people to put her in a mental clinic until she no longer needs it. (but I don't know whether there is such a law in your country). In any case she is a troubled soul and I feel for her because she is plainly not aware of what she is doing.

 

[Vixy]

I think that her parents keep perpetruating the problem by sending her money all the time. There is no point in them sending her money to hire lawyers when they must acknowledge that she clearly won't get her children back unless she becomes mentally stable first. I believe it would be wiser for them to cut off the money until she willingly goes to therapy since she is clearly a danger to herself and others. Should she not comply, you can always gather signatures from 3 people to put her in a mental clinic until she no longer needs it. (but I don't know whether there is such a law in your country). In any case she is a troubled soul and I feel for her because she is plainly not aware of what she is doing.

"I think that her parents keep perpetruating the problem by sending her money all the time"

Oh boy did you pinpoint that one! That's a HUGE problem in her behaviour yes. She messes up and daddy comes along and daddy's money cleans up the mess while her family has sold their house and settled in a small apartment in a ghetto to survive bc she bleeds them dry. They even help her out with rent since she has a way to expensive apartment! She also even had the nerve to walk right up to the social services office and DEMAND more money bc she had "bought up the ones she got" They had to sit her down like a teenager and explain that you get a sum for every month and theyre not a bank you can demand more money from. I couldnt believe my ears when she told me.. So on one hand shes planning to blow their windows out and on the other they should give her more money when shes bought up the ones she has..

But it's not only that but others things aswell like she thinks her every whim shall be served. Say she wants an apartment in Stockholm, she then actually thinks she'll get one although its the hardest place in europe to find residence. It's like she's not with us in this world but somewhere else completely where she's a queen to be served.

The jobs she applies for, aren't regular jobs but only in the finest restaurants in town. She actually got two of them as a waitress but was fired quickly bc they notice she's not normal. The chances she's received in life is ridiculess, others can just dream of working there and have that on their resumé.

She once was hungry (she eats every 20 minutes. if we pass by a restaurant she goes in to eat and then to the one after that and the next and the next and the next so shes got this big gut she starves away when she's on drugs again, its actually disguisting) and broke so she went into a restaurant and ate and when the bill came she didn't pay so the owner threw her out. She didnt just eat any meal but she ate the finest of ox meat on the menu aswell. Like she's completely entitled.

You know, talking about this makes me see maybe that's why she wont let me or the ex bf go. She probably thinks its over when SHE says it is bc in her world only her opinion matter.

When she was in the psych ward last time she called me and wanted me to go over to her mother who came down half way from up the country for her sake and stayed at her apartment bc the mother shouldnt be alone. I spend my life alone in bed and she doesnt give a shit about me sitting alone on christmas eve yet her mom cant be alone for 3 days? I declined and hung up. A mother who told me to not just drop by unannounced (I'm never there anyway, I'm home in bed) and when I thought "Great, I can ask she stops ringing my doorbell every day now!" She replied "What a strange thing to ask, friends drop by, why cant she?" She and her mother came by once unnannounced and I had a facemask on but opened anyway since I was up, thats completely okay in their book but I cant do it to them. Anything goes with them and nothing for me. I almost feel as if I'm dealing with narcissists.

Talking to you like this I realise they've never been people one should have in their life. They simply use me as company when it suits the, doesn't matter if I don't have energy or am in bed. I see why she has no other friends and that I should stay far FAR away from that family.

In honestly I've noticed her mother seems scared of her, it's like an undertone when she's about to get upset and I can tell the mom's like "Now now, don't you think about that, we'll take care of it.." Like shes honestly scared of her own daughter and I can understand why since she really is scary, I feel the same way so I cant be honest with her and keep treading on eggshells to not say the wrong thing and set her off. She clocked a friend in the eye over something while holding her daughter on the other arm, thats how social services got involved in the first place, the friend called them bc she didnt think that was a behaviour suited for a mother. I was friends with that friend for a while and she was a good person with children herself.

