Joshua Harris Kissed Jesus Goodbye

Lisa

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Joshua Harris, well-known Christian author, 'purity' advocate, renounces faith
Jul. 29, 2019 - 1:34 - The former pastor of Covenant Life Church in Gaithersburg, Md., Joshua Harris, a short time after announcing the end of his marriage, is now saying goodbye to his faith as well. In an Instagram post, Harris revealed he is stepping back from his faith and no longer considers himself a Christian. In the post he recounted several things he has apologized for in the past, specifically apologizing for his previously held views on the LGBTQ community.

He’s getting divorced and he’s apologizing for his views on the lgbtq+ community..is he gonna come out as homosexual next? I’ve never heard of this guy before so idk if this is a possibility for him.
 

Dalit

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Joshua Harris, well-known Christian author, 'purity' advocate, renounces faith
Jul. 29, 2019 - 1:34 - The former pastor of Covenant Life Church in Gaithersburg, Md., Joshua Harris, a short time after announcing the end of his marriage, is now saying goodbye to his faith as well. In an Instagram post, Harris revealed he is stepping back from his faith and no longer considers himself a Christian. In the post he recounted several things he has apologized for in the past, specifically apologizing for his previously held views on the LGBTQ community.

He’s getting divorced and he’s apologizing for his views on the lgbtq+ community..is he gonna come out as homosexual next? I’ve never heard of this guy before so idk if this is a possibility for him.
Could be. I went to a small somewhat conservative, Christian college so he was being read a lot there. He courted his now ex-wife and wrote a book about that, too.
 

Todd

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Yep, his book was really popular in Charismatic/pentecostal circles when my two oldest were teenagers. It basically said that dating was not from God and that single people needed to trust God to just show them who he had chosen as a spouse for them. It is a similar idea to what the Duggar and Bates families believe (TV shows "19 kids and counting" and "Bringing up Bates")

Unfortunately it is one of the mistakes that we made as parents, though we learned soon enough not to put it on our two younger kids. We didn't push it on our kids, but when the youth group that were involved in started reading the book we didn't discuss it with them or encourage them to make their own decision about it. They succumbed to peer pressure and just assumed we wanted them to follow it also. It did more damage than good. It's a wonderful idea if you truly believe and have faith to trust God to bring you a spouse, but not for everyone. It's not a great idea if you are only doing it because that is what you are expected to do.

God is good though and has healed the wounds that the idea inflicted on my two older children. My four kids are all in healthy committed relationships now (three married, one engaged)
 

Todd

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I just read his statement and sounds like he is rejecting fundamentalist Christianity and not necessarily rejecting Jesus. His actual words are "massive shift in regard to my faith in Jesus". He doesn't actually say he is rejecting Christ, only what he has traditionally understood to be defined as Christianity. Of course he comes from a fundamentalist background and training, so is he rejecting that but re-evaluating what he believes true biblical faith is? The fact he uses the words "I want to remain open to this, but am I'm not there now" when told there are other ways to live faith, tells me he is still trying to figure it out.

From the little that can be discerned from his public statements, seems like he is still trying to live by the example that Christ set, loving his neighbor and repenting for the things he has done that have hurt others. I pray he experiences the true grace of God rather than the fundamentalist version of grace he was trained and brought up in.
 

Dalit

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I just read his statement and sounds like he is rejecting fundamentalist Christianity and not necessarily rejecting Jesus. His actual words are "massive shift in regard to my faith in Jesus". He doesn't actually say he is rejecting Christ, only what he has traditionally understood to be defined as Christianity. Of course he comes from a fundamentalist background and training, so is he rejecting that but re-evaluating what he believes true biblical faith is? The fact he uses the words "I want to remain open to this, but am I'm not there now" when told there are other ways to live faith, tells me he is still trying to figure it out.

