Narcissism Self-help Thread

cajun

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While there are other threads open about the cultural and spiritual aspects of Narcissism, it seems like it might be a good idea to have one here for people to consider what can be done about our own narcissistic wounds, whether they come from being abused by a pathological narcissist at home or at work, discovering that we ourselves might have the disorder, or just being vulnerable to narcissism in society, at church, in our entertainments, etc.

I've been finding some interesting therapy videos by people identifying themselves as having narcissistic personality disorder as well as some who survived serious family narcissistic abuse.

Dr. Sam Vaknin, of course, is the best known. I'll try to find his autobiography video and post it below.
 

cajun

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The narcissist in her family turned the doctor into a flying monkey (abuse by proxy)

 

cajun

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This guy keeps it real. Everyone should watch that one
Yes, I'm picking through a lot of channels to get the real deal.

What fascinated me is that I was going through family therapy in the 1980's and I will never forget the way my therapist once threw up his hands and said this was the first time he ever ran into a family that seemed more like a cult.

It wasn't even in their training back then.
 

Aero

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Yes, I'm picking through a lot of channels to get the real deal.

What fascinated me is that I was going through family therapy in the 1980's and I will never forget the way my therapist once threw up his hands and said this was the first time he ever ran into a family that seemed more like a cult.

It wasn't even in their training back then.
Everything is a cult now. And it actually shocks me a little bit more people don't make the connection sooner. My parents dumped a ton of emotional baggage on me as a kid. Idk if it was their own fault, or if it was natural. But something pulled me away as soon as I turned 18. It was difficult to separate from my parents, but I can't imagine going back to that emotional state. Of just being an outlet for them.
 

cajun

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Everything is a cult now. And it actually shocks me a little bit more people don't make the connection sooner. My parents dumped a ton of emotional baggage on me as a kid. Idk if it was their own fault, or if it was natural. But something pulled me away as soon as I turned 18. It was difficult to separate from my parents, but I can't imagine going back to that emotional state. Of just being an outlet for them.
I was fortunate that being a younger sibling in a neighborhood of families allowed me to be an observer. Also, because everyone knew my mother was leaving my 12-yr-old sister in charge (which was not unusual back then) there were aunts and others who would pop in. So I wasn't 100% isolated wiith my mother and my sister had not completely matured into her extreme narcissism. I think that really happened at the point I had my own child.

I am just learning now that it may have been my pregnancy that triggered the psychopath level in her because a severe narcissist expects people to remain in their subservient roles, but because I grew up in so many ways culminating wiith becoming a mother wiith my own rights, she had a total break wiith reality. At least wiith the reality of human relationships. But my early childhood of noticing that our family was weird compared to others allowed me to protect a small grain of sanity.

Nowadays children often don't have siblings and they may not have daily contact wiith other families. That scares me. Combined wiith the failure of so many churches to provide a stable community, what chance have today's children got to hide that nugget of sanity until they can get out on their own?
 

cajun

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Thank you for that, JoChris. My mother had Munchausen tendencies. She used to like to keep me home from school (which was often fine wiith me, I exploited that! LOL) and as I got older I noticed that one of her favorite manipulation tactics was to tell me I didn't look well, etc. And it kicked in really bad when I had my daughter. I had to move away from her and that was one of the reasons. I didn't know the behavior had a name.

Anyway, here is a video I've been meaning to post here. It's not about Munchausens but it is another one about Flying Monkeys and I think the Flying Monkey tactic of the NPD is entangled wiith the Munchausen syndrome:

 

JoChris

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Wow Cajun, that is unthinkable. Is there much material for survivors of Munchausen by proxy parents? Thank God that He opened your eyes to the truth - many people would lack the strength to cut ties from such a sick relationship.

Has your mother and ex-husband used the same dirty tactics that the man above is describing?
 

cajun

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Wow Cajun, that is unthinkable. Is there much material for survivors of Munchausen by proxy parents? Thank God that He opened your eyes to the truth - many people would lack the strength to cut ties from such a sick relationship.

Has your mother and ex-husband used the same dirty tactics that the man above is describing?
Worse.
 

cajun

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There is a growing community of NPD survivors posting videos alongside some excellent expert channels in YouTube. Just surf narcissism and you will start finding them.

I posted a few in the Narcissism Self-Help Thread in this forum.
 

JoChris

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I am so sorry to read that. :( I have some understanding of what people like yourself going through, but it wasn't ever extreme as you had.

I never had to fear personal attack like that from my mother. Her social conscience is too strong "what would OTHER people think?" Plus I know there is some pocket of moral conscience deep down that kept her from totally giving into the Dark Side.

Probably why she is fragile. She is not in complete denial about her faults and failings like complete NPD sociopaths must be.
 
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