 

[Wigi]

In honestly I've noticed her mother seems scared of her, it's like an undertone whe she's about to get upset and I can tell the mom's like "Now now, don't you think about that, we'll take care of it.."

This thing raise an alarm to me as it reminds me this :

King Baby Syndrome - An Explanation For Our Addictive Personalities

What is the King Baby Syndrome? Where does it stem from and how can it affect us? Which symptoms to look out for? And how does all this relate to addiction?

www.hope-rehab-center-thailand.com

Through the natural maturing processes of childhood and adulthood, most of our king baby syndrome mentality is discarded and replaced by more appropriate life skills. However, some of us advanced through the stages of physical growth without shedding this so-called “King Baby” attitude.

When addicts suffer from “King Baby Syndrome” they want the same level of self-centred gratification that babies and young children need. Addicts must be especially aware of King Baby drives and characteristics, for these attitudes and behaviours can continue to show up after we achieve abstinence.

You and her parents need to be careful because this kind of mental illness can be destructive for a caring person.

 

[Hon33]

She is clearly very, very mentally unwell with some kind of sociopathic personality disorder.
I know it sounds terribly harsh but she is probably not likely to change.
Yiu need to take steps to protect yourself, even if that means involving the police.
Keep a record of everything she does. If she comes to your house and won’t go away, don’t answer the door but do call the police. Don’t engage with her. When you have the necessary evidence gathered seek an injunction making it illegal for her to contact you.
I know this seems hard but your safety and well-being in this situation must come first. Good Luck.

 

[Vixy]

This thing raise an alarm to me as it reminds me this :

King Baby Syndrome - An Explanation For Our Addictive Personalities

What is the King Baby Syndrome? Where does it stem from and how can it affect us? Which symptoms to look out for? And how does all this relate to addiction?

www.hope-rehab-center-thailand.com

Through the natural maturing processes of childhood and adulthood, most of our king baby syndrome mentality is discarded and replaced by more appropriate life skills. However, some of us advanced through the stages of physical growth without shedding this so-called “King Baby” attitude.

When addicts suffer from “King Baby Syndrome” they want the same level of self-centred gratification that babies and young children need. Addicts must be especially aware of King Baby drives and characteristics, for these attitudes and behaviours can continue to show up after we achieve abstinence.

You and her parents need to be careful because this kind of mental illness can be destructive for a caring person.

Thank you for replying! <3

Yes, her father looks really worn down and I feel bad for her mother despite being a bit whacko herself. I'm glad I wasnt affected.. I was mainly just annoyed when she'd come over to my place and say "oooh, I have to get the same zink you have, you never have any dishes laying around" As if it's the zink that fixes the dishes, not the person living there, lol! But yes, her mother/father got her a dishwashing machine since she's too lazy to clean and her mother travels 60 swedish miles down to clean for her aswell and throw out some of all the garbage she's bought. Man..

Sorry for my whining, you guys are great to advice me and talk to. You all in here have replied way better than any of my IRL friends. They dont really care, but you all cared enough to not only read but to reply with advice so I really do thank you all so soo much. <3 It feels great to have gotten to see I'm not alone in not wanting to hang with her (all her former froends flee, she meets new people that stay a while and then flee too. The difference between them and me is they got away, but me she clings to bc I'm too scared to be harsh with her) I'm one of those super sweet persons that attracts all the wrong kind of people, unfortunally and it's nice to be a nice person but it brings a shit load of problems bc people use it. Especially those who cant get other friends bc of their own personalities. So I've ran into some strange characters in my life. Thanks for letting me talk it out here. <3

I have considered her to be a narc aswell, as the link says but I'm not sure about that either.. She's not the proud arrogant type.

 

[Vixy]

She is clearly very, very mentally unwell with some kind of sociopathic personality disorder.
I know it sounds terribly harsh but she is probably not likely to change.
Yiu need to take steps to protect yourself, even if that means involving the police.
Keep a record of everything she does. If she comes to your house and won’t go away, don’t answer the door but do call the police. Don’t engage with her. When you have the necessary evidence gathered seek an injunction making it illegal for her to contact you.
I know this seems hard but your safety and well-being in this situation must come first. Good Luck.