From the little that can be discerned from his public statements, seems like he is still trying to live by the example that Christ set, loving his neighbor and repenting for the things he has done that have hurt others. I pray he experiences the true grace of God rather than the fundamentalist version of grace he was trained and brought up in.
I'm seeing that now with watching his "I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye". Even though his saying that he's no longer a Christian does bother me. I hope it is just reactionary against fundamentalism. I hope he doesn't go the way of Derek Webb (former Caedmon's Call singer). Derek left his wife, left the faith, and wrote a worship song to alcohol ("The Spirit Bears the Curse"). I felt almost betrayed by Derek because I felt his music led me closer to Jesus and now he seems to want nothing to do with Jesus. I still listen to his music though and will.

Glad your kids are doing well. :)
 

Swiftturtle

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I got so much heat -from ppl in my youth group, not my parents- for thinking he was full of it and refusing to read that book.
Didn’t his book have a picture of him in a fedora on the front? From that alone, he clearly didn’t have ppl close to him that had discernment.
I kid...

Money is gone, lost the life he took for granted, and he clearly thinks it’s God’s fault instead of looking at himself and his choices... if there was ever a time for a meme of Job saying “oh reallllly? Times got tough, huh?”...

Some parents truly do go drastically overboard, but he’s an adult now, and he dictates the type of Christian walk he has. I’m sad that for him that means walking away.

For some reason, ppl think entertainment entities on ‘the Christian side’ differ from mainstream (bc it should), but it’s basically ‘mainstream light’. Money and power doesn’t discriminate when the convictions of those who have it are weak. My family member had clear terms in the last contract he agreed to sign, and 4 months later they’d booked the opposite of what he was promised. They thought ‘once he saw the $ and venues he’d change his mind’....he quit. They didn’t think he would, bc they’re so used to buying compromise. The funniest part is that the band all quit bc he did, and they suddenly had a huge fire.

I hope the sketchiness in the Christian industry is flushed out right along with the power washing Hollywood has on the horizon.
 

Lisa

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For some reason, ppl think entertainment entities on ‘the Christian side’ differ from mainstream (bc it should), but it’s basically ‘mainstream light’
Reminds me of the church I used to go to and the children’s director was having people teach from something called gospel light..I cringed right there...
 

Dalit

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I've thought about this further and it was wrong of me to say that I felt almost betrayed by Derek Webb. I'm not saved in the name of Derek Webb or Josh Harris or anyone other than Jesus. I just feel a bit sad when someone stumbles or falls. When Amy Grant was accused of having an affair, etc.

Rachel has a second video on this, but it's more about toxic purity culture rather than just Josh Harris's latest statement on his faith.


I agree that Christian purity culture is toxic because it focuses on sex more than the world does. It so does! It makes women ashamed of their own bodies almost because we can't show shoulders or too much leg or decolletage for fear of causing our brothers to stumble. It is ridiculous! I wonder if incels were former Christian men damaged by the purity culture.

There is nothing wrong with purity if a person is doing so unto God. But when it becomes unto man, religion, culture? Not good.

Rachel gives a heart wrenching testimony about it.

Okay, this is a bit off of Joshua Harris's faith, yet perhaps the fundamentalist purity culture damaged his faith. It's entirely possible.
 

DavidSon

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I've thought about this further and it was wrong of me to say that I felt almost betrayed by Derek Webb. I'm not saved in the name of Derek Webb or Josh Harris or anyone other than Jesus. I just feel a bit sad when someone stumbles or falls. When Amy Grant was accused of having an affair, etc.

Rachel has a second video on this, but it's more about toxic purity culture rather than just Josh Harris's latest statement on his faith.


I agree that Christian purity culture is toxic because it focuses on sex more than the world does. It so does! It makes women ashamed of their own bodies almost because we can't show shoulders or too much leg or decolletage for fear of causing our brothers to stumble. It is ridiculous! I wonder if incels were former Christian men damaged by the purity culture.

There is nothing wrong with purity if a person is doing so unto God. But when it becomes unto man, religion, culture? Not good.

Rachel gives a heart wrenching testimony about it.

Okay, this is a bit off of Joshua Harris's faith, yet perhaps the fundamentalist purity culture damaged his faith. It's entirely possible.
I watched the first Stevens video. One piece of constructive criticism I would offer is the same as @Red Sky at Morning- that there is a balance between ultra legalism vs. grace. If both videos are only about defying Christian tradition, that's like reverse fundamentalism. She's still fixated on the issue. We get it, everyone has an opinion about living a holy lifestyle but you don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. In the 21 century we should consider why traditional values were passed on. Stay close to the Word of God and just be natural.
 