Damn, that's what social services told me when I talked to them yesterday, to call the police. I dont think it's necessary though bc she doesnt do any harm, she only phones and rings the door and the police don't do anything about murders around here so they wouldnt care but, it shows at what level she's at.

You really think she's a sociopath? I dunno.. She IS violent but havent committed any crimes except the dog thing, the dinner thing, drugs and stalking.. Its no big crimes like that.
I'm thinking spoiled as hell combined with psychotic. She's not pretending to be psychotic, she really is bc at times she speaks word salad and one cannot understand a thing she says.. But she definitely lacks respect for other peoples will.

 

[Lisa]

Damn, that's what social services told me when I talked to them yesterday, to call the police. I dont think it's necessary though bc she doesnt do any harm, she only phones and rings the door and the police don't do anything about murders around here so they wouldnt care but, it shows at what level she's at.

You really think she's a sociopath? I dunno.. She IS violent but havent committed any crimes except the dog thing, the dinner thing, drugs and stalking.. Its no big crimes like that.
I'm thinking spoiled as hell combined with psychotic. She's not pretending to be psychotic, she really is bc at times she speaks word salad and one cannot understand a thing she says.. But she definitely lacks respect for other peoples will.

Could be a narcissist...not that I know all about that, but interestingly enough because of the Meghan Markle issue..I have been reading up on it. The website that I found through a comment is..

Prime Articles - HG Tudor - Knowing The Narcissist - The World's No.1 Resource About Narcissism

There are seven critical articles that are best read upon arrival at the blog. These seminal works provide highly illuminating information and necessary insights that will enable a reader to rapidly accelerate their understanding of narcissism and the nature of their entanglement. The key works...

narcsite.com

Maybe reading through some of his articles would be helpful anyway...because it sound like you should stop answering the door and probably get a recorded of her doing it with the police. That might get her to stop coming if she’s always getting the police called on her?

 

[Bubble_tea]

I

"I think that her parents keep perpetruating the problem by sending her money all the time"

Oh boy did you pinpoint that one! That's a HUGE problem in her behaviour yes. She messes up and daddy comes along and daddy's money cleans up the mess while her family has sold their house and settled in a small apartment in a ghetto to survive bc she bleeds them dry. They even help her out with rent since she has a way to expensive apartment! She also even had the nerve to walk right up to the social services office and DEMAND more money bc she had "bought up the ones she got" They had to sit her down like a teenager and explain that you get a sum for every month and theyre not a bank you can demand more money from. I couldnt believe my ears when she told me.. So on one hand shes planning to blow their windows out and on the other they should give her more money when shes bought up the ones she has..

But it's not only that but others things aswell like she thinks her every whim shall be served. Say she wants an apartment in Stockholm, she then actually thinks she'll get one although its the hardest place in europe to find residence. It's like she's not with us in this world but somewhere else completely where she's a queen to be served.

The jobs she applies for, aren't regular jobs but only in the finest restaurants in town. She actually got two of them as a waitress but was fired quickly bc they notice she's not normal. The chances she's received in life is ridiculess, others can just dream of working there and have that on their resumé.

She once was hungry (she eats every 20 minutes. if we pass by a restaurant she goes in to eat and then to the one after that and the next and the next and the next so shes got this big gut she starves away when she's on drugs again, its actually disguisting) and broke so she went into a restaurant and ate and when the bill came she didn't pay so the owner threw her out. She didnt just eat any meal but she ate the finest of ox meat on the menu aswell. Like she's completely entitled.

You know, talking about this makes me see maybe that's why she wont let me or the ex bf go. She probably thinks its over when SHE says it is bc in her world only her opinion matter.

When she was in the psych ward last time she called me and wanted me to go over to her mother who came down half way from up the country for her sake and stayed at her apartment bc the mother shouldnt be alone. I spend my life alone in bed and she doesnt give a shit about me sitting alone on christmas eve yet her mom cant be alone for 3 days? I declined and hung up. A mother who told me to not just drop by unannounced (I'm never there anyway, I'm home in bed) and when I thought "Great, I can ask she stops ringing my doorbell every day now!" She replied "What a strange thing to ask, friends drop by, why cant she?" She and her mother came by once unnannounced and I had a facemask on but opened anyway since I was up, thats completely okay in their book but I cant do it to them. Anything goes with them and nothing for me. I almost feel as if I'm dealing with narcissists.

Talking to you like this I realise they've never been people one should have in their life. They simply use me as company when it suits the, doesn't matter if I don't have energy or am in bed. I see why she has no other friends and that I should stay far FAR away from that family.

In honestly I've noticed her mother seems scared of her, it's like an undertone when she's about to get upset and I can tell the mom's like "Now now, don't you think about that, we'll take care of it.." Like shes honestly scared of her own daughter and I can understand why since she really is scary, I feel the same way so I cant be honest with her and keep treading on eggshells to not say the wrong thing and set her off. She clocked a friend in the eye over something while holding her daughter on the other arm, thats how social services got involved in the first place, the friend called them bc she didnt think that was a behaviour suited for a mother. I was friends with that friend for a while and she was a good person with children herself.

I am so sorry for what you've been through, you don't deserve any of it. I've dealt myself with a narcissistic/self-serving person in my life and I know exactly what it's like. I had a friend who used to live a luxurious life due to her father's job and when her parents got divorced, he left them with no money, so in some instances, she and her mother expected me to help them with bills, food etc (mind you I'm only a student so I am not exactly rich). Nevertheless, I helped them as much as I could and tolerated all along their paranoia(they believed that her father have them monitored, that he wanted to steal them every luxurious thing they owned and they felt entitled to his money). Not to mention that she hid many things from me while I considered her my best friend, she moved to France for her master, and never told me and I only found it out accidentally. When I confronted her, she told me "What's the problem? I was about to tell you about it anyway, you are just jealous" and I was like "jealous of what? I am studying in a great school as well". The cherry on top was when I agreed to offer her hospitality for a few days and she and her mother managed to cause damages in my house and I had to pay for them. When I told her that she had to pay (bc at that point, I got so fed up with giving her money) she agreed and as soon as she left, she told her internet friends that I stole her money! She believed that everyone had a responsibility to serve them. She was one of my best friends and it was hard for me to accept that I made a mistake befriending her.

As for your friend, I think that the case is kinda similar to mine. She behaves this way, because, unfortunately, she can, she has never heard "no" for an answer. Her parents cater to her every whim and they are the ones responsible here. If she learns (the hard way) that true life isn't like that and has to earn her living, she will have no other choice left. What will she do when her parents are no longer here? She should seriously consider that. Life has taught me that people don't change unless they sincerely want to and it's not your job to help them. You have to let her go and take care of yourself first, it's not egocentric, it's survival, and she clearly doesn't deserve you. Try not to answer her calls and deny her visits, it will be hard for you at the beginning because she will insist on interacting with you persistently, but don't give in. Eventually, she will get the point. Also, if you become more comfortable in your skin, the right friends will come in your way. Most people want to control and degrade others so as to boost their ego, especially if they are sensitive and nice like you are, they almost can "smell" it like vultures, don't do them the favor. <3 I saw myself in many of your points so I am talking to you from experience.

Edit : I don't think she is exclusively a narcissist though, she propably is psychotic too as her eating consistently shows me that she doesn't realize what she is doing, and this is a common fact among mental patients.

 

[Hon33]

Damn, that's what social services told me when I talked to them yesterday, to call the police. I dont think it's necessary though bc she doesnt do any harm, she only phones and rings the door and the police don't do anything about murders around here so they wouldnt care but, it shows at what level she's at.

You really think she's a sociopath? I dunno.. She IS violent but havent committed any crimes except the dog thing, the dinner thing, drugs and stalking.. Its no big crimes like that.
I'm thinking spoiled as hell combined with psychotic. She's not pretending to be psychotic, she really is bc at times she speaks word salad and one cannot understand a thing she says.. But she definitely lacks respect for other peoples will.

I honestly can’t say whether or not she is a sociopath without having met her. However, she certainly shows symptoms of some kind of sociopathic tendencies. She appears to lack empathy and insight into the feelings of others. She seems unable to put the needs of even her children above her own. I always find it particularly worrying when someone behaves badly towards animals. People who are cruel towards animals very often go on to commit other very serious crimes.
I have a lot of experience with individuals on the autistic spectrum and it wouldn’t be the first condition that comes to mind when you describe her behaviour. It’s kind of a myth that individuals with autism don’t experience empathy. They often do. They just don’t know how to express it or what to do with the empathy they feel.They will usually feel sorry for having upset others. This girl however, seems to lack awareness or insight into her behaviour.
She might not pose any harm to you at the moment, but I would still suggest you keep a record of everything she does. I would also be inclined to still say contact the police. By doing so you are creating a record of everything which may be useful in the future.

 

[Lisa]

I honestly can’t say whether or not she is a sociopath without having met her. However, she certainly shows symptoms of some kind of sociopathic tendencies. She appears to lack empathy and insight into the feelings of others. She seems unable to put the needs of even her children above her own. I always find it particularly worrying when someone behaves badly towards animals. People who are cruel towards animals very often go on to commit other very serious crimes.
I have a lot of experience with individuals on the autistic spectrum and it wouldn’t be the first condition that comes to mind when you describe her behaviour. It’s kind of a myth that individuals with autism don’t experience empathy. They often do. They just don’t know how to express it or what to do with the empathy they feel.They will usually feel sorry for having upset others. This girl however, seems to lack awareness or insight into her behaviour.
She might not pose any harm to you at the moment, but I would still suggest you keep a record of everything she does. I would also be inclined to still say contact the police. By doing so you are creating a record of everything which may be useful in the future.

She’s not good to her children but what you find worrying is she treats animals badly?

 

[Vixy]

I

I am so sorry for what you've been through, you don't deserve any of it. I've dealt myself with a narcissistic/self-serving person in my life and I know exactly what it's like. I had a friend who used to live a luxurious life due to her father's job and when her parents got divorced, he left them with no money, so in some instances, she and her mother expected me to help them with bills, food etc (mind you I'm only a student so I am not exactly rich). Nevertheless, I helped them as much as I could and tolerated all along their paranoia(they believed that her father have them monitored, that he wanted to steal them every luxurious thing they owned and they felt entitled to his money). Not to mention that she hid many things from me while I considered her my best friend, she moved to France for her master, and never told me and I only found it out accidentally. When I confronted her, she told me "What's the problem? I was about to tell you about it anyway, you are just jealous" and I was like "jealous of what? I am studying in a great school as well". The cherry on top was when I agreed to offer her hospitality for a few days and she and her mother managed to cause damages in my house and I had to pay for them. When I told her that she had to pay (bc at that point, I got so fed up with giving her money) she agreed and as soon as she left, she told her internet friends that I stole her money! She believed that everyone had a responsibility to serve them. She was one of my best friends and it was hard for me to accept that I made a mistake befriending her.

As for your friend, I think that the case is kinda similar to mine. She behaves this way, because, unfortunately, she can, she has never heard "no" for an answer. Her parents cater to her every whim and they are the ones responsible here. If she learns (the hard way) that true life isn't like that and has to earn her living, she will have no other choice left. What will she do when her parents are no longer here? She should seriously consider that. Life has taught me that people don't change unless they sincerely want to and it's not your job to help them. You have to let her go and take care of yourself first, it's not egocentric, it's survival, and she clearly doesn't deserve you. Try not to answer her calls and deny her visits, it will be hard for you at the beginning because she will insist on interacting with you persistently, but don't give in. Eventually, she will get the point. Also, if you become more comfortable in your skin, the right friends will come in your way. Most people want to control and degrade others so as to boost their ego, especially if they are sensitive and nice like you are, they almost can "smell" it like vultures, don't do them the favor. <3 I saw myself in many of your points so I am talking to you from experience.

Edit : I don't think she is exclusively a narcissist though, she propably is psychotic too as her eating consistently shows me that she doesn't realize what she is doing, and this is a common fact among mental patients.

Thank you So much! <3 I was a bit scared I'd seem like I raised myself and lowered her but I am by no means perfect, haha! By faaar actually but I do try. She is another story though, I've met many crazies in my life but not to this extent. Noone has ever climbed on their roof and screamed, you know? How did she even dare? Its HIGH up. Like she thinks she's invincible.

The narc thing is interesting since I just weeks ago realised that's what I attract so if she is one, it fits perfectly. But she has empathy with me, she'll ask if I want gloves when its cold out and offer me food bc she knows my fridge used to be pretty empty.

Whoa..! How can a student pay other peoples bills? In Sweden you have like $700 for rent and everything, you hardly survive! And BOTH of them being paranoid? Oh man.. This one is paranoid aswell, she always seem to suspect somethings wrong when you offer her anything which I found very burdening. You couldnt do a thing without getting a look of "And why would you offer this?" I always felt like a suspect. Think thats typical for schizophrenia though since another friend with it was the same way.

God damn, if you helped them despite you being on the starving limit yourself, it means you're probably a super empath like me and we're the kind narcs take advantage of. Theyre entitled, we're inferiour so its a perfect match.

Wait what?! You not only paied their bills but they caused YOU damages and had the nerve to not pay?? Oh man, I'd never talk to them again. Sure if it was an accident and they showed remorse but they sound like horrible people!

Yeapp, youre absolutely right here "She behaves this way, because, unfortunately, she can, she has never heard "no" for an answer. Her parents cater to her every whim and they are the ones responsible here.

Because they're old now, her mom's 66 and her dads in his 70's and they're eventually gonna crash and fall and can't be there anymore and then she'll have herself and noone else since her siblings seem to not want to really engage with her, they seem more normal and know there's nothing to explore by trying to socialise with her. No connection. I always felt so alone when with her, like I was more alone than actually being just alone. It's because we are worlds apart, straight opposites.

Ooh girl, "Life has taught me that people don't change unless they sincerely want to and it's not your job to help them" I'm learning this right now! Its been a though lesson bc I really wanted to help but no, they have to learn it themselves just like you say. I know people who are in their 60's who just ended up alone and they're learning now.. In their 60's..I learned as an infant you're on your own, geez. But then again Ive never been spoiled. Not the way she is, I had a few things sure but her case is extreme. If she had saved up all that money she gt for lawyers, rent and buying crap with, she'd have the downpayment for a condo or house!

You have to let her go and take care of yourself first, it's not egocentric, it's survival, and she clearly doesn't deserve you. Try not to answer her calls and deny her visits, it will be hard for you at the beginning because she will insist on interacting with you persistently, but don't give in.

Youre so damn right and I did this for 1,5 years but once she saw me outside, even biking, like on the bikeland going fast, she came and grabbed my arm like "Hello! I'm a queen, you don't avoid talking to me!" So there's no way of avoiding her except keep pretending she's air even when she grabbs, next time she'll have to get dragged after the bike then bc I wont get off. I really am starting to fukn HATE her, pardon my french. It's been 7 YEARS, I am overly kind. You know how this works and you understand my frustration aswell.. I'm just scared she'll come by and throw stones through my windows and trash the place..she's crazy enough to do it.