Swiftturtle

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I've thought about this further and it was wrong of me to say that I felt almost betrayed by Derek Webb. I'm not saved in the name of Derek Webb or Josh Harris or anyone other than Jesus. I just feel a bit sad when someone stumbles or falls. When Amy Grant was accused of having an affair, etc.

Rachel has a second video on this, but it's more about toxic purity culture rather than just Josh Harris's latest statement on his faith.


I agree that Christian purity culture is toxic because it focuses on sex more than the world does. It so does! It makes women ashamed of their own bodies almost because we can't show shoulders or too much leg or decolletage for fear of causing our brothers to stumble. It is ridiculous! I wonder if incels were former Christian men damaged by the purity culture.

There is nothing wrong with purity if a person is doing so unto God. But when it becomes unto man, religion, culture? Not good.

Rachel gives a heart wrenching testimony about it.

Okay, this is a bit off of Joshua Harris's faith, yet perhaps the fundamentalist purity culture damaged his faith. It's entirely possible.
A. I was already in a ‘she seems great’ feel bc of your profile pic- I’m going to be superficially honest. #AnneAlways
B. Totally agree. I loathed the ‘purity’ services. I wasn’t given a purity ring, but a necklace. I gave mine to my sister when she lost her necklace and got a lot of questions. It wasn’t even bc I was against purity, I was so upset with the way church was addressing it. One of the pastors sons came up to me after church one day and said “you’re...different”. I think it was meant as a shade, but I took it as a ‘thank the Lord...and God, help me stay that way.’

I started attending Matt’s church when it was small. Then it was reaching fire code occupancy at every service (6 between sat & sundays)...he has pastors all over calling him asking how he ‘got our demographic to go to church’ which showed just how out of touch some leaders are. This is one of my favorite excerpts. It was the first time I was listening to a pastor address something I’d felt since the ‘I kissed dating goodbye’ wave of youth group purity services. Matt was an atheist that started going to church bc he thought it was hilarious to watch ppl ‘believe in that nonsense.’ Favorite pastor I’ve ever had...
 
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Red Sky at Morning

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I watched the first Stevens video. One piece of constructive criticism I would offer is the same as @Red Sky at Morning- that there is a balance between ultra legalism vs. grace. If both videos are only about defying Christian tradition, that's like reverse fundamentalism. She's still fixated on the issue. We get it, everyone has an opinion about living a holy lifestyle but you don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. In the 21 century we should consider why traditional values were passed on. Stay close to the Word of God and just be natural.
The quote at the end of this little video says it all with regard to legalism...

 

Dalit

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A. I was already in a ‘she seems great’ feel bc of your profile pic- I’m going to be superficially honest. #AnneAlways
B. Totally agree. I loathed the ‘purity’ services. I wasn’t given a purity ring, but a necklace. I gave mine to my sister when she lost her necklace and got a lot of questions. It wasn’t even bc I was against purity, I was so upset with the way church was addressing it. One of the pastors sons came up to me after church one day and said “you’re...different”. I think it was meant as a shade, but I took it as a ‘thank the Lord...and God, help me stay that way.’

I started attending Matt’s church when it was small. Then it was reaching fire code occupancy at every service (6 between sat & sundays)...he has pastors all over calling him asking how he ‘got our demographic to go to church’ which showed just how out of touch some leaders are. This is one of my favorite excerpts. It was the first time I was listening to a pastor address something I’d felt since the ‘I kissed dating goodbye’ wave of youth group purity services. Matt was an atheist that started going to church bc he thought it was hilarious to watch ppl ‘believe in that nonsense.’ Favorite pastor I’ve ever had...
Great video! :) I like him. Yes, so many Christians have had sex (and no wonder with the hyper-focus on it) and have porn addictions or sex addictions that there's so much shame in the church. I like Chandler's more balanced approach.