You know.. don't know if you believe in these things and I'm a christian myself so its no hocus pocus I hope but white butterflies usually land on me and stay for hours, just sitting on my pants or whatever and finally I looked up what it means and it stands for rebirth, transformation and maybe it means I'm learning this and learning how to cast these lifespark vampires off? Bc there really has been VERY many of them over the years. Throw one away and four more pops back in.

Yeah, I think this is a spiritual journey where I learn to get a teflon protection layer that will hinder them from sucking out my lifeforce bc DAMN they bleed you dry! When you cant get rid of a person at first its annoying, then you feel sad for them and finally you start hating them for not respecting your wish.

Its common they eat and eat? Because I have another friend with schizo and she does the same, she even ups and leaves after 20 minutes, leaves you sitting there bc shes going home to eat. So you cant really go anywhere with her. I told her to eat out or bring food then but nah, gotta go home. Kinda restricts your life.

I started digging in that and found their blood sugar must be off and they try regulating it with food bc they dont eat huge amounts just small but super often.

 

[Lisa]

God damn,

Really?

 

[Vixy]

I honestly can’t say whether or not she is a sociopath without having met her. However, she certainly shows symptoms of some kind of sociopathic tendencies. She appears to lack empathy and insight into the feelings of others. She seems unable to put the needs of even her children above her own. I always find it particularly worrying when someone behaves badly towards animals. People who are cruel towards animals very often go on to commit other very serious crimes.
I have a lot of experience with individuals on the autistic spectrum and it wouldn’t be the first condition that comes to mind when you describe her behaviour. It’s kind of a myth that individuals with autism don’t experience empathy. They often do. They just don’t know how to express it or what to do with the empathy they feel.They will usually feel sorry for having upset others. This girl however, seems to lack awareness or insight into her behaviour.
She might not pose any harm to you at the moment, but I would still suggest you keep a record of everything she does. I would also be inclined to still say contact the police. By doing so you are creating a record of everything which may be useful in the future.

Unfortunally you're right, both her mother and I suspect she is autistic aswell as the diagnosis of schizoaffectice disorder she has gotten. She was training the cat to go to the bathroom on one of those litter qwitter things but she went in super speed and I told her several times it takes weeks on just one stage but she acted like the cat should have learned yesterday when also in a completely new environment and with a new person.

Her mother suspected something was off I think with the cat scenario because she called the seller and told her she was mentally ill and couldn't care for a cat. I don't know how it went except she said she sold it so I hope it ended up in a better place, it was one of those naked cats that looked like a big rat, lol! Horrible! I prefer them hairy with big butts myself. I think she got it bc I have a cat and its my best friend and I always talk about it and tell about how I love it so she must have thought her life would be better if she just got a cat aswell, she is super easily affectable. Even her belief gets crushed if she's around nonbelievers, she says.

One thing bothers me through all the years.. I visited her in the psych ward once and we passed this goodlooking guy in the hallway, I told her he was hot and as we passed she asked him about the scar in his face. He squirmed and I could tell he was really hurt about it bc he was already in such a vulnerable position to be in the psych ward and to have shoved in his face he had a scar aswell was it for him, he didnt wanna be there and she just chuckled and didn't understand she had done wrong at all. My heart died alittle for him bc he did NOT need that too. I think then and there I cut the friendship off with her in my heart. That was just cruel. And she friggin CHUCKLED. So yeah, autistic I think bc she can do things like making enemies with her neighbour only to call him the next day asking him to pay for her lawyer to get her children back. I've talked to him on several occations (very pleasant guy) and he said "Look, I understood pretty quickly she was mentally ill" and then he told me she had called and asked that about the money like it was the most obvious thing in the world he would pay.

Completely surreal!

I've been so close over the years soo many times to telling her I really do think she is mentally ill, bc she has NO insight whatsoever. But she gets really angry when anyone even hints she might be so I backed down.

And the surreal behaviour.. My god. She told me once she had had an itch under her lip and as she bend up her lip to check, a chrysalis had popped out. Another time she came and said she had chrysalis in her blood.