I've been to legalistic churches and was once embarrassed/shamed by someone pointing out that I showed too much leg. I showed my calves and maybe an inch above my knees. I was fat, too. I doubt my chunky but yet muscular and toned calves would cause my brothers to stumble. I never wore that dress again and I hate that I let myself be shamed over it. My breasts were covered. It was not an inappropriate dress.

Plus, even if I wore something a little daring, it would not be my fault if men looked at me lustfully. It's a heart issue. A woman's body shouldn't be so hyper-sexualized. And I really am modest to where "a little daring" would be slightly above the knee, maybe shoulders, maybe a bit fitted but still pretty much completely covered.

I think this legalistic mindset has made men and women afraid of each other. Men will give me a "side hug" instead of a real hug because, well, purity. It would be a scandal if they hugged me straight on. Really? Smh. I've been a bit shy with men because of this and I shouldn't be. In fact, some men probably think I'm brazen and feisty when I speak my mind.

Thanks for your contributions. ;-) You, too @Red Sky at Morning and @DavidSon
 

Lisa

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Plus, even if I wore something a little daring, it would not be my fault if men looked at me lustfully. It's a heart issue. A woman's body shouldn't be so hyper-sexualized. And I really am modest to where "a little daring" would be slightly above the knee, maybe shoulders, maybe a bit fitted but still pretty much completely covered.
Don’t ya think though that lust is part of the attraction with men and women? Keeping lust in check for the right time is a different issue and one helped by modestly dressing.

Idk how modest your dress was but people can go overboard with modesty too. One extreme to another, that’s for sure.
 

JoChris

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A Christian apologist's viewpoint here.

I really hope it is only speculation on a reason why Harris may have turned 180 degrees on gay marriage.
 

Lisa

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A Christian apologist's viewpoint here.

I really hope it is only speculation on a reason why Harris may have turned 180 degrees on gay marriage.
I won’t be surprised if he comes out as homosexual or trans...
 

Dalit

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There might be more than meets the eye to the incident with Joshua Harris:-

Wow, didn't see the "one eye" symbol on the movie I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I thought the movie was good and in it he was still married (his wife was in the movie) and he had not abandoned the faith yet. He didn't even address LGBTQIA+ community in that movie. So Mike from On Point Preparedness got that wrong even though Harris was probably already moving toward his recent confession. But yet I agree with Harris on needing to apologize for that book. Even though the undergrad college I went to had more girls than boys there, unfortunately, I believe that I missed out on dating relationships in part because I was so shy and afraid to date. Harris's book influenced me in that. Although demand was high and supply was low in the eligible bachelor department also. Most girls found guys elsewhere, too, even though there were quite a few college sweethearts marrying.
 

Red Sky at Morning

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Wow, didn't see the "one eye" symbol on the movie I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I thought the movie was good and in it he was still married (his wife was in the movie) and he had not abandoned the faith yet. He didn't even address LGBTQIA+ community in that movie. So Mike from On Point Preparedness got that wrong even though Harris was probably already moving toward his recent confession. But yet I agree with Harris on needing to apologize for that book. Even though the undergrad college I went to had more girls than boys there, unfortunately, I believe that I missed out on dating relationships in part because I was so shy and afraid to date. Harris's book influenced me in that. Although demand was high and supply was low in the eligible bachelor department also. Most girls found guys elsewhere, too, even though there were quite a few college sweethearts marrying.
I missed out on the whole legalistic dating thing! I think he went way too far with legalism and control, as though God were an up-tight eighteenth century English vicar!
 

elsbet

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I'm seeing that now with watching his "I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye". Even though his saying that he's no longer a Christian does bother me. I hope it is just reactionary against fundamentalism. I hope he doesn't go the way of Derek Webb (former Caedmon's Call singer). Derek left his wife, left the faith, and wrote a worship song to alcohol ("The Spirit Bears the Curse"). I felt almost betrayed by Derek because I felt his music led me closer to Jesus and now he seems to want nothing to do with Jesus. I still listen to his music though and will.

Glad your kids are doing well. :)
Hm... wait till it stops working.
 